Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Rudy Giuliani

Wonderland Burlesque’s 

Turdscooter of the Week

Rudy Giuliani

Oh, Rudy…

This honor is long overdue.  Mr. Giuliani (Who is, what? A former Mayor, occasional cross-dresser, and, now, marginal celebrity wannabe?) shoots off his mouth and Fox News is only too happy to lick the toe of his suede, thigh-high, fuchsia boots. 

Rudy routinely makes the kind of headlines that make me sick to my stomach: sensational, narrow-minded sound bites broadcasting absolute garbage.  Simply google this man and his habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time blazes forth with an obliviousness that is as calculated as it is idiotic.  In terms of political stupidity, only Donald Trump rivals this man.

Last week, he questioned President Obama’s Christianity and his love of America. Is it just me, or would you agree that since a black man became President, the proverbial white gloves have come off in relation to treating that office with dignity and respect?  It’s like open season.

Previously, Rudy ignited a shit storm when sharing his views about black on black crime and the racial make-up of police forces. He then accused President Obama and other black leaders of stoking the anti-police sentiment that has hit code red since the uprising in Ferguson, MO.  He also intimated that teacher unions are to blame for violence in the black community.

The thing is: who the hell is Rudy Giuliani?  How is he relevant? 

Why should I care what comes out of his mouth?

Because news/talk shows need fodder and Rudy can be counted on to deliver something that pricks up the ears of liberals and reasonable, logical people.  And – most importantly - he’s an easy guest to book. 

Because the man has nothing else going on. 

This is why I think he should consider, given his cross-dressing past, giving J. Edgar Hoover a run for his money, and take up drag full-time.  Who knows?  Maybe there would be a spot for him on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’? 

Although, Ru tends to not take clowns seriously…

And, oh, yeah… Rudy boy is definitely that.

So, let’s all wrap a beaten feathered boa around our necks, put on a pair of hilariously oversized shoes, and paint our faces with a smile as a means of saluting Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week, royal ass-clown, Rudy Giuliani.

Rudy?

STFU! 

I Want To Ask Him, "Where is 'Soon'?"

I Want To Ask Him, "Where is 'Soon'?"

I grieve, too.

For the loss of his son, the English language, and our public school system.

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week: The People of Ferguson, Missouri

Wonderland Burlesque’s 

Turdscooters of the Week: 

The People of Ferguson, Missouri

To clarify: by ‘The People’, I mean: Police Officers, Government Officials, and Protesters.

Criticizing from afar is easy and pretty pointless and no amount of Monday morning quarterbacking is going to fix what is wrong in Ferguson, MO. 

But…

This is not America. 

Not my America.

There has been wrong-doing committed by all parties involved. 

Police Officers are guilty of acting as thugs and a militia without regard to their citizens’ safety.  Their blatant overreaction and abuse of power is a sign of gross indifference, fear, racism and possible guilt. Even worse?  Their attempts to cover-up their corrupt and illegal actions (who else has rubber bullets?), their attempts to silence the media via false arrest and worse, and their treatment of the victims of their abuse. 

To say nothing of their recent attempt to sully Michael Brown’s image and reputation by releasing a video (even after the DOJ ordered them not to) of a convenience store robbery in which Brown may or may not have been a suspect.  The police officer responsible for Michael Brown’s death (six shots!) didn’t even know Brown was a suspect and this action only incited the protesters’ ire, as has law enforcement's response as a whole.

Government Officials are guilty of acting slowly, illogically, and in an uncoordinated, inept fashion. They failed, time and again, to recognize the magnitude of the situation at hand.  This area has long been a powder keg of inequality and racial unrest – a situation Government Officials failed to address effectively at any time.

The protesters are guilty of a lack of organization and focus, and allowing a few bad apples to spoil the whole event. A party atmosphere?  Protests going until midnight?  Molotov Cocktails, vandalism, and looting are not part of the program and hurt the greater message.  This is a culture war and you are not doing all that great of a job representing.

And that is at the heart of everything that is wrong in Ferguson, MO; nobody has been doing their job correctly, professionally, competently, logically, or with a modicum of discretion.

Lost in all of this is the fact that yet another unarmed young black youth has been slain in this country.  Lost is the tragedy that is the Michael Browns of this world.

This is hubris.  This is ego.  This is a total lack of common sense and a disregard for human life.  Everybody’s finger-pointing – but the truth is – everybody involved with the situation in Ferguson is horribly out of touch.

Please note:  Missouri ranks #41 when it comes to education.  So should any of us be surprised?

Where there is education and enlightenment, there is a great deal less ignorance.  Where there is charity and common sense, there is hope, justice, mercy, and true liberty.

What is happening in Ferguson is nothing short of a national disgrace.

This is not humane.

This is not America.