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Saturdays Should Always End With A Nice Relaxing Facial

Sometimes I like a challenge. I like to see how much I can cram into a single afternoon. There are days when I am much more successful than others, but even the failures can yield a good story. I’m going to tell it all to you, just because I think you really need to consider the logistics involved and how damn resourceful one has to be when hooking up outside the home.

I‘m hanging out at a coffee shop trolling on-line to see if I can find myself a little something-something. Guys are emailing me back and forth, but I’m not seeing a sure thing yet. Then two guys hit me up at the same time. One: medium height, with a nice, headless body pic sporting an 8.5 cut dick. No face pic. No problem. I like surprises. I read his profile and it seems like a match. Plus his first email to me is… “I want to pound your ass.” Ah, the direct approach… gets me every time. I don’t waste much time negotiating with him. He offers up his address and I’m figuring this is a slam dunk. The other guy; he takes a bit longer to get the point… but he does get there. Finally I mention that I’ve seen his profile on another site (a profile that is a lot more explicit about what he likes) and now that he knows I know a little bit about him, well, that seems to seal the deal. In his profile he claims to be a top and when I ask him what he’s in the mood for he tells me, “I want my dick sucked and then I want to fuck an ass with the guy on all fours”. Cool with me. This guy lives way out in some suburb I’d never been to, so once I Mapquest it I decide that logistically it makes more sense for me to begin with the headless photo dude first. I set up a time - an hour and a half later than the date I make with the first guy, figuring that should give me more than enough time.

In the meantime I get an email from a bud of mine who I have not seen in a while. We’ve been emailing back and forth trying to set up a time to play, but our schedules never jive. I distinctly remember telling him my Saturday afternoon would be free earlier in the week, but he has this tendency to wait until like 15 minutes before he wants me to be at his place to let me know he’s available. I don’t have a problem with that at all. A turn-on-a-dime booty call is a total turn on for me, but logistically? It rarely works. He emails me that he wants my ass. I am on my way out of the coffee shop when I get this email, so, I decide that he has had ample time to plan ahead, and that I shouldn’t change my plans, just because he suddenly decides he wants some. Do I sound like a chick? Yeah, maybe a big slutty chick with giant titties who really doesn’t give a fuck who does her. Anyway, I email him quickly that I might be available around 4 pm and he should get back to me and let me know if that works for him. I tell him I won’t be on line until 4:00 pm and that I’ll check around then.

So, that morning I did a thorough douche. This is successful only about 80% of the time. What I’m learning is that if you want to guarantee a really clean ass, you need to douche about 5 minutes before you get naked. Some places this is not a problem. I routinely will excuse myself and ask to use the restroom once I arrive somewhere. I usually ask upfront (pre-arrival) if it will be okay with my host if I use his bathroom. I don’t tell him why I need to use it, but I have feeling, if he’s been around, that he knows what’s going on. Of course, there are also some clueless wonders out there. One guy accused me of using his bathroom to shoot up drugs. Once I explained that what I was doing he apologized. Douching: can’t fuck without it and can’t seem to figure out a discreet way of doing it. What’s a fag to do?

In the event that I feel I have time enough, I will remain wherever I happen to be (coffee shop, restaurant, library, work, etc.) and douche before heading off for my play date. Today I’m feeling pressed for time, so I decide to risk it and just go for the gusto without bothering. Please note – this is never a good idea. But for once, my luck holds.

I arrive at destination number one a few minutes early. I check my bag for my usual supplies and double check the address. For some reason he didn’t give me the buzzer number for his apartment, but promises me that he will be looking for me. I pocket my supplies and head toward the front door of the building. Just as I am about to knock, the door opens and there he is, ushering me quickly and quietly inside.

The guy is short, young, stout and black (who knew?). He puts his index finger to his lips, indicating that I should not speak. Turns out dude has a boyfriend and a very nosy landlady. I comply and he ushers me into his apartment and shuts the door. He asks me if everything is cool and I shrug my shoulders and say, “sure”. I follow him to the back of the apartment to the bedroom. Since this guy seems to want to usher me about so much, from now on I’ll just refer to him as Usher.

