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Friday, May 29, 2009

Bicycle Boy

In honor of Friday and it being such a beautiful, sunny day, I will share with you the story of Bicycle Boy.

Bicycle Boy is one of those re-occurring people in my life. I never know when I will run into him, although, if I do, I know exactly where it is I will see him.

I frequent a park that runs along a very quiet, out of the way stretch of the Mississippi River. When I go there, I always park in the lot on the South end. South is also the direction I head once I hit the trail. The trail ends at this little lagoon which is lined with a very high wall of stone and dirt. In order to get there, you must go through an area that I call The Enchanted Forest.

The Enchanted Forest is the grotto like area of malformed trees, saplings, bushes and brush. The whole thing runs right along the river and is pretty interesting looking year around. I have hiked along this area so much that I have identified several landmark and invested each with a mythology and a name. Examples:

- The Three Sisters: a single tree with three large trunks protruding from the ground next to which stands their daughters – The Three Daughters: again a single tree with three trunks, but obviously a bit younger than the sisters.
- The Old Man: A huge tree – the trunk is at least 30 feet wide and it is hidden behind a field of young saplings. It stands majestically on a hill.
- The Holy Grotto: is this area of oddly twisted trees, brush and shrubs lined with a labyrinth of paths and alcoves. It is dark and mysterious. I love winding my way through it.
- The Arch of Safety: This is the area where, I tell myself, that it is safe to be naked, if you wish to be. It is a tree that has died or been struck by lightening. Its breached trunk split open and curved backwards to form a three-quarters arch under which to pass.
- The Gremlin’s Cove: A small sandy beach where I imagine small ships dock in the still of the night.
- Watcher of the Cove: A large, tall tree right on the trail that keeps the secrets of those who pass by.

There are others I could name, but they just get sillier. This came about one day when, bored with my walk, I began to take note of a given tree or area and infuse it with magical meaning. It became a kind of quest; to visit each of these landmarks and pay them respect.

It is during one such trip when I first ran into The Bicycle Boy.

The Bicycle Boy is a man of indeterminate age (probably early 20’s). His body is totally smooth, save for his pubic hair. He is very slim, quite tall and has a full head of light reddish brown hair. His face is perfectly boy-like set with a pair of shy, hazel eyes and his skin is creamy, smooth, blemish free and pale white.

He rides a mountain bike.

Now… biking along this particular trek is not common at all. The trail is filled with perils that make it virtually impossible.

But not for Bicycle Boy.

I don’t know how he does it, for there are trees that have fallen directly over the path. He must jump them or something.

He’s always wearing something quite sporty and non-descript. Shorts and a t-shirt. Tennies. Sometimes a pair of sunglasses. And usually a cap.

He also always seems to appear out of nowhere. That’s part of his charm.

The first time we met, we ended up doing this hour long dance where he would ride his bike a bit and stop and I would hike up to him, catch his eye, and then continue on. I would then pause a few yards away from him seeing if anything would happen. After a half an hour of this I thought perhaps I was wasting my time. He seemed so young and what would he want with me. But he kept hanging about and so did I. We kept stealing glances at one another and the anticipation of what it was the other wanted or would do kept us enthralled.

Finally we found ourselves to the South of the Arch of Safety, and at the foot of the The Holy Grotto. This time when I continued on, he failed to follow. Then I realized why… his bike couldn’t navigate parts of the Grotto. It would be impossible. So returned to he had stopped - this area at the foot of the entrance to the grotto, where a large, fallen tree lay horizontally – it’s bark worn, revealing a smooth, rounded, dry surface. Here, he parked his bike and sat.

I stood a good five yards away, partially hidden by saplings and brush.

He began a slow strip tease. Leaning and lying on the tree trunk, displaying his jutting ass and languid legs. It seemed to stretch on forever. I indicated my interest by rubbing my crotch. This seemed to relax him even more and he began to disrobe.

The basic scenario is always the same, but there are also variations on this theme: underneath the manly sport shorts he will reveal a thong, a pair of pale pink girly short-shorts, a jock strap, tightie whities… all of which are filled out quite nicely front and back. His cock is an icon, his ass is smooth and sweet. He likes to show off what he’s got. He also likes it when I do the same. I just have my jeans or shorts to drop. I usually go commando when hiking. So no special kinky under-things for me. But he doesn’t seem to mind.

We both come with supplies: I have my cock ring and poppers. He has his spray lubes and odd plastic sexual devices: they are like a condom, only you masturbate with them. He seems to revel in stretching out naked on the trunk of the tree, naked, displaying and playing with his hard dick.

And what a nice dick it is. Really very pretty. Nicely thick and long (probably 8 inches or more) with a set of nice low hangers dangling beneath.

