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2015/02/02

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week: A Plethora of Scooters


Wonderland Burlesque’s 
Turdscooters of the Week: 
A Plethora of Scooters

Lately, there have been so many possible Turdscooters in a given week that I found it difficult to single one out of the crowd, a situation that left me stymied and unable to pick one to write about.

That trend continues this week, so I’ve decided to give in and simply list all the contenders.

Mike Huckabee, would-be presidential hopeful and religious mucky muck, made the statement that legalizing gay marriage is a biblical issue.  He went on to say that gay marriage is offensive to Christians the same way dogs are offensive to Muslims and pork is offensive to people who are Jewish. 

Yeah, he… he really said that.

In other nonsensical uber-Christian news…

Donny Pauling Jr., from Sutter County in California and a former porn producer turned Christian anti-porn crusader, has been arrested for the second time since December for the sexual abuse of a minor.  Seems the man can’t keep his hands off the jailbait. 

The FRC’s Tony Perkins equated photos of gay people on Facebook to the persecution of Christians.

Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern (“the homosexual agenda is a bigger threat than terrorism”) introduced a trifecta of anti-gay legislation (No funds or services to support gay marriages, businesses have a right to refuse service, and parents can send their gay kids to a therapist to attempt to change their sexual orientation) in that state.  

She’s already had to withdraw one (businesses have a right to refuse…) because she claimed it would not accomplish what she intended.  She is also heartbroken that people are being all mean to her and saying nasty things about her god.

And, in some not so Christian news…

At an America’s Best Valu Inn in Albuquerque, NM, Justin Reynolds and his girlfriend, Monique Villescas were both injured by a single bullet shot from a handgun their three-year-old son found in his Mom’s purse.   

And, finally, for a little historical perspective…
…Ayn Rand was/is a ‘turrrrrible’ person. (Happy Birthday, ya stingy, old crow.)

Ah, yes.... so many to choose from.

And there were so many more.

But, these, these are the top of the crop, the pick of the litter, the miasma that floats on the horizon.

And, for them all, I say...

Razzleberries… razzleberries everyone!

2 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

these religious freaks need to STFU and keep their beliefs PRIVATE!

whkattk said...

Tough choice... Huckabee would be my pick if I thought he had any real influence.

I think I'd have to go with Perkins - mainly because he seems to have legislators in his pants, er, I mean pockets.