Wednesday's Question Of The Day: Other People's Traits

Wednesday's Question Of The Day:

Other People's Traits

Hump day? Well, I'll give you something to ponder.

Yes, it's time for Wednesday's Question Of The Day.

Each Wednesday, a new question to give you the opportunity to do a bit of self-examination.  Think of it as a way of getting to know all about you and a chance to learn a little more about me. 

That's right. You know me; spill that tea! For I am the king of over-sharing!

Oh, and please leave your responses in the comments section. 

Why, think of this as a little blogging kiki!

Okay! Ready, set... 

Here's today's question:

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Rudeness which stems from a misguided sense of privilege and unearned entitlement. 

That covers it all. 

The littering. They way they empty their cars of fast food wrappers and used diapers by stopping in front of your house and leaving it all on your boulevard, even though there's a trash can less than two feet away. The not stopping at stop signs. The driving and parking in the bike lanes. The way they ignore speed limits and think you're the problem because you try obey them. The cutting in line. The way people mishandle the merchandise in stores. The way they never clean up after themselves - somebody else will do it.  The way it's always somebody else's fault. The way they think phones are more important than flesh and blood people. The way they will keep you waiting, because your time isn't as valuable as theirs. The little power games they play. The way they play music or a movie or a television program loudly in a public space. The way they roar their dirt bike up and down the street. The lies they tell in order to justify their behavior. The way they offer an opinion no one asked for. The way they think that repeating something often enough will make it the truth. The assumptions they make. The things they do in order to feel superior. 

Their belief that winning is everything and must be accomplished by any means possible. And that anything... anything... is justifiable - if they win.

It's all rude. Uncivil. Deplorable. 

I'm tired of it. I do my best to avoid others at all costs. 

Again... I'm simply tired. Tired of bad behavior. 

I want to live in my basement and only come out if there is the promise of gin.

For all the above reasons I hate shopping, hate driving, hate eating out, hate travelling, hate going anywhere I have not been before, hate doing people favors, hate meeting new people. 

Hate is a strong word. Yet, I don't hesitate to use it in this case. 

I wish I could opt out. I wish it didn't bother me. I wish I didn't care. 

But every time there's an incident... I feel like a little piece of me dies.

Relatively, I don't have all that much time left on this planet. 

So I'd rather not lose precious time dealing with other people's agendas, mind games, follies, picadilloes, selfish wants and assumed needs.

Yes.

I'm burnt out. 

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I have to go get ready. 

I believe someone mentioned there might be a gin martini in the offing. 

--- ---

Bad Behavior - Mexican Dubwiser 

feat. Myron Glasper, Ulises Lozano, Billy Gould

Weekend Onesie: STFU, Uptonking

Weekend Onesie: STFU, Uptonking

The question posed was... "Do you want your life?"

My response was: "Don't you threaten me."

And his reply was: "Do you want your life?"

As he sped away, I was physically shaking and wondering...

When did it come to this?

Just over two years ago, when the Covid-19 pandemic began to be taken seriously and I began to work from home, I took the opportunity to enrich not only my life, but that of my 13 year-old dog, Hercules, by taking him on a daily walk before heading over to The Boyfriend's house to work out and check on the cats. 

It was a win/win. Hercules got some much needed stimulation and exercise, while I got to check out the neighborhood and get some fresh air.

At the same time, our radical city council decided that they had heard enough complaints from their constituents and that it was time to do something about all the cars speeding through residential neighborhoods, endangering the lives of pedestrians and children playing. 

They lowered the speed limit to 20 mph. 

Signs began to appear everywhere: '20 Is Plenty.'

It seems the members of the Minneapolis City Council believed that the way to get people who were driving 40 and 45 miles an hour through residential streets where the speed limit was posted at 30 was to lower that speed limit to 20. 

But you know what happened instead?

People got pissed off. And now, instead of going a mere 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, they decided to go 30 miles an hour over the speed limit. It was their way of saying, 'you're not going to tell me what to do.'

Now, about this same time, George Floyd was killed over in South Minneapolis. The council acted swiftly: 'Defund The Police' became their new battle cry. All the resulting turmoil led to a mass exodus from the MPD. Some retired early. Some simple walked off the job. Suddenly, we have 300 plus less officers patrolling our neighborhoods.

This meant we now had new laws, but no one to enforce them. 

So? No police presence. Check. Angry people who do not give a fuck. Check. 

Growing up, I was taught, if you see something - say something - do something. So, when I see people racing down the street while walking my dog, I yell at them, "Slow down!"