That is the extent of our physical contact. He’s never spoken a word to me. We’ve never touched. We’ve never stood closer than three yards. In a way, it is the perfect safe-sex relationship. On occasion I will break the silence by whispering that I’m going to shoot, or congratulate him on his orgasm – which really is a thing of beauty – for the man can shoot like no tomorrow. When lying on his back, it is not uncommon for the first shot to fly over his head, with each subsequent spurt landing on his neck and chest. It’s a very beautiful sight when timed correctly. He seems to know exactly when the sun is setting just so; with its dying light filtering through the overhanging greenery, creating a background the best stage lighting could never achieve. And in front of this glow, he silently shoots his load, each jutting squirt glinting like long tears of glass caught in the light of the sun. It’s very magical.

He cums, and then I do. Then we dress and go our separate way; he rides away on his bike and I hike off in the opposite direction. We’re never rushed and we have yet to be intruded upon.

This has been going on for four years. This year he has a mustache, which looks a little silly on his baby face. But it is a full stash, handsomely trimmed, all the same. In a given year I will only see him 3 or 4 times, but then again – that is enough.

I doubt that Bicycle Boy realizes all the mythology I have created along that path and in that area, or how he now plays a part of that world. He’ll never know, because I doubt if we’ll ever speak.

Sometimes silence is best.

Sometimes words get in the way.

Sometimes they get in the way of our very private mythologies.

Some things, like magical places in the forest and certain rituals, are sacred and should remain unchanged.

I think it’s time for another hike.

Until next time…

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Memorable Memorial (Weekend) !

I’m so happy. My hole is back in business.

Giving it the time it needed really paid off. I think it is now better than ever.

The whole ‘less is more’ thing should become my mantra. I simply don’t have the energy, time or stamina needed to be a super slut. I will just have to settle for being a regular slut.

Memorial Weekend proved to be a return to form for me (which just goes to support my theory about everything being temporary). Of course, the surprising thing was that it was a return to familiar grounds that really tripped my trigger. I played with three guys – all of them repeat customers. One I had not seen for six years, one I had not seen in a year and one I had not seen for six months. I just happened into it. Each tryst was nothing I had to work hard at to arrange.

On Friday, I took a walk in the woods and wasn’t having any luck. I got hit on by a couple of guys – one whom actually sat naked on a rock pulling on his cock and telling me to ‘get over here and suck my dick, boy’. Normally, I’d be all over that, but this guys body was saggy and something told me I could do better. I wasn’t into any of the guys I saw and felt I should just keep walking rather than compromise. So I went and sat in the middle of this prairie area, and reminisced about all the incredible sights and experiences I had in that area. Due to current renovations the park is undergoing some major changes are being made. So those carefree days of boys in the trees are all but over for that area.

I was about to leave, when I spied a man on a bike headed toward this one area that is THE area to stand if you’re looking for a little something/something. I headed over to check him out. He was short and bald, with a good strong chin. His body was a bit stocky, but I liked his smile. And then I remembered where I knew him from. He had come over to my house to work out with me and take pictures. He has a very public job and was a bit on the down low, so I was surprised to see him in this setting, but hey – everything changes. I’m not sure he recognized me - not that it mattered to me.

He made a move for my crotch and soon we were deep kissing one another. It was way hot. And then I saw his dick. It is a big fatty, very pretty, very pink. After being walked up on by one of the guys I had declined earlier, I suggested that we head further back into the woods. I grabbed this large towel that someone had left in one of the sunning alcoves and dragged it along. We went to this spot I like near the mountain bike paths, but still sheltered enough so that passing bikers can’t see you. I laid down the towel and dropped my shorts. His mouth was on my dick in a matter of moments. I had poppers and supplies with me, but decided to hold off on the poppers, because I didn’t want to compromise my ability to hold my load. He was a pretty good cocksucker and had me as hard as a rock. I pulled out and crouched down so we could kiss more. He began to remove his clothing – he was wearing bike shorts and one of those lycra bike tops with the zipper in the front. Our mouths began to move over each other’s bodies, until we managed to get ourselves into a 69 position. His dick never seemed to get fully hard, but it was such a thick one that I was cool with it.

He then had me sit on his face… man could he eat ass! It felt incredible. At this point, due to the condition of his dick, I was pretty sure that fucking was off the table, in spite of the fact that he asked me if I had lube and condoms and then congratulated me on being such a good boy scout (always prepared). So at this point I hauled out the poppers. He took a couple of hits, too and it was way fun, crouching over his face, having my ass expertly eaten as men on mountain bikes whirled past us just a few yards away.

