Wednesday's Question Of The Day: Love

Wednesday's Question Of The Day: 

Love

Hump day? Well, I'll give you something to ponder.

Yes, it's time for Wednesday's Question Of The Day.

Each Wednesday, a new question to give you the opportunity to do a bit of self-examination.  Think of it as a way of getting to know all about you and a chance to learn a little more about me. 

That's right. You know me; spill that tea! For I am the king of over-sharing!

Oh, and please leave your responses in the comments section. 

Why, think of this as a little blogging kiki!

Okay! Ready, set... 

Here's today's question:

What does love feel like?

Solid. Solid as a rock. A foundation you can build something upon. 

Like everyone, I used to think it was a rollercoaster. But rollercoasters are scary and unpredictable and designed so, eventually, you must get off. An ending is guaranteed. And if you want to ride again, you have to go back, buy another ticket and wait in line.

When you're young? Take all the rollercoaster rides you want. After all, there's a reason they call them amusement rides.

But once you mature, trust me... your taste will change. You'll tire of the drama. The uncertainty. The ups and downs. It'll become enough to make you sick!

Now, being something solid and firm doesn't necessarily mean it's not also fun. There is something giddy about the prospect of future success, but to experience it you have to have a reason to believe it's possible. And you have to have something solid on which to base such a belief.

I enjoy the comfort. I get to relax and be myself - done with the idea of twisting myself into someone I'm not or expected to be. 

I like the certainty. He's always there, in everything I do now. When the chips are down, he can be counted on to come through, and I am more than capable of doing the same for him. We have each other's backs. I have no doubt there's anything we can't weather - with humor, kindness and consideration. 

It's far from boring. Conversation becomes important. And there are fireworks... especially in the beginning, but one can't live a live a life of explosions and sparks - why, everything around  you would eventually catch fire.

It took me a long time to adopt this attitude. 

But, unless you want to squander your life, time, and energy on nonsense, you'll end up doing the same.

If you're smart? You'll save your last two tickets for that balloon ride.

--- ---

End Of The World - Matt Alber

Wonderland Burlesque's POV Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

POV Quiz

Our point of view changes as rapidly as everything else in the world. Thing is, we have several different perspectives to choose from. And, based what we observe, we form opinions - and that is what serves as the foundation for today's quiz - your opinions.

Take each of the very specific topics and let us know what you think, what you see, what you feel. 

And we're going to begin with where it all begins - with you.

So... what's your POV about...

1/ You

Obviously, I approve of my overall performance, although there certainly is room for improvement. 

We hear over and over again about how important it is to love and accept ourselves, and I must say, I've always struggled with it. As lazy and incompetent as I frequently am, I do think I am my own harshest critic. But that's getting better because I also think I've made huge strides as a human being (so there's a little less to be critical of.)

It's an odd juxtaposition, huh? Like driving with two steering wheels. On the one hand, we must be critical of ourselves. On the other hand, if we don't pat ourselves on the back on occasion, who will? No wonder people grow discouraged. Or confused and conflicted.

I like myself. I am very aware of how weird I come off in the eyes of others. My choices? Not for everybody. But putting aside all my naughty habits and bad choices, I've turned out alright. I grew up, finally. Behave in a somewhat responsible manner and do right by those I cherish. Could I do more? Sure. But I'm not superman. I rather enjoy and accept my limitations. I accept my lot in life, making the best of it. 

2/ Your Immediate Family

That would include The Boyfriend, The Ex, and my mother. They are my primary concerns. Reaching out a bit further, my two kid sisters and their families would be included. 

My relationship with my two older siblings is strained and I don't see them stepping up to the plate to alter that. Nor do I see myself making much of an effort to repair what is broken. 

As for those I do hold dear? Well, I worry. We're all getting older. My mother is more fragile. She dithers and her balance (and judgement) is at times questionable. The Ex seems intent on mimicking whatever her state is, despite being ten years her junior. 

I worry about The Boyfriend's health, but realize he's his own person and can do as he pleases. 

If and when the time comes to take care of any of them, I'll be there. That's my duty. Somedays? I don't see any other purpose for my being.  

