Warning... this is an adult site. If reading or viewing things about what gay men do sexually with one another bothers you - you should not read this blog. This blog is a reflection of my adventures and thoughts. Some are fun, some not so pretty. I won't name names, or kiss and tell... but I will live to tell. And baby, trust me - I am gonna spill it all over your pretty little party dress. Enjoy!
In the mood for some dance-floor filling sounds...
I must say, you are in for quite the treat.
Up first? A bit of text book Ibiza with a chorus you're sure to crave, rave it up with Dust from Alan Walker and Robin Packalen.
Then, bringing his distinctive sound to the club with a true diva in tow, it's that titanium pairing of David Guetta and Sia with the sonically-sublime throb of Beautiful People.
And finally, with more cooks in the kitchen than a five star restaurant and serving up something just as tasty, we haveMeduza, Inellea, Genesi featuring Nu-La with the sensuously churning club-thumper Edge Of The World.
All in all, a trio of destined to be dancefloor classics.
Beautiful people say 'yes', indeed!
Midweek hump?
Feeling in the dumps?
Here's some music to make your heart jump!
- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque
Dust - Alan Walker and Robin Packalen
Beautiful People - David Guetta and Sia
Edge Of The World - Meduza, Inellea, Genesi feat. Nu-La
You ever listen to a song for the first time and instantly dislike it? As in, you never want to hear that song again? But the song persists and the next time it winds its way into your ear canals you do a one-eighty and suddenly you can't get enough of it? Well, that's pretty much the case with today's Who Did It Better? selection. When A certain future diva listened to a song a second time, she ended up having a huge change of heart... and one of the biggest singles of her early career.
Waiting for Tonight was written by Maria Christensen, Michael Garvin and Phil Temple.
Christensen had been singing since the age of five and writing songs long - before her days as part of the girl group 3rd Party.
She originally came on the scene in 1984 as half of the Latin freestyle duo, Sequal, which was meant to be producer Lewis A. Martineé's follow-up group to his hugely popular girl group, Exposé. Recording for Joey Boy Records in Miami, the pair managed a string of three club hits (It's Not Too Late, Stand By and She Don't Want You.) The group then caught the attention of the powers that be at Capital/EMI Records and a major label release with a plethora of producers such as Stock Aitkin Waterman, Kurtis Mantronik, Michael Morejon and Martineé was recorded and released in 1988.Despite that well of support, and although a number of the songs did do well in the clubs, neither the album nor the singles broke through to the pop charts,
When nothing more seem to be on the horizon for the duo, they split up and Sequal was no more.
Christensen began concentrating on her songwriting, and using all the contacts she'd made during her time with Sequal, began selling songs to major artists. Her songs were recorded by the likes of Nana Mouskouri, Eternal, 'N Sync, and Celine Dion. After recording a self-titled solo album in 1993, she recruited two of her backup singers, Karmine Alers and Elaine Borja to create the racially-diverse girl group that would become known as 3rd Party.
The women, all extremely photogenic and talented, had little trouble finding a label that was interested. The group landed at DV8 Records, a subsidiary of A&M. An album was recorded and released on October 7, 1997, featuring two songs which would chart on Billboard's Hot 100: Can U Feel It (#43) and their version of an old Gary Wright song, Love Is Alive (#61.) Also included? The Christensen/Garvin/Temple co-write, Waiting For The Night.
Two years later, after the group had disbanded, Jennifer Lopez was busy putting together her major label debut album, On The 6. Producer Ric Wake brought Waiting For The Night to the attention of Lopez and her producer, Cory Rooney.
It was not love at first listen. In fact, Lopez immediately "hated the song" telling Wake, "I never want to hear that song again. It's horrible and so cheesy." However, Rooney felt very differently. Rooney kept after Wake to continue working on the song. Finally, Wake told Rooney that it would be too costly to rework the song for Lopez. That's when Rooney plunked down $50K of his own money and said, "That's how much I believe the record is gonna be a hit for her."
Apparently, money talks! When Lopez heard the reworked version, she was head over heels and wanted to record it right away. With Ric Wake heading up production, the song was included on the album which was scheduled to be released on June 1, 1999.
Waiting For The Night was released as the third single from the album and entered Billboard's Hot 100 on October 16, 1999. It wasted little time, going worldwide by reaching #1 on European radio. In the end, it would go Top 10 in Australia, Belgium, Canada, Finland, France, Greece, Hungary, Italy, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Spain, the UK, and the US.
