Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Mike McFadden

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: 

Mike McFadden

In an election cycle that includes two-time DUI-offender and established homophobe Tom Emmer vying to fill Michele Bachmann’s slot of crazyhate and trust fund baby looking for new thrills Stewart Mills trying to unseat Duluth’s Rick Nolan, it would seem difficult to come up with an even stinkier Minnesota GOP candidate… and yet, we did.

Yep, investment banker Mike McFadden, who is going head-to-head against incumbent Al Franken, takes the cake (and, apparently, doesn’t pay for it).

At first, I was a bit worried. 

McFadden’s initial ads presented him as an everyman type, coaching football, being jovial and approachable.  He seemed like the kind of common sense guy you’d want to meet and have a beer with.

But then Al’s group shifted into attack mode last week, exposing a tiny fact about Mr. McFadden that qualifies Mike as Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week. 

Seems the company that McFadden made a fortune with was one of the first to move their headquarters to another country in order to avoid paying taxes here in the U.S. – to Bermuda, no less. How… festive!  Granted, McFadden joined the company two years after it had made that move, but if dodging taxes is how you make your riches, maybe running for a political seat while touting your business practices is not a good idea.

His campaign manager immediately threw a flag on the play, declaring it was all “lies”.  Going on to say that, “We need leaders in Washington with business experience who can get our economy back on track and who will reform our tax code by lowering rates and eliminating special interest loopholes so we can encourage investment here in America, not abroad.”

Which is rather an end-around way of thinking. 

I mean, if one is doing business in the United States, taking advantage of its infrastructure (roads, seaports, legal protections, etc.) without contributing something towards paying for said infrastructure – well, that strikes me as someone lacking integrity and, as business practices go, a tad unethical.  

I mean, I don’t have a fortune, never will… and I pay my fair share in order to make a living, here, in America. 

So, why shouldn’t Mike McFadden?

Mr. McFadden is running on a platform that claims we pay too much in taxes, but… it would appear his business doesn’t pay any.

Mr. McFadden wants us to put him in Washington so he can get rid of the train wreck that is Obamacare, which is ruining this country, but… last time I checked, Obamacare seemed to be a big success; with more people having medical coverage than ever before, while paying less in premiums.

Mr. McFadden says we should vote for him because of his solid business record…which would seem to include an awful lot of tax dodging.

Hmmm.

So, let’s all throw a flag on this play, as a means of saluting Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week, Mike McFadden.

Mike? 

As Judge Judy says – if you eat the steak?  Then you have to pay for the steak.

And if you want to run for political office?  Then you better live your life with integrity, bub.

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week: Companies like Burger King and The Politicians of The United States of America

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week:

Companies like Burger King

and The Politicians of The United States of America

Nobody wants to pay taxes. We resent it.  We want to keep everything we earn.  It’s ours, we worked for it.

That makes sense if you live in a vacuum, devoid of a physical world.

But we do live in a physical world. 

One where we need roads and bridges in order to get from one place to another.  We need courts to protect our rights as individuals, just as we need protection from those who mean to do us physical harm. 

As much as we resent government and its agencies and loathe its inefficiencies, we need them in order to function as a society.  And that comes at a cost.  As citizens of this country, we are duty bound to contribute something to that bill.

That’s why the recent trend among large U.S. companies to merge with other  non- U.S. companies and move their corporate headquarters outside our borders in order to avoid paying their fair share of taxes is so upsetting.  For, you see, these same companies (and their employees) will continue to use the United States’ infrastructure while doing business in the United States; they just won’t be paying for any of it.

Reality check: not that they ever really did.  Most Fortune 500 companies pay little or no taxes.  That’s why they pay for all those lobbyists and fund all those political ambitions.  Those political contributions?  They would be the reason our elected officials have been rather hesitant to put a stop to these so-called mergers.  At election time they need money to compete and that money has to come from somewhere. It’s in their own best self-interest not to slap or restrict the hand that feeds them.

Reality check: Dodging taxes for big corporations is hardly something new.  They all have off-shore accounts stocked with millions, billions and, in some cases, trillions of untaxed dollars.  Most of those companies are using those funds in order to purchase these non-U.S. companies.  This has been going on for quite some time and our government officials have chosen to look the other way because their careers rather depend on doing exactly that.