I do wish I'd focus on creating more joy. But I'm a bit pragmatic when it comes to the day-to-day stuff - I think I get it from my long-suffering maternal grandmother.

3/ Extended Family

There's not much. I have a friend who's returned from Florida for the umpteenth time - sans his sort-of-partner. Their relationship was rather toxic, so it's nice to see him on his own. We have the best time together, but I rarely see him. 

The work wife. I sort of view her as my daughter. I want the best for her. And we make each other laugh - which is good for both of us.

I'd claim my friend Laura, but I never see her. I get the odd text from her, but that's it. She's a singer and always gigging. I've written several songs for her, but we never get together to share. 

My word! That's it. That's all I have. 

Well. that's all I deserve, I guess. I've not been one to keep friends. Also, I have a tendency to burn bridges. If I'm honest with myself? I have what I need and I don't really wish more. I haven't time. The immediate family (plus cats and dog) take up so much time, and, what with work and life maintenance, I don't have much to spare. I like my alone time. I need alone time to write and read. So, I guess I've made my bed - one which, I am only too happy to lie in. 

I cherish the few friends I have. And am very grateful for their participation. (They do put up with me, after all.)

In the end, it's my anger that keeps me apart. It's not the kind that results in violence. I'd never harm another. 

But it's difficult for others to deal with and, though I've tried various things - therapy, medication, etc. - I don't seem to be able to get a handle on it. It morphs and changes and I don't blame others for not wanting to be around it. 

So, I've made my peace with being the troll in the basement. I'll stay there, where I can't do any harm. 

4/ Your Neighborhood

Ugh. I used to love my piece of North Minneapolis, but it's becoming increasingly hostile and unlivable. 

I've become that old man that yells at speeding cars. I've become that old man that yells at kids not to litter. 

I wish I was someone who would get more involved, get out there, be an activist. But, that's not me. I sit in my basement and simply resent those around me. I really only care about a two block radius. Same for the area around The Boyfriend's house. The property management company I'm part owner of has houses in other parts of North Minneapolis, but I've stopped worrying about the state of their surroundings; things aren't improving. 

That said? I won't be here in five years. I'll move elsewhere. Whatever issues are at work here? They're not mine to fix. 

5/ Your City

I used to adore Minneapolis. It was like a large small town. Even though I had little money, I was everywhere when I was younger. I wanted to see and experience as much as possible. 

Now? It's dangerous. 

It's not just Covid-19. It's not just the aftermath of George Floyd. The degree of malice and the propensity for violence have risen to an almost intolerable level. 

I fear going out to eat. I fear grocery shopping. Everything now feels like a confrontation waiting to happen. People behave abominably. They're rude and inconsiderate. They're selfish. And I don't want to put myself in their line of fire. 

So, I look forward to leaving. The bad is starting to outweigh the good. 

I'll miss the museums, but then, that's what day trips are all about.

6/ Your State

Minnesota is a blue state only thanks to the well-educated people who live in Minneapolis and St. Paul proper, and, to a lesser extent, Duluth. You go in any direction from those epicenters? Ignorance and intolerance will greet you. 

It's frightening. 

With the exception of those three pockets of progressive thinkers, the state is mired in a sea of red. 

The recent Covid-19 Pandemic only called even more attention to exactly how bigoted and small-minded those who live outside the metropolitan areas have become. Example: the hospital beds in Minneapolis were filled to the brim, but not with people from the metro - but the unvaccinated idiots who live(d) in rural communities and refused to take Covid-19 seriously.

And we're losing our grip.  I truly fear what will happen with the next election cycle. Last election cycle? They turned Duluth red, ousting Collin Peterson, who'd held that seat for 29 years (and had become complacent and a bit sloppy.) (Another reason for term limits.)

The state is beautiful. So much green. Those lakes? Gorgeous. But good luck getting near one, as all the shoreline is taken up with private cabins and residences. Privilege has its advantages!

I don't hold out much hope. Minnesota may very well go the way of Wisconsin... 

...but at least we'll never be Iowa!

