TMI Questions: I’m Falling For You

‘Autumn Leaves’ is a terrific/awful movie starring Joan Crawford and a crazy-eyed Cliff Robertson.  It’s Joan at her very best… and her very worst.  I urge you to seek it out.  Both Vera Miles and Ruth Donnelly have quite nice turns in it, too. The theme song is a classic.  This time of year I always haul out that sheet music and plunder away at the keys. It never fails to put me in the mood for fall (and make me feel like Liberace). 

In my eyes, the season, like the movie, is a tad maudlin. Each year, as fall approaches, I go into this weird state of mourning.  Yes, losing summer is as hard on me as Cliff’s brand of crazy is on poor, old Joan.  No, the season has never backhanded me across the face (who knows, maybe I’d like that sort of thing), but it is not without its bittersweet sting.

TMI Questions: I’m Falling For You

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

I’m Falling For You

How does Fall rank on your list of favorite seasons?

It comes in third. 

Here, in Minnesota, we have highly-defined seasons and having lived here, on and off, for most of my life, I’ve definitely developed an opinion and attitude toward each one.

Summer is my number one, because of the sun, wearing as little clothing as possible, getting naked, going camping, hiking, and the joy of working up a sweat in the great outdoors.

Spring is my number two, because of the reawakening of Mother Nature, rebirth, new birth, gardening, the return of migrating birds - signaling the end of winter, and the promise of summer.  It’s like one long period of anticipation which sometimes feels like an endless tease.

Autumn comes in third.  It’s a season of lingering.  Frequently, in Minnesota, we will have a brilliant, extended fall that deeply mirrors the intensity of our summer.  Other years it is all a sodden-mess up until the temps hit the freezing point and that sodden-mess becomes frozen tundra.  But there is also that one week when the leaves are so colorful it’s like living in a Technicolor world. 

It is also the beginning of my period of mourning. 

That whole myth about Persephone and Hades?  The one where she eats the six pomegranate seeds, and thus ends up putting her mother, Demeter, into a six month depression-induced coma each year? 

Yeah.  Me and Demeter. 

Same thing happens to me.

What are your favorite fall fashions?

A light-weight, black, pea coat-style jacket.

I like light-weight sweaters, typically without any images or patterns.  Neither the bottom of the sleeves or the bottom of the sweater should have cuffs or be gathered.  I like ‘em boxy.  The darker the better.  Proper sleeve length is important.  I also like form fitting, long-sleeved cotton sweaters with a single horizontal stripe across the chest.   

I have a pair of black leather gloves I like to wear. They fit… like a glove.

Love wearing long john shirts (also known as long-sleeved, waffle crews).  Plain color.  Darker the better (I consider dark navy blue festive).  Cotton is a must.

And when it gets really chilly, I love to slip into a pair of long johns.  I think they are sexy.  I love the crotch.  I love the clingy butt.  They are sort of like not-uncool-to-wear male tights.

And now onto… those things I hate.

Big bulky sweaters that make you look like you have been swallowed by an ambitious caterpillar.

Uggs (Ugh).

Gay men who wear light-winter wool scarves with fringe indoors because they think it is a fashion statement.

Camo or Camouflage- patterned ANYTHING. (Only appropriate if you are on active duty and in combat-mode.)

Hunters orange ANYTHING. (Only appropriate if you are directing traffic or repaving a freeway.)

Sweat shirts with loons on them.  (Never appropriate)

Turtle necks.

Wool.

What are your favorite fall foods?

Gourd me! (Please?)

Love squash.  Squash soup.

Love pumpkin pie as long as it is not full of sugar and over spiced.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday, but now that I don’t eat turkey… This will be my first year sans bird.  Well, at least there is stuffing – vegan-style.  

Mashed potatoes.

I tend to love fall because I get to start using my oven again.  Love to bake stuff.  I don’t eat most of it (that’s what friends, family, and people at work are for).  This year will find me switching over to whole grain wheat and other grains.  Should be… interesting. 

Oh, and just so you don’t get the wrong impression… I am a terrible baker; disorganized, messy, frequently distracted.  I like the idea of baking, but lack the skills to be successful at it. 

Which might explain why I have so few friends at work and so few friends left!  (Want a cookie?).

Have you ever fallen and couldn't get up?

Oh, ha, ha.  I misread it and thought the word ‘it’ was between the words ‘get’ and ‘up’.  My bad. Sigh.

