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2012/04/27

Remaining True to Nature: Power Dynamics in Role Play

I feel like a ripe seed pod set to burst.  Spring brings out the horny little monster in me.  All I want to do is run around naked in the sun getting my nasty on.  Spring Fever equals Cum Fever?  Sure, but it goes beyond that, too.  There’s another component to my psyche that keeps rearing its ugly little monster head time and time again.  It has something to do with being submissive and perhaps humiliated.  I can tie it to my recent (?) obsession with water sport vids and dominant, hot, hwp daddies talking filth to their bareback laddies.  Last night, I caught two such features on my current favorite free porn site: chandlerbingay, a blog filled with photos and embedded gay porn to tickle the delight of almost any homo.  The site is French, but I have started to recognize certain words and can therefore find the type of content that titillates my horny. Needless to say, these vids had me grinding the mattress last night and have my heart racing yet this morning.   In fact, if it were just a tad warmer, I would go for a run outside sans jock strap this morning.  But, unfortunately the sun is refusing to cooperate, so I may just have to play with that idea in my head a little longer.

That scenario is definitely part of what I have in mind these days – to find myself being dominated in the woods by a group of men who want to piss on me and fuck me senseless. This most recent ultimate fantasy is probably something every fag with a submissive bent has contemplated. And because of that probability, there is also a strong probability that someone out there is actually into the dom side of this particular scene.  In Minnesota?  Not so sure.  But somewhere.  Hey, I’d settle for a tea room scene with me kneeling next to the urinal trough. 
Humiliation play and degradation play walk the same thin line that rape scenarios tip-toe upon.  All can play hell with one’s psyche (if, for example, the submissive has poor self-esteem) and all involve a type of subjugation that the bulk of society would deem unseemly, inappropriate, and just plain wrong – as in very insensitive and politically incorrect.  The standard response to such criticism is that what takes place between two consenting adults is cool.  But does that include the most dicey of role play?  I think it depends upon the emotional stability and discipline of those involved.  In order to successfully role play one needs to be able to compartmentalize or compart-mentalize (get it?).  It’s about where our heads and hearts are at, and more importantly – where they are not!
With that in mind, let’s look at role play that involves the taboo.  This would include rape fantasy play, incest play (daddy-son), and even racial dominance play. 
The term rape is thrown around in a sexual manner pretty carelessly by many, including me.  I can’t tell you the number of times I have told a dude to “rape my ass”.  In fact, I have (had) one fuck bud for whom rape scenarios were his big thing.  I was happy to oblige, since it involved the type of subservience that gets me off.  He’s raped me in my garage several times over the years (and once even pimped my ass out to four other dudes with me blindfolded). The rape scenario (for us) typically involves him spitting on me, him choking me (once to the point where I think I blacked out – SCARY), and physically, forcibly, holding me down (once – when another dude was fucking me – he put his boot on my head and pressed it to the ground and held it there).  The last time we played the whole rape thing, he fucked me in his car – the front seats lying flat, me face down being force-fed poppers, with him riding my backside.  It was hot.  We did this in the parking lot of a local park I go to.  It was winter and we waited until it was dark.  I’d arrived early and was good to go when he arrived.  He parked next to my car.  I got out of mine and then sat on the passenger side of his.  He’s a very verbal top and I like his banter.  The fact that he loves force-feeding me poppers only makes it that much hotter.  Physically, he’s bigger than me, muscular in that Viking/Woodsman kind of way – he has the long hair and facial hair to be cast as either.  On this particular occasion there was one other dude in the parking lot – a redneck type who only likes really old dudes to watch him jerk his big fat dick in his truck (or so I have been told).  Apparently we were making enough noise that he had to come over and tap on the windows to see what we were doing.  My rapist was actually mid-fuck, both of us naked as hell when this happened.  Dude fucking me just reached over, lowered the window and asked, “What the hell do you want?”  The redneck just wanted to know what we were doing.  My rapist shot back, “I’m raping his bitch cunt.  You want some?”  The redneck declined and walked back to his truck.  Yeah, it was pretty weird (and awesome).  Since then, I’ve kind of cooled on this dude.  Not sure why.  It could have to do with the actual quality of the fuck, or maybe his dick size, or maybe our energies just no longer click.  