 

7/ Your Country

What a clusterfuck.

Good luck sorting out this mess. I feel for Biden. This? This is a political tsunami. What the orange ogre has not ruined in his wake, Covid-19 has made more difficult. Starting up a stalled economy? Not something that happens easily... yet, the media and the GOP seem to think it should be. Of course, they're both merely opportunists, calling attention to themselves, as per usual. 

And that's what's at issue here. There are those who care. About the welfare of others. Who wish to build a world where no one goes hungry, everyone has shelter, everyone has access to education and healthcare. 

And then there are those who only care about themselves and their bank accounts. 

The rich are running and ruining this country. I used to not understand this, but, during the time of Covid-19, I have come to see what's really going on. The circumstances brought about by the pandemic have brought these issues into sharper focus. 

We're as corrupt as Russia, but in a less barbaric way. We have not been #1 in ages and ages, in fact, we are now further out of step with the rest of the world than ever before. I think back to a time when I did not understand the scorn and derision heaped upon America by European countries. 

Now? I get it. I see it. This country was founded and built on genocide and slavery. We've been in denial for over 200 years. And now that were aware and talking about it, wanting to make amends, those still in denial want to silence all that noise. America is like the toxic alcoholic who still refuses to get help, despite what all their friends and relatives have been telling them for years and years. 

I'm not without hope, but I doubt this will be resolved any time soon.

And should the orange ogre or someone of his ilk return to power? 

Well, those will be dark days indeed. 

So, vote, kids. If the last election proved anything? Voting matters. 

8/ The World

Rather love Europe. I don't know the rest, very well. Yet. Canada and South America? On the list. I don't think I'll venture into Africa, the middle east, or the far east. What I know? Makes me uncomfortable. And I don't do well when uncomfortable. 

We are such a privileged bunch, here, in the states. Our wants are not needs. We're horribly spoiled, for the most part. I know I am. So, it's hard to remain aware of the inequities that exist on this planet. The casual cruelty alone is enough to cause one to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. 

As for the future of this planet? Oh, dear. Humans have made a mess of it. I think the whole thing would be better off without us. 

I'm not worried about what I will witness in my lifetime... the deterioration of the planet? That's going to fall onto the heads of future generations. I do what I can to mitigate my footprint, but, as with anything else... I feel that ultimately, I'm fairly powerless. 

I adore that I'm more aware of the world and my place in it than ever before. I see these brave souls, jetting off to here and there to experience various things. Some of it is humanitarian in nature, but most of it is related to that 'influencer' nonsense. Still, they're doing what I'd like to be doing, though our missions are quite different. 

I want to understand. And it's a selfish desire, because, ultimately, I think only I would derive any benefit from it. It's doubtful I'm articulate or disciplined enough to actually share what I learn with others; my life certainly isn't set up to facilitate such. Still... I have a great thirst to evolve. To experience and understand. Yes, I realize, it's from my POV, through my lens, filtered via my oddly accumulated biases, but... the desire is there and, once I retire, I plan on pursuing doing just that. 

9/ The Universe

We're nothing, eh? 

Nothing like the vastness of which there is no end to put one in one's place. 

And that's a clue we need to examine... that vastness. If it exists - something with no end - something measureless - then what of time? What of our lives?

What are the possibilities that exist that we've not yet contemplated?

Could there be no end to 'us?' 

I like being aware of just how insignificant we are in relation to the universe. Puts things in perspective. No, it doesn't lessen the pain inflicted, the scarring, the mindless destruction we experience as citizens of this planet. Nor does it take away from the beauty created by the arts and this planet's amazing ability to manifest awe-inspiring sights and moments (despite all the damage being done to it.)

They say, "This, too, shall pass." 

So, in the end? What matters?

10/ The Afterlife

In the end? It simply ends.

You know... the way a movie ends. Sometimes, we're relieved, glad it's over. We weren't enjoying it all that much anyway. Other times, we want it to continue. Either we wish to sustain the emotional state we were enjoying or there's something that remains unsaid and we wish to know more.