Most ignore it. And for the longest time, that is the way things remained. 

But I must have gotten a taste for playing neighborhood traffic monitor, for, before I knew it, if I saw speeder, and I was driving (the speed limit, because, it turns out I like driving 20 mph,) I'd give my horn a little tap. And if they ran a stop sign? Why, I'd lay on that horn a little harder. 

Sometimes I'd get a response. Words I don't like to type, but for the sake of this post, I will. 

Hercules and I pass through two crosswalks where there are stop signs posted. I can't tell you the number of times a car would be approaching as Herc and I would be stepping into the street, only for me to have to rapidly yank Hercules, who typically walks a few feet ahead of me, back to the curb because  - turns out that car was not interested in doing the right thing.

I began to say something to those people as well. Only, I never yelled it, I would simply speak it. "You had a stop sign."

About three weeks ago, it was a nice day, a man, with his car windows rolled down, decides not to stop, and I yank Hercules back to the curb. He turns to the left and as he does, I say, in a normal speaking voice, "You had a stop sign." 

He stops. 

"What did you say?"

I repeat what I had just said.

"I did. I did stop."

"No. No, you didn't. You almost hit my dog."

"Fuck you."

"Just stop at the stop sign next time, okay."

"You want your life?"

And time stands still. 

This is about stopping at a stop sign. That seems like a bit of an over reaction. I decide, 'this is ridiculous.'

"Don't you threaten me."

He begins to speed away, and yells, again... "Do you want your life?"

I immediately think of the baseball coach who lost his life in a road rage a year ago because he tapped on his horn when an SUV began to drift into his lane. The driver of that SUV pulled out a gun and killed the man, point blank. The driver of the SUV was just convicted of first degree murder and is awaiting sentencing. 

When I tell The Ex and my mother about the incident, their reactions do not surprise me. 

"You have to keep your mouth shut!"

My work wife agrees. 

And so, I try. 

But there I am at a neighborhood intersection. My direction has no stop signs, but those that cross it from the other way do. I am halfway in the intersection and a couple step off the curb to cross in front of me, so I wait. I don't inch forward, that's rude. I wait. A car approaches to my right. They have a stop sign. He pauses, sort of, but then moves to continue. The people are in the middle of the walkway. I am in the middle of the intersection. I tap my horn and indicate that I am waiting. He looks at me quizzically. "You have a stop sign," I say. 

The couple has reached the other side and I move through the intersection.

The car that I honked my horn at follows me. I pull over and he sidles up to me. He is super angry. Calling me every name in the book. I raise my palms to the sky, as if to say, 'what is the big deal?' 

He drives away.

Two days later, I am in my car, in front of The Boyfriend's house, just pulling away from the curve. His house is only three houses down from the corner. This same vehicle whips around that corner, onto the street I'm driving on. As he passes, I say, out my open car window, "Slow down!" 

I drive to the corner. Come to a full stop. Make a right turn, travel the length of the block and come to another stop sign. I come to a full stop. I turn right, heading for home. Here, barreling toward me, is that same little white car. I'm going about 18 mph when he pulls up beside me and screams, "fuck you, you fucking bitch..."

I don't stop. As I drive past him I say, "Just slow down."

Fortunately, he doesn't do an illegal U-turn and follow me. 

As I write this, I realize, any one of these scenarios could have ended very badly... for me. For my loved ones. 

So, I am going to take the advice I have been given. 

I am going to STFU. 

Because I realized: I am not the neighborhood traffic monitor. And people who have so little regard for the rules and the safety of others, have no regard for my life. To them? My life means nothing. 

So?

Do I want my life?

Yes.

Yes, I would like to keep my life, thank you very much.

Silence Is Golden - The Tremeloes

Wonderland Burlesque's Under Your Skin Quiz

Wonderland Burlesque's

Under Your Skin Quiz

These days...

What get's your goat? What irks you?

Today's quiz is all about those little pet peeves that we keep to ourselves (unless we don't.)

Oh, don't worry... I've decided to not make this personal, as in, we won't nitpick about our families or significant others. All topics will be strictly task and entertainment oriented.

So, spill it, dear. I really want to know!

What gets under your skin when it comes to...? 

1/ Cooking?

I suffer from brain fog in the kitchen; unable to connect one task to the next or remember where the utensil is that I need. Therefore, I resort to hand gestures until I'm able to come up with the name of what it is I require. Example, if I need a serrated edged knife, I make a sawing gesture. Kitchen scissors? Snip, snip, snip through the air.  A ladle? A big scooping motion. Etc. I feel odd catching myself in the act, but it does seem to help me.