Daddy-Son role play is hot.  I’ve been on both side of the equation and have been both a daddy top and a daddy bottom.  I used to have this cute-ass red-headed boy that loved to be my son.  He would show up at my rehab properties and we would get nasty with one another.  The verbal interplay was key.  And, yeah, it can get a little too porn movie at times, but I like improv, and really do my best to keep my dialogue fresh.  This redhead is fifteen years younger than me, which makes the whole scene plausible.  His body is kind of fleshy and edible.  A pale redhead with freckles always gets me going, and when they have nice calves, a beefy butt, hot pecs, a nice dick with a pair of lowhangers, and a kissable mouth – all the better.  We started out pretty timid with one another, but by our third get together the gloves came off (literally) and we got into some real nasty interplay.  I loved telling him to show daddy what kind of man he turned out to be and to prove to his old man that he wasn’t a total waste of my seed. We were both into jock straps and I loved making him soak the pouch of mine with his mouth, talking trash to him the whole time.  He proved to be a good boy, a great top and a great kisser. 
But by our fifth tryst, the power dynamic between us began to shift.  I began to get a lot more interested in my boy’s ass.  Rimming had always been a part of our scene, so it was not uncommon for us to end up in a 69, with both of us eating the other’s hole.  The kid had a sweet, beefy ass – the kind just ripe for spanking and fucking, so it should have come as no surprise when I started to play around with the idea of daddy doing just that.  I’m not a serious spanker, more of a playful one, so that became part of what we did without either of us missing a beat.  Routinely, when being topped, I will smack a dude’s ass and really, the spanking that took place with this son was pretty much the same thing. (Although, I must say, the idea of the whole disciplinarian / over-the-knee thing is kind of hot – as long as it doesn’t go on too long or is taken too seriously).  So, while the spanking was incorporated without so much as a blink of the eye – the topping thing was a whole ‘nother matter.  Dude had been barebacking my ass ever since the third time we played – but when the reverse became a possibility, he kind of clammed up on me.  He was house-sitting and we were mid fuck on a big queen-sized bed.  Things had been proceeding nicely and he had already fucked me for a bit – but then he lost his hard on and that’s when daddy decided to start working the boy’s butt.  But the boy got all quiet and a bit pensive.  I offered to put on a condom, but that wasn’t it.  It was the power dynamic.  We haven’t played since that time and, in fact, other than saying ‘hi’ to each other on-line, we have never broached the subject of getting together again.  So, as long as it was “Breeding Daddy”, or ‘the boy showing his old man’s hole who was boss’ - he was cool with it, but the moment the boy’s ass was on the line – the boy went off-line. 
Power dynamics are very important to any role play scenario.  I can think of another type where if the roles were reversed, things could get really ugly, really fast.  I have this dom black dude I used to play with.  He’s definitely one of those on the down-low types and what he sees in me (other than someone who is willing to keep his mouth shut and whom he will never see in the circles he travels) I will never know.  I would say it was a matter of convenience, except that the role play we engage in routinely would not be everybody’s cup of tea.  You see, he’s all about calling me a ‘white bitch’ and fucking that ‘cracker pussy’.  Seriously.  To get him off, all I have to do is start telling him about how wonderful his big black cock feels up inside of me.  He works himself up into a lather – and our sessions always end with us both part of a big, sweaty, heaving mass.  I let him call me names.  I even let him call me racially charged names.  But the term ‘black’ is as far as I feel I can go.  I loathe the n-word (no matter who says it or in what context) and could never imagine a scenario where I would feel comfortable using it.  The same is true of the term ‘boy’.  He can call me that, but I could never call him that – even though he’s significantly younger than me.  To use either terms in this case would spoil the role play.  The n-word is simply too powerfully abrasive and charged.  It would upset the power dynamic of the relationship.  This is one of those ‘too far over the line’ cases –something I place in the same category as scat, blood, and anything to do with children..  
At play in each one of these scenarios is a kind of power dynamic with specific language and physical actions attached.  In order to successfully navigate a given role play, you really need to know your script – or at least the outline of one.  Adherence, in these cases, is not optional (which for a sub like me makes it all the hotter).
So, what am I to do with my longings?   I tried Recon.  Too many rules.  Too many uptight leather queens with lots of limits and demands.  I need something more spontaneous.  Which probably means the whole getting dommed by a group of dudes in the woods is not going to happen anytime soon. 
Unless I just happen upon a group of sex-starved woodsmen, who are looking for an ugly, old faggot to use and abuse.  Ah, hope springs eternal and it is that hope that keeps me hiking on almost a daily basis each and every spring.  Brings to mind a song…
“I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood, I know I could, always be good…”
Heavens!  Goodness has nothing to with it.