We returned to our knees again, facing each other, macking on each other mightily. I was jacking his dick, and it actually started to get rock hard, when he pushed away my hand and asked me to cum on him. I love the splatter effect of cum hitting a dude in the face and on the chest, so I was cool with doing that. Besides, I had not cum in 10 days, which is like an eternity for me. So as my climax approached, I stood over his kneeling body and blasted a huge load all over him. He reveled in it and as a finishing touch I crouched down and wacked my spent dick on his cum covered chest a few times. I don’t think he came, but at that point I didn’t care. We had both had a great time getting naked outdoors. We cleaned up, dressed and went our separate ways. I noticed then, that a cute Hispanic guy had been watching us. After the other guy went to get his bike, the Hispanic dude definitely wanted a go at me, but since I’d already cum, I thought I should just thank my stars and not be a pig about it.

Saturday, I was busy with family stuff all day. When I got home in the late afternoon, I had a few hours to kill before I had to be somewhere at 6:00 pm. I got on-line, but was not having any success. I wasn’t seeing anyone I knew or that I was interested in and the only ones hitting on my profile were guys I had no interest in (sometimes it’s a vibe thing). I was just about to sign off, when I refreshed my browser and there appeared a guy that I have played with on and off for the past five years. I hadn’t played with him for over a year and I decided to contact him. After just three exchanges we had set up a time and place to meet. I was excited, because I hadn’t been fucked in ages and I knew that he would definitely be up for doing that.

I set it up at this house I am currently rehabbing. I left the gate and front door unlocked and told him to just walk in and find me. I raced over to the house, stripped, got my supplies set up and then peaked through the blinds to see when his car pulled up. Once his car came to view I got on all fours with my ass pointed toward the door and put a blindfold on. He loved it.

This guy is a cute black bear. Very sweet, with pretty eyes, a nice furry chest, a great mouth and a nice sized dick. When we get together I usually get a little carried away with the poppers, but I was really restrained this time and only used them when he first entered me.

He walked in and immediately took off his clothes. He then kneeled behind me and placed the head of his dick on my hole. OMG. That felt incredible. His touch was very firm, but gentle. Then he toyed some more with my hole using both the head of his dick and his fingers. Finally I leaned back, turned my head and he kissed me. I had forgotten what a good kisser he is. Whenever we’re together it is always very good. We seem to be in sync with one another from the word go. The blindfold just seemed to heighten everything – my sense of touch and smell and taste, plus it had made the anticipation of his arrival absolutely heart-racing. I sucked on him, he sucked on me. Then, in the middle of a passionate kiss, I took off the blindfold. We melted into each other. He slipped on a magnum condom and took my ass slowly. It was a great fuck. I felt full and used and well, loved. When he first entered me doggy style, my dick got rock – rock hard. I was amazed and after about five minutes he had me on the edge of coming without touching myself. I eased off him and took a little break, kissing him the entire time. We changed positions. I loved looking into his eyes as I lay on my back with him pounding into me. Then we changed positions again with me riding on top of him. At this point he took a couple of hits of poppers – which always does it for me. I just love a top who takes a hit – the sound is so sexy. He stayed in me long after he came. And then kissed me and played with my balls until I shot my load. We continued to kiss for some time and then began small talk. He is so sweet.

Sunday, I got on the net in the morning for a couple of hours. Nothing was happening, which was fine, as I had a pre-arranged fuck date in the afternoon. I was going out to the country to this farm and we were going to fuck naked in the woods.

This guy is a real salt and pepper cutie: great fur, okay dick, nice body. I love his smile, his sense of adventure and his sense of humor. I arrived and we walked out to the woods together. He had pre-selected a spot and had laid out an open sleeping bag for our comfort. It was fine. He is a really nice guy, but I have to say that he is not the most relaxed kisser and the sex itself is always a bit of a struggle.

He really likes frottage, which I am cool with, but he likes to use a lot of lube, which for some reason puts me on the edge way too much. He also kind of wears me out. Whenever we complete a session I feel like I have just been beat up. He also can’t give a blow job worth shit – too much teeth – which really irritates my dick to the point where I just don’t enjoy it. But he does throw a smooth fuck. He loves to mash me face down and work his way on top of me. It feels great, but I think all that force, discomfort and odd friction robs me of my stamina.

The mosquitoes were bad, so that may have also impacted my enjoyment of the whole thing. He also doesn’t believe in fucking around standing up… always in the horizontal, which really gets old fast and limits what you can do. In any event, I had a good time. We both came and then walked back to the main house naked. He had guy working on the roof of the main house and we walked right under his gaze buck naked. We showered and after more small talk, I left. It was a nice afternoon.

Bottom line, it was a good weekend. I took Monday off from fucking, because my hole was just getting used to it again and I didn’t want to risk wearing it out. It looks better than ever and is behaving totally normally now. I am so relieved. I am not getting fucked without a condom ever again. That HPV stuff is scary stuff. I mean, I know we all have it in our systems (any sexually active individual – whether they have butt sex or not carries it)… but this is just another selling point for condoms – which I have really come to respect and enjoy. And as I’ve noted here before – they also make for easy clean up.

All-in-all, not a bad return to form; Memorial weekend was indeed memorable. It’s so nice to be back in the saddle again. I promise not to take my hole for granted and will be more choosey about my partners in the future.

