Wednesday's Question Of The Day: Quality Of Life

Wednesday's Question Of The Day: 

Quality Of Life

Hump day? Well, I'll give you something to ponder.

Yes, it's time for Wednesday's Question Of The Day.

Each Wednesday, a new question to give you the opportunity to do a bit of self-examination.  Think of it as a way of getting to know all about you and a chance to learn a little more about me. 

That's right. You know me; spill that tea! For I am the king of over-sharing!

Oh, and please leave your responses in the comments section. 

Why, think of this as a little blogging kiki!

Okay! Ready, set... 

Here's today's question:

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

Gee, you want five, don't you? Five things. I do. I want five things. But just one. Well... I don't think it's going to be the one you expect.

It's not money - for, as Annie Lennox once sang, money can't buy it.

Nope, I am going with...

Self-Confidence.

I don't know where self-confidence comes from. 

Are you born with it? I was not. 

Is it a matter of privilege? Status, caste, class, social position? Is it something you naturally possess but gradually erodes over time due to the toxic people you come in contact with during your developing years? Can it actually be physically beaten out of you?

Again. I don't know. I have never found the answer to this one. And I have been aware of my lack of it for centuries. I've read the books. I've listened to the teachings. I've explored every avenue. Therapy. Religion. Pharmaceuticals. Career development. On and on... It's a want I have always had, a need that has thus far gone unfulfilled, and one I have come to accept as unattainable at this stage in the game. 

Instead? I do as I have always done: I fake it, until I make. 

Faking it? Well, it robs any accomplishment of its authenticity. Rather than proud (what is that?), I live in fear of being found out; branded an imposter - my incredibly tiny crowns taken away from me. 

And when I fail? Well, what else did I expect?

I live my life waiting for the me that has yet to arrive. 

Oh, I carry on. Sometimes like a fool. I find moving forward preferable to wallowing in the stank of self-recrimination, fear, self-loathing, and *gasp* self-pity. But I can never move forward fast enough to escape that nagging sense of never having actually earned anything in my lifetime. 

I believe that self-confidence is the missing factor. Not having it has robbed me of ever experiencing 'success' as defined by the world around me. Yes, I realize we ultimately have the power to define success for ourselves, and I have (had to), but there is the larger picture, the one with all the tangible rewards others deem the signs of true success. 

Living without self-confidence? It takes its toll. I've come to doubt everything about myself. It's there in my posture for all the world to see. If something works out - it's good luck. If it doesn't - bad luck. Except, like religion and magic and magical thinking, I no longer believe in luck. Instead, I've come to accept the randomness of life. 

For, no matter how disciplined I am, no matter how hard I try to hone a skill, develop a talent, achieve a goal... ultimately, without self-confidence, I resort to practicing a form of self-fulfillment in the form of self-defeat and self-sabotage. 

So, that is the one thing I wish I had - self-confidence - as I believe it would make all the difference. 

Maybe I'm fooling myself. 

But I don't think so. 

I'm many things. 

But I'm not a stupid person.

--- ---

Money Can't Buy It - Annie Lennox

Weekend Onesie: The Shape We Are In

Weekend Onesie: 

The Shape We Are In

Some call it fashion. Some think it a matter of biological imperatives. Some claim it nothing more than a show of influence, wealth, and power. 

Through the ages, society has found various ways to shape us... sometimes literally - not only our hearts and minds, but our bodies, as well. Thanks to Madison Avenue, capitalism, and corporations needing to move product, people - and women in particular - have been bombarded on a daily basis with the message that, no matter how we look, we don't look 'right'.

Yes, fads come and go... typically much more quickly than the psychological scars left in their wake. 

Today, we take a look at a handful of these messages - frequently conflicting and almost always incredibly pointed... like a needle to the eye or a sharp jab to the rib cage!

 

You spend your entire life with one person.

You!

So... love the one you're with!

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Love The One You're With - Luther Vandross

If it's not one thing...

...it's the other!

What once is considered too much...

...can quickly become a matter of never enough.

But then... things can be manipulated.

And improved upon.

To achieve the desired results.

The perfect you!

Love The One You're With - CSNY

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Meghan Trainor

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: 

Meghan Trainor

In my own, personal, big gay church, there is a wing dedicated to Those of the Heart. These are the singers, songwriters and muses who have spent a lifetime capturing various aspects of the human condition. Frequently, due to the whims of the music industry, their lives were not always their own... but they persevered... ultimately remaining true to their roles as seers of the heart.

One such sincere soul?

Meghan Trainor!

You see...

There once was a girl from Nantucket...

Well, actually, a small island off Nantucket.

Who went on to become one of the biggest entertainers of her time!

Coming from a musical family, she began her career as a songwriter at the age of 17...  that is until she wrote a song which the industry said only she could sing! And so she did...

And the earth moved. 

She began a movement... a wave of body acceptance, all thanks to a really great pop song.

Now... it hasn't all been a constant leap forward. The backlash actually was quite fierce.

Seems she may have said some things... for she's very real and speaks from the heart - even when she doesn't quite understand the question. Remembers, she's very young and from a tiny island off the coast of Nantucket. Feminism? Well, she wasn't quite sure, but - because it was very clear that they had issues with her - she certainly was not one of them! 

