Weekend Onesie: Happy (?) Easter

Weekend Onesie

Happy (?) Easter

This photo perfectly captures the diametrical nature of Easter.

It's a strange marriage, an uneasy alliance not unlike the one for the Xmas season.

The myth of the Easter Bunny juxtaposed atop the myth of Jesus Christ's death and resurrection.

That's a lot to unpack.

First the fun stuff...

The Easter Bunny

Wikipedia
Originating among German Lutherans, the 'Easter Hare' originally played the role of a judge, evaluating whether children were good or disobedient in behavior at the start of the season of Eastertide, similar to the naughty or nice list made by Santa Claus. As part of the legend, the creature carries colored eggs in its basket, as well as candy, and sometimes toys, to the homes of children. As such, the Easter Bunny again shows similarities to Santa (or the Christkind) and Christmas by bringing gifts to children on the night before a holiday. 

Easter Eggs

Wikipedia
Eggs have been used as fertility symbols since antiquity. They became a symbol in Christianity associated with rebirth as early as the 1st century AD, via the iconography of the Phoenix egg, and became associated with Easter in medieval Europe, when eating them was prohibited during the fast of Lent. A common practice in England at that time was for children to go door-to-door begging for eggs on the Saturday before Lent began. People handed out eggs as special treats for children prior to their fast. Later, German Protestants retained the custom of eating colored eggs for Easter, though they did not continue the tradition of fasting.

And then, that other myth...

Well, to be honest? I've lost any and all passion for telling that story.

Look, if you need to believe in such things in order to cope? You do you.

For me? It confused and veiled real issues. All that energy? Time? Money? To feel worse about yourself? The guilt. The drama. 

I think people get swept up in the pageantry of it all, so excited to take part and perform. 

No, thanks. I'll take life straight up, as is, on my own. 

That kind of community? I believe it's called a cult.

That said, I've come to the conclusion that the religious fairytale is not all that different, or any more relevant, than the Easter Bunny.

When I look back at it... it seems a strange thing to expose children to. Talk about a bunch of mixed messages. The stations of the cross plays out like some public BDSM fantasy reenacted in visceral ritualistic detail. Then there's that basket of sugar to be inhaled accompanied by lip service to an ancient fertility rite, culminating in the celebration where we witness the reanimation of the dead. 

And don't get me started on the whole 'eat my body, drink my blood' thing.   

It plays with your head. Especially as a kid.

And ties you in knots.

On this side of it? I see how messed up the whole belief in a magical being - be it a higher power or the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus - is, in the end.

Think of the unrealistic expectations the promise such a being creates in the hearts and minds of people - and children, especially? Being born into a religious institution is a little like slowly poisoning one's brain. 

"They know not what they do." No, shit sherlock! They're clueless; lambs to the slaughter. That's not guidance. That's being force fed some seriously messed up propaganda.

Children are literally given no time to define themselves or the world on their own before being exposed to this crap. I certainly wasn't. I was told to blindly believe. To have faith. 

"And what a bitter disappointment that turned out to be."

I don't blame my mother. Or her mother, for that matter. They were both indoctrinated from day one. Learned to fear and regret, be subservient, accept their lot in life and hate themselves for it. The Catholic Church is built on the backs of self-loathing women and the terrorized children they raise.

Religion tells us... if you do this, if you behave in this manner, if you pray hard enough... then you will get what you want. But it doesn't work that way at all. 

Life is unfair. And being told otherwise is cruel. There is supposed to be an advantage to being virtuous. But if that's true, then why do all the assholes have all the money and enjoy the best things in life?

Fact is, life is full of paradoxes. And our time and energy would be much better spent learning to cope with that. The world is currently inundated with hypocrisies, contradictions, paradoxes - and thoughts and prayers? Ain't gonna cut it.

We see with our eyes, hear with our ears, and work our minds to reach an understanding.  We believe we 'know' something, but then are confronted with an incident or occurrence which flies in the face of it or  an alternative view or told that the opposite is true based on some creative bits of illogic. 

Is that what 'faith' is all about?

Can something be both logical and illogical and exist in the same space, residing comfortably side by side? 

Isn't that what being 'human' is all about?

As human beings go, we're not very adept when it comes to accepting grey areas. We want things defined. It is 'this' or... it is 'this.' Ambiguity frightens us. So we invent finite answers to quell our fears. To make sense of the senseless. 

And when it becomes too much... then we start seeking 'answers' outside of ourselves. We want to hand the irreconcilable aspects of life and living over to someone else. 

I think that's how deities are born. I think that need is the basis for theological doctrine.  

And, let's put aside, for now, all the charlatans and shysters who take advantage of this situation by exploiting people's weakness and need for certainty, enriching themselves in the process. 

It's not that religion, in it's purest form, is evil. It's intentions are good. It's meant to reassure. "Oh, yes, when you die you go to heaven and live forever. Oh, yes, you'll see your dead husband again. Oh, yes, if you do as we say, behave as we ask, live as we tell you, then you will be rewarded  - maybe not in the way you hoped, but then 'God' works in mysterious ways."  

What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

Is that a built-in escape clause?

In other words; be prepared to be disappointed, now cough up 10% of your income, these gold robes don't come cheap. 

No, the show is not free, folks. 

In the end, everybody pays for a ticket, one way or another.

But, hey... grab a seat!

Happy (?) Easter.

Hang on folks.

This pastel nightmare is almost over.

Well, until  we revisit it again, next year.

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Here Comes Peter Cottontail - Danny Kaye

Wonderland Burlesque's Easter Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Easter Quiz

1/ Favorite Easter candy?

None. I had one when I was a kid, but even the thought of that makes my tummy curdle. 