Will a boycott of Burger King have any effect at all? 

Maybe briefly.

Will it cause Burger King to reconsider moving their corporate headquarters out of the United States? 

Doubtful.

So, if charbroiled tasting globs of fat and deep fried everythings bring joy to your artery clogged heart, then, please, continue to make it “Be Your Way” or to “Have It Your Way”.

Burger King will. 

TMI Questions: Tax Time 2014

People are so weird about money.   I have two business partners that react very badly whenever I want to talk about it.  They get defensive and angry and I don’t get it.  My former partner used to, also.  It was one of the many things we used to argue about .

People weird out about taxes, too.  Big babies.  Grow up.  Pay your share.  You’re a part of a bigger picture – you owe your community, and paying your fair share is the only way to keep the whole ball of wax from melting. 

And it’s always the ones that either have nothing or have way too much that whine.  The former are merely parroting what greedy conservatives tell them about the world via the likes of Fox News, and the latter are just greedy creeps who give humanity a bad name.

Shame on both; those that have nothing for being ignorant, gullible, and out of touch with reality (you have nothing!) and those that have too much for being such a bunch of over-privileged, whiny, greedy bastards.

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: Tax Time 2014

Have you finished your taxes or are you just getting started?

Finished two weeks ago and already got my return.

It’s a complicated process that I start putting together (along with my accountant and business partners) starting in January.  I say that and it makes it sound like I am an integral part of this process, when nothing could be further from the truth.  I provide what is needed and wait… and wait.

Do you do your taxes yourself or do you use a service?

For the business, we have an accountant who does everything.  Once he is done with his stuff, then I get to file my personal taxes. 

In the past, I have had someone keep track of my personal stuff, but I think that all changes for 2014.  I’m not sure.  It depends on what happens with the business. 

We’ve been discussing some major changes.  Whether any of it comes to pass remains to be seen. 

As for my personal taxes, that definitely changes in 2014, though I will continue to have someone else do my taxes. I get more back that way.

How are you at keeping records and receipts?

I guess we’ll find out. 

When it came to my theatre company I was a disaster.  The woman who inherited the company wags a finger at me every time I see her.  I can’t blame her; I was reckless and absent-minded. 

I think I’m better about such stuff now, but then I’ve always had someone looking over my shoulder when it comes to my personal stuff.  That will be an adjustment, but I’m up to the task.

How ‘creative’ do you get?

Not at all. 

I have read and heard (first hand) horror stories regarding dealing with the IRS in an audit situation.  There’s good reason to toe the line, here, folks. 

If you want to read a particularly harrowing case of IRS misconduct, I suggest you check out singer Janis Ian’s autobiography.  If her story is to be believed, then take heed, as certain agents are allowed to take out their personal issues on citizens caught in arrears. 

My luck is not good, so I know better than risk an audit.  It would not go well.  In such cases, I now do my best to not invite trouble; trouble has a way of finding me all on its own.

What do you think about the amount of taxes you pay?

More than fair. 

I don’t care, really, as long as my world continues to function within certain guidelines.  I don’t see the government as some evil entity taking money that doesn’t belong to them.  We live in a democracy and as part of the community I am more than happy to contribute my fair share. 

But I’m not stupid, either.  I take advantage of the benefits available, maxing out my contributions to my 401 K, stock options, and the like.  That’s about ensuring some kind of retirement, if I should choose to retire.   

What do you plan to do with your refund?

The bulk of it goes to pay down my credit card (I only use one). 

I am also getting an expensive, brand new bike – my first since the mountain bike accident where I broke my neck in two places.  Yep, I’m ready to face that demon. 

And I’m getting my piano tuned, because I’m tired of it sounding like a honky tonk.  It also detracts from my ability to play, because my ear keeps getting hung up on things that are ‘not quite right’. 

Bonus

Have you ever paid an IRS agent personally?

Ummm… is this a sexual question?  Bonus questions typically are, right Sean?

I have never met an IRS agent, let alone gotten naked with one. 

You see, in my world, these phantom people do not really exist.  They are like the boogieman or the concept of hell.  In other words, they exist in name only to scare the crap out of you and get you to do the right thing.  By doing the right thing, you ensure that you will never come face to face with one of these foreboding creatures. 

So, again… take heed.  Do the right thing.

Now, pay your taxes, bitch!