More to cum… hopefully.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

It Goes Like It Goes…

It goes like it goes…

I love that song from the movie ‘Norma Rae’. It is sung by Jennifer Warnes and was written by David Shire and Norman Gimbel. It is a lovely, haunting melody paired with wistful, thought provoking lyrics. I like what it has to say… about life and acceptance.

The thing is: ‘things that are good get a little bit better and things that are bad get gone’ makes a lot of sense to me. Granted the bad doesn’t go away right away, but that is where acceptance and patience come in.

Life ebbs and flows. One day everything is wonderful, the next everything sucks. But the one thing I try to keep in mind is – everything is temporary. Good times are like men - and men are like street cars: wait long enough and another will come along.

So it is with sex and sexually adventures. I am going through a blah period. Part of this is due to the fall out of some recent biopsies and my attitude and physical state. Part of this is due to the type of men I am running into as I go hiking. I’m currently not hooking up on line. At all. The reason? It’s summer and I want to be outside. I want to wear as little clothing as possible and soak up some rays (emphasis on some – I don’t want the hide of a turtle). So my current sexual trysts are dependent upon those hiking who are also on the look out. I have four areas I like to cruise. And all four are the usual mixed bag of regulars, trolls and the occasional fresh thing.

I am trying to be more social while cruising. I wave and say hello to those I have seen before. I engage in conversation when someone stops and wants to chat. I try to remember to smile. I remind myself that not every hike is going to yield results.

Yesterday I ran into this really hot guy. He was tall, with reddish fur, a very hot body, shaved head and a big fat dick. We met on a path going opposite directions. He bulldozed past me, but I still got a good look at him. I couldn’t decide if he was on his way out of the woods or just had to take a piss. But I decided that nothing else was happening, so I turned around and retraced my steps. If my hunches were right, he was headed to this little alcove on the lake that I had just come from. It is secluded, away from the main beach and primarily used by gay guys who like to sun bathe and swim nude.

As I approached the beach I could see him standing in the middle of the cove. I stayed back on the path and watched. You never know if it’s a straight guy or someone who doesn’t want to be hit on, so I play it very low key. He’s on his cell phone talking to someone and then hangs up.

He looks good. He’s shirtless and wearing a pair of long khaki shorts. He notices me and after a few minutes, comes over to me. He’s really cute. Incredible blue eyes, very articulate and furry as hell. After minimal chit chat, he asks me if I want to get naked for a little while. He then come over and checks out my goods by pulling back the waist band of my shorts. He drops his shorts and is wearing the sexiest pair of white jockey bikinis. They make his ass and bulge look awesome. He whips out his big fatty and I am seriously impressed. And a bit nervous. I follow him back to the beach where we chat more and strip. Then he dives in the water. I wade out to my waist. The water is cold, but refreshing. And feels even better when we get out. I never dive in… it is lake water and I am a bit of a microbial-phobe.

We warm up on shore. He stands, and I sit on a rock. He just gets better looking in my eyes. We chat about politics, nature, hiking, nudity and sex. As we talk, I keep looking around, because we’re nude and that isn’t allowed in Minnesota. I interrupt the conversation at one point, because I see a streak of bright red fabric and am certain someone is on the path watching. I check it out, but no one is there. When I return he tells me his friend is on his way. I’m cool with that. The more the merrier. His friend turns out to be this younger bear type. Small dick, big gut and no fur. He has full head of hair and is very wary of me. They start to make out… and then the hot one tells me they need to get reacquainted and will be right back. They walk down the path in back of the beach a bit and stop. They suck on each other and deep kiss. The hot one keeps shooting me looks over the shoulder of his friend and I wink back. This goes on for what feels like ten minutes but was probably only five. When you’re naked outdoors time tends to slow down or something.

The come back, and tell me they will go for a dip. I take this as invitation and go get in the water. Then the hot one announces that he wants to get off before getting back in the water. So he and his friend go back to the path. I come back out of the water and watch at a bit of distance. Then I figure, what the hell. The hot one is cool with it. He lies down on his back and tells his friend to lick his balls. I position myself so I can suck his dick, which is hard and huge. It’s a beauty. But he pulls me off his dick and tells me to lick his nips. He notices I have a bottle of poppers with me and asks to use them. Nothing hotter than a dude taking a big hit of poppers, so I’m all for it. He jerks his wood and after a few minutes fires off an average load. His friend asks him how many times he’s cum that day – and the answer is two – meaning this is his third load.

The hot one asks if either of us want to get off… and neither of us is feeling it, so we wander back to the beach. They hit the water and I dress and hit the path.