Physically: That mountain biking accident (where I broke my neck in two places).  I have no idea how long I was out for the count.  I wrote a post about it shortly after it happened.  It’s in the archives.

Spiritually: No. Though I do get discouraged.  1996 was a really, really rough year.  And this summer, from May until Mid-August, threatened to match that level of despair.  But in both cases, I managed.

I look back at 1996 and wonder how the hell I ever managed, but it was like a part of my brain shut down and all I could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other – my coping method of choice in order to trudge through it.  The source of that strength?  Honestly, I think it was a real healthy (and necessary) case of total denial. 

In both instances, the outcomes predicted by the professionals I had surrounded myself  with pretty dire. But I simply refused to accept that what they had to say as the final word.  So, in such times, I have this tendency to shrink my world and retreat, I guess, in order to manufacture a little (false) hope. 

Sure, there were moments when I would be alone and I would just lose it, but small tasks, like keeping appointments, meeting deadlines, and grocery shopping really can help one power through anything.  It’s a matter of limiting one’s focus – this is what I can do, rather than trying to influence or mourn the things I could not.

My most recent troubles have caused me to question the whole concept of ‘God’.  For many years I have believed in a universal energy that we all contribute to and are nourished by, but due to my dabbling in Catholicism (yet, again), I struggle with accepting the church’s version of things. 

Honestly?  Sometimes I think, if there is a God, than he is a total dick.

Fall is the start of the new TV season, which show are you most anticipating?

‘The Mindy Project’ has already kicked off and continues to find its footing.  Ms. Kaling is a pure comic treasure.  I remain intrigued.

‘American Horror Story: Coven’ is to begin soon.  I can’t wait.  Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Angela Basset, Patti LuPone… I mean, come on; it’s a diva-loving gay guy’s wet dream team.

I’ll be watching ‘The Middle’ and ‘Bob’s Burgers’.  Probably ‘Suburgatory’, ‘Raising Hope’, and ‘New Girl’. 

Otherwise, there is nothing new that has piqued my interest. 

My latest idea is to get rid of satellite and just stream NetFlix.  I would save $800 a year. Hmmm.   Can I wait a whole season and then catch up in the winter months?

Can I risk not seeing all those commercials?  Some of that stuff is highly culturally significant.

Ah, the debate continues…

(Really?  This is my life?)

What fall activities, such as apple picking, hiking, foliage trips, do you enjoy or plan on doing?

Hiking.  I am already taking mental notes about which trees are turning first, the effect our lack of rainfall has had on underbrush, and the burrowing habits of field mice and moles.  Yes, the change in season brings out the nature nerd in me.  I love every moss covered surface, every drying milkweed, every wetland Aves/Neosmithe formation that graces the sky.

I like burning things this time of year.  This year I will concentrate on small twigs and wood in a fire pit in my backyard (and leave my neighbor’s houses alone).

I like to take a road trip one weekend to go to Duluth, MN and look at the fall colors.

But my favorite fall activity is: throwing stuff away.  I just completed my bathroom and got rid of things that had expired or that I had hung onto for years without ever using. 

Next up: My closet which is full of dress clothes I no longer feel the need to wear (over forty dress shirts!).  My rule:  haven’t worn it in a year?  Out it goes. 

Then the music room is after that.  That room will prove to be the most difficult because I always get lost in memories.  Also, there was a time (now, past) when being a completist was of great importance to me.  For example (and this is just one of many), I have every – and I mean every - CD that Gary Numan has ever put out. 

Yes.  Gary Numan. 

No, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me.

Curse you, Ebay.

Halloween is __________.

Sexy fun?  Or it would be if all the drunken breeders would stay home or get a clue.  Personally, I am tired of sexy kitties unless they are young Asian men being ironic. 

The thought of going out in public on the actual night of Halloween and hanging out at a bar?  About as inviting as having a drunken ninja turtle vomit on your shoes (true story!). 

My favorite costume-wearing folk have long been that lone man staggering through the gay bar who, at the age of fifty-something or other, finally worked up the courage to go out in public in drag to see if he can ‘pass’.  The results are almost always tragic (he writes as he contemplates, yet, again, whether this will be the year.)

