It was brief. Something told me his parents didn't approve of me.
Anyway, I thought it would be nice to take a look at the eleven basic colors used on flashcards for the pre-school set and equate them with emotions, feelings or thoughts in order to take our current personal temperature.
Yes. A quiz. With a theme.
What is this, prom? (If it is, I get at least one dance with Anne Marie.)
(Play Slow Dancing by Johnny Rivers, please...)
Here we go...
1/ What are you doing to ensure you remain 'in the pink'? In other words, what are you doing to help ensure you maintain good health?
I have been working out in the basement of The Boyfriend's house at 11:00 AM, Monday through Thursday. We also take long walks or go for a run throughout the week.
I have been leaning more and more vegan these days. Aldi's, which is owned by Trader Joe's, has some incredible plant-based alternatives. Also, Whole Foods carries a line of amazing plant-based 'cheese'. It melts and everything. You can make a grilled cheese with it, if you want. Salads. I have been eating a lot of salads, though I am about to start eating more spinach, due to an article posted over at Big Whack Attack about foods that help improve men's health.
And I do my best to curb snacking (hard) and portion size (also hard).
Oh, and I should be fully vaccinated as of April 21st. Fingers crossed.
I toy with the idea of taking vitamins, but, from what I have read, it would seem that we pass most of that; sluffed off because it is unnecessary. Hopefully I am getting adequate vitamins via the foods I eat.
The one vitamin I look forward to getting more of soon? D - as in sunshine, baby. Bring it on, Mr. Blue Sky.
2/ What do you do when you're feeling blue? What helps?
I'm very introspective. So first, I try to find the source for these feelings. Then, if there is nothing I can do about it, I remind myself that this is a temporary state.
Taking a shower helps. Getting all cleaned up and shiny. A work out or a walk helps, too. Even just walking the dog. Helping someone else with something helps me place my thoughts elsewhere, too.
My memory is terrible when I am feeling sad. So, playing piano? Not the cure all one would hope, as I just get frustrated - and anger is simply sadness all stirred up, so not much help.
Talking about it never helps me. It's strange, but I think it's human nature to take something someone tells you and then make it about yourself. Because people do that to me all the time. I try not to do it to others, but I have noticed that when I comment on other people's blogs I almost always make it about myself... so I'm no better than anyone else about it.
Thing is, when you're sad, you don't have a lot of energy to deal with other people's opinions about why you're sad. So, best to keep it to yourself.
The weird thing about Covid-19? I have not been depressed or blue at all. Just coping. Very accepting of the changes. Always trying to figure out a means of making 'what is' more tolerable and enjoyable.
3/ When you're seeing red these days, you're thinking about what/whom?
So, there are a few situations in the world that get me angry.
Very upset about the number of black transgender women who are being murdered and how little attention it is garnering from the media and the police.
Very upset with Minneapolis' City Council and the poor decisions they continue to make. I am especially upset with carpetbagger Phillipe Cunningham, who represents my district. I thought he would be a good change, but he is inept and only cares about himself and how many followers he has on Twitter. Whoever runs against him? I am going to go to work for.
On a personal level? I get mad at stupid stuff. Things like The Boyfriend not cleaning up after himself. I get upset and clean things up, because I will not live in a messy environment that can be improved with a little elbow grease. So, that is on me. That is left to me. Why waste the energy getting upset? I'm going to clean it anyway. The anger really serves no purpose.
Except... it brings to mind a line from an old Jackson Browne song, Daddy's Tune; "I guess my anger pulled me through." And there is some truth to that, for me. Anger is a great motivator. If channeled correctly it can get things done. But anger burns a lot of joy. And joy is in such short supply, it would seem a foolish use.
So I tell myself, "if you can't do something with joy in your heart, don't do it."
But then, a lot of things would not be done. And if there's one thing that brings me joy... it's getting things done.
4/ When you're stuck inside having a grey day what are you going to be doing with your time?
Grey is different that blue. It's more like being bored. Listless. Restless. A boat without a sail.
Cleaning is always a go-to.
As is writing, of any kind.
Playing piano... good for the cobwebs.
And reading. Books take me out of myself, which is so helpful on grey days. They offer, via the author's POV, a fresh take on my own life. I tend to take what I identify with most in a given book and apply it to my life, so it's like adopting a fresh character. Not being yourself? Sometimes very helpful.
Also blankets. I have a light one I wear like a shawl in the morning. It has fringe and makes me feel like Stevie Nicks. Silly, but the warmth is helpful as is the magic of imagining myself as a Russian peasant woman enjoying a cup of tea in my hovel.
Weird? I know. But that's how I entertain myself these days.
5/ What/who makes you green with envy these days?
Those dudes who are fully vaccinated and keep hitting on me on Grindr and Scruff.
They are fully vaccinated (they tell me). Good for them. But I am not, so, no - I will not be getting naked with you anytime soon.
Why am I on those sites? Entertainment. Keeping my hook in the water. I explain my situation in my profile, so it's not like I'm leading anyone on. Also... I need the validation. That I am worthy of consideration. I like to know that I'm still a viable candidate, even though I am currently not running for office (or should that be, not running for 'orifice'?)
But, other than that? I don't put too much energy into envy. There are things I wish for myself., such as early retirement. But I can do something about that. So long as I am working toward it? I am not envious... I am motivated. Just like when I see dudes my age with better bodies. Not envious. Motivated. Because I can have that, too.
Discipline, information and motivation... a great combination, and the cure for envy.
6/ The term 'paint it black' is an industrial term wherein something manufactured - an entire lot, for example, is determined to be all bad. It cannot be redeemed, so must be thrown away. What would you like to paint black these days?
Republicans. Yeah, I know, I know... easy target. But see, I used to give some of them the benefit of the doubt, such as, "Yes, he said this and this, but then he did this, so maybe he's not that bad of a person."
