Weekend Onesie: STFU, Uptonking

Weekend Onesie: STFU, Uptonking

The question posed was... "Do you want your life?"

My response was: "Don't you threaten me."

And his reply was: "Do you want your life?"

As he sped away, I was physically shaking and wondering...

When did it come to this?

Just over two years ago, when the Covid-19 pandemic began to be taken seriously and I began to work from home, I took the opportunity to enrich not only my life, but that of my 13 year-old dog, Hercules, by taking him on a daily walk before heading over to The Boyfriend's house to work out and check on the cats. 

It was a win/win. Hercules got some much needed stimulation and exercise, while I got to check out the neighborhood and get some fresh air.

At the same time, our radical city council decided that they had heard enough complaints from their constituents and that it was time to do something about all the cars speeding through residential neighborhoods, endangering the lives of pedestrians and children playing. 

They lowered the speed limit to 20 mph. 

Signs began to appear everywhere: '20 Is Plenty.'

It seems the members of the Minneapolis City Council believed that the way to get people who were driving 40 and 45 miles an hour through residential streets where the speed limit was posted at 30 was to lower that speed limit to 20. 

But you know what happened instead?

People got pissed off. And now, instead of going a mere 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, they decided to go 30 miles an hour over the speed limit. It was their way of saying, 'you're not going to tell me what to do.'

Now, about this same time, George Floyd was killed over in South Minneapolis. The council acted swiftly: 'Defund The Police' became their new battle cry. All the resulting turmoil led to a mass exodus from the MPD. Some retired early. Some simple walked off the job. Suddenly, we have 300 plus less officers patrolling our neighborhoods.

This meant we now had new laws, but no one to enforce them. 

So? No police presence. Check. Angry people who do not give a fuck. Check. 

Growing up, I was taught, if you see something - say something - do something. So, when I see people racing down the street while walking my dog, I yell at them, "Slow down!"

Most ignore it. And for the longest time, that is the way things remained. 

But I must have gotten a taste for playing neighborhood traffic monitor, for, before I knew it, if I saw speeder, and I was driving (the speed limit, because, it turns out I like driving 20 mph,) I'd give my horn a little tap. And if they ran a stop sign? Why, I'd lay on that horn a little harder. 

Sometimes I'd get a response. Words I don't like to type, but for the sake of this post, I will. 

Hercules and I pass through two crosswalks where there are stop signs posted. I can't tell you the number of times a car would be approaching as Herc and I would be stepping into the street, only for me to have to rapidly yank Hercules, who typically walks a few feet ahead of me, back to the curb because  - turns out that car was not interested in doing the right thing.

I began to say something to those people as well. Only, I never yelled it, I would simply speak it. "You had a stop sign."

About three weeks ago, it was a nice day, a man, with his car windows rolled down, decides not to stop, and I yank Hercules back to the curb. He turns to the left and as he does, I say, in a normal speaking voice, "You had a stop sign." 

He stops. 

"What did you say?"

I repeat what I had just said.

"I did. I did stop."

"No. No, you didn't. You almost hit my dog."

"Fuck you."

"Just stop at the stop sign next time, okay."

"You want your life?"

And time stands still. 

This is about stopping at a stop sign. That seems like a bit of an over reaction. I decide, 'this is ridiculous.'

"Don't you threaten me."

He begins to speed away, and yells, again... "Do you want your life?"

I immediately think of the baseball coach who lost his life in a road rage a year ago because he tapped on his horn when an SUV began to drift into his lane. The driver of that SUV pulled out a gun and killed the man, point blank. The driver of the SUV was just convicted of first degree murder and is awaiting sentencing. 

When I tell The Ex and my mother about the incident, their reactions do not surprise me. 

"You have to keep your mouth shut!"

My work wife agrees. 

And so, I try. 

But there I am at a neighborhood intersection. My direction has no stop signs, but those that cross it from the other way do. I am halfway in the intersection and a couple step off the curb to cross in front of me, so I wait. I don't inch forward, that's rude. I wait. A car approaches to my right. They have a stop sign. He pauses, sort of, but then moves to continue. The people are in the middle of the walkway. I am in the middle of the intersection. I tap my horn and indicate that I am waiting. He looks at me quizzically. "You have a stop sign," I say. 

The couple has reached the other side and I move through the intersection.

The car that I honked my horn at follows me. I pull over and he sidles up to me. He is super angry. Calling me every name in the book. I raise my palms to the sky, as if to say, 'what is the big deal?' 

He drives away.

Two days later, I am in my car, in front of The Boyfriend's house, just pulling away from the curve. His house is only three houses down from the corner. This same vehicle whips around that corner, onto the street I'm driving on. As he passes, I say, out my open car window, "Slow down!" 

I drive to the corner. Come to a full stop. Make a right turn, travel the length of the block and come to another stop sign. I come to a full stop. I turn right, heading for home. Here, barreling toward me, is that same little white car. I'm going about 18 mph when he pulls up beside me and screams, "fuck you, you fucking bitch..."

I don't stop. As I drive past him I say, "Just slow down."

Fortunately, he doesn't do an illegal U-turn and follow me. 

As I write this, I realize, any one of these scenarios could have ended very badly... for me. For my loved ones. 

So, I am going to take the advice I have been given. 

I am going to STFU. 

Because I realized: I am not the neighborhood traffic monitor. And people who have so little regard for the rules and the safety of others, have no regard for my life. To them? My life means nothing. 

So?

Do I want my life?

Yes.

Yes, I would like to keep my life, thank you very much.

Silence Is Golden - The Tremeloes