As for Halloween being for the kids… I dislike children.  The last year I gave out candy was 1999.  At about 8:00 pm, a trio of adolescent boys showed up on my door step, sans costumes.  I gave them candy, which they threw back at me, informing me they didn’t want candy, they wanted money.  I slammed that door so fast, I bet their faces are still smarting. And since that night, that door has never re-opened for Halloween. 

I also fenced my yard and put locks on the gates. 

Stupid kids.

Do you dress up for Halloween?

We have a yearly work function (think: bowel movement).  

Last year I went as a bag of leaves.  In Minneapolis, all lawn and leaf refuse must be put in giant paper bags.  I cut a hole in the bottom of the bag for my head, and two on the sides for my arms, turned it upside down, and slithered inside.  Then I made, cut-out, and pasted giant paper autumn leaves all over my bag.  I walked around with a giant leaf rake decorated with more paper leaves.  There was also a leaf themed-hat, but, honestly… I have done all I can to blank out of the memory of it.

Last year a friend also dragged me to The Eagle for happy hour, where, I guess, they celebrate Halloween for the entire week.  I wore my fuck-me boots (a really kick-ass pair of  mid-thigh Rockports), black, tight skinny jeans, and a tight tee (My Piggly Wiggly shirt) .  I ended up arm wrestling the cutest little muscle stud.  I told him if I won, I’d have to fuck him in front of everyone at the bar.  

So, maybe he lost on purpose.  

Do you have daylight savings time where you live?

Yeah.  Why is that still a thing?  Real farmers are fewer and fewer now.  I actually like driving to work in the dark in winter and with the sun in summer.  And when they change the hour, it really doesn’t seem to make that much difference.  So, why bother?

Though I do like the fact that it happens Saturday night / Sunday morning.  Saturday night gives you an excuse to stay up later or party harder and then skip out on going to church the next morning because… hey, it was daylight savings… and I, uh, forgot. 

Thanksgiving is __________.

Thanksgiving is was my favorite holiday.  I don’t eat red meat anymore, so turkey is not on the table this year.  I’m still doing fish and seafood, so perhaps some nice salmon will do the trick.

I had Thanksgiving at my house way back in 1998.  It remains one of my favorite memories.  My little tiny house crammed with children (my nieces and nephews were munchkins back then) and my three sisters (the eldest was still tolerating my presence in those days), my Mom and Dad (Dad was still walking and tracking things in those days), and my baby Beau underfoot. 

I am glad I did it, when I did it.  It was hectic and fun-filled and I loved planning and executing it (even cleaning up).  It was the last thanksgiving we were all together.  Now, it is typically only my Mom and Dad and me. 

My other favorite Thanksgiving memory is of my second Thanksgiving in L.A, back in 1995.  I invited my most recent ex (a new-age, back-to-nature guru-type whose latest book I had attempted to edit – or butcher, depending on your POV), and  a female film director who was working with Roger Corman, among others.  There were lots of complaints (apparently my take on Thanksgiving was too Midwestern) and we all ended up in an argument about Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston and whether they were suffering from significant vocal damage – which I felt was the case (and time would prove me right), while the other two thought I was full of shit.  After everyone was gone and I was left to wash the dishes by myself, I thought I would probably have had a better time by myself, sitting in the dark and getting drunk. 

Ummm… why is this my other favorite Thanksgiving memory?

What's your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Squash.  Squash Soup.  Vegan Stuffing.  Mashed Potatoes.

I dislike what people do to green beans at that time of year. 

And pasta has no place at Thanksgiving. 

And stop thinking up new things to do with Cool Whip.  Please.  For the sake of the children.  Won’t someone think of the children?

Stupid kids.

 

Bonus

Do you FALL asleep after sex? Have you FALLEN out of bed while having sex?

I only remember falling asleep once after sex. 

It was after a marathon session, fueled by a lot of poppers and a little, ummm… weed.  It was crazy, bouncy-town sex on a leather-sheeted king-sized bed.  We flip-flopped about a dozen times, everything was in constant motion, and we were both horny, panting, greedy, sweat balls.  Our dicks went in every orifice available.  And what our dicks wouldn’t fit in, our tongues did!  I came three times.  The intensity and energy never let up… until it did and we both fell into this sleep-coma for two hours.  When we woke up, we were stuck to each other due to a combination of cum, spit, and dried sweat.  Mmmm.

Of course we never saw each other again.