As I’m heading back I run into this tall skinny dark haired twink. He starts following me and I purposely take a steep, out of the way path to determine if he wants something. He does. He follows and corners me against a tree. He’s in my shorts hauling out my dick in seconds. He just keep jerking on it. So I rub the bulge of his pants… which is a bit disappointing, because I can’t feel anything. So then he unzips and hauls that sucker out. Wow. He must have had it tucked between his legs or something. It’s huge. At least 8” and uncut. My shorts have slipped to the ground and I’m basically naked. He’s rubbing on me and jerking my dick and jerking his dick. When I make a move to suck him, he resists and I’m like cool with that. Jerking is fine with me. But then he doesn’t want me touching anything but his hole and while I probably could have gone with that, it just didn’t feel like enough. He’s nervous and suggests we go up further. I follow him. We get to the main path at the top of the hill and he pulls out his cell phone! I just take that as my cue to leave and I do. When I realize he’s not following I’m okay with that. Twinks have a limited appeal for me.

And for some reason – I was just not feeling it. It was fun. All of it… but even with the other dudes I wasn’t feeling it. I was personable, but just going through the motions. So I went home. I haven’t shot my load in 8 days and I’m okay with that.

I’m okay with it because it’s temporary. A temporary lull.

I’m sure things will get back to the norm soon. Otherwise why am I hitting the gym for over an hour five days a week? My indifference worries me a bit.

Ah, yes… it goes as it goes.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Summer Hummers

Summer is here, at last. I’m so excited. Warmer weather means more time outdoors wearing less clothing. Warmer weather means hikes in the woods with the possibility of a little something-something taking place in the bushes. The warmer the weather, the more things are sprouting, budding and leafing out. This translates to a more relaxed attitude by cruisers in general – meaning – you’re more likely to see skittish guys showing dick.

I was thinking this was going to be the summer of me taking a lot of dick up the ass, but the fates have put that whole plan on hold, for the time being. I’m just not feeling it, either. So I will have to make up for it by spending some time on my knees. Something I find just as enjoyable, except…

I’ve rather had a change of heart about the whole mercy fuck thing. I used to be certain that you had to pleasure those you didn’t find all that attractive in order to occasionally snack on someone that was out of your league. I believe it is the plethora of less than attractive guys offering up their noodle these days that has me looking at my options and frequently just opting out.

Maybe less is more. Not true, not true, says the whore in me. But what about choosing quality over quantity? The problem? Frequency. It’s just not very often that I stumble upon someone who blows my circuits who also happens to be into me. How do I know this? Well, since April 16th, 2009, I have been keeping a sex diary.

Here are my stats from 3/16/08 to 5/16/09:

45 Events
39 Guys

New Comers: 30
Repeat Business: 9

JO only: 2
Fondle only: 4
Kissing: 4
Oral only: 20
Oral and Anal: 10
Me as Top: 3
Me as Sucked: 2
Mercy Fucks (oral only): 8

Anon/Blindfolded Walk-In Scene: 6
Outdoors: 32

Exceptional: 3
Okay: 28
Bad: 8

I could break it down more for you, but I’m not in the mood. Out of those 45 events I only performed badly once (came too soon and the guy was a real jerk about it). The anal count would have been considerably higher, but in the first week of April I had an anal endoscopy and they took some biopsies. Boy, that really slowed me down. I was shut down completely for two weeks and then performed only oral after that. I even began to top on occasion or be the suckee. I’m not sure when I’ll return to full capacity. Possibly never. I was doing this really incredible scene at this house I’m currently rehabbing. Place a personals ad on occasion. I get a good number of responses. Of those, only a small percentage of those are suitable. Only a smaller percentage of those ‘get it’ – as in they dig the whole idea. The scene goes like this:

We agree on a time. You come to this house I’m rehabbing. The house is empty, no furniture. The front door will be unlocked. You enter and choose the door I am behind. There will be a blanket on the floor. I will be on it, on all fours with my ass up in the air. My ass is lubed and clean. There will be lube, condoms and wet wipes. The room is darkened via shades. I would have a blindfold on. You would remain anonymous (your call – you may also remove it at anytime during the course of play). You walk over to my raised ass and touch my hole gently. I take a hit of poppers (happy to share). You then move around to the front of me and guide your dick into my mouth. I take you deep, until you’re rock hard. You make me lick your balls, your armpits, suck on your nips... it’s all your call, your pleasure. Open to kissing as well. When you’re ready, you return to my ass. I take another hit of poppers and, after entering slowly and then building up momentum, you plow my ass big time -slamming into me until your juices burst. Use condoms. Makes for easy clean up. When you’re done, you wipe your dick on the towel provided, use a wet wipe, get up and leave.

I would love to go back ‘to work’, but I’m a bit gun shy. The first time I tried to get back into the saddle a portion of my hole puffed up like a car air bag. Not pretty. Or comfortable. So there it is. The ugly truth.