Usher is a smart, determined little man. He has condoms, lube and poppers on a little shelf next to the bed. There’s an air of let’s-get-down-to-business permeating this play date, so I immediately strip and get on my knees. I am handsomely rewarded. Usher may be short, but in now way is he little. Nice, thick and juicy is more like it. With his track pants down around his ankles, his fingers are busy working his own nips as I grab my poppers, take a big hit. I take just the head of his dick into my mouth because I feel like teasing him a bit while I warm my mouth to the idea of deep throating the potential monster hanging before me.

I inch my mouth slowly up the shaft bit by bit, liberally coating it with saliva as I go. His dick responds nicely. If it seemed thick upon first glance, it is not long before I realize it is going to be positively hole-splitting once I get him up. Usher starts talking under his breath, asking me if I like that big black dick and encouraging me with, “Come on, bitch, suck that dick.” Well, you don’t need to ask me twice. I’ve only got half of him in my mouth when he starts calling me a bitch and that just makes me… well, very hungry. I open wide and let that fucker slide down my throat and don’t stop until my lips land firmly at its base. I pause. A lovely, light funk fills up my nostrils. It is earthy, manly and deep, with just a trace of sweetness. I linger, wanting to know what’s next. He tells me in short order. He starts skull fucking my face, deep and hard, forcing my head up and down the length of his shaft. The man having way too much fun – way too much.

Dude shoots his load. Boom! It is hot, sweet and tasty coursing down the back of my throat. Surprise!

I’m thinking – Oh well… Next!

But it is clear that Usher is not done with me. He continues working his dick up and down my throat telling me to choke on it.

Then, suddenly, he eases up, removes his sweatshirt and lies back on the bed. “Bitch, work those ball with your mouth”. Yes, sir! I move into place and steal another hit of poppers. Giving a dude’s balls a tongue bath is not always my favorite thing in the world, but I am really inspired at the moment and feeling like a total pig bitch, so I comply. His sack is fat and heavy, with a nice pair riding inside. Taking my time, I lick tentatively before going whole hog – taking one nut in my mouth at a time, swirling it around and then moving over to the other. Usher is loving it. He’s working his nips like they are controls to a video game. Finally I manage to get both his nuts in my mouth at the same time. Then I do one of my favorite things – I clamp down my lips under the base of his dick and I pull back just the tiniest bit. Everything becomes so snug and tight – this little trick usually gets one of two reactions – the really sensitive ones freak and the game ends, while the guys who love a little CBT make the most delightful noises. Usher belongs to the latter camp and the words coming out of his mouth are nothing you are likely to hear in polite company, but music to my ears. As intense as his language has become, Usher is still using a hushed tone. I suspect he thinks his landlady will tell on him, so he wants to play it super discreet. Part of me is hoping the bf is hiding in a closet watching, but I check later, and no such luck.

My little clamp down has had quite an effect and after ten more minutes of playing ball, Usher is now ready to fuck. How do I know this? Because he pulls me onto the bed and tells me to “get that ass in the air, cunt.” Normally, I take exception to the ‘C’ word, but Usher is working my fuck-me nerve like nobody’s business. I think it has something to do with his height. Napoleon Complex? Then what exactly is my complex? I am always drawn to bossy, short men who like to give orders… oh, just make that all men who give orders.

Usher positions me into place. I face the head of the bed, on all fours with my ass in air. I take a hit of poppers and prepare myself for a full out assault. Usher’s messing with getting the condom out of the wrapper, so I whip around, take it out of his hands, open it, remove the condom and roll it on his fuck stick. For good measure, I take his encased dick in my mouth – it’s my way of saying good-bye to the object of my oral fixation. I turn around and resume my position, telling Usher in as quiet and ominous voice as I can muster to “go slow”.