Fallen out of bed while having sex?  Who hasn’t?  If you haven’t, then you aren’t doing it right.  There is no shame in it.  It shows that you’re making an effort.  It shows that you are thinking outside the box. 

It shows up a day later in the form of some nice bruises. 

Think of them as souvenirs, or red (purple) badges of courage!

 

State of the Tube: Television 2012-13

Is he really going to write about television, again?  Yes, he’s really going to write about television… again. This is what happens during winter here, in Minnesota.  Those of us who don’t snowmobile, cross-country ski, downhill ski, ice skate, ice fish, play hockey, or participate in any indoor group sporting activities sit on our asses and watch television.  That said – sitting remains the second favorite thing I like to do with my butt (which might help explain my ever deflating ass).

As of this writing?  34 days and counting until April 1^st.  Spring cannot get here any too soon.

Yes, I continue to watch too much television.  And that’s bad, mmm’kay?  I compensate for my boob tube obsession by having less than five drinks a month, watching my diet, and hitting the gym for at least one hour-five days a week.  As for my brain, I do crossword puzzled (badly), write (badly), do research, and read the occasional book.  I just started reading a new book.  I figure to have it completely read in about six months (yes, I am sloooooowwwww).   During that same six months I will have consumed at least 500 hours of television.  Yep, that’s averaging 3 hours per day. 

Now, granted, a good portion of that is spent watching the same episodes of The Simpsons, Family Guy, and The Big Bang Theory that I have seen at least five times each.  Seriously.  Sometimes they play in the background as I surf the web, but they are on all the time (syndication / TBS / Cartoon Network).   And if there is nothing else worthwhile (does that adjective apply to ANY television programming?) on, I will find one of those stations that plays the latter two shows mentioned ad nauseam and tune in (or out, depending on your point of view). 

Oh, and confession time… the real reason I wanted to write about television?  So that I could post pics of the hottest men on television.  When possible I tried to find pics without shirts… but, honestly, some of them really should keep their shirts on.  I mean, I find them hot, and would love to get naked with them, but some are not take-your-shirt-off-in-public hot, if you know what I mean.

For better or worse, here is a brief summary of the hours and hours spent NOT watching The Simpsons, Family Guy, and The Big Bang Theory:

Things I Watched:

American Horror Story: Asylum

 Hmmm. I lost interest mid-season, but then came back for the final three episodes.  To be honest, the moment the aliens landed, I bailed.  Like that was necessary?  Really?  What with demons, Catholicism, a corrupt insane asylum, a guilt-ridden nun, a Nazi war criminal performing biological experiments on the patients and creating his very own Island of Dr. Mureau, a lesbian reporter being held against her will, to say nothing about the multiple serial killers running about (Santa, Bloody Face, Bloody Face the Sequel) – did we really need to go… there?  Oh, and I forgot the angel of death in the form of Francis Conroy – beautiful, but under-utilized. 

Okay… let’s face it, there was a lot going on in this show.  It was the horror television equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting.  I mean, splat – let’s have an exorcism,  splat – let’s turn the tables on Jessica Lange, splat- let’s bring back Dylan McDermott and have him chase around and kill that dude from Maroon 5 (something I would not be totally against). 

Bottom Line:  Okay, so here is the surprising thing.  I just checked out a list of all the episodes and guess what – I never missed any.  It just felt like I did.  That demonstrates just how much they crammed into this season.  Did I like it?  Probably.  I guess I am now plot weary where this series is concerned.  Will I watch next season?  Probably.  But I really am plot weary.   And I must confess; there was one thing they didn’t put in this season that they should have – and that would be more male butt.  Seriously missed Dylan’s buns, man.  Those motherfuckers really should be given their own series.

Suburgatory

I continue to enjoy this show.  But something is amiss.  While I am enjoying the romance between Tess and Ryan (which may be coming to an end, because there is no such thing as a three-day away game), I am not enjoying George’s current fling with Dallas.  Dallas is too out there, too surreal, and makes George look and seem like a stupid monkey man.  Which is a shame, because George is so hot.  It’s not working.  I continue to like the Shay’s.  And, as I suspected, they have regulated Mr. Wolfe to gay cliché’ land.   But Carly Chaikin as Dalia Oprah Royce remains a national treasure.  Nobody can deadpan like that be-yotch.