Needless to say, I have just not been that into sex recently. I worry. About my hole. About STD’s. I have come to the conclusion that poppers are only good you’re bottoming or giving oral where reciprocation is not on the table. Poppers make you come to quick. I’ve finally woken up to this fact.

So, basically… I’m depressed. I want to get big time fucked. But I’m afraid. I don’t want a puffed up hole. I don’t think any top would either.

So are my days as a whore numbered?

Well, of course they are… but am I all washed up – as of now?

Tune in tomorrow.

Friday, May 08, 2009

I Never Do Anyone Twice

Once, yes, once would be nice
Twice though loses the spice
That’s why, take my advice
And never do anyone twice…

This is my paraphrased version of Stephen Sondhiem’s ‘I Never Do Anything Twice’. It is a cute little ditty about the dangers of revisiting an experience that once yielded pleasure, advising the listener that a return to the well will only yield diminished returns and risk tainting one’s memory of the first time.

Something experienced for the first time is infused with the nuances of anticipation, a lack of knowing, and a modicum of basic fear, that a second time around the merry-go-round can’t hope to duplicate. You can’t repeat a first time experience. You can repeat the experience, but it will end up being a different experience. Keep in mind that your memory banks stored the information garnered during that first time and that the knowledge gained will end up coloring and informing your second visit. It won’t be the same as your first time, because it isn’t your first time.

Some things are best left in the past. Some things don’t bear repeating. Usually this is because you didn’t enjoy it the first time. But what about those times you did enjoy? What about those times when it was absolutely magical?

There is no such thing as magic. Something can seem magical. But there is no magic. It comes down to circumstance, conditions, luck and skill.

This is very true of sex. Yes, the basic mechanics are always the same, but never underestimate the power of individual chemistry, good lighting, a coincidentally timed song or the power of a skilled lover. A combination of all four striking at the same moment will leave you breathless with bombs bursting in air. That mesh of energies and happenstance is potent. Once experienced, it is what makes the idea of sex as intoxicating as the act itself.

But just because lightening strikes once, I don’t think it is fair to assume that – even if circumstances and conditions remain exactly the same – that it will strike twice. So I have a general rule:

I never do anyone twice.

Yes, there are exceptions to the rule. A meeting of the minds and bodies or the possibility of some unexplored future pleasure will bring me back to the table. But in general, I avoid creating the familiar. It’s not that familiarity breeds contempt… it just bores me. I live for the spark of the new, the undiscovered, the unknown. A little fear is good for the libido.

So, I’ve avoided repeat business. Sometimes it’s because I wasn’t that thrilled the first time around and sometimes it’s because whatever happened was exceptional and I would hate to taint its memory. So I let it go. I let it live in my memory.

What? You think I have intimacy issues? Not so. I am more open with people than I perhaps should be. I love kissing. Physical intimacy is not an issue. Even emotional intimacy, with a strict understanding of its scope and shelf life, is a real turn on. Emotional intimacy makes for the best role play. But you can only have that if shared by two, self-aware adults. Immaturity and inexperience can render such play devastating.

Also: I have established intimate relationships. I have only so much room, time and energy for them. If I’m guilty of anything it’s knowing my limitations and compartmentalizing my life.

The latter is probably the reason that my life is not a complete success. I can’t multi-task. I also can’t synthesize. Synergy escapes me. I like everything separate. I love a good goulash, but my life cannot operate in such chaos. I tend to, through a process of elimination, eventually find a process that works for me; one that brings about the desired results with enough frequency and potency to make the execution of said process worth my while. So, while I must admit I am a little exacting and didactic about the pursuit of sex for pleasure’s sake, I also must confess that there is something much more organic to the whole procedure – something that escapes me and is probably frequently mistaken for magic. Sort of like making a good a hotdish; good, individual ingredients are mixed together and stew/bake side by side creating entirely new and original flavors. You can’t force it to happen, it just does. Or it doesn’t. But through process of trial and error you eventually find something that works on a consistent enough basis to be worthy of pursuit.

Well, via trial and error, I have learned that not having sex with someone more than once works well for me and my life. It’s also a great way to let someone down when they come knocking on your door wanting a repeat performance.

Are there exceptions? Yes. I currently have three guys I have happily visited multiple times and the relationships have been ongoing for more than two years each. They’re rewarding relationships. They aren’t relationships in the usual sense. We have sex. That is the extent of relationship. We get together, we have sex, we go home. Pleasantries are exchanged. We are witty, we flirt, we divulge, we orgasm, we go home. There are no strings. There are no expectations. It is what it is while it is and then… we go home.

Is it good sex? Usually. Or some kink that needs to be scratched on the parts of both parties (so-to-speak). There is some emotional connection. It is not forced. It is not out of desperation or need or lack of alternatives. It just happens. And while the mechanics and composition of each of these relationships could be dissected and discerned, I don’t see the value in doing so. To do so would breach the rules of common sense.