2012/04/20

Oh, My! - Eau Claire, and Maddingly Madison

Went to Madison last weekend.  It was a good time.  Very pretty city.  I love downtown, with the capitol building at its center.  At night that place lights up that world. 

On the way there I dropped in on a friend in Eau Claire.  We had hooked up once before.  He is a real sweet dude; younger than me by at least ten years, shorter than me by at least  a foot, carrying a few extra pounds – but also carrying one serious-ass dick between his legs.  It has an odd curve to it, but he sure knows how to take maximum advantage of that unique feature; hitting spots that I didn’t even know I had.  He’s a talented fucker.  Very skilled and very… determined.  We went at it for like an hour straight. If his dick was straight it would probably top out at 9 inches – but it is its thickness that manages to make the biggest impression. 

In chatting each other up before this trip, he kept hinting that he would like to try something kinky.  Hey, I am game, I told him – just name your pleasure.  He wouldn’t.  Finally I suggested watersports.  I’d been watching a couple of choice piss vids online in the days before my trip and thought it looked like fun.  It was agreed that we would take turns pissing on each other and then fuck. 

The whole trip there I slammed bottle after bottle of water.  By the time my navigator told me my destination was on my right, I had to piss big time.  I made my way to his apartment and told him, quite bluntly, that I had to piss.  We stripped down and made our way to the bathroom.  Standing in the tub, we kissed.  I’d forgotten what a good kisser he is… as in, one of the best.  I just lost myself.  The only thing that kept me on task was the ache of my expanded bladder.  He made a move that he was ready to fuck me, standing up, in the shower, right then and there.  I begged off, explaining that I’d just driven for two hours and needed to check my ass. 

Instead, I pissed on him.  I stood outside the tub and he lay down.  Following the same protocol I’d seen in the vids, I pissed on his torso and dick, before directing the bulk of my volume into his mouth.  He didn’t swallow, and I couldn’t tell if he really enjoyed it.  Then it was my turn.   I lay down, he straddled the rim of the tub and let loose.  Would I do it again?  Eh.  Not sure.  It was fine, but not the jolt in the rod that I thought it was going to be.  Maybe this is one kink that is better to watch rather than actually do.  Although I did like the power surge I felt as I pissed on him. 

I helped him to his feet and we kissed again.  I told him he smelled like someone just pissed all over him.  We showered, soaping each other up and then I told him I needed a few minutes in the bathroom alone.  He went to the bedroom and I went to work, cleaning out my ass. 

Once in the bedroom, the kissing resumed.  He had bareback porn on the flat screen, so I knew what he was expecting.  Neither of us disappointed the other, with both of us bringing our A+ game.  He fucked me in every imaginable position and some I had never experienced before – at angles that I would never have suggested.  But due to the curve of his dick, it was all good –very good!