It was Lopez's first song to top Billboard's Hot Dance Club Songs chart and earned her a nomination for Best Dance Recording at the 42nd Annual Grammy Awards in 2000 - demonstrating that it never hurts to give something a second chance!
And that's the whole story.
Now? On to the competition!
The Song: Waiting For The Night
The Competitors: 3rd Party vs. Lopez
Waiting For Tonight - 3rd Party
Waiting For Tonight - Jennifer Lopez
3rd Party
This dates back to one of my favorite eras of dance music. Euro-dance was everywhere - even on the radio - back in 1996. It had somehow spilled out of the clubs and suddenly the likes of Amber, Ultra Nate, and Kristine W were hitting the charts - and not just the dance club play ones.
This fits into that mold perfectly. That opening bubbling synth clues us in on what to expect. Yes, it is a bit precious and coy and very cleanly and neatly packaged. The synths here are pitched a bit too pointed for my taste. I like a fatter sound. Euro-pop/dance? Not known for great base lines or much bottom, so those accent synths have to bring the weight in order to get our bottoms pumping.
Christensen, who carries the bulk of this song, is a good singer. I've checked out her stuff with Sequal and the other 3rd Party cuts which charted (available below) and I have to say she's as good as Fergie, who was doing the same sort of gig at the time with Wild Orchid. Christensen brings just enough color and interp to help liven up the proceedings. I don't care for how the producers have treated her vocals, though; they sound vaguely pitchy and are squeezed in such a way as to make her sound pointed and a bit shrill.
That bridge section with the 'ah-ah, ay-ay's' and 'oh-uh's' is a hoot and ripe material for creative remixers.
And I do believe that one of the other ladies steps to the foreground near the end with a few improvised wails. It's a welcome touch of... something different. And demonstrates that the other two were more than window dressing and that Christensen was not the only one with a set of pipes.
Unfortunately, the production work here is by-the-numbers and doesn't generate much heat. The synths are too vertical to land or strike deep. Other than Christensen's vocals, there's nothing here that is roughened or human enough for a listener to grab hold of. The song sort of skates by on a glassy layer of dance floor ice.
That said, this could have been a hit. Amber was having great success with this exact sound and I, personally, would have been on the dance floor every time this was spun. A pity the executives at A&M weren't hip enough to realize it; 3rd Party's story might have ended differently.
Jennifer Lopez
A strummed Spanish guitar and some great, real percussion work warm this up immediately.
I've been rather harsh on Lopez in the past. I saw a live performance of hers once and was rather dismissive; she's like Be-Bouncy - she can dance, and... umm, sing? But she sounds fine on record. Nice and warm and full-bodied. Ah, studio magic? Perhaps.
Nice vocal treatments and backing vocals as we scoop into that chorus. Very focused.
The basic track, by the way? Just as regimented as the Euro-dance version. It's the fact that real instruments augment and flavor this whole affair. It also helps that Lopez's vocals are warmer and more intimate than the icy shrill coloring 3rd Party's version received.
There's a fun, very tiny, synth bass part during the first half of verse two which is awful fun. Hope it shows up later.
The backing vocals on the chorus are key to this version's success. Everyone loves a good rugby or soccer chant and that's what they evoke - a crowd reaction. That sound instantly generates a ton of energy in the mix which the listener is sure to get swept up into.
That trumpet, like the percussion and Spanish guitar trappings before it, warms this thing up like a charm. It also helps keep the listener's ear. As instrumental bridges go, this is nice. Now? I want to dance.
It gets a little messy/complicated at the end. Kitchen sink time - but it's fine. What else do they have to do?
The Verdict
The song is slight. This is not Gershwin. This is not Bachrach. So, I'm not suggesting this is a classic 'anything.' But it's fun and energetic and danceable, so it gets points for checking all those boxes.
3rd Party's version is undone by lackluster production, work so rote, it barely registers. Unfortunately, the producers do manage to ruin the one thing which might have saved this: Christensen's vocals. She can sing. But they've treated her voice and manipulated it, removing all her natural warmth and girthy earthiness, her grit, opting instead for something as piercing and needle-like as the synths which blanche everything. It's a bloodless affair.