I feel like Guy Pearce in that movie, Momento - where every day his memory is erased so he keeps tattooing reminders and messages on his body, using his body as if he's a human post-it note.

I'm not sure what the disconnect is all about. I do know I'm frequently over-caffeinated and tired, due to work and having just come from a visit with my mother. I make myself cook, because I know what I like to eat and I try to eat rather healthy. But my brain doesn't cooperate at all. And, midway through preparations, I frequently feel quite defeated. 

My other pet peeve? It takes me an hour plus to prepare a meal and only ten minutes to consume it. That's not right! I really feel it should be the other way around.  

2/ Cleaning House?

Sigh. My nemesis: cat hair on porcelain. 

It's stubborn. And seems to multiply as you're cleaning. I will assume, after four all-encompassing swipes at the sink (with long rinses between,) that I am done - but, lo and behold, several cat hairs will appear. 

I waste a lot of water and after wiping things down a sixth time, I'll begin to curse and promise myself that I am through cleaning... forever.  

There must be a solution, but I haven't found it yet. I tried wiping the surfaces with a dry towel before spraying it down with cleaning solution. I thought it helped, but... not really. 

If you have a solution that works? Leave it in the comments section. Please!

3/ Shopping?

There's a lot not to like these days. The prices! Oy, vey. Picked over produce. Ugh. Other people. Bah.

But empty shelves are the worst. Where's the stuff?

Seriously, the other day, I reached for the strawberries and there were only two picked over containers left. No pineapples to be found. Even the grapes looked as if they'd been picked over thoroughly. 

I know they are understaffed, and you hear about supply chain issues, but... really? This late in the game? 

If I lived in Russia I would expect this sort of thing...

Oh.

Now I get it.

4/ Driving or Public Transit?

People who don't stop for stop signs.

This is a basic skill all drivers need to perform in order to get a license, so, why does everybody fail so miserably at it? 

When I see it? I let them have it. I toot my horn and yell at them.

I want to believe that this makes a difference, but, fact is... if they can ignore that big red sign and breeze right through it? They most certainly can completely ignore that angry little man in the tiny blue car. 

I keep thinking - one day they will get theirs. But, know what? That would involve them hitting another vehicle, such as... oh, let's say a certain little blue car.

That's my luck. 

5/ Traveling?

Airports rather terrify me. It's not just the mass of people. It's the indifference of all the people employed there. Why aren't there people around to ask questions and tell you where you need to go? 

I am very lazy. I do not want to have to figure out how to get through security or where my gate might be. I want to be told where to go. I take orders really well. 

It may well be a case of anxiety blindness, but nothing strikes me as obvious in airports. It's no different than being on the phone in a customer service situation - sometimes, you just need to talk to a human being. I trust the word of a human being over my ability to interpret signage. In such an environment, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and over-stimulated. When in such a state? I do not make good decisions. 

I want the ability to answer questions and receive information via another human being. 

Yes... I need that human touch.

6/ Museums?

Their weird cafes? Their eclectic gift shops? The prison guard demeanor of the gallery attendants? The outrageous additional fee they charge to see their special limited-time exhibit?

All of these are troublesome features of almost every museum I have visited. 

But my biggest pet peeve? 

Children.

No.

They never behave. They are never silent. They are always loud.

I go to a museum to escape the world. I want the quiet. I want the air to be devoid of the aural detritus of the outside world. 

And... if it is not a children's museum? Then, I do not want to hear or see or deal with children. 

There should be kids-free days at museums.  Are there?

No, not the kind where kids get in free... but where the museum is free of kids.

7/ Music?

Modern radio is a mess. So homogenized and boring. You do get to listen to say eight songs in a row with minor interruptions, but then are subjected to a bank of commercials that go on for far too long - so long, they repeat themselves!

I miss local disc jockeys. I miss having a relationship with an individual who spins records tailored to their individual tastes. 

I despise talk radio. I don't like 'morning shows.'  They are so white and privileged and very white male-oriented. Yes, there is a female co-host, but she's sort of a hollow joke of a human being there to make the white guy look good. They are always so subservient and deferential. Blech.

I don't find anything they prattle on about relatable or of interest. If they do discuss a hot topic, it is only in the shallowest of terms and they are typically on the wrong side of everything. They're ciphers. I don't share or enjoy their faux laughter and gaiety. Nor do I find their contests and insights entertaining in the least. They all sound like they are shilling some service or provider for personal financial gain. I don't trust them. 