He listens (yay!) and enters like a pro, using plenty of lube. His dick is fat and thick and I am loving it. That slow glide in makes me absolutely giddy. Finally, he comes to rest against the cheeks of my ass. Then he flexes his dick inside me. Fuuuuuuck…. Okay, dude can have and do whatever he wants.

And he does want it. Bad. Oh, how I love second helpings!

He pushes his dick even further into me, pressing my face into the pillow, which I throw onto the floor immediately. I know myself all too well and Usher and his boyfriend do not need me drooling all over their pillow cases. I spend the next 20 minutes having my ass pummeled. I am twisted this way and that way (almost always ending up with my face pushed down and forward – Usher is not in love with me, he does not want to kiss me and apparently is not all that fond of my face). I am also called (along with my body parts) all sorts of lovely, filthy names.

However, there seems to be no end in sight, I am about to tell Usher to give up. That obviously that second load is not forthcoming, when he changes up his game. He makes me lay face down on the bed, flat. I reach for the poppers and take a hit. Usher slips his dick inside my still vibrating ass and lies down on top of me. I feel his whole weight. He then begins the slowest most sensual fuck, breathing deep into my ear. I abandon all plans of exiting prematurely. This is a lovely ride. I start to ungulate my ass in time with his slow thrusts, squeezing the ring of my ass as his dick slowly winds in and out. He takes the back of my hands in his and pins my arms down over my head. His sweat warms my back and the slight funk of our combined sweat makes for a heady combination. We work one another like this for another twenty minutes.

And then he stops. Dead still.

And he shoots, allowing his jizz to pulse out on its own volition. This is an incredible feeling. Every flex and throb registers in the nerve center that is my ass.

It’s all very sweet. He collapses on top of me, with his dick still in my ass. It feels so good. I am no where near ready to come and decide to save my load for bachelor number two. After a bit, he hauls himself off of me. I remove the condom and inspect the load and then proceed to take his still hard dick in my mouth. After paying his balls their due respect, I clean up quickly and make a fast exit. All the while my hole is actually tingling like it is alive with fairy dust. We pay lip service to doing it again some time (and we do) and I exit.

And I’m late. Already, fucking late. And I really only have the vaguest notion about where this next guy is located.

Panicked in the car, I overshoot my destination many, many miles and just happen to find the side road I was looking for by chance as I’m driving back home. I’m over a half hour late, but I figure, what the hell, might as well give it a shot. The dude can only say ‘no’.

I park and run into the lobby of his apartment building. He answers almost immediately. I apologize. He says no problem and buzzes me in. Riding up in the elevator I grow concerned – usually after such a fierce fucking, as the one I’d just had, I need a little powder room time. However, once I walk into the apartment, something tells me that won’t be necessary. Turns out this party started without me. My eyes do a quick scan of the living room. He has a blanket laid out in the middle of the floor. Lying about it are a neck rest, a full length mirror, lube, poppers and a couple of toys. The mirror is resting sideways along the bottom of a flat screen on which plays some generic leather porn. The toys bother me for a moment - I’m not one to play with toys – but then it occurs to me that the toys aren’t necessarily for my ass and that in all likelihood I won’t be the one taking it up the ass here. Not a problem, after all, I am flexible and an equal opportunity enjoyer.

We make small talk, mostly about my getting lost and being late as I take off my clothes. This gives me ample time to check him out. The only items he is wearing are a gym issue jock strap and a studded, leather harness. He’s one of those small, hard-bodied, no-body-fat types rocking a killer six pack. Completely hairless, except for a mop of blonde on the top of his head, I decide he’s very cute and very muscular. I take note of his cute little ass as he leads me into the living room where he lays back on the blanket and places the neck support pillow under his head. I crawl over between his legs and take the mesh bag of his jock into my mouth. Very fresh. I reach up, grab the poppers and take a long hit. Then I get nice and comfy with his jock, licking his dick through the cloth pouch. Eventually I slip his cock and balls out of the pouch. He is definitely enjoying what I’m doing, but I can’t help but notice he’s not getting hard. Not that his dick is the seventh wonder of the world, but I’m no size queen. I like any dick – so long as it gets hard. So, off I go in search of what it is I need to do to get a little reaction. I flip his legs up and work my mouth to his hairless hole.

