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2009/07/16

The Problem with BB


What a conundrum. Okay, so there are many out there who would say that taking a stance on the practice of barebacking is a no-brainer. Barebacking is dangerous. It risks the individual’s health and the health of those that individual comes in contact with. It’s not just a matter of HIV – it’s also a matter of syphilis and HPV and any number of other STDs.

The syphilis epidemic among gay men is of concern. The legions of tweeked-out Tina lovers with their suppressed immune systems (due to drug use and sometimes HIV) are gaga for barebacking. And while I it is tempting to lay all of the blame on their morphed little pointed heads, I realize that would be unfair. You can contract syphilis through oral sex. You also needn’t be tweeked-out – just bareback.

So is the syphilis problem overstated?

Probably. Considering the number of people reported with syphilis compared to the size of the general population, or even the gay male population for that matter. But they claim there is the possibility of creating a drug-resistant strain, just like that other bogey man, the HIV SuperVirus, that the scientific community and the media have been promising us for years. Okay, so maybe I’m being a bit too snide. Hey… it could happen. The potential is there. According to the media. And science. And maybe common sense.

STDs are no fun. Period. Avoid if at all possible. That should be the bottom line. Right?

Keep in mind – we’re dealing with a scientific, social and moral conundrum here. I have the right to plead totally confused, don’t I? Confused, yes. Ignorant? No.

And HPV? The stuff that got Farah in the end (shameless pun, tasteless pun)(I love Farah). Now granted, according to my doctor, everyone – regardless of whether they are sexually active (actively taking it up the butt) or not – has HPV. It lays dormant and then suddenly it awakens and starts creating growths in your anal canal (Dat be dah butt, Bob). I know about this first hand, because I am now being probed and biopsied every three months and we are talking tender tissue, bubs. Those biopsies are majorly messing with my fun in the sun time. So fear the HPV, not just in the long run, but in the short run. Stupid biopsies.

And HIV? Well, no longer a death sentence, but still a major bummer. Those damn pill regimens really cut into one’s ability to be spontaneous. Not to mention the cost. Damn drug companies. Am I being serious? Sort of. Keep in mind, I’m confused. And a lot of people don’t have health coverage (Obama, are you listening? You’re being awful quiet these days.)

And then there is the social stigma involved. Being a barebacker is hell on one’s social standing. Fucking stupid snobby gays. Eh… we love to hate each other, huh?

So, okay… pretty much covered the STD downside of the whole BB scene, I think.

Ummm… the upside. It feels good. As a top, condoms are a hassle and I know a number of guys (including me) who have issues staying hard when their wiener is being suffocated in a latex cozy. As a bottom, I love them. They make for easy clean up and in the event that there is a little poop juice, no problemo. Just shuck off that messy rubber and you’re still good to go for a little oral. (Ahhh, poop juice – a bottom’s worse nightmare). But then, shit happens.

There is also the added pleasure of doing something frowned upon. There is something inherently fun doing something you’re not supposed to. Something dirty and sinful… you know, like butt sex. So butt sex minus condom equals icing on cake – or icing in butt, as the case may be. Icing on my chest. On my ass. On my face… but I digress.

There is also the allure of all the language associated with this practice. The notion of breeding someone and taking seed – very animal, no? And animal is sexy. Yes… yes it is. Grrr. Woof.

And – you get to belong to a community or scene, as the gay chat rooms like to call them. To be part of a scene within a community within a society – now that is self-definition in a nutshell. And you can splinter that down further by being a barebacking gay man who wears leather and is into feet worship. Or be a gimp (as in Pulp Fiction). I’m not sure what layer of gay hell gimps occupy, but I am sure it is not over populated.

And there it is… the ying and yang of barebacking. I understand it. I understand those that do it. I have done it on occasion and in the past, when I didn’t know better. I am guilty. I chose it. I own it. Go ahead and mark me with a scarlet BB.

I also understand the moral, ethical and biological threat that it presents. Morally, I am torn. The inner slut in me wants to ride in a sling all day wearing a blindfold with a bottle of poppers shoved up my nose taking loads until the jizz just runs out of much used hole. And the realist inside of me says… whoa! This is wrong. This is bad. This goes against the grain of common sense and self preservation.

You know what? I love reading blogs about people who practice barebacking. They are very proud of it. Flaunt it. Celebrate it. I don’t read them to feel superior – I am NOT. I read them because I enjoy them. It is sexy. It is dirty. It is trampy. It is fun. And because a majority of them are written by bottoms, I relate to them.

That said, there is one I read written by a young top. I relate to him, too. He has a power thing. He is also poz.

But top or bottom, they all seem to relish in one thing – power. It’s in their language – both those that are poz and are neg. They talk about pozzing people (sometimes unsuspecting people – but hey – when it comes to barebacking, is there really such a thing as an unsuspecting person?). They talk about charged juice and mixing it up. They talk about taking loads. There is something predatory about it. Something sadomasochistic about it. Dom and Sub. Something, maybe, a little evil. And because of this aspect of good and evil and their focus on it… to my mind they resemble comic book heroes (or villains, depending on your stance). It is an intoxicating world they live in.

And what about the bug chasers? Well, what about them? They seem to be on a quest as well. They want to bring to fruition that promised SuperVirus. I relate less to them. HIV is not anything I would wish on anyone. But they are part of the world of BB as well.

So, I should be anti-barebacking, right? The smug, sexless, designer label fashionista gays have this stance down cold. But then, so do the common sense gays.

Are the barebackers rebels? Is that part of their appeal? Yes. They are and it is. And let’s face it, giving it to the man (pun intended) is really part of what being part of a counterculture is all about.

Well, that’s my very flawed argument. Flawed and flailing and failing.

But what about love?

What about preservation of the species?

What about survival of the fittest? You know, weeding out the weak via natural selection.

A moment’s joy. Is it worth all the possible consequences?

Boy, if you thought this entry was flawed and pointless… wait until I explore the world of those with HIV who have sex with other people, but fail to disclose! Yes? Uh-huh. Bring it on! Boy… that issue? Clear as an Ann Coulter anal pap smear. (Why Farah? Why not Ann Coulter?)

Isn’t life complex? And icky.

Ann Coulter / Anal Pap Smear: same thing?

Discuss.

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