In either case, what's left in its wake is a void - one created due to the discontinuation of what came before. 

That's death, for me. That's what I expect. 

Perhaps there will be pain in the final hours? An unexpected shock? It matters not because I very much doubt I'll be aware of it. We simply slide into nothingness. 

All the self-aggrandizing, hyperbole and drama surrounding what comes after life? It's such a waste of energy and time. Such foolishness. And people fear it. That's why they cling to such odd beliefs. And when a loved one dies? They make up all sorts of stories about what's become of them or, in order to comfort themselves, tell themselves they'll 'see them' again. 

To each their own. 

If you've a practical mind, you know that all you've truly got is the moment you're experiencing now.

So, make the most of it. 

As for those consumed with the idea of leaving a legacy, a mark? 

Folly. Utter vanity. It's all a matter of ego. Even those who create beauty if the form of the arts - in the big picture. In the end? It's nothing but a fully realized moment which eventually passes into nothingness. 

It's the movie, after the movie is over. 

I hope to leave without causing so much as a ripple. I also hope to leave with a better understanding of the 'why' of it all. 

I also hope to leave having truly lived - even for a moment. 

I won't depend on others to inform me. Or form me. 

I'll depend on the moment. 

For that is all we have. 

For that is all we need.

--- ---

Wishing you all the best.

Leave your thoughts in the comments section. Always good to hear from you.

Thanks for reading... and participating.

Feel This Moment - Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera

Nothing Really Matters - Madonna

Wonderland Burlesque's Going Green Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Going Green Quiz

In light of the green returning to the planet courtesy of spring, I thought we should take a look at what it truly means to 'go green.' 

I love this planet, but, sadly, she's not doing all that well; rumor has it she's on her way out!

Today, we'll take a look at what we're individually contributing to the salvation of our dear, beloved, much-abused earth, and, in turn, examine what else we might be able to take on to support these efforts. 

Let's dig in...

1/ Do you recycle? What day of the week? What's your opinion of recycling? Does it work?

Yes. Very much so. We recycle everyday and they pick it up every two weeks on a Monday. It's telling that our blue recycle bin is three times the size of our regular trash bin and that the recycle bin is always nearly overflowing, while the trash bin has two tiny bags inside it. 

In the kitchen, we have an old wicker clothes hamper with a hinged lid. A quick rinse and in a suitable item goes. Same at The Boyfriend's, minus the hinge. They both add a bit of warmth to the kitchen, so they don't look out of place or industrial. 

At The Boyfriends? We have two giant recycle bins and one trash. Again, due to all the board games The Boyfriend kickstarts, the recycle bins are always overflowing. 

Does it work? Does it matter? I don't honestly know for sure. I'm not aware of how effective Minneapolis' recycle program is actually; I do wish they'd post information about what they do with all of it. I do know there is a park bench program and that some of the stuff is used to create playground equipment, so there's that. I really should look into it more. 

2/ Do you compost? Every tried it? What's your opinion of composting?

The Ex and I did for three years. What a mess. What bother. The only thing I liked about it was that we didn't have to bag our grass clippings. In the end, The Ex couldn't stand looking at it (although it was well hidden, well kept, and a nice looking compost cage.) When the city introduced their organic materials pickup service, good-bye compost. 

At my Mom's, I continue to compost and she has had quite a bit of success with hers, creating all sorts of lovely top soil full of nutrients. Her raspberry thicket loves the stuff, as do her strawberries. 

Now, all our leavings go in this little ceramic lined metal pot that sits on the stove top. We used to use these biodegradable bags in it, but the bags would dissolve before we had a chance to take them out to the organics bin, so we now do without. It's not an issue at all in the winter, but in summer? Oh, my... the fruit flies. I was never so happy to see winter than this year, for the fruit fly situation was getting out of control. 

I have no idea if Minneapolis' organics program is successful. The main plant is right near one of our rental houses - a giant mound of decaying matter. Never smells. It's just a bit unsightly, but then it's an industrial area near the river, so it fits right in. I have no idea what they do with it. 

3/ What do you think of solar power? Concerns? Do you have solar panels on your house? Would you?