Lopez is in good form; her vocals are warm and natural. The producers zip up the chorus with effective backup vocals It's really not that different than 3rd Party's except the natural instrumentation employed - guitar, percussion, trumpet - which help keep everything feeling human and relatable. One naturally gravitates toward her sound.
So this is a definite win for Lopez. She had the hit, not only because A&M missed the boat, but because hers is the better version.
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And that's enough of me.
Okay, your turn. Leave your choice and thoughts in the comments section. You know I love a differing opinion.
You will be instantly transported to another time, another dimension, when all things were happy and gay. (We'll ignore the reality of the times, my dears, and simply concentrate on the wonderful music.)
The Pine Walk Collection features DJ Sets from Fire Island Pines & New York City, from 1978-1999!
This is the equivalent of finding a gay disco's lost ark.
Seems these tapes were found in a recently purchased house on Pine Walk. There are over 200 tapes in total and they have all been carefully digitized and remastered and offered to stream for free on Mixcloud (with permission from all of the living DJs they were able to contact.)
I am not well-versed in DJ Culture, but some of those spinning include: Richie Bernier, Jim Burgess, Michael Jorba, Teri Beaudion, Chuck Parsons, Shaun Buchanan, Jonathan Porter, Warren Gluck... to name but a few.
I am in heaven. And wished I owned CDs of every single one of these incredible sets.
1. Change - Paradise 2. Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly Marie 3. Hit 'N Run Lover - Carol Jiani 4. Give Me A Break - Vivien Vee 5. Dancin' The Night Away - Voggue 6. Dance, Its My Life - Midnight Powers
Another bonus? The comments made by those who were there, sharing memories of those fabled nights of old.
Honey, if they still played music like this in the clubs, I'd slip into my tightest jeans, put some glitter on my cheeks, step into my dancing shoes and be there every night!
Yes, the party The Pine Walk Collection has to offer is never ending, so give your spirit and your heels a lift and check it out.
(Shout out to my dear sister, Randall, who turned me onto this disco-very!)
Sometimes an artist can get there first - being the first to record a given song - but not get to enjoy the hit. Such is the case with Today's Who Did It Better selection. In a matter of months, three versions by three separate well-established pop/dance artists would hit the market. However, only one would get the nod, be released as a single and go on to spin gold.
On a Night Like This is a song written in 1999 by by Steve Torch, Brian Rawling, Graham Stack and Mark Taylor. It was originally created for Swedish pop/dance sensation Pandora, who had enjoyed a string of Top 40 hits in Sweden and Finland since 1993. The song was included on her sixth album. 1999's No Regrets, but not released as single. It seems Stack and Taylor, who also produced the track, weren't happy with the results, feeling it wasn't commercial enough, so, believing they had a hit on their hands, they looked elsewhere.
That's when they approached Parlophone, Kylie Minogue's record label at the time, with the suggestion that Minogue record a version of the song using the same backing track they'd created for Pandora.
Anna Vissi, the bestselling Greek recording artist of all time, was putting together her next album and obtained rights to record the song, as well. It appeared on her 20th studio album, Everything I Am. The album was intended to break Vissi into western markets, which it succeeded in doing, with the track Call Me, which to the #1 spot on Billboard's Dance Club Play Chart.
While Minogue's and Pandora's versions share the same backing track, Vissi's features a significantly different production and a new arrangement.
On A Night Like This was released as a single by Parlophone on September11, 2000. It was the second single from Minogue's seventh album, Light Years. It debuted at #1 in Australia and #2 in the UK. It also hit #2 in Scotland, #16 in Ireland and #35 in New Zealand. Ironically, it would also make the Top 40 in both Sweden and Finland.
But don't feel too badly for Pandora. After a bit of a dry spell, she returned to the charts in Sweden in 2006 with a string of hits from an album titled, Celebration - a remix collaboration with United DJs. Among the tracks chosen for the project? On A Night Like This, which in it's remixed form would peak at #3 in her native country.
And that's the whole story.
Now? On to the competition!
The Song: On A Night Like This
The Competitors: Pandora vs. Minogue vs. Vissi
On A Night Like This - Pandora
On A Night Like This - Kylie Minogue
On A Night Like This - Anna Vissi
Pandora
I remember dancing to this song, but the club mixes would remove 90% of the vocals, so it was not nearly as much fun. I can't say which version it was...