I left completely satiated.  That said, I’m glad he lives in Eau Claire, or I’d probably be married by now.

Madison was a series of coffee meetings, lunches, and happy hours.  My only free time was going to be Saturday night, which I would be spending at a certain well-established dance club.  I totally planned on getting majorily fucked that night, going so far as to put an ad on Craigslist looking for dick.  I got lots of responses – which pleased me to no end.

Friday day was spent downtown Madison.  Between meetings, I checked out the Museum of Modern Art, the capitol building, and the Wisconsin History Museum.  I also sat at a coffee shop writing.  It was a good day and I totally recommend spending time downtown Madison.  It was lovely.

Fast-forward to Saturday night, I was ready to go.  I had like a possible four dudes lined up – one who promised to take me out back of the club and seriously fuck my hole deep.  They all flaked; including the couple that I had met earlier that evening at a leather bar downtown.  They were just opening up their relationship and were playing their cards pretty close to their vests.  That was cool with me.  I don’t push.  I told them where I would be later and they promised to show up.

So, I’m at the dance club and really, nothing much was happening.  No one was showing up, or I was getting emails telling me they were not coming.  There was this cute, older bald dude with great forearms, a gap-toothed smile,  and a really appealing nose sitting at the bar.  The stool next to him was open, so I plopped my ass next to his and introduced myself – something I never do.  And it wasn’t booze that was the motivating factor, for I had chosen (wisely) to drink water all evening.  He, on the other hand, was halfway through a rather strong gin and tonic.  He told me he was definitely feeling it.  I told him I would like to feel it, too.  Earlier I’d observed him adjusting the crotch of his jeans several times – and that, my friends, was my real motivating factor.

We sat next to each other feeling each other up, kissing, and fooling around.  Then he unzipped my fly and took my dick out.  I was a little worried that we would get kicked out, but when I voiced this concern he told me not to worry – that dudes were cool with it here.  Sure enough, a bunch of guys stood around us, acting as shields.  Other than our impromptu guards, the only person of authority who could see what was going on was the bartender and if he minded, he didn’t say anything.  So, I undid my bar buddy’s fly and let his dick out of captivity.

 It was hot – the idea of all those eyes on us.  We spent most of our time just kissing and stroking each other.  He had some nice pre-cum worked up.  His body was tight and he really seemed to dig mine as well.  Then, without so much as a “may I”, he bent over and took my dick in his mouth.  I don’t honestly know if anyone was watching.  Probably, but that was also part of the turn on, I think.  Also, my dick was so hard that I really liked showing it off.  After a bit I had to pull him off my dick for fear that I’d spooge right there and then.  He then excused himself to the bathroom. 

As he left, and I zipped up, I glanced up just in time to see the couple I’d met earlier leaving the bar.  Almost immediately I got a text saying they were leaving.  I stayed in contact with them and we plan to hook up next time I am in town.  I don’t know if they saw me making out with the dude or not, but hey – if they did, well… now they know.  Yep, I’m a big slut.

My bar buddy returned, told me he just shot his load in the bathroom, and then called it a night.  Hope I see him on my next trip to Madison.  I kind of wanted that load.

The rest of the evening at the bar was kind of a let down.  It was storming, raining outside, so no one was sneaking off behind the building to fuck.  I did fool around with a really cute, short slut in one of the bathrooms for about ten minutes, but we got walked in on, and I cut it short.  He was hot, but I knew right away he was one of the regulars at the bar… and that he had followed or enticed at least six other dudes into the bathroom to do the exact same thing.  He wanted me to fuck him, but I wasn’t having it – cute as his ass was.  After that he just gave me the snobby cold shoulder.  He’s now on my must avoid list – only because I wish I had the pull power he possesses and wish I had that kind of success rate.  Oh, jealousy!

