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2014/08/12

Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooters of the Week’: The 63 Texas GOPs Who Believe Gay Marriage Leads to Pedophilia, Polygamy & Incest


Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooters of the Week’: 
The 63 Texas GOPs Who Believe 
Gay Marriage Leads to Pedophilia, Polygamy & Incest

It seems the ‘Butt Scoot’ has replaced the ‘Boot Scoot’ in the not-so-great state of Texas.  You, know, Texas – where the GOP, only two months ago, softened their rhetoric on gays from outright condemnation to the endorsement of (now, discredited) gay conversion therapy.

Yes, something tells me that Michele Bachmann would feel right at home in the Lone Star State; home of President Wannabe Rick ‘Oops!’ Perry and 63 of the most ignorant, illogical, and homophobic politicians to be found in these United States.

On 8/4/14, these turdscooters, members of the Texas Conservative Coalition, put their collective John Hancock on an amicus brief sent to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in an attempt to appeal a federal district judge’s decision in DeLeon v. Perry, which termed all gay marriage bans in the 5th Circuit Court (which includes Texas) unconstitutional, and that those bans violated the equal-protection clause of the Constitution.

The most upsetting thing about this particular appeal is its attempt to link same-sex marriage to incest, polygamy and pedophilia.

The brief, in part, reads:

“The district court broadened the definition of the ‘existing right to marry’ as one that includes the right of people to ‘select the partners of their choosing’ for marriage, without regard to sex. If the right to select ‘partners of their choosing’ is the criterion used to invoke marriage as a fundamental right, then marriage restrictions on age, polygamy and consanguinity are also ripe for challenge.”

Yes, they dare proffer this as part of their argument, despite the fact that the federal court has already ruled that the legalization of “morally reprehensible actions” like pedophilia was not a “logical next step” to the legalization of same-gender marriage.

But wait, there’s more.  The appeal also argues:

  • “Texas’s marriage laws are rooted in a basic reality of human life: procreation requires a male and a female.  Two people of the same sex cannot, by themselves, procreate.”
  • Banning same-sex marriage will “minimize the societal costs that can result from procreation outside of stable, lasting marriages” and that “the State’s recognition and encouragement of opposite-sex marriages increases the likelihood that naturally procreative couples will produce children, and that they will do so in the context of stable, lasting relationships”. (You know, despite all the studies that show that the average divorce rate in states with legal same-sex marriage is 20 percent lower than in those states that ban it.)
  • Limiting marriage to one man and one woman “gives women and children the surest protection against poverty and abuse,” and “provides for healthy psychological development of children.”
This last part of the appeal actually cites the much discredited research by Mark Regnerus regarding the quality of life for children raised by same-sex couples. “There is a wide range of literature supporting this view, particularly with regard to child development, making it plausible and, thus, rational for legislators to believe,” (despite that whole debunked, flawed, should never have been published, research thing).  Research a Michigan court went so far as to call “entirely unbelievable and not worthy of serious consideration”, noting that Regnerus’ research was “hastily concocted at the behest of a third-party funder” which was seeking skewed results. Even gay marriage opponents in Utah had enough sense to drop any mention of this research from their legal briefs.

But then, Texas is not Utah.  No, Utah has its own brand of crazy. 

Texas’ version of crazy is… well, like everything else in Texas: bigger.

For example, here’s a big list of Texan’s currently on the wrong side of history, the facts, and common sense:
  1. Brian Birdwell, Texas Senate
  2. Donna Campbell, Texas Senate
  3. Bob Deuell, Texas Senate
  4. Craig Estes, Texas Senate
  5. Troy Fraser, Texas Senate
  6. Kelly Hancock, Texas Senate
  7. Robert Nichols, Texas Senate
  8. Dan Patrick, Texas Senate
  9. Ken Paxton, Texas Senate
  10. Charles Schwertner, Texas Senate
  11. Larry Taylor, Texas Senate
  12. Charles Anderson, Texas House of Representatives
  13. Trent Ashby, Texas House of Representatives
  14. Cecil Bell, Jr., Texas House of Representatives
  15. Dwayne Bohac, Texas House of Representatives
  16. Dennis Bonnen, Texas House of Representatives
  17. Greg Bonnen, Texas House of Representatives
  18. Angie Chen Button, Texas House of Representatives
  19. Tom Craddick, Texas House of Representatives
  20. Brandon Creighton, Texas House of Representatives
  21. Myra Crownover, Texas House of Representatives
  22. Gary Elkins, Texas House of Representatives
  23. Pat Fallon, Texas House of Representatives
  24. Allen Fletcher, Texas House of Representatives
  25. Dan Flynn, Texas House of Representatives
  26. James Frank, Texas House of Representatives
  27. John Frullo, Texas House of Representatives
  28. Craig Goldman, Texas House of Representatives
  29. Larry Gonzales, Texas House of Representatives
  30. Lance Gooden, Texas House of Representatives
  31. Linda Harper-Brown, Texas House of Representatives
  32. Harvey Hilderbran, Texas House of Representatives
  33. Bryan Hughes, Texas House of Representatives
  34. Jason Isaac, Texas House of Representatives
  35. Phil King, Texas House of Representatives
  36. Tim Kleinschmidt, Texas House of Representatives
  37. Stephanie Klick, Texas House of Representatives
  38. Lois Kolkhorst, Texas House of Representatives
  39. Matt Krause, Texas House of Representatives
  40. Jodie Laubenberg, Texas House of Representatives
  41. George Lavender, Texas House of Representatives
  42. Jeff Leach, Texas House of Representatives
  43. Tryon Lewis, Texas House of Representatives
  44. Rick Miller, Texas House of Representatives
  45. Geanie Morrison, Texas House of Representatives
  46. Jim Murphy, Texas House of Representatives
  47. Rob Orr, Texas House of Representatives
  48. John Otto, Texas House of Representatives
  49. Tan Parker, Texas House of Representatives
  50. Charles Perry, Texas House of Representatives
  51. Larry Phillips, Texas House of Representatives
  52. Scott Sanford, Texas House of Representatives
  53. Matt Schaefer, Texas House of Representatives
  54. Ralph Sheffield, Texas House of Representatives
  55. Ron Simmons, Texas House of Representatives
  56. John Smithee, Texas House of Representatives
  57. Drew Springer, Texas House of Representatives
  58. Van Taylor, Texas House of Representatives
  59. Ed Thompson, Texas House of Representatives
  60. Steve Toth, Texas House of Representatives
  61. Scott Turner, Texas House of Representatives
  62. James White, Texas House of Representatives
  63. Bill Zedler, Texas House of Representatives

So, join me in a 63 ‘Butt Scoot’ salute to Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooters of the Week’: the Texan politicians who believe that gay marriage leads to pedophilia, polygamy and incest.

Yep, everything truly is bigger in Texas.

And that, apparently, includes ignorance.



2 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

and being a TX turdscooter means you have your head so far up your ass you can see your food coming down your intestine. asshats!

whkattk said...

Ah, but if it were simple "ignorance" they could be taught. Who was it that said, "You can't fix stupid."?

I guarantee if you did a search, you find a good number of legislators who voted for this have been divorced: So much for opposite sex marriage being "stable," eh?