Bottom line: The show has lost it satiric focus.  It now seems content to make all the characters whacky as hell and that… is sad; because without the heart and critical eye, it just ain’t very interesting, y’all.

Happy Endings

So, last year, this was the one I thought would be this year’s runaway hit.  But they got screwed on their time slot and I also feel like no one is minding the children.  Remember that intoxicating high the casts’ banter gave me during their first season?  Yeah, well, now it comes off as shrill, desperate, and unpleasant.  In fact, I can honestly say that I do not like ANY of the main characters any more. They are awful, stupid, selfish, self-absorbed people.  It took me several seasons of Seinfeld to reach that same conclusion; this show managed to do that within three episodes of their second season. 

Bottom Line:  I gave up.  I surrendered.  If I want to feel the way this show makes me feel I will just huff some spray paint, rub my skin with a brillo pad, and stick my head in a blender.   Which is a damn shame, because the show has one of the few gay characters that I approve of and like.

Community

Wore out its welcome with one, too many, really, really ‘special’ episodes.  A damn shame.  There were some talented folks involved here.  But you can only fuck with the reality of a sitcom for so long before people stop watching.

Parks and Recreation

This has become one of the most enjoyable shows on television.  I love the cast, and the addition of Lucy Lawless hit just the right mark.  Best ensemble on television.  Incredible writing.

30 Rock

Fading away right on schedule.  It’s over.  And this season has proven that.  Plays well in syndication; though it will not be added to my The Simpsons, Family Guy, and The Big Bang Theory shows-in-syndication trifecta.

Bob’s Burger

The best animated series out there right now.  I love the characters and the writing is spot on.  I have yet to walk away disappointed.  The kids remain a major highlight, with Tina coming into her own this season, but the adults have grown on me a lot, especially Linda, Bob’s musical-theatre, life’s a party, nerd wife.  She’s a hoot. 

Raising Hope

So, Sabrina and Jimmy got married.  And this season there has been a lot more ‘My Name is Earl’ winky-winks.  Burt and Virginia remain reliable and enjoyable and Cloris Leachman continues to steal the show when allowed.   A likeable cast.  A likeable show.  So… why do I want more of… something?  I can’t even put my finger on it, but I think it has to do with character development.  I want to learn more about their lives and could do without all the whacky plots. 

Cougar Town

Yay… it came back (TBS).  And it is still firing on all cylinders, getting great mileage out of what worked the first time around.  It will go down in history as one of the worst titled series of all time, but other than that… what’s not to like? Lots of sexy men.  I even find the sexy in Bob Clendenin.  This season we have been privy to a lot of past history stuff, which has helped add dimension to the characters.  They so zany!  They so wealthy.  They so white!  So, I am waiting for a bit more reality to seep its way in, but otherwise, dive in, the water is fine.

The Middle

If Raising Hope is My Name is Earl, then The Middle continues to be Malcolm in The Middle.  But those were great shows and so are these.  The Middle may actually be the best show on television!  It is really well-written and the cast seems to have found their stride.  Sure, Patricia Heaton remains less than convincing at times (she’s a sitcom veteran, and it, unfortunately, shows) – but the cast has found a way of making her stagey/stiltedness work.  This season?  I am fascinated with Sue Heck and her new, budding romance.  Eden Sher is a knock-out performer.  Credit the writers for finally giving her more to do than pratfalls.  Neil Flynn and Charlie McDermott are also standouts.

P.S. – Where’s Chris Kattan?  I know she doesn’t work at the car dealership anymore, but – he was pretty involved with the family.

New Girl

I still hate Zooey Deschanel.  Watch her closely: she cannot deliver a single line without pausing in the middle of it and checking herself to make sure she’s being ‘quirky’ enough.  Or maybe she’s just a horrible actress.  The rest of the cast is first rate.  The writing has greatly improved.  This replaced Happy Endings in my viewing schedule.  And no one is more surprised than ‘moi’.

The Mindy Project

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW?  WHY IS IT MY FAVORITE SHOW?  WHO THE HELL KEEPS DRESSING MINDY IN SUCH A CLUELESS MANNER?  FIRE THAT STYLIST.  THEY MAKE HER LOOK LIKE SHE IS A 400 POUND DRAG QUEEN. WHY DID I WRITE THIS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS?  BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST/WORST SHOW EVER.  And I really like the cast.  And I want it to succeed.  Because two of the men on the show are really hot.  And I want to have their babies.

