Weekend Onesie: The Devil Made Me Do It
I always chuckle when I hear some religious zealot complain about Halloween.
Modern Halloween has about as much to do with the devil as Xmas has to do with some fable about a magic boy being born in a stable.
In reality? It's all about the costuming.
No. I don't mean Halloween.
Religion: it's all about the costuming.
The Catholic church is the most egregious culprit. So theatrical, that lot. I spent three and half years cantoring for a pious, bitchy queen who made his own robes. It took me a year to catch on... but yes, for him? It was all about the show, and the show was all about him and whatever fabu muumuu he happened to whip on his little Singer sewing machine that week. Once he had those blue hairs in those pews, I think he felt he had to give them something in exchange for their pension money.
But they're not the only religion guilty.
When it comes to prosperity churches its all about designer clothes and what the pastor is driving, because - and the pastors tell their congregation this straight up - the lives of the flock are only going to be as fabulous as the Armani suit the Shephard is wearing. And if you think he and his wife are going to be driving around in his and her Toyota Corolla's, you got another thing coming! So tithe, tithe, tithe. You got a spare kidney? Sell it and give the money to 'god.'
Now, you can dress it up anyway you like, but religion pretty much boils down to just a couple of things: on one side of the equation, you have control and greed. On the other? Fear and magical thinking. For we live in a world of 'you can't get something for nothing' and when it comes to proving your devotion? It better be backed up by a check with multiple digits.
And while there are a few exceptions to the rule? Most religious practitioners - on both sides of the equation - are merely disguising their true motives. At the root of hypocrisy? You'll find at least a little bit of that 'old-fashioned' religion.
And so, every Sunday, all those practitioners show up, masks in place; a bit of theatre where the audience has just as big a role as the performers on stage. Those on the altar? Those leading the choir? Child, they are working! They have to inspire. They have to hoodwink. They have to scare, inflate, shame, demean, divide and conquer. But mostly? They have to separate the flock from a percentage of their hard earned wallet lettuce.
Yes. All 'god's' children gots to be paid, son!
In a way, it's no different than the little masked beggars who show up on your door step on October 31st, decked out in their finest costumes, palms up, begging for some sugary sustenance.
Trick or treat?
Oh, honey, when it comes to religion? It is all trick.
And the devil ain't got nothin' to do with any of it.
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On this, the eve of Halloween,
I want you all to have a devilish good time.
Enjoy!
-uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque!
Dress You Up - Madonna