And maybe her concept of boy/girl relationships was a bit old-fashioned. But keep in mind, she's very young and rather naïve. She didn't have a great deal of life experience to draw from.

And of course they all flipped out when she began to lose a bit of weight - traitor? No. You keep up with her work schedule, and you, too, will watch as the pounds melt away.

But the dust did settle. She's now much more savvy, handling interviews with aplomb (and a bit of handholding). And having married and had two kids, her views on relationships have grown up quite a bit, as has her music.

Through it all, one thing she's always been sure of is her love for the LGBT community. On that, she's never wavered. 

Today, this diva is a veteran performer with a faithful fanbase who jive with her vibe, for she's still working hard, asking people to accept themselves and others just the way they are. 

What the future holds is anybody's guess... but, with her talent? Skies the limit.

The gospel according to her

Well, here are three from the hip, dropping from her lips. 

The topic? Body Type

"I grew up a chubby girl. I had two brothers. My parents loved us, they just fed us whatever we wanted."

"I was always a little insecure. I had brothers that played football, so I was just a straight-up tomboy for a minute. I didn't know makeup and hair stuff. My friends had to tell me what a straightener was. I didn't know fashion or any of that until the label gave me a stylist."

 

"I went from being a casual songwriter who wore big sweatshirts and leggings every day to someone telling me I was going to be a pop star who's on camera every day. I didn't know a lot about fashion because I had kind of given up on my relationship with clothes. Now, I have a stylist that's shown me the right places I can show off my body - but I still stick to my comfort zone in fittings. I want to be covered and I think I can be sexy fully covered. That learning process has been helping me with my confidence. And I follow actresses and singers who post on social media about being confident."

"I wasn't strong enough to have an eating disorder. I tried to go anorexic for a good three hours. I ate ice and celery, but that's not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like, 'Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like, immediately.'"

"A lot of people in the beginning of my career would say stuff to me in person like, ‘Well, you’re much skinnier than I thought you’d be,’ or just weird backhanded comments. So, I’ve had a very weird relationship with my body for a lot of years, especially because I grew up chubby."

"I had a reporter ask me how much I weigh. I said to him, 'You go first: How much do you weigh?' People always ask me what I eat. Other artists don't get asked these questions."

 
"I'm definitely bigger [body-wise] than a Rihanna. Pop stars nowadays are all perfect Barbie-doll bodies, and they talk about how they keep their bodies up with hard work, so in my eyes, it's good to have a regular, average body type in the charts."

"I don't consider myself a feminist, but I'm down for my first opportunity to say something to the world to be so meaningful. If you asked me, 'What do you want to say?' it would be, 'Love yourself more.'"
 
"I just think women should love themselves more than they do. Because I think - with all the social media stuff - we look at ourselves too much, and we just destroy ourselves when we're way cooler than we know."

"With social media, with Instagram and selfies and all these apps that are trying to make you look perfect... it's hard for girls to grow up nowadays with all that stuff."

"We should all have a big banner, or maybe a neon sign, in our bedrooms: Every inch of you is perfect."

 

All About That Bass - Meghan Trainor

No Excuses - Meghan Trainor

Made You Look - Meghan Trainor

And one last parting shot...

 

 ”Owning your curves means being confident - actually being confident - in your own skin. Growing up was tricky for me, it was so hard to shop with all of my friends and not being able to fit into the tiny clothes they were wearing."

"It’s a mental thing. Just recently I was thinking, ‘I’m confident now, and I look good,’ and that’s because I’ve started saying those words out loud more."

"Any body type is beautiful. It's all about loving what you got and rocking it."

Weekend Onesie: Woman! Medicate Thyself!

Weekend Onesie: 

Woman! Medicate Thyself!

You just can't keep a good woman down... or can you?

Mid-winter blues got you staring at the dust bunnies under your bed?

Well, lucky for you gals, there's a cure for that... according to Madison Avenue and Big Pharma.

And we ain't talking the latest in Swiffer technology.

Yes! Medicate thyself.

Why cope, when you can dope?

Just take a look at all the wonders that science has to offer those of us feeling not quite up to snuff.

That's right, ladies. You didn't think you could keep this all to yourselves, now did you?

Let's all do it!

Take their cure? And you won't be singin' the blues no more, no more!

 

Go ahead, pick your poison.

But be sure to educate...

Before you medicate.

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque.

Meds - Placebo

 

Let's talk about it... 

Put yourself in the hands of modern medicine.

Or self-medicate.

Perhaps something traditional.

But don't overdo!

Why suffer on a daily basis?

Or monthly?

Make it easy on yourself... and them.

Nobody likes a jumpy Mary!

Restore your sense of well-being.

Or get a bit of extra energy.

Or get a lot.

Yes, put that zip back in your step.

After all, those dust bunnies aren't going to chase themselves.

But do learn to 'cope'.

So you can get back to what's important...

...to others.

Why do battle with life?

When you can surrender?

Why feel imprisoned? 

When you can medicate!

Medicate Me - Chapter and Verse feat. Lizzy Farrall