But their worst crime? They are boring. So inoffensive, that I take offense. 

Constantly appealing to as many people as possible while employing lowest common denominator rhetoric? Puerile drivel. 

8/ Movies?

Everyone is so privileged. Even those who complain about their lack of privilege are still, in reality, pretty damn privileged. 

If I see one more homogenized, whitewashed black family living a suburban nightmare I will scream.

All the houses are perfect. Everyone dresses well. All the jobs are so... effortless and sterile and white collar. 

I know reality rarely finds its way onto the big screen... but I wonder, what is Hollywood trying to sell me? 

To want? To desire what I see? To crave a plastic, hollow, shallow world devoid of any real meaning? 

And then, there is the unreality that is presented. Much of the humor I see is derived from the outcome of people willfully making bad choices and doing terrible things. Small wonder that we live in a world where people do terrible things without thinking about the consequences, for that is what passes for humor and reality in films. 

People do emulate what they see or are told. This goes all the way back to the origins of storytelling. Aesop's Fables? They were meant to serve as a guide. This constitutes good behavior. This is what happens when you behave badly. 

Somewhere along the line being amoral became 'cool.'

Why isn't Hollywood telling better stories? Is it because they have a proven track record which demonstrates that when they do try to tell better stories, people won't watch? 

Does that mean at their very core, people are simply bad?

Or do I have it backwards? Are movies a symptom, a reflection of human kind's true nature? Bad films made by morally bankrupt, truly awful human beings? 

At what point do we stop laughing? Or are we content to be terrible human beings?

9/ Television Programs?

I have been watching Difficult People on Hulu. It's basically Seinfeld boiled down to two, terrible self-serving, amoral, myopic human beings who want to break into show biz in a big way. 

For one episode, they bring on Sandra Bernhardt to play the leader of a Jewish female clique which houses a number of entertainment powerhouses. After watching the episode, I had to ask myself:

Why have a guest star like Sandra Bernhardt and not make the episode about Sandra Bernhardt?

Instead, it was a regular episode totally focusing on the bad choices being made by these two horrific wannabes. Sandra Bernhardt is a powerful presence. She has history. She has charisma. She is New York in an Armani suit. They waste her. Anyone could have played that role. So, why didn't the writers actually write something for Sandra Bernhardt? To do. Instead, her character is merely a plot point. She's there for the big denouncement. 

And anybody could have done that. Why have a special guest star if show is not about their character and that character's effects on the regular characters?  It was such a wasted opportunity. I felt bad for Sandra - I mean, yes, she got a paycheck and she traded on her name and fame (as did the series,) but I really felt angry with the two stars of the show for not recognizing the opportunity they'd been give and wasting it making it all about them, as per usual, as per... every episode of the series. 

You could fault the writers, but, hey... they are just taking their orders from the producers and the stars of the program.

So, I guess this is a case of real life playing out on the screen. The two stars are just as self-serving and myopic as the terrible human beings their portraying. Art imitates life? 

Bah.

10/ The Internet / Social Media?

So much not to like. Influencers? Ugh. YouTube Stars? Blech. I'm so glad I'm not part of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. I'd have no life. No time. 

I think blogging, buying stuff on eBay and Amazon and doing my banking is my whole internet thing. I do a lot of research on-line, but have had good luck when doing so. 

I don't know that I have a complaint. Pop-up blocker takes care of annoying ads. The ones on YouTube are a necessary evil. 

You know what is not necessary? Politicians should not have twitter accounts. They should not have websites. They should not be allowed to exploit their office in order to add to their fame or bank account. If something is not done, I fear we will end up with more MTG's, Hawthorn's and Boebert's - mindless, empty-headed noise boxes that are only in it for the fame and fortune. 

A self-serving politician is a bad politician. That is not why they were elected.. 

I don't care how popular you are on Instagram... you are not running for homecoming queen, dear. You're there to serve your constituents - all your constituents (not just the ones who 'think' - and I'm not sure that is the right word to describe what you do - like you do.) You're there to create policy and bring into being a better world for all of us. 

You remove those electronic distraction, who knows? Maybe something might actually get done. 

Bahahahahaha... oh... jeeze. 

Come, on, dear... smell the Folgers!

We all know that's never gonna happen.

--- ---

And that's enough of me.

Sorry if this got a little negative. Didn't know I owned that many soapboxes. 

Okay, your turn. Leave your answers in the comments section. Love to hear what you're thinking these days. 

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating!

I've Got You Under My Skin

Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga

Under My Skin - Peter Jöback

I Got You Under My Skin - Neenah Cherry