Sometimes I take the Wizard’s advice: I choose to ignore what’s going on behind the curtain.

Is it healthy? For me, yes. I make it work for me. It doesn’t work or make much sense to others. It’s easy to say I lack emotional depth or that I have intimacy issues or that I’m a sex addict. But I actually can counter and offer evidence to the contrary – at least in the first two issues raised.

I simply crave new experiences. There are parts of my life that tie me down. I can't move. I don't have a lot of freedom. I have a limited means to seek out those new experiences – so I grow where I’ve been planted. And until those activities have a negative impact on my life or cease to be pleasurable, I am more than happy to...

...never do anyone twice.

Friday, May 01, 2009

The All-Purpose Slut/Sex Kit: For Homos on the Go!

I never used to have a sex kit. I thought those that did were hard core sluts. I’ve changed my mind about that (since I am a sort of slut myself).

First of all, there is the convenience factor. It’s nice to have the right stuff on hand. Secondly, it appeals to the boy scout in me: be prepared, because you never know… Thirdly, there is the matter of hygiene: cleanliness is next to godliness (it also helps improve your chances of getting laid). Yes, I know there are those of you who like a skanky, smelly body, but you’re a minority. The majority want nice, clean fun; which is what my sex kit is all about.

In a discreet pocket of your computer bag / brief case:

Condoms: Two Sizes

In a less discreet pocket of your computer bag /brief case:

Wet Wipes
Travel Size Toothpaste
Breath Mints / Listerine Spray
Hand Sanitizer
Fingernail Clipper
Chap Stick
Band Aids / First Aid Antibiotic
Small Pad of Paper / Pen
Black Sharpie
A Baseball Cap/Sunglasses
Water in a Plastic Bottle
Sun Block (in summer)

In the trunk of your car keep:

A Pair of Jeans
A Pair of Tennis Shoes / Hiking Boots
A T-Shirt
A Sweatshirt (long sleeve)
A Pair of Underwear
A Pair of Socks
A Light Jacket or Hoodie
A Blanket
Extra Water in Plastic Bottles
A Towel
A Wash Cloth

Okay, I’ll explain the reason for these items in a moment.

But first: A Hard And Fast Rule About You and Outdoor Sex:

I believe in the old camping adage: You take with you what you brought in. Leave no trace behind. That means: pick up after yourself. Don’t leave wet wipes, condoms, condom wrappers, old popper bottles, etc. behind. It’s littering, which is never cool. It also invites the wrath of Mother Nature (she don’t like it). It also calls attention to the activities that take place in a given area which invites the attention of law enforcement and overly-concerned, prudish citizens (Yes, won’t somebody think of the children?). Be a good sport and pick up after yourself. Dispose of your trash appropriately. Otherwise… you’re a douche bag.

Okay, off my soap box. Now onto the countdown… uh, list of items.

Keep these items in a discreet place:

Condoms: Two Sizes
Yes, two sizes: regular and those for the big boys. Yes, condoms, because they make for easy clean up, are hygienic and help reduce your chances of catching an STD. Yes, condoms. Say yes to condoms.

I like small bottles for in-house use. Once you find a small bottle you like, just use it as a refill bottle. That way you can buy the larger amounts at a cheaper cost and still have the convenience of the small bottle.

For outdoor use the little individual, single use are nice, because they fit in your pocket and not so nice, because the create waste (excess packaging) and you usually need more lube than a single packet contains.

Along the same lines, I like to keep a bottle of baby oil gel with me. I use this to prep my hole for douching. It also makes for kick ass mutual JO sauce. It smells nice, too.

This of course is totally optional. I like to carry a 3 inch strip of white terry cloth. I cut it / tore it from a gym towel. It is soft and washable and ties easily around the head. It’s convenient and stores nice. Some people prefer sleep masks. Whatever works.

Optional. I like them. I probably always will. I’ve written before about my concerns about popper use, but until my fears are affirmed I will continue to use them. I buy the small bottles. They tend to get old fast, but the size is a matter of convenience: easy to carry and conceal. I worry about the day a cop stops and asks to see what is in my pocket. Other than for sex, why would you carry the things? Will they confiscate them? Will they order me to leave the park? Yes and yes. Is it illegal? No. I always carry to bottles with me. Because you never know.

Optional. I like them. I like the rubber rings. They’re fun and easy to conceal and carry. Don’t wear them hiking for long periods of time, though. They chafe.

You can carry these items in the open. Their presence in your computer bag / brief case will just make you seem like a hygienic person:

Wet Wipes
I like two kinds. I like diaper wipes. I like Kleenex wet wipes. A package is only a buck, but there is the issue of portability. They will add a lot of bulge to your pockets, so the individual use ones become the wise choice for the outdoor enthusiast. As with the lube, individual packets of wipes create waste (excess packaging) and you usually need more than a single packet. Yes, sad truth is, outdoor sex can be messy.