Love solar panels and I wish we could afford to have them. I suppose, at some point, we won't be able to afford not to have them. I know there are all sorts of programs to help you purchase and install them, but we're a bit complacent about it; something new, you know... 

I don't have any concerns about them. They aren't that unsightly and are definitely effective. It's definitely something to think about and look further into. I think a sort of laziness is at the root of our inaction. As the world goes? Can we afford to remain so complacent?

4/ What do you think of wind turbines? Concerns? Any near you?

I haven't seen any in the city, proper, but on the outskirts, like Maple Grove, etc.? Oh, yes. And I don't mind them. I think they look rather majestic. The whole bird killing controversy seems much ado, but, thanks to the orange ogre, that is everyone's main argument against them. 

Keep in mind, they go out and kill birds with their guns, but if even one dies due to a wind turbine, well... then that's reason enough to do away with them? It makes no sense, but then those sort of people rarely do. 

And they say they're unsightly, but... really? I view them as rather heroic. I mean... think of all the crap we visually have to put up with, like the omnipresent Golden Arches ever five feet. I would much rather look at a field of gently turning windmills. 

 

5/ Do you purchase organic foods? If so, why? If not, what's preventing you?

I will if it is the only produce available, as in, something I need to have... but otherwise, no. 

Why? Expense. And it rots so fast. I would have to shop on a daily basis and I hate shopping. Grocery stores are nightmare experiences for me; my anxiety goes through the roof. And I would shop at one of those co-ops (in fact, I have a lifetime membership at the main one near uptown,) but I don't like the offerings, don't like the prices, don't like the people that shop there, and I don't like the people who run it. They're such snobs. Even the nuevo-faux-hippy sorts with their multiple face piercings and white-people dreadlocks. I don't want to support a bunch of deluded posers. And they're so militant about their food choices. Sorry... I like convenience. It makes me feel like I eat garbage food (do I?), but there are enough other things to feel terrible about in the world, so fuck 'em. 

I'm a concerned citizen of the world. Sensitive, but not a nut job. All those face piercings don't make you more righteous or a superior social warrior; they render you unemployable and ridiculous looking. And scary. (Mostly I find them scary.)

Now... you show me a nice naked hippy and the woods - minus all the coop trappings? Oh, yes, dears, I'm all over that. They always smell so wonderful (except for those that insist on wearing patchouli oil like water.)

6/ What do you think of plant-based foods? Have you tried them? Any favorites?

Adore. This is the wave of the future. Do away with all the killing and industrial animal harvesting. Eat plant based foods. They are delicious. I don't know why I didn't do it earlier. And they keep becoming more available and more affordable. 

I used to assume the worst about all of it, however, once I made a commitment to eliminate meat from my diet - because it's so much healthier to do so and I love animals - I began to experiment. I now love tofu. I've found wonderful tasting plant based substitutes for everything - even fish. Granted, I could make better choices (there is a primo vegan butcher shop in NE which makes the most amazing things, but I'm not a daily sort of shopper, so it doesn't work for me.) 

As is? I'm happy with what I'm eating, which, surprisingly, includes a lot of green salads. Huge ones. And I don't know why. I mean, I am a lazy, lazy person; one who couldn't be bothered to chop and clean things, but now? Monday through Thursday. I rather like it, have it down to a routine. Lots of spinach. Lots of fruit. It makes me happy. 

As for the plant-based stuff. One simply has to try different things. You'll find you spend as much or more on meat based stuff, so why not try plant based items? I don't feel deprived. In fact, I feel like I am getting away with eating what I want... now, the only issue is - portion control!

7/ Do you make a point of shopping locally? Did shopping locally in any way impact the gifts you gave this past holiday season?

I adore small business day pre-holiday season. This year, The Ex, who opened a shop for his organic soap company this year, gathered his favorite vendors from the various farmer markets where he's sold his goods. I went in and had a ball, dropped big coin and had all my gifts before I left. 

I'm now really into soy candles and I don't mind paying more for them when I know the money is going to support a woman and her family. Yes, not a necessity, but for the sake of my well-being? Perhaps it is. 