I do like, or did... chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. The cheap kind - they're basically just flat-backed ovals. You now find them at the dollar store. The chocolate tastes foreign and odd, like it's not actual food, and the marshmallow, depending on it's age, is chewy or really chewy. 

Yes, I have a thing for food that has the texture and taste of things one should not eat.

2/ Least favorite Easter candy?

There are so many I despise. I will mention two. Peeps. Just disgusting. And then there are those large sized pastel ovals that are supposed to be eggs. They have a hard, glassy outer shell and then inside is some kind of weird white fluff. The taste is awful, but the sensation of biting into one is a horror movie in my mouth.

3/ Do you buy Easter candy? Did you ever?

No. Not anymore. But there was a time...

When I was a child, I couldn't wait for the Monday after Easter, because that's when the Rx Drug on Main Street discounted all the Easter candy. They carried Russell Stovers products and there was one I coveted like crazy. It was this little green birds nest made of coconut with three tiny jelly beans sitting in the nest. I have no idea what the pastel pasty green stuff that covered the coconut actually was, but I could not get enough of the stuff. 

Pre-Easter they sold for $1.25 (too rich for my tiny allowance,) but after Easter? Ten cents. I would buy as many as I could and well... eat them much too quickly, I'm afraid. 

I think all that candy from my childhood? 

It's the reason I can't stand to eat more than a tiny bite of a sweet thing today. 

4/ Do you or have you ever colored eggs?

Oh, yes. As a kid. 

My mom was always very supportive if we wanted to be artsy craftsy. And I think she knew how to create egg dyes using food coloring and vinegar. I remember the smell being quite pungent. 

Later, we somehow afforded those PAAS egg kits. The little tabs of egg dye and all the cut outs and paper egg holders. I was a messy, sloppy kid, so had no skill for it, but my older sister was quite precise about the whole thing. I remember, in the end, the last few eggs, they always ended up charcoal grey because we'd mixed up the colors too much. 

And come Sunday morning, of course, those eggs were in our baskets. They remain one of the reasons that I can't become a full-fledge vegan - I simply love a hard boiled egg. And egg salad sandwiches (with very little mayo) are one of my favorite sandwiches to this day. 

5/ Did you ever host or participate in an egg hunt?

No. I don't recall ever being taken to one. And, as children, we didn't do them at home, either. 

Later, once my mother had grandkids, we had a hunt each Easter Sunday. The kids loved it. 

And, seated on the back porch with a glass of nicely chilled chardonnay in hand, I enjoyed watching it, too. Sort of.

Kids? So not 'my thing.'

6/ Where does it rank for you among the holidays?

It doesn't. Not anymore. 

It's an oxymoron of a holiday, what with it's religious aspect and then the bunny stuff. It's nonsensical. 

But if I must then, it's at the bottom of the list. I'm over the whole mythical religion bullshit. And the bunny does nothing for me, nor the candy... though I do (as I mentioned) love me a hard boiled egg. 

7/ Do you decorate your home for the holiday? Did you ever?

My father did. He loved all the holidays and he loved decorating. Not when we were kids, but later, when he had grandkids. 

He and my Mom would shop after ever holiday and buy up all the discounted decorations. And my Dad would just go over the top with the indoor decorations. 

It was very sad when he became too feeble to do it anymore. Mother tries to this day, but... it was a very Dad thing, you know?

As for me? Oh, heavens no. I can't be bothered with any of that stuff. 

I think I'm becoming less and less sentimental.

8/ Go to church? Did you ever? Did you get dressed up? Did your parents buy you a special outfit?

Yes. We certainly did. As kids, it was a fashion show of sorts - my mother went to great pains sewing the three girls identical dresses. Or she'd somehow find the money to buy things. I remember one year I had a little trilby hat with a vest and long sleeve shirt with suspenders. It's captured in one of my favorite childhood photos. I was maybe three? And it's a photo of me, outdoors, placing one foot forward and doing jazz hands and I think I'm saying 'tah-dah.' 

It kills me to look at it. Such a little chunky ham. 

And later... well, when my parents moved into the house across the street from me and Dad was failing and Mom needed a bit of community, so I went to church with them, to help with Dad. Was recruited into the choir, became a cantor, took the whole thing very seriously until points of fact started to simply pile up all around me like little lifeless husks. It was a very slow dawning. I felt... betrayed. Poisoned. 

And that was it. Religious soul search over. 

I still see it's value as a source of community, but the actual church and all the nonsense they brainwash people into believing... that's really unforgivable. 

What they do (especially to children) should be a crime. The propagandizing, I mean. The other? That is quite illegal. Thank... gawd?

9/ Do you look good in pastels?

Gawd no! 

I once made the mistake of buying four pastel long sleeve dress shirts for work. There was a pale blue, a pink, a green and a yellow... all pastels. 

I hated those damn shirts so much. None of my ties worked with them. I wore them each once, hung onto them for years and, after a great deal of handwringing, finally convinced myself that yes, I would never wear them again, and donated them. 

They were nice shirts, but... so not me. 

10/ Did you ever own a bunny or a baby chick?

What a terrible practice. Do you remember? When they would sell baby chicks as gifts to give kids for Easter? Ben Franklin and Woolworth stores sold them.  I can't imagine the horrible fate that most of them met. 

I was a farm kid, so, yes... baby chicks were a thing, but not as presents. They were a year round thing. 

And I did have two bunnies, Snowball and Midnight. They met a bad end and I don't like to think about it. 

I do hope people still aren't buying baby chicks or bunnies for kids at Easter. There really should be a law against that sort of thing. 

--- ---

And that's enough of me. 

Okay. Your turn. You know what to do. Leave your answers in the comments section or post on your blog and leave a link here.

That's all for now. Until next time...

Thanks for reading and participating!

Kandy Krush - Kim Wilde

Candy - Big Maybelle