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2014/11/10

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Pastor James David Manning (Again)


Wonderland Burlesque’s 
Turdscooter of the Week: 
Pastor James David Manning 
(Again)

Pastor Manning has the honor of being Wonderland Burlesque’s first back-to-back winner!  But read on and I think you will see exactly why he’s so deserving.

Last week, Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem, New York, renowned homophobe and host of the online series ‘The Manning Report’, who believes, among other things, that gays enjoying their lattes at Starbucks are spreading the Ebola virus and that it would be appropriate to stone gays “back to hell” dropped another little dingleberry of truth, claiming that the appeal of Starbucks’ lattes has to do with a secret ingredient: the semen of sodomites.

 “Oh, this is the absolute truth, and I believe that they were doing that.”

In his own words:

 “So my question is, where are they getting all this semen from? My suspicion is that they're getting this semen from sodomites. And somebody has discovered that semen, like cord blood, has the opportunity and it has millions and millions of little zygotes in it and it flavors up the coffee. And it makes you think you're having a good time drinking that cup of latte with the semen in it. I'm not making this up!”

No, Pastor Manning, you’re not making it up.  But the good folks at Huzlers.com, the humorous fake news site and source of your information, sure did.

I would like to believe that this latest folly would be enough to embarrass this supposed man of God and cause him to disappear from the homophobic landscape, but I’m not holding my breath. 

I imagine that Pastor Manning was so invigorated by all the attention garnered by his last diatribe against gays and Starbucks, that he Googled exactly that and stumbled upon Huzlers, falling for their bait hook, line, and sinker.

If Starbucks’ legal team has any time on their hands, I am thinking a nice little defamation lawsuit might be the thing to put an end to Pastor Manning, his supposed ‘Worldwide’ church, and all his hate-baiting rhetoric.

So, let’s all unpack our gear and cast our lines in the water as a means of saluting this week’s Turdscooter and our very first back-to-back winner, Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem New York. 







 










2 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

I'd like to piss in his starbucks cup one morning!

whkattk said...

I would love Starbucks to take him to court, take every dime he's got and give it away to LGBT organizations.