Wrong.
They are terrible human beings. You cannot stand idly by and remain a part of something as corrupt as the Republican Party and not be a terrible person. People who allowed Hitler to exist (yes, going there), they are not good people. They are terrible people who enabled a terrible man because they thought they would personally benefit from it. You can feel a bit sorry for Eva Braun, but she knew who he was and what he was doing and did nothing to stop him.
The Republican Party is complicit in all the racism, sexism, misogynism, homophobia, and general hate that throbs in this country like a fresh herpes at a Roman orgy.
They are all bad people, tolerating and supporting bad people, bad policies, and hurtful rhetoric. They are wrong. On the wrong side of so many things. They lie. They skirt the truth. They are thieves. They use people. They divide. They are argumentative and stubborn. They deny science. They are ignorant and want to keep others so. They are selfish and greedy.
Just as we cannot stand by and allow the Nazis or the KKK (now called The Proud Boys) to have a say in our world, we cannot tolerate the Republican Party or their members any longer.
Yes, yes... I know the Democrats are not perfect. They are slow to move and get things done. They fear being too progressive. But at least they keep moving the ball in the right direction. And if history has proven anything... when Democrats rule, things improve for the bulk of us. When Republicans are in power, the only ones who profit are the already very rich and the politicians who support them.
When it comes to the Republican Party it is time to paint it black. It is all unusable. It must be thrown away.
7/ Yellow is a strange color: it is often associated with happiness, but did you know it also activates the anxiety center of the brain? Let's ignore that second part and focus on the first. What do you lay eyes on these days that makes you instantly light up like Snoop Dog? Umm, I mean like a Christmas tree?
Animals.
My dog Hercules has me instantly talking baby talk, like I have a toddler in my home. I love taking him for his 'walkies'.
The Boyfriend's cats. Now that Cedric is no longer around, I have a free lap. It remains free... no takers. That's because I had no idea how much of my time (when I am at The Boyfriend's house) was monopolized by Cedric. The other cats? They don't know me very well.
Since the first of the year? That has changed. They seek me out - not to sit on my lap, yet, but they do want the attention I give them. And Tuxedo has come into his own. He plays with toys and the other cats now. He sleeps next to me at night. I love petting the kitties.
A blue sky and warm temps lighten my step. I adore getting outside. I recently went for a hike - one I used to do all the time. I can't believe how taxing it was. I used to do this stuff without struggling at all. Now? Not only do I struggle a bit while hiking, but I feel it later that evening. I know this is temporary, because I am out of practice. But seriously, running on a flat surface is not as challenging as hiking a variety of terrains.
I was tired that night and a bit the next day, but I was happy, because it was well earned exhaustion.
8/ White is the color of purity, which is a state of perfection. What gets a rise out of your inner perfectionist these days?
Language. Spelling. Punctuation.
I have some bad ass habits, especially with punctuation. Spelling? Spellcheck on a laptop has made it rather difficult to actually learn how to spell... it identifies mistakes you've made immediately and serves up a solution, so I find I never really retain the actual error I'm making.
Punctuation? I should take a refresher course, so I stop embarrassing myself all the time.
The English language is as precise as it is rather stupidly complicated. Other people manage to remember all the rules and get it all right. One would think that I, at this stage in the game, would be one of them.
When I find myself making up punctuation rules? I tell myself it is creative license. That I'm not ignorant... I'm creative! Just so long as I am consistent... which is another failing of mine.
9/ When at a loss, you can always go with dependable brown. Who or what do you look upon as steadfast and true, these days?
The three people that make up my people pod. The Boyfriend, The Ex, and my Mom.
The Boyfriend, more than anyone else, is there for me, all the time. Yes, he occasionally disappoints me regarding little things, but the big things? He always steps up to the plate and does the right thing.
I am lucky The Boyfriend puts up with all my crap. I am not high maintenance, but I am a tad exacting.
The Ex and my Mom? They require a bit of monitoring and handling. But they can also be counted on to be in my corner and do the right thing.
10/ Purple is associated with royalty. What has you feeling all high and mighty these days?
I am very proud of how I've handled the Covid pandemic. I have been doing all the right things - not just paying lip service to it. I have refrained from activities that pretty much define who I am and put my energies elsewhere. I mask up. I stay home. I keep myself and others safe.
And now, with the vaccine available? Why do anything that risks one from crossing that finish line? It would not be worth it.
So, I wait.
Getting through this without having contracted this virus? That is a major accomplishment, folks. We all deserve a pat on the back. So, yes... I do feel superior. I had the discipline (who knew?). I had the strength. I had the ability to get through this unscathed.
The reward?
I know more about myself. I know who I am. And who I am not.
I know what I am capable of accomplishing.
So, hell yeah, I get a pat on the back, for once. We all do, dears. We are surviving this thing.
We are doing it all right.
And those that did get the virus? Well, they fall into two categories. There are those who got it through no fault of their own. Those on the frontline, doing their jobs to helps save the lives of others. No, I do not feel superior to them. They are heroes. They died or became ill so others might live. That's sacrifice. And that is sad.
But then there are those who were stubborn and remain so. There are those who refuse to accept science (But Sky God? Oh, yeah, according to them? That's real!), or use common sense and belittle those of us who do both.
I do feel superior to them.
Because stupidity is its own reward. And if you were stupid about Covid? Then you are most likely stupid about a lot of things. And even if you did survive it?
I don't wanna talk to you or hear your opinion about anything.
People keep telling me, "oh, don't use the word 'stupid', it's not PC." Well, fuck that.
Stupid is, people.
Stupid is.
11/ Orange calls to mind feelings of excitement. What has got you feeling super pumped these days?