After the bar closed I went out back to see what was up.  No one was around.  I went to a corner and stood.  Soon this hoodie wearing black dude came along.  He was real young, but knew exactly what he wanted – which was to get his dick sucked.  I obliged him.  He was tall and thin and his dick was at least nine inches and fat as fuck.  I did manage to swallow it all.  I’d been working on him about twenty minutes, when this other dude showed up.   He was in his late twenties/early thirties, dressed in frat gear, and drunk as shit.  He pushed me out of the way and went to work on the black dude’s knob.  I didn’t mind sharing.  There was plenty there.  Thing is, the dude was a pretty incompetent cocksucker.  At most, he took maybe three inches in his mouth and his technique was pretty yawn inducing.  Every once in a while I would catch the eye of the black dude, who would smile at me and roll his eyes, as if to say – what the fuck.  The drunk dude gave up after about five minutes and I took over for another five, only to have the drunk dude push me out of the way again.  Finally, he completely gave up and walked away.  I went back to work – bringing every trick I knew to the game.  After another twenty minutes, the drunk dude was back, this time with poppers.  The poppers really didn’t improve his performance and after several inept attempts, he again gave up and disappeared into the night. 

That’s when I really decided to concentrate on getting this dude off.  I closed my eyes and let my tongue and mouth read his hard-on like braille.  I finally found the thing to keep him up and hard.  I would vacillate between two methods – one involving my tongue working the big cum vein on the underside of his shaft, and the other creating major suction on the head of his dick.  It worked and the dude finally lost his load.  We parted ways – an hour and twenty minutes after I first started.  Possibly the longest blow job I have ever given. 

And that was it.  The rest of the weekend and the Monday drive home were completely sexless.  But that’s okay.  You can’t hit all home runs every weekend. 

Otherwise no one would come to your ball games.

2012/04/13

Acquired Tastes, Chapter XVII : Rimming

So, I have put off  writing this particular Acquired Tastes entry for well over a year.  Why?  I think it’s because it has to do with mouth on butt stuff.  Am I squeamish?  Or a hypocrite?  The answer: I’m both.  This topic makes me uncomfortable.  I could blame it on that idiot Ugandan religious figure that gives ‘talks’ about what homosexuals do with one another and why they should be put to death for it.  I saw the video on Instinct – a great site for gay news.  Here’s a link: http://instinctmagazine.com/index.php  Anyway, this pastor/reverend ignoramus seems obsessed with the idea that one gay man puts his mouth on the rectum of another gay man so he can eat “the poo-poo”.  And, yes, that is pretty much a direct quote (especially “the poo-poo” part). 

Okay, so scat is something some dudes are into – straight and gay – but that is not what rimming is about (or being gay, for that matter).  Or at least not what it is supposed to be about.  Yes, there are those microscopic concerns when it comes to this particular activity and that is the main reason why I am so squeamish when it comes to writing about(although, not performing)…

Rimming

Scope of Activity:

Yes, one gay man puts his mouth on the rectum of another – but no ‘poo-poo’ is to be involved.  Rather this is done for the sake of sexual arousal.  So we ain’t talking scat, Uganda. 

Anyway, lots of tongue-play, lots of saliva.  This is the gay male version of cunnilingus. 

The Official Line:

With information from Wikipedia:

Anilingus (from anus + lingus (Latin Lingere: to lick), also spelled analingus, also referred to or described as anal–oral contact or anal–oral sex, is a form of oral sex involving contact between the anus or perineum of one person and the mouth (lips) or tongue of another. Slang terms frequently used are rimming or rim-job. Anilingus can be performed by people of all sexual orientations and, depending upon the context in which it is performed, it may be used for personal pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.

Anilingus involves a variety of techniques to stimulate the anus including kissing, licking, and sliding the tongue up and down the insides of the cheeks and crack of the buttocks, and in and out of the anus itself. Pleasure for the giver is usually based more on the principle of the act.  Mutual anilingus can also be done in the position called 69.

