Total Pageviews

Friday, November 30, 2012

Acquired Tastes, XXII: Barebacking / Bareback Sex


I can’t think of another sexual activity that divides the gay male community the way barebacking does.  It is an emotionally charged topic because it comes with some possible serious consequences.  It’s very much related to that old truth: people who learn nothing from history are doomed to repeat it.  Proponents say barebacking (sex without a condom) is the height of hedonistic irresponsibility, puts people at risk for and increases the spread of STDs, and gives ample ammunition to those who take issue with the gay community and the way gay men conduct their lives.  Enthusiasts would argue that it is a matter of personal choice and a natural expression of their sexuality.  In between?  People, like me, who see both points of view while frequently struggling with the issue in light of their own personal behavior. 

Is either side correct? 

Let’s toss aside that condom and dive right into the raw facts about…


Scope of Activity:

Unprotected sex, typically butt sex without a condom.  For the sake of this post we will limit our discussion to male on male anal sex.  Also known as ‘raw sex’.

The Official Line:

From Wikipedia

Bareback is a slang term to describe acts of sexual penetration without the use of a condom.  The term comes from the equestrian term bareback, which refers to the practice of riding a horse without a saddle.  Barebacking usually refers to a conscious and deliberate choice to forgo condoms.

Initially used for contraceptive purposes, condoms also came to be used to limit or prevent sexually transmitted diseases.  As AIDS emerged and the sexual transmission of HIV became known in the 1980’s, the use of condoms to prevent infection became much more widespread, especially among homosexual men.  At the beginning of the AIDS crisis, in the context of the invention and development of safe sex, the uptake of condoms among Western gay men was so widespread and effective that condom use became established as a norm for gay sex.  From 1995 several high profile HIV positive men declared their refusal to wear condoms with other HIV positive gay men in gay publications, dubbing the practice ‘barebacking’.  While these early articulations of barebacking expressed a concern for HIV prevention in that they generally referred to dispensing with condoms in the context of sex between people of the same HIV status, the moral panic which ensued was so pronounced that barebacking came to be framed as a rebellious and transgressive erotic practice for HIV positive and HIV negative people alike, irrespective of the risks of HIV transmission.

A resurgence of barebacking in first-world gay communities during the 1990s has been a frequent topic for gay columnists and editorialists in The Advocate, Genre magazine and Out magazine. 

Varying factors are sited when looking to explain the recent popularity of bare back sex.  Among them:

  • Fear of HIV has been minimized due to the development and success of protease inhibitors.  These drugs have changed the status of HIV from ‘untreatable’ and ‘terminal’ to ‘treatable’ and ‘chronic’.  There currently are studies claiming that the likelihood of a non-detectible (>75) HIV positive person passing the virus to others is slim to none.
  • Some people only seek out partners with a similar HIV status and therefore don’t see a reason to use condoms.  This practice puts HIV positive men at risk of contracting additional strains of the virus, and has given rise to the concept of the HIV superinfection.  Serosorting (identifying an individual’s strain of HIV) is thought of one way to prevent men from exposing themselves to different strains.
  • Condom fatigue: people have heard the message of safe sex for so long now they have stopped responding to it.
  • The rise of ParTying: Use of drugs (Crystal Meth in particular) in relation to having sex lowers people’s inhibitions and causes them to become less concerned about their personal safety and well-being resulting in these individuals participating in unsafe activities and associating with people they normally would not.
  • The rise of barebacking sites such as BBRTS lend credence to the practice and provides a means for like-minded individuals to find one another.

Well, ummm…. Hmmmm.  This point would seem to be moot, but there are things one can do to help decrease the risks at hand:

  • Knowing your partner would be a good start, or at least sharing information regarding each other’s HIV status – otherwise known as ‘the talk’.  Discussing sexual history (recent) might also prove helpful.  But keep in mind, people don’t always disclose or tell the truth.  If you are HIV positive and know your serotype, that could prove beneficial, provided your sexual partner also knows his.
  • Doing a visual physical examination on one another is always a good idea, but not a guarantee of anything.  
  • Practicing good hygiene also a good idea, but, again, not a guarantee of anything.
  • Living a healthy lifestyle – eating healthy foods, exercising, getting adequate rest – not only will you look your best, but your immune system will also be firing on all cylinders.
  • Avoiding alcohol and drugs.  ParTying can result in you putting your body in riskier situations than you would if you were not under the influence of something and also weaken the immune system.
Psychological Aspects:

What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

This practice has been rationalized a number of ways.

There is a segment of the gay population who feel that fucking ‘raw’ is the way God intended people to fuck.  They see this as natural and a natural form of sexual expression.

Then there are those who see it as a form of rebellion against the Safe Sex Police, the medical community, political entities, and those with axes to grind against the gay community.

There are those that simply enjoy it.  Condoms are restrictive by design.  They inhibit sensation and blood flow to the penis.  Some men cannot maintain an erection with a condom.  This can lead to a form of psychological erectile dysfunction – a self-defeating loop of thoughts and fear resulting in a neurotic reaction to condoms or the contemplation of sex.

Bug Chasers: Myth or reality?  From what I have read in personal blogs on the net, I have come to the conclusion that these individuals are not the stuff of fiction.  There is a documentary called “The Gift” (2008) that explores this phenomenon.  Bug Chasers seek out HIV positive partners who engage in barebacking.  The goal of the Bug Chaser is to become infected with the HIV virus.  Their motivations vary.  Some seek inclusion, as they view the HIV community as being an exalted and elite group, while others see that the life of HIV positive individuals as glamorous and normal.

