Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Rudy Giuliani
Turdscooter of the Week
This honor is long overdue. Mr. Giuliani (Who is, what? A former Mayor, occasional cross-dresser, and, now, marginal celebrity wannabe?) shoots off his mouth and Fox News is only too happy to lick the toe of his suede, thigh-high, fuchsia boots.
Rudy routinely makes the kind of headlines that make me sick to my stomach: sensational, narrow-minded sound bites broadcasting absolute garbage. Simply google this man and his habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time blazes forth with an obliviousness that is as calculated as it is idiotic. In terms of political stupidity, only Donald Trump rivals this man.
Last week, he questioned President Obama’s Christianity and his love of America. Is it just me, or would you agree that since a black man became President, the proverbial white gloves have come off in relation to treating that office with dignity and respect? It’s like open season.
Previously, Rudy ignited a shit storm when sharing his views about black on black crime and the racial make-up of police forces. He then accused President Obama and other black leaders of stoking the anti-police sentiment that has hit code red since the uprising in Ferguson, MO. He also intimated that teacher unions are to blame for violence in the black community.
The thing is: who the hell is Rudy Giuliani? How is he relevant?
Why should I care what comes out of his mouth?
Because news/talk shows need fodder and Rudy can be counted on to deliver something that pricks up the ears of liberals and reasonable, logical people. And – most importantly - he’s an easy guest to book.
Because the man has nothing else going on.
This is why I think he should consider, given his cross-dressing past, giving J. Edgar Hoover a run for his money, and take up drag full-time. Who knows? Maybe there would be a spot for him on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’?
Although, Ru tends to not take clowns seriously…
And, oh, yeah… Rudy boy is definitely that.
So, let’s all wrap a beaten feathered boa around our necks, put on a pair of hilariously oversized shoes, and paint our faces with a smile as a means of saluting Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week, royal ass-clown, Rudy Giuliani.