Psychological Aspects:

Hmmm.  What makes someone eat out the butt of another (in this case we’ll just address dude on dude.  The Wikipedia entry makes reference to “erotic humiliation”, and while talking about man-on-man mouth-on-hole action make be a tad embarrassing for some, the actual act usually takes place with a real sense of purpose and drive.  In other words, dudes that eat ass really love to eat ass.  It’s primal.  It’s dirty fucking sex at its wildest. 

Psychologically what drives a man to eat another man’s hole?  Got me.  I’ve done it, and gotten into it.  Usually as a bit of foreplay before fucking that same hole.  I can’t imagine rimming as a lone act, but there are probably dudes out there for whom that is their only ticket into heaven.   What that’s about?  Probably the same thing as hetro men who only want to eat pussy all the time.  Which, given the flavor, I will stick with the butt, Bob.

My Experience:

So, what is the big deal with rimming?  Why does it make me squirm in my seat and put off addressing in this blog.  Well, there are many health problems that can result from practicing anilingus, because of the presence of bacteria, viruses or parasites on or in the anus or rectum. These include hepatitis A, B, & C, intestinal parasites, chlamydia infection, poliomyelitis, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes simplex virus, conjunctivitis, and other sexually transmitted diseases. That said, the HIV virus is not believed to be easily transmitted via rimming.

Makes me never want to engage it again.  But, when the opportunity arises, while I am more likely to say no, it still happens on occasion.  The number of dudes who do it to me far outnumber those that I have done it to.

I do liken it to eating pussy – something that I have actually done (and didn’t care for).  There is that animal energy that takes over – that same energy that finds you doing all sorts of nasty things you would never consider doing unless your clothes are off and you are in the midst of some hot man-to-man fun with some hot man. 

Being on the receiving end is a lot easier to take.  Granted, I have suffered numerous sessions where the dude back there hadn’t a clue of what to do, and I have also had instances where the dude to it to a point of extreme – where it ended up feeling like a cat’s tongue working my hole.  But on occasion I have been privileged to find my hole worked over by a true artist.  It’s rare, but it does happen.  So, even though it is not my favorite thing in the world, I will submit, give a dude a chance – if for no other reason than that it is something they want to do, something they like, and as a GGG sexual partner, I feel I need to give my blessing and let them have at it.  Hey, if it gets them off, it’s good.

Other than the dude at the warehouse who rimmed my hole for twenty plus minutes while I was sucking on this other dude, I really can’t recall a specific instance where rimming was memorable.  And the only reason that was memorable is, not due to his skill level, but due to the length of time involved and the fact that by the end of it his tongue felt like sandpaper on my poor hole.

Do I think I am a great rimmer?  No.  I will give it my all for a short time period, but, because it holds so little interest to me, it is really just a speed bump on the way to fucking that hole.  That said, while I engage in it, I am fully committed – but if you think I’m going to spend more than five minutes eating your ass, you got another thing coming (so to speak).

I have often wondered if I would feel differently about rimming if it weren’t for the parasites – parasites which I have at one time in my life been treated for.  Whether that was because of some food handler who failed to wash his hands or all that ass eating I have done – I can’t say (let’s blame that food handler, okay, doc?). 

I have read that dental dams are a possible solution – do they sell those at Walgreen’s?  But that feels and sounds a lot less sexy than condoms.  And I have yet to find anyone that would warm to the idea of using cling wrap on their hole.  So I guess that means that rimming will probably remain on my personal ‘no fly zone’.

My Conclusion:

Yay.  I wrote about rimming. 

Yay.  I’m done writing about rimming.

My apologies to all you rimming enthusiasts.  You deserve much better.  Hey, check the internet.  I am sure there are tons of sites dedicated to this.  There may even be a blog written by a butt munching enthusiast... somewhere.