Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Pastor James David Manning (Again)

Wonderland Burlesque’s 

Turdscooter of the Week: 

Pastor James David Manning 

(Again)

Pastor Manning has the honor of being Wonderland Burlesque’s first back-to-back winner!  But read on and I think you will see exactly why he’s so deserving.

Last week, Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem, New York, renowned homophobe and host of the online series ‘The Manning Report’, who believes, among other things, that gays enjoying their lattes at Starbucks are spreading the Ebola virus and that it would be appropriate to stone gays “back to hell” dropped another little dingleberry of truth, claiming that the appeal of Starbucks’ lattes has to do with a secret ingredient: the semen of sodomites.

 “Oh, this is the absolute truth, and I believe that they were doing that.”

In his own words:

 “So my question is, where are they getting all this semen from? My suspicion is that they're getting this semen from sodomites. And somebody has discovered that semen, like cord blood, has the opportunity and it has millions and millions of little zygotes in it and it flavors up the coffee. And it makes you think you're having a good time drinking that cup of latte with the semen in it. I'm not making this up!”

No, Pastor Manning, you’re not making it up.  But the good folks at Huzlers.com, the humorous fake news site and source of your information, sure did.

I would like to believe that this latest folly would be enough to embarrass this supposed man of God and cause him to disappear from the homophobic landscape, but I’m not holding my breath. 

I imagine that Pastor Manning was so invigorated by all the attention garnered by his last diatribe against gays and Starbucks, that he Googled exactly that and stumbled upon Huzlers, falling for their bait hook, line, and sinker.

If Starbucks’ legal team has any time on their hands, I am thinking a nice little defamation lawsuit might be the thing to put an end to Pastor Manning, his supposed ‘Worldwide’ church, and all his hate-baiting rhetoric.

So, let’s all unpack our gear and cast our lines in the water as a means of saluting this week’s Turdscooter and our very first back-to-back winner, Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem New York. 

 

Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooter of the Week: Pastor James David Manning

Wonderland Burlesque’s 

Turdscooter of the Week: 

Pastor James David Manning

I remain fascinated by the workings of the human mind, particularly when it comes to matters of religion and religious calling.  For some, it takes a leap of faith, while for others it would seem to involve incredible leaps in logic.

Take Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem, New York, renowned homophobe and host of the online series ‘The Manning Report’, who believes that “upscale sodomites” enjoying their lattes at Starbucks could be aiding (pun intended) the spread of Ebola.

In his own words:

“Starbucks coffee stores are indeed ground zero for spreading Ebola and other diseases, because of the clientele of Starbucks. Generally upscaled [sic] sodomites who frequent Starbucks, who sit there with their computers and it's a meeting place, they exchange a lot of body fluids, hands shaken and contact. Stay away from Starbucks if you don't want to get Ebola. And especially the Starbucks in the urban areas.”

Now, I guess this should not come as a big surprise, coming out of the mouth of a man who also believes that it would be appropriate to stone gays “back to hell”, but let’s keep in mind that (according to science) the Ebola virus is not spread through casual contact and that the only people who have contracted it in the U.S. are people who have been treating patients with the virus.   

I mean, those are facts.  

But, hey, why listen to medical professionals and scientists when it’s much more fun (and self-serving) to simply make shit up!  Especially about people you don’t like.  Because then, it’s not discrimination, but a matter of concern for the health and well-being of those you do like. 

Creating unfound fears?  Oh, yeah… that’s the stuff of ‘God’. 

Sadly, I don’t believe Pastor Manning to be clever or aware enough to spout these things simply as a means of getting attention.  No, I think he really believes the laughable crap that falls from his mouth like so many clowns in a circus parade.

So, let’s all raise a cup of our choice in a salute to this week’s Turdscooter: Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem New York.

If ignorance is indeed bliss, then James David must be one of the happiest fucking people on earth.