This version?
A luscious Spanish-style guitar rings out beneath a loop of Pandora singing "on and on and on..." A nice scatter synth, clapping and a basic beat. All good.
Her voice - on key - has a flat sound to it. It's where her voice hits her face, which is just below the nose, hence the flattened nasal tone. She reminds me a lot of Amber, although Amber can bring out a lightness in her sound I'm not hearing in Pandora's voice.
As we move into the chorus, that pointed sound begins to pierce. The vocals are conspicuously treated, but I have to question how this is a desired affect.
As we move through the chorus, this is so similar to things Amber was singing in 1999, I keep thinking it is her. That Jew's Harp synth wah-wah is the center of this arrangement and, while I still enjoy it on a nostalgic level, it's wearing out its welcome fast.
Man, those vocals are overtreated. And there is no warmth to be found. I still like it. It's very driving, I merely wish the vocals had a rounder tone to them. Or maybe a bit of breath. Her sound is very strident and a bit tuneless.
I love that they throw in a disco whistle. That is a scream. Those synths on the bridge are very Pet Shop Boys, also a nice touch.
The similarities between this and Amber's work during that same year continues to grow.
The drop out happens exactly where expected... and then we just coast until the end. Well, the voiceover bits are fun.
Predictable stuff, and the hook is slight, but I like it. It contains all the elements of dance music at that time and this happens to be one of my favorite periods of dance.
Kylie Minogue
Wow. When I learned they had her sing over the same backing track... I really didn't expect it to be exactly the same. Wow. Lazy?
Kylie's vocals are super treated, but then, they always have been. That said, she's tucked into the mix a bit too much. Lots of breathy fun. Let's see what they do with the chorus.
She's also multi-tracked like crazy. And while she pops a bit more on the chorus, she's still well-tucked in there. I don't know. I think I enjoyed how Pandora sat firmly on top of the track. And although I have issues with Pandora's tone, at least I get a sense she's a real singer. Kylie? Well... this is more of an acting job.
Her vocals. So multi-tracked and treated, they sound like breathy mush.
I know I accused Pandora's version of being a bit chilly, but this? This is bloodless. And a bit lifeless. I don't like the mix at all. It's muted or something?
Only on the breakdown do we get any sense that Kylie is not a sex robot. That lovely lilt and perfect pop sheen she possesses is allowed to peek through - for a single phrase.
I like Kylie. Love some of her stuff.
This. Very disappointing.
Anna Vissi
Oh, all that mechanical gurgling and scratching, overlaid with a a schmoozey guitar? That's a lot of clatter going on... but it's also got a bit of muscle to it.
I actually own this CD. Target was set to try and break her into the states, so I had a copy given to me by a vendor. I played it quite a bit - Call Me was getting a lot of play at the clubs.
This strikes me as very noisy and there's not a great deal of separation in the mix. That causes my ear to meld some of the scratchier elements in the arrangement with Vissi's voice, which is too bad because the lady has a great set of pipes.
Weirder still? By the time we get to the second verse, I want to dance. And this is the third time I've heard this song... but now I'm feeling it. I think it's her voice. It has so much more character than the other two singers.
Okay, they do that thing where the vocals dissolve into a Morse code like cadence and it's a bit shrill. But this whole thing has more life than the other two. More muscle.
I've been trying to place who she reminds me of... and it's Idina Menzel. They utilize some of the same phrasing techniques.
I don't care much for the play out. Very forced.
The Verdict
Oh, dear.
I thought this was going to be a slam dunk for Kylie, but... I like hers the least. It feels lifeless. It's cute. And inoffensive. But... dull. And if there's one thing a dance floor burner cannot be its dull.
Pandora's version is the cleanest of the lot and I actually don't mind her vocals. I think I'm attracted to it because it reminds me so much of Amber's work. But, it, too, strikes me as a bit on the dull side. A bit too much by the numbers, I'm afraid. Predictable. It's a great listen, but I don't want to dance to it.
Vissi's? Yes. It is noisy. It gets shrill. But it's alive. And it gets my arms reaching upward. I like the surprises. I like the shredding. And her voice has a lot of character. Is it perfect? No. I'd want to remix it and drop some of the noise from time to time.
But for me? And I may well be wrong here... I'm going with Vissi.
Now... excuse me.