The Ex threw another event for Valentine's day and I swooped in and finally found the perfect set of bowls for the veggie rice bowls I like to make and eat, among other things. I liked that I was placing my cash in the hands of people who actually create what their selling - no middle man, no bank, no price gouging. 

I haven't figured out how to extend this idea of shopping locally. I do know we have a grocery market in North Minneapolis that grows their own produce in a vertical farming pod. They sell it half-price on Wednesday mornings, so you'd think I'd be more motivated... but keep in mind, I'm a lazy sort. 

Still. Really need to make more of an effort to support such an enterprise... or it will go away.

8/ Do you own an electric or hybrid car. Concerns? Could you see yourself owning an electric car?

I do not and I wish I did. 

My next car? Yes. Either a hybrid or a full-on electric. I am done with supporting an industry which price gouges, destroys the planet and helps fund the GOP. 

Fuck big oil. Send them packing. 

Cut Texas off at the knees, folks. They're arrogant, greedy and evil. They need to be destroyed. 

That's why I'm all for what's happening with electric vehicles. I want in. I think I will make the switch when I retire in four or five years. If something happens to my mini in the meantime, yes... I am prepared to switch.

9/ Mass transit? What services are available to you and which do you use?

Have never been on the train. We don't have a line that comes to North. You have to go downtown to catch it and then what? Go to The Mall of Embarrassment? No, thank you. 

We have a line that is supposed to go to Burnsville, but it is mired in funding issues and construction problems. It's way over budget and, of course, the GOP want to kill it, because it affects the amount of gas people burn and it only serves people in the metro.

The bus lines in Minneapolis continue to get cut back... which is the wrong direction. Ridership is down because it's simply not safe. I feel for the drivers. They put up with so much. And people now get on and refuse to pay - what's to be done? 

So, no. Mass transit in Minneapolis isn't working. It's too expensive and too scary.

I Uber, but that's not the same, is it?

I am biking more in the summer. So, there's that. Hard to go grocery shopping that way, though. Bet I could manage it if I shopped locally...

10/ What do you see as the benefits of going green?

Well, wouldn't we like to save the planet? Not for humans. I think about the polar bears. I think about the choral reefs. Thing is... we're a selfish lot. And I'm no different. I'm certainly not doing all I could. I do the bare minimum and pat myself on the back, saying... good enough. Bah. 

I don't have children, so part of me doesn't care. The only thing I do care about is the welfare of animals and, as it stands, we are destroying their natural habitats at an alarming rate. Humankind's arrogance and indifference is toxic. Destructive. 

I live a tiny life. My impact? Not huge. Still, I could do more, small things, in order to make a micro bit of difference.

I think about how much water I use on a daily basis and am, what? Shocked? Ashamed? I take it for granted, while there are people in Africa who have no water. How do I make sense of that kind of inequity?

There's so much ignorance and stupidity in the world. I sometimes wonder why we bother trying to save the planet at all. Still. Those of us who know better need to continue to do better. Maybe it will rub off. Maybe it will make a difference. It's better than surrendering to stupidity. 

And that's what we're fighting against, folks. Stupidity. Greed - which is simply a form of stupidity. 

So, do what you can to fight the good fight. If I didn't? I couldn't live with myself. How some of these people do? I can't say. I don't know. I suppose stupidity comes with a big helping of denial in order for them to justify all the hateful things they do and pursue. 

But, the clock is ticking. Even for those fools. Me? At this point, I'm resigned to simply run out the clock, while trying to limit any negative impact my existence might pose to the planet. 

My hope is that future generations wake up and make changes sooner than later. 

My generation and those before have been very poor stewards of this big beautiful world. And we have to live with that - and, sadly, so does the planet.

--- ---

Okay, loves. Your turn. Leave your thoughts and answers in the comments section, or post it on your blog and leave a link. 

Thanks for reading, today. 

Make a difference where you can, dears. 

It's all we can do. 

Wishing you all great peace.

Peace - Sabrina Johnston

Peace - O.A.R.

Peace - Depeche Mode