Very sweet, very clean. Such a limber little dude. Every time I suck deep on his pucker he moans in appreciation, so I really start to get into deep tonguing him, getting him nice and wet in the process. I take my time with it, checking myself out in the mirror the whole while. From there, it seems only logical that the next thing on the menu to tackle is for me to fuck him. So I do. I love fucking dudes who are smaller in stature than me. There is just so much flexibility involved, moving them about, and I love the power rush that comes from being dominant. With him wearing that harness, I just figure I can get about as nasty as I want to. At first I just tease his hole with my dick, rubbing it, pushing against it, testing it.

The lube is in easy reach, so once I check in with him to see if he’s up for it, I work a gob into his hole. He really gets off on my finger work, which gives me pause and makes me wonder if he’s into fisting – not my thing, but I do like fingering a hot ass. I manage to get four fingers up his ass before I switch tactics and decide to really show him what that hole is made for. The mirror proves to be a real added bonus – because there is nothing I like better than watching my dick slide in and out of the sweet pucker of some muscled dude. I grab him by his harness and pull his body onto my dick. Changing up the tempo and intensity, I keep pulling out completely on occasion, so that I don’t blow my load early. In between fuck periods, I slide up beside him and kiss him deep, allowing my hands to run all over his tight little body. It’s during one of these breaks that he mentions that he has a roommate that will probably need to come out and use the bathroom at some point. I tell him that’s no problem – the idea of being watched is always kind of a turn on for me. So, I decide it’s Showtime!

Putting him on all fours, I hold him by his shoulders and pull him onto my dick – at first slowly – watching his hole open up for each entrance and exit of my dick. Then I rapid-fire his ass, slamming into him with all the brute force I can muster. The sheer sound of it smacks its way throughout the apartment. That’s when I think I hear a door open. The idea of this totally unknown person watching my ass flex as I fuck his roomie makes me go into overdrive. Soon there is no holding back and I decided to just let nature take its course. After the first spurt, I hold him tight and still, so we can both enjoy the spasms of my throbbing cock. Then for good measure, once my dick had ceased firing, I pick up where I left off and jackhammer the little dude for all he’s worth.

He never does get it up or off, for that matter. He also spent most of the session on his back, with me doing most of the work, and then totally failed to deliver on his promise to use my ass. I could be a bit pissed off about the whole thing, but he’s cute. And he was okay with me being so tardy. And he made a serviceable bottom. So I get over myself quick. Having spent over an hour playing with him, I decide that I’ve done my duty and that if he wants to get off he will have to take care of that on his own.

He hands me a nice towel to dry off with. We are both drenched in sweat. We makes small talk and I apologize (yet again) for being so late. I give him a quick peck on the mouth and make my exit.

Back in the car, I take a look at my cell. There are three text messages from my other bud near uptown. I think what the fuck… might as well see what’s up. He tells me he is… up and hard as a rock. I pause for a moment and think. You see… nice thing about this dude is that he’s all business and terribly consistent: I arrive, get on my knees, and suck on him. He then turns me around and pounds my ass silly until he’s ready to shoot. Just before he does, he turns me around again, forces me to my knees and shoots his creamy load on my face. In and out in 20 minutes. No drama.

After all I’ve been through today the idea of a nice, fast facial sounds downright relaxing.

“Can you hold off for another 30 minutes?” I ask him.

He says, “Sure. Hurry the fuck up.”

Ahhh, a man giving me orders. How can I refuse?

Now, if I can just figure out where to stop off for a quick douche…

Thank God for fast food restaurants!

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