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2014/08/05

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: I Just Wanna Go To Sleep


TMI Questions – Classic Edition: 
I Just Wanna Go To Sleep

…and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.
To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream;
Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.
There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life…
- W. Shakespeare

I love to sleep.  Love to take naps.  Some days, that sweet escape is all I live for.

Those are the same times when sleep remains it’s most elusive.

No rest for the wicked.

No peace for the guilty.

Yes, it seems…

…a monster’s work is never done.

TMI QUESTIONS:
Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information
Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: I Just Wanna Go To Sleep

What do you wear to bed?

Typically, if sleeping alone, boxer briefs and a white cotton tee. 

If it is super hot?  I will go without the tee. 

When sleeping with the boyfriend?  Nothing.  He doesn’t allow it.  Clothing gets between us.  We spoon pretty intensely throughout the night, which is something new for me, but, guess what?  I like it.  A lot.  Sort of live for it now.  It’s a case of; you don’t know what you’re missing.

Now that I found it?  I’m not giving it up.

Even if that means sleeping in the raw.

Who or what sleeps with you at night?

All my dogs used to sleep with me, but now they sleep with my ex. 

I sort of miss it, but I also had to accommodate them all the time.  Also, my restlessness tended to disturb their sleep.

Currently, my sleeping schedule goes like this:

Sunday thru Thursday: I sleep alone
Friday and Saturday: With the boyfriend

The boyfriend and I like to take naps, so we get those in there on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, usually after a workout or swimming. 

And, yes, we sleep in the buff then, too.

Do you like a cold room or a hot room?

I like a cold room. You can always add blankets.  Love sleeping in the winter.

That said, I get the chills really easily, especially in summer, so I have to be very vigilant about monitoring my body temperature, which runs on the cold side of things. 

Last night, it was warm, and I tried sleeping without any blanket.  Ended up waking up around 3:00 am, with a case of the chills – went right through me.  As per usual, it took me an hour to warm up.

So, I would rather sweat a little than get chilled.  Takes me forever to recover from those chills.

Lots of blankets or just one?

Two to three thick ones in the winter.  One light blanket in the summer.

In winter, when it is really cold?  I love piling on the blankets.   It’s like living in a fort.  I end up feeling so safe.

It also feels like I am hiding.

Do you hog the blankets?

No.  Never. 

And it’s funny – any time I have slept with a blanket hog? 

They never admit it.  You can point out the evidence the next morning, but they won’t cop to it. 

Dirty rotten blanket hogs.

What size is your bed and what kind of mattress is it?

I’m currently sleeping in a single bed.  It’s a daybed, but it suits me just fine.

To be honest, it is not very comfortable, but I also like to sleep on the floor or a hard, flat surface.  So, in a way, it’s just fine, for now.

Maybe in the future I will bother to get a real bed. 

But I don’t know what the future is about, at the moment, so…

…we’ll see.

Do you eat in bed?

Not really.

Sometimes I will sit on the bed and eat a bowl of cereal while I watch television, but that’s not very often. 

If I’m going to bed to sleep?  I don’t do anything else.  Maybe read.

Even when I’m sick, I will get up and sit on the couch and eat, rather than eat in bed. 

Eating in bed has simply never felt right, to me.

What kind of sleeper are you?

Horrible.

I don’t know how the boyfriend puts up with it, but he is a heavier sleeper, so that helps.

Unless I have taken a pill, or am exhausted to the point of coma, I toss and turn and run things through my mind, and make up stories, and fantasize about anonymous sex, or re-examine all my failings, or tear apart every relationship I have ever had, or relive theatre disasters, or…

Ugh.

I have a lot of nightmares.  Especially when sleeping alone. It is not uncommon for me to wake up two or three times in a single night, screaming. 

Sometimes, these nightmares follow me into waking.  The other night, when I opened my eyes, I was certain there were three slanty-eyed gremlins with three-pointed talons leaning over the back of my piano ready to pounce on me. I screamed and screamed and they went away.

And, also, last week, I woke in a fright, and felt something rush past me and dart under my bed.  I actually felt the air move and, therefore, spent the next hour or so, convinced that something was under my bed.

This, my night terrors, has only happened a few times with the boyfriend.  I think he termed it, ‘cute’.  It happens less when I’m with him; the longer I am with him.  I feel safer in his arms.  He has big, strong arms.

So, that’s what happens on those nights when sleep does come. 

Those nights, when it will not?

I used to spend a lot of time in bed concocting revenge scenarios or attempting to rewrite history, but no more.  I don’t believe in either.  The truth is fine by me, even if it’s ugly.  I own all my ugly.  And revenge?  That is so not me.  In this lifetime, my duty is to identify what is important and get over the rest of it, which is something I continue to get better and better at.

However, because I have spent a lifetime in the role of observer and witness, my mind tends to hold on to details that I would just as soon forget.  It likes to hurl these memories at me, like poisoned darts, in the dark, when I am least capable of fending them off. 

That said… recently, I believe I’ve taken on a new role.  A much simpler one, where drama doesn’t register on the radar at all.  Now, if the old world intrudes on the new one, I simply refocus on what is truly beautiful in the given moment, and appreciate the joy that is to be found there.

And, if that fails, I pour myself a gin martini the size of my head and sip slowly.

Ah, gin. 

Cures all ills.

What is under your bed?

Monsters.

No, seriously.

Nothing else.

No boxes, no electronics, no bedding, no porn, no slippers, no dust bunnies.

Just monsters. 

Lots and lots of monsters.

Bonus
What won't you do in bed?

Hmmm.

During that time period when I was expanding my whore-izons, there wasn’t much that was off the table (no blood, no scat, no permanent scars, no excessive pain)…

But that’s changed.

I’m no prude, far from it, but I’ve narrowed the field quite a bit.

For the most part:

No drugs.
No food.
No props.
No costumes.
No instruments of torture.
No porn.
No toys.

Unless I can do it with my mind or my body, it’s probably not going to be happening.

Yep, I’ve gone back to basics.

And, I’m lovin’ it!




















































1 comment:

whkattk said...

Well, now, Upton...you know I have to chastise you for wearing the boxers when you sleep. That's a no-no. Wear nothing below the waist that could impair the development of those nocturnal erections.

That said...I love the quote at the top. I always sleep naked. I never eat in bed. There is nothing under my bed - not even monsters at this stage of my life. The only other being in my bed is my wife - perhaps one of the cats but they're usually outside or curled up on the floor. No food, but there is always a glass of water on the bedside table.