I still bring along the larger wipes. That’s for clean-up after the fact. Popping into the porta potty for a good wipe down is always a good idea. You can do this to a lesser extent seated in your car. I just think a good wipe down is important. Killing germs is a good idea. Oddly enough, I like Lysol brand 4 in 1’s. I know they are meant for kitchen counters… but I like the tube the come in, their size and the texture/material they are made out of.

Makes sense. You eat during the day. You drink coffee. To make your mouth appealing and smile clean, you will need to brush. Use toothpaste or the Listerine. Both make for good hygiene. And brush your tongue! It should be an appealing pink/red, not coated with dairy products.

Travel Size Toothpaste
See above. I suggest travel size for the convenience: it takes up less room in your bag.

Why Listerine? Because it really works. Don’t mess with those fancy kinds – orange, mint, etc. Screw that. Get down to basics. You want it to work. It will help keep you healthy and STD free. Remember, don’t just rinse your mouth – also gargle. Get it deep down your throat (especially if you’ve swallowed and/or are planning on hunting for more). Don’t swallow it though (the Listerine, I mean). It will give you acid tummy. As for my claims re: the prevention of STDs: I don’t know for a fact that this is true. I consider Listerine the cocksuckers holy water; Does it do any good? Who knows, but it will make you feel better.

It will also give you pleasant, all-be-it, medicine-y breath. But I will take that over cigarette, day-old-garlic, or fish breath.

Listerine frequently offers a small bottle if you purchase a large bottle. Hang on to that small bottle and use it as refill bottle. They travel great and the caps really lock tight. And make sure you lock it tight, otherwise… oh, man… what a mess. And the smell. Yeah, make sure you lock it tight.

Breath Mints / Listerine Spray
I don’t like mints much. They tend to coat the tongue. I like a clean tongue. The Listerine Spray is nice. It comes in these little plastic pumps. With each pump you get a blast of intense flavor (kind of like Binaca Blast of old). I like the mint. I use this when I don’t have time to gargle, am out of gargle, or to cover up the smell of gargle.

Hand Sanitizer
This stuff is basically rubbing alcohol in gel form. It is nice to have. Not so handy to carry.

For those popper hangovers and occasional muscle discomfort.

Fingernail Clipper
Because men should not have long finger nails. And long fingernails leave to scratches. And long finger nails… ick. Clip your nails. I once had a boyfriend who like to keep his nails longer than I thought appropriate. If he had kept his nails clean and trimmed, maybe he would still be my boyfriend. (No… no, he wouldn’t.)

Chap Stick
Dry lips are not attractive and make for bad blow jobs and kisses. Keep your lips healthy.
Band Aids / First Aid Antibiotic
Because you never know.

Small Pad of Paper / Pen
Helpful when exchanging phone numbers, email addresses and/or insurance information. Also handy if you need to write down a license plate number. Because you never know.

Black Sharpie
Works best when leaving messages on restroom and porta-potty walls. I don't condone graffiti, but I do like restroom messages and erotic drawings.

A Baseball Cap / Sunglasses
Because you never know when the local news station is working on a story for sweeps week. Also, in the event of a bad hair day (if you have hair). Also in the event that you have no hair.

Parking meters, parking meters, parking meters, vending machines (at rest stops), vending machines (at rest stops), and pay phones. Also keep cash in your billfold and always, always leave your billfold (hidden well) in your locked car. You never know who you may be tricking with... and you should never pay for sex. Nor should money ever be stolen from you. I don't speak from personal experience. I'm just cautious.

Water in a Plastic Bottle
Ummm… this is for thirst, yes. But it can also provide a good douche. Hmmm… that may be a topic for another post. But carry water. In a crunchable, plastic bottle.

Sun Block (in summer)
This is a no-brainer. Plus it enables you to stay outdoors for a longer period of time without risking over exposure.

In the trunk of your car keep:

A Pair of Jeans
A Pair of Tennis Shoes / Hiking Boots
A T-Shirt
A Sweatshirt (long sleeve)
A Pair of Underwear
A Pair of Socks
A Light Jacket or Hoodie

All of these items make sense, yes? Especially if you like to hike in the woods after work and your office insists on business attire. Change in the front seat of your car. It’s why god made slip on dress loafers. Be sure to wash these items from time to time.

A Blanket
In case you want to sunbathe. Or lie in the tall grass (very romantic). Make sure to wash this item from time to time.

Extra Water in Plastic Bottles
See above.

A Towel
A Wash Clothe

Because wet wipes can really do only so much. And nothing beats a nice wet wash clothe. And… you never know. In the event someone runs off with your clothes, you can wear the towel home. Be sure to wash these items from time to time.

Well, that covers it. If you have any other suggestions for the list, let me know. Happy to add them and I would love additional pointers. A slut is never to old to turn new tricks… umm… I mean, learn new tricks.