I just came here to dance...
(P.S. - Check out Pandora's remix by United DJ's. It's a total winner.)
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And that's enough of me.
Okay, your turn. Leave your choice and thoughts in the comments section. You know I love to hear a differing opinion.
That's all for now...
Until next time, thanks for reading... and listening!
In my own personal big gay church, there is a wing festooned with disco balls, strobes and a pulsing dancefloor. Here reign the Divas of the Dancefloor; a rare cultural phenomena somewhat confined to the clubs. Their siren calls beckon you forth, bewitching you with soulful sounds and inspirational words, causing your body to gyrate as if taken by a spirit. Theirs is the world of house - and by house, I mean, these ladies know how to take you to church, son. With their voices we soar and are liberated from gravity's and reality's pull. One such diva?
Ultra Naté
Children. This woman can SANG.
A voice so powerful. So agile. So committed.
If you didn't bring your heart and soul to the club...
Then why the hell you come to church??
This artist will have you on your feet. She has the power to raise up the most downtrodden, allowing their spirits to soar.
Thirty years in the game. It is all glam. And flash. And shutter.
She brings the animal. The passion. And the groove.
So, tell me...
Are you feeling Naté?
The gospel according to her?
Well, here are three from other people's hips, dropping from their lips.
The Topic: Ultra Naté
"What a great spirit, a true soldier! She’s one of the people who make me proud to be a part of the dance community. Here’s to the future! Cheers!” - Crystal Waters
"For the past 20 years I have lived and loved your music (as a DJ). On the flip side I’ve loved and adored you as a friend, colleague and baby sister. To watch you grow and conquer the world with your style and brilliance, my love and affection has only increased tenfold. And now, to finally have the opportunity to work with you on Give It 2 U, all I can say is: Revolution complete! Congratulations, Babygirl! You serve! And we the DJs, producers and music lovers will forever feast on your bounty. Maximum love & infinite respect.” - Frankie Knuckles
"Wow! What words can describe a woman that has found success and blessings in all that has been on her journey! As a word of love to my little sister; know that you are an inspiration to all of the young women today that are pioneering the artist life and being one of the very few and respected females DJ’s! I am proud to know you and have you in my life! Love ya.” - Jocelyn (Joycee) Brown
Found A Cure - Ultra Naté
Love's The Only Drug - Ultra Naté
SNL (So In Love) - Ultra Naté & Quentin Harris as Black Stereo Faith
feat. Inaya Day, Darryl D'Bonneau and Jason Walker
And one last parting shout out...
"It was great writing with Ultra and I think, like many artists who are cherished by the Dance Club community, Ultra’s music is still a must play, must hear and a must move to! Like Sylvester, Sharon Redd, Jocelyn Brown, Two Tons Of Fun, Madonna; Ultra didn’t grow out of Pop, R&B or Rock, she started in the clubs: Disco, Dance, the Club Music scene is where she found her greatest and most loyal fans and they’re fiercely loyal! Dance on Ultra! See ya on a dance floor somewhere soon.” - Nona Hendryx
****Just Dance - Lady GaGa Featuring Colby O'Donis This song is a personal favorite this season. From the first lyric on, I just love it. Colby’s contribution doesn’t do much for me personally, but then, it also doesn’t get in the way of my good time. Yes, musically it is a little lightweight, but then, I also find that endearing. I’m not sure if I could testify to the vocal aptitude of Lady GaGa, but this song is such a sweet escape I don’t really care whether there is substance there or not. This is a breeze. This is what Olivia Newton John should be recording. And that’s who this reminds me of… or actually, what it reminds me of – the first time I heard “Sam” or “Have You Never Been Mellow”, or “Please, Mr. Please” – there is something of a breath of fresh air here for sure. Is it due to her delivery? The song itself? A reflection of the times (very similar to when ONJ had those hits)? In any case, Colby O’Donis aside – I like this, so do as the lady says – just dance.
***Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow - Paula Abdul / Randy Jackson So, I kind of ignored this when it came out. I hate the whole AmIdol thing (for whom we have to thank for Gay Aitkin - did we really NEED another Barry Manilow?). But that aside, this is a sweet little pop song that fails to build or go anywhere. And that is just too bad. With Paula’s notoriously limited vocal range, there probably wasn’t any place it could go, but it seems the fault lies with the songwriters. On the bright side, the chorus is fetching and Paula comes across as seductive, edgy and focused – that is until the bridge where she mentions she’s still working up the nerve to talk to “that guy”. What? Is she twelve? Is she not Paula Abdul? The bridge is sort of a throwback to her “Forever Your Girl” hey day (days long past). Unfortunately for Paula, this just does not sound convincing coming out of the mouth of a middle-aged lady. I have seen the video, which is way fun – featuring some really sophomoric choreography and a lovely piece of red satin. So overall, it is a success, but it could have been much more. This peaked at #2 on the Billboard Dance Club Play chart and it is what it set out to be – a nice, professionally produced piece of well crafted pop. So, welcome back, Paula.
**The Right Life - Seal I love Seal. There is part of me that thinks the man can do no wrong. His winning ways continue with "The Right Life", which peaked at #15 on the Club Play chart. This is the follow-up to his #1 Club Play hit “Amazing” from his under-performing “System” CD. The song percolates along nicely and the chorus is a tad catchy. His vocals are as fine as always, kind of like a silk/satin dream. But overall, it lacks punch and succumbs to its own lack of dramatic build. A pleasant, if inert addition to this man’s incredible body of work.
***Love’s Sweet Sound - Groove Armada ft. Candi Stanton This one certainly lives up to its title. Candi Stanton’s power as a vocalist just cannot be denied. She keeps surfacing on my I-pod in the oddest of forms. There’s comfort and warmth in abundance in her voice which manages to ignite the most sterile of dance tracks. She does just that with Groove Armada’s rather perfunctory “Love’s Sweet Sound”. The track itself gurgles and twerps in all the right places, but it’s Stanton’s insistent vocals that keep the hook in your head and your body grooving in low motion. I appreciate all the space Groove Armada has left on this one. It allows the vocals to absolutely shine. This peaked at #21 on the Club Play Chart, but you can expect it to continue to get some additional floor time over the next few years (you know, the way “You Got The Love” keeps popping up). It’s just one of those slow chill grooves that keeps on keepin’ on.
****Same Old F*cking Story / Into The Nightlife - Cyndi Lauper If you haven’t picked up a copy of Lauper’s latest CD, “Bring Ya To The Brink”, do so immediately. It’s a winner. As are these two tracks. “Same Old F*cking Story” raced to the number one spot on the Club Play Charts, and for good reason. If “Sex In The City”, the movie, had its act together, it would have been featured on that soundtrack as Carrie recovers from being stood-up at the alter by Mr. Big. The song is a great one for people picking themselves up after being smacked down a few too many times. Yes, it is a bit cynical, but then so are the times we live in. Musically, it is as old school disco as you can get and I just get a kick out of it every time it zooms out of my car’s cd speakers. Lauper is in great voice. And songwriting-wise, she also seems to have rediscovered her legs. This is a great song featuring impeccable craftsmanship.
Her follow-up single, currently in the top ten on the Club Play Chart, is a surging piece of metropolitan synth-pop that perfectly captures the hum and buzz of the anticipation of an evening out. Look for it to capture the pole position as well. Its ascent has been a quick one, and currently it is one of the few bright spots on the Dance charts. And the woman has never looked finer – just check out her new video!
**Control Yourself - Erin Hamilton You have to hand it to Erin Hamilton – the lady has chops. She is poised for great things, as she is a versatile vocalist who possesses a knowing way with a lyric. She’s definitely in the same class as Suzanne Palmer, Ultra Nate’ and the supreme Kristen W. The earthiness and grit she brings to this track is a revelation. But for all the growl and heat she manages to bring to the fore, the song lacks the originality which was evident in the mixes of her re-release of “The Flame”, a song that scaled the Club Play charts earlier this year (and in its original form it peaked at #12 back in 1999!). The fault here is with the song itself and not the singer. In this case, the vocals save the day. So look for this one to peak high. I hope there’s an album in the works. (Aside: Did you know she’s the daughter of Carol Burnett?)
*All I See - Kylie ft. Mims Not feeling this one at all. It peaked at #2 on the Club Play charts, but did little for my feet or head. It’s thin and cold. The rap feels pasted on and as out of place as a smiley button on a corpse. The song itself glides along on a single level for so long I find myself reaching for the forward button on my cd player. It’s a snore bore. Poor Kylie! Nothing on her latest disc has seemed to capture the attention of the dance floor or the American public. And this mash-up smacks of desperation, not inspiration. The lady has style to spare… and in the future she needs to lend some it to the dance floor and her musical offerings.
