Warning... this is an adult site. If reading or viewing things about what gay men do sexually with one another bothers you - you should not read this blog. This blog is a reflection of my adventures and thoughts. Some are fun, some not so pretty. I won't name names, or kiss and tell... but I will live to tell. And baby, trust me - I am gonna spill it all over your pretty little party dress. Enjoy!
When I think of an outlet for release, gardening is certainly not the first activity to spring to mind (well, not my mind). However, it served exactly that purpose this weekend. It was a great escape; digging in the dirt turns out to be a great way of venting anger, frustration, anxiety and fear. Not that I was strangling posies, no, far from it.
With chaos reigning down all around us this weekend, I found myself avoiding the newscasts, internet news outlets, social media and neighborhood sites. Still, news of what was happening found me. Well-meaning neighbors took it upon themselves to knock on doors and inform people of nearby issues, warning us to put our vehicles in garages, to pull our trash cans out of the alley (people were setting them on fire), and to keep our porch lights lit.
I was getting texts and calls from my ex (he tends to run on anxiety) and my youngest sister (very concerned about my mother's well-being). I did what I could to assure them that we were all doing our very best to keep everyone safe.
Word of phantom out-of-town cars sans licence plates being spotted in our hood (true) and additional looting (untrue) spread like tear gas in an angry crowd. Sorting out the truth from rumor was difficult.
I simply kept my head down... digging in a different kind of dirt.
Weeding gives one a great sense of power, especially when feeling powerless. Which is what we all were.
This grand scale drama continues to play itself out throughout the Twin Cities. I'm sure you've caught snippets on the news. The National Guard, military forces, the media, government officials, the MPD, the protesters, concerned citizens, community activists - all have their roles to play. But with the Covid-19 pandemic still playing itself out, and the death of George Floyd scarring our collective conscience, all the looting, instigating, inciting, arson, intrigue... it all seems a bridge too far; a brick of pathos dropped upon an already stacked dramatization.
Its far from over.
Even after the provocateurs have left the stage, the machinations of our legal system will work to keep this story front and center; yet another constant reminder of our failings as human beings. If only empathy came easily to all, perhaps this travesty could have been avoided.
But its here. Bleeding on our front walk. Every day.
And I'm glad.
It's time all of this bad energy had its day. Time for it to all be aired and vetted and dissected. While I deplore the events, I support the best intentions of the protesters. They represent change and transparency. It's unfortunate that their message is getting lost in the glut of media distortions, tainted by political hackery and opportunism, and sabotaged by those using George Floyd's death as an excuse to act out, exploit, profit or take advantage.
What to believe?
That truth will win out. I trust Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison. I trust Governor Tim Walz. Their hearts are in the right place. Their track records demonstrate the integrity needed.
In the meantime, I will be keeping my head down...
