Warning... this is an adult site. If reading or viewing things about what gay men do sexually with one another bothers you - you should not read this blog. This blog is a reflection of my adventures and thoughts. Some are fun, some not so pretty. I won't name names, or kiss and tell... but I will live to tell. And baby, trust me - I am gonna spill it all over your pretty little party dress. Enjoy!
Up first? In a subdued mood, and channeling a bit of classic Donna Lewis, it's the normally bombastic Ariana Grande, with the pure pop confection of her latest, Twilight Zone.
Then, with a total return to her original form, it's the liberated Kesha leaning hard on the country button with some help from T-Pain on the joyousgroup sing-along, Yippy-Ki-Yay.
And finally, serving up a classic slice of classic disco, its the poshest UK diva, the lovely Sophie Ellis-Bextor, with the infectiously chic Relentless Love.
All in all, a trio of destined-to be-classic diva turns.
Have you ever put your heart inside the biggest rollercoaster, indeed!
The duo that brought us
the best single of the year? They are also responsible for the year’s absolute
worst. That it was as popular as it was makes
one question the taste of those who popularize music.
Justin’s chorus is all saccharine garbage,
but the crap that comes out of Jay Z’s trouty pout makes those of us with any sense of
fairness want to give him a good whack or two.
Dude needs a reality check; people barely making ends meet don’t want to
hear multi-millionaire Jay Z whine about how difficult his life is due to all
his money and fame.
But then to add to
the injury? Name dropping Michael
Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ because… it happens to rhyme? And then there’s that whole ‘Smells Like Teen
Spirit’ thing. Smells more like desperation, as in Courtney Love must need the
money.
It all adds up to a song created by committee –
the members of which should hang their heads in shame.
Timber
– Pitbull / Kesha
Pitbull, who I once had
a crush on (put back on those dark glasses), will apparently rap on just about anything – see Enrique Iglesias’
latest piece of tripe.
This one is all
on him, with a little help from a Kesha.
Both stars are way beyond their shelf life, so whoring themselves out to the latest fad (hillbilly dance music - ugh) would seem to be a way to extend their
fifteen minutes.
This one makes the
Pitbull / Xtina collaboration ‘Feel This Moment’ almost forgivable. Truly painful.
Roar
– Katy Perry
The little single that
failed to live up to its name.
Roar? This thing barely registers
at all.
The incredibly downer beat is
partly to blame, but the thing that sinks this one six feet under are the
lamest lyrics ever to spring from Ms. Perry’s pen.
Katy is best when being ironic and slightly
humorous with tongue firmly planted in cheek or merely being cheeky. Sincere?
Inspirational guru? Ummm… shop
elsewhere. Hallmark stores sell less
stale sentiments of empowerment.
The
Fox – Ylvis
The video was one of the
funniest things out there this year. I actually like the music and, given
different lyrics and subject material, this might be considered a rather catchy
tune. As is? Annoying beyond belief. But that is what happens when a novelty item
with a shelf life of one week ends up sticking around long after it’s worn out
its welcome. Still, kudos for the name
of the group.
Dishonorable Mentions:
Chinese
Food – Alison Gold
Makes Christina Perri’s
‘Jar of Hearts’ and Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ seem ground breaking, astoundingly
deep, and musically revelatory.
Robin
Thicke – ‘Blurred Lines’ and ‘Give It 2 Me’
While Prince and Marvin
Gaye would both like some of that sweet royalty money, they would be
embarrassed to be associated with funk this hollow.
Gas
Pedal - Sage the Gemini, WOP – J Dash, Versace – Migos, Bubble Butt – Major
Lazer, feat. Bruno Mars, 2 Chainz, Tyga, and Mystic
Ringtones masquerading
as music.
Started
From the Bottom – Drake
Dude, you are such a
liar. From the bottom? More like the cushy middle. Why are you such a liar?
What
Now – Rihanna
What now, indeed. Shrill and simply trying too hard, Rihanna
should have run from the recording booth before belching up this one. Unlistenable.
We
Can’t Stop – Miley Cyrus
Laziest piece of crap
ever to wash up on the radio. It’s not dance, it’s not great pop, it’s not…
interesting. Can’t stop? More like never got started. (Love that shout
out to the big girls, though.)
Dark
Horse – Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
This one finds the
self-appointed self-esteem priestess in ‘E.T.’ mode, which is fine, but it gets dropped on this list for green lighting Juicy J’s dumbest name drop to America’s
favorite gay serial killer (“She eats your heart out, like Jeffrey Dahlmer).
No, I’m not kidding.
Worst Musical Trend:
Aping
Mumford and Sons and putting a dance beat under it.
Avicii, Pitbull / Kesha,
et al.
Hillbilly blue grass
dance music sucks . Stop it
already.
Mumford and Sons are boring
enough as is.Adding a stupid dance beat
to the mess only demonstrates a total lack of musicality.
Like oil and water,
some things do not belong together.
Runner
Up:
Modern
Country
Goes down like a vanilla
yogurt / latex paint smoothie. Yeah,
even my gag reflex kicks in. Georgia Florida Line? Yuck.
Worst Album:
Elvis
Costello / The Roots : Wise Up Ghost
Talk about a stone cold
soul killer. And not in a good way. I have no idea what either party was
thinking. Possibly the worst team put
together since Brad Paisley and LL Cool J.
Seriously embarrassing and should have never been released. It’s simply so deadly dull.
Runner-Up:
Music
From Baz Luhrmann’s Film: The Great Gatsby
The kind of stuff
nightmares are made of. Some of the
worst musical ideas ever committed by a bunch of people too privileged and self-involved
to know better – which, ironically, is very much in keeping with F. Scott’s original
novel. Hmmm. But, no… this stuff is awful.
Worst Artist:
Okay, Kanye, someone has
stolen your crown, dude.
Bruno Mars – that vaguely
unctuous, gender-deficient pop star - has pulled ahead, thanks to some of the
dumbest lyrics I have ever heard in my life via ‘Gorilla’, ‘Treasure’, ‘When I
Was Your Man’, and the astoundingly (and that’s saying a lot considering ‘Gorilla’
is on this list) bad ‘Young Girls’.
Mr. Mars
has worst taste than Paula Deen’s studio audience members.
This man seriously
creeps me out.
--- ---
Yeah, there are others
that should be on this list… but who has
the time? And why bother?