***The Dance - Evelyn “Champagne” King This one continues to grow on me. Nice and chunky. Pop, yet funky. This song rates two and a half stars on its own, but earns an extra half star for the inclusion of a sample of the classic jam “Love Come Down”. 2008 has proven to be a banner year for comebacks for historic Divas of Dance. “The Dance” will probably not wind its way to number one, but it’s nice to have Ms. King back in the clubs just the same.
*Turn It Up - Mark Picchiotti Presents Basstoy No, please. You can turn it down because it is turning me off. Nothing new here, kind of by-the-numbers and it does nothing for my feet. Effects piled on to no affect - like accessories on a dead hooker.
**Handle Me - Robyn This is a clever little piece of hip-hop pop. Leaving the robotic/mystical leanings of her last hit, “Every Heartbeat” behind, Robyn has her eye on the clubs and the street. It works for the most part. A touch stilted and wordplay heavy, but Robyn carries it off. There’s a mean streak in this track that cuts a wide swath with hooks galore and sassy one-liners to explore. Another feather in Robyn’s cap.
**Fall - Kimberly Locke This went to number one – not sure why. It’s nice. You know, nice – like when you say the word nice and your mouth curls downward? The song is rather average, no – make that – the song epitomizes average. It’s a sweet little pop song with a country bent that makes my stomach curdle just the tiniest bit. Kimberly Locke can bring just about anything to life (the number one “Band of Gold” in all its kitschy glory, case in point) – so why can’t she find songwriters who have something original to bring to the table? This warmed-over adult contemporary crap belongs to the likes of Faith Hill and placing a pulsating beat underneath it does not a dance track make! Her previous #1, “Change” was a bit better, but basically shared the identical formula used here. Seriously, dance fans, we need to be asking more of this talented young lady. Somebody give her a decent song.
**Where the Music Takes You - Ari Gold Featuring Sasha Allen This belongs in the same category as Bellatrax Featuring Sophia May”s “I Can't Help Myself”, anything by Plumb and a host of others: Nice, serviceable dance/pop. Faceless, but with just enough of a hook that you find yourself not regretting listening to it multiple times. This is my idea of the perfect fill on a mix cd. It takes up room without calling attention to itself or disappointing.
*Shake It - Anane Featuring Tony Touch & Mr. Vegas Please see my review of “Turn It Up” by Mark Picchiotti Presents Basstoy. Same applies here. For all its sass and strident drive to create a sense of urgency and energy – this one manages to bore the hell out of me. So tired. Absolute filler with nothing original to offer. It was like they looked it up in a dictionary and read it verbatim into somebody’s phone answering machine from 1993.
** We Break the Dawn - Michelle Williams Featuring Flo Rida Well, this one was rescued from obscurity thanks to the inclusion of a rap by Flo Rida. I actually liked the original (minus Flo), although it lacked a strong personality. Even with the presence of Flo (or perhaps because of it) this one still strikes me as pretty borderline. I very much doubt I will remember it a year from now… or for that matter fifteen minutes from now. And undistinguishable effort by two talents in search of an identity.
* Great DJ - The Ting Tings Hmmm. A tad annoying. A tad cloying. I kind of want to walk up to this pair and just give then good smack on the back of their heads. Even the name of their group makes my face scrunch up in a way that suggests that somebody just pooped in the room. This stuff is too cute for its own sake. I know they are currently the darlings of New York (they gave a free concert and it was massively attended) – but I generally find this type of highly-crafted B.S. abhorrent and a waste of time. If ever there was a case of style obliterating the fact that there is no substance – this is it. I am going to file this one right along Sia and Pink Lady.
***Let Me Think About It - Ida Corr Vs Fedde Le Grand The song that refuses to go away. This is the dance song of 2008 so long (whether I like it or not). As it happens, I do like it. It is a bit faceless, but that makes it endearing, the way Chic songs of yore were/are endearing. A great hook, a nice sassy chorus and plenty happening to keep you guessing. While I never tire of it, I have also never really embraced it. It has this vibe and energy all of its own – and that has sustained its place on the charts and dance floors these many months.
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