Left Behind (or Below):

South Park

Awkward

Workaholics

The Walking Dead

The Fashion Police

The Soup

Tosh2.0

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Things I was ‘Supposed To’ Watch, Which Made me ‘Not Wanna’:

Breaking Bad

Downtown Abbey

Mad Men

The Romance Is Now Over Award:

Modern Family

The groove they are in is so deep it is now officially a rut.  Sure, Phil is still good for a goofy laugh or two, but the rest?   Claire bounces between being shrill and being stupid.  Gloria flits between being shrill and a horrible racial stereotype (making fun of ‘thee Eeeeng-lesh’ is only funny so long).  Jay is a curmudgeon with a heart of gold (blech) and Cam and Mitch seem trapped in a ‘gay is cute’ cliché.  Cam, in particular, needs a good kick.  Putting him in a ‘Cats’ costume?  And then having him sit in a tree?  OH… I get it now.  Oh, Lucy, you so funny!  At least the kids are interesting.  Kudos to Lily, Manny, Luke and Alex.

Currently, the writers seem content to present these characters as one-dimensional beings – which is the height of laziness.  Take some god damn risks!   This is the only half-hour sitcom that feels likeit’s an hour long – and not in a good way.  That said, I really like the French Bulldog.  That dog should get a lot more camera time.

The Romance Is Still Over Award:

How I Met Your Mother

Have baby.  Baby go boom-boom.  Show go belly up in the water.   Robin and Doogie Howser are getting married.  Ted is about to meet ‘Your Mother’- finally (although I bet they drag that whole thing out for two more seasons – and then the actual courtship and wedding for two more ).  And I do not care anymore.  I don’t like anyone on the show anymore.  I don’t care about them.  Blech.  Hate this show.  It’s Friends, without the good common sense to go off the air.

Is This Still a Thing? Award:

Two Broke Girls

Whitney

 Do I even have to explain why?

Should Never Have Been a Thing Award:

The New Normal

Partners

To be fair, one (Normal) tried a lot harder than the other.  Normal at least attempted to bring homophobia to the foreground in the form of a really-in-fine-form Ellen Barkin.  But for every one step forward the writers seem to take, they take at least two steps back.  Not helping?  Justin Bartha’s and

Andrew Rannells’ portrayals.  Do these two even know a real gay person?  Could someone please inform them that it is not 1982 and they don’t need to ‘act’ that way to be considered ‘gay’?

But as bad as The New Normal is, Partners seems trapped in its own particular brand of sitcom hell.  Again, what year is it?  And how are these even remotely believable, ‘funny’ portrayals of gay people?  Sorry , this is nothing more than a gay minstrel show and should really be outlawed.

Can’t Seem To Watch You… At All:

Up All Night

I really tried this year.  I caught like five episodes.  I hate babies.  I hate sitcoms about how difficult it is to be a parent.  I do not relate.  I like everyone in the cast.   I do not like this show.  I will not be watching this show any more. 

It’s The Same Old Song Award:

The Simpsons

Family Guy

I keep waiting for the episode where Grandpa Simpson is a robot.

A Horrible, Horrible Song that Someone Must Put an End to Soon Award:

The Cleveland Show

Could the writers of this show get any lazier?  I have watched three episodes recently and been appalled by the lack of a basic original thought or idea.  They now seem to get by doing riffs on old movies and having fun with history.  The worst?  An episode where - I guess - I mean, I couldn’t really tell what the intention was, but they kept dropping the characters in different racial cultures, or something.  It was just awful; painful to watch.  And offensive on a levels not even achieved by Family Guy. 

It’s as if the writers no longer want jobs.  As if they are trying to kill the show on purpose because they, too, hate it.  If that is the case, please, by all means, let them succeed.

Thing I Watch that I Will NOT Admit I Watch:

Judge Judy

I LOVE HER.

She should run the world (and knock some sense into it).

I Miss…

Jeffery & Cole Casserole

Logo, do the world a favor and put this back on the air.  I know it ended in 2010, but it was brilliant, refreshing, never boring, cheap to make, and oh-so-fucking-hilarious.  I miss these kids.  I really do.

That’s a Wrap…

There’s a lot I don’t/won’t watch.  So if your favorite isn’t here (RuPaul’s Drag Race, anyone?), sorry.  I can only consume so much television.

I wish that were true of food.