Pig Sex: While there certainly are gay sex pigs whom practice safer sex, they are not the norm.  Surrendering one’s body to the sexual whims of others puts one at all sorts of risk, and part of the mindset of a sex pig is to be exposed to bodily fluids of all kinds, including sperm, from as many partners as possible.  This helps satisfy the primal urge that drives these magical beasts.

The bigger questions remains – why would someone willingly participate in an activity that they know puts them in harms way? It brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘Thrill of the Kill’.  Isn’t there a horror film out there about an HIV positive serial barebacker?  I bet there will be. But in this connotation I think ‘The Kill’ is an action more suicidal than homicidal.   Do we bareback because we hate ourselves enough to want to do harm to ourselves?  Is this self-hate because society reinforces the message that to be gay is to be wrong and bad?   Do we then internalize that message and want to eliminate ourselves? 

Is barebacking really a form of biological genocide?

My Experience:

I have never been a hardcore advocate of safer sex or barebacking.  I tend to let the person I’m with decide whether or not condoms are involved.  Based on my recent experiences (the past four years), I have seen a major preference for barebacking, but that observation is based on only my own experiences.

Condom use is the primary reason that I am no longer a top.  Up until 1996, I was a hardcore top, bottoming only when in a monogamous relationship.   I don’t recall that condoms became an issue for me until 1996, when, after a few less than spectacular performances, I began to experience a kind of anxiety related to their use.  I think this is rather common, as I have spoken to numerous individuals about barebacking and their experiences dealing with condoms. For me, condoms seemed to kill my boner.  And once that started happening, then the anxiety related to boner failure took over and I began to avoid topping altogether.

Men frequently admired my ass – and back in the day it was prime stuff – so, after frottage, jerking off, and oral sex no longer seemed enough, I began to allow dudes to fuck me.  Initially, all the pre-work involved (douching) baffled me, but after a point I got over it, embraced my hole as a living being, and set out to become the best bottom I could.

Age probably also plays a part in my conversion.  I see more and more former hardcore tops becoming seed-seeking bottoms.  And it’s a shame, too, because many of these dudes were blessed with high-quality pieces of meat. 

But why have I become a bareback bottom?  I think it has a lot to do with the attitude of the men who  bareback.  They are more accepting of others – which critics could frame as: they have lower standards – but I disagree.  They have different standards.  They appreciate real men.  Men with flaws.  Men with body odor and body fluids.

Honestly, what has turned me off of safe sex are those that advocate it so virulently.  Their sanctimonious attitude rubs me the wrong way.  Also, I have found that those who practice safe sex are, well… not that good at it.  I’m sure there are exceptions, and in fact, I know that has not always been my experience, but overall I would have to say that dudes who use condoms seem to lack the kind of primal drive that lights my fire.  Frequently I find that tops that use condoms tend to be incredibly body fluid phobic.  And that makes me uncomfortable.  I don’t want to have to apologize for my spit, my sweat, my cum, my ass juice.  It is part of the experience.  Body fluids are part of what makes sex hot – for me.  If you want closed mouth kisses, hairless bodies, polite sex talk, and hermetically sealed butt sex, look elsewhere.  I revel in my funky self.  So I guess I fall on the side of those that bareback because it feels natural.

(Spoiler Alert: Unrelated, Undocumented, Unfounded Tangent Rant Fast Approaching)    

Of course, and I will cop to having some kind of chip on my shoulder regarding this, I think my aversion to safe sex advocates and practitioners also has to do with my bias against ‘the typical gay’.  I have rarely liked the way gay men are portrayed on television sitcoms or in movies.  I disagree with their portrayal because it does not speak to my experience or what I have witnessed in the gay community.  The typical gay on television has a super career – he’s an architect, a lawyer, an ad agency executive.  They have a sanitized sense of life.  Their homes are perfect and large and don’t appear lived-in.  They drive the perfect car.  They dress impeccably.  They are typically quite white and over-handsomely so. They bore the snot out of me. So I don’t buy it.  With the exception of Max on ABC’s ‘Happy Endings’, I think you will find my assessment to be pretty accurate.  I like Max.  He’s real and flawed.  And yes, there are indeed other portrayals of gay men on television - but they aren’t flattering!  The screaming queens and tired cliché’ gay are ‘funny’ indeed, but they don’t make me laugh and I don’t know anyone who acts like that in real life (except for me, after a couple of martinis and in the company of certain catty friends).

Sadly, those perfect television gays do translate to real life.  They attend fundraisers and host them in their large homes.  They make over 100K a year and look down upon and avoid associating with those that don’t.  They spend a lot of time at the gym, the spa, their hairdresser’s salon, being tweezed and buzzed and plucked and waxed and honed and polished and… ugh. Okay… you get the picture?  These guys are snobs.  I hate snobs.  These guys are also the practitioners of gay sex.  Yes, there are indeed lots of other kinds of gays practicing safer sex, but these bitches are so sanctimonious about it they make me doubt my love of penis – big, hard, pulsating, body fluid-filled penis (how could I ever doubt that?).   These are the self-righteous cunts that make it their mission to troll sites like A4A so they can rain down their wrath upon the heads of those who are HIV positive or practitioners of unsafe sex.  Yes, I have felt their sting.  And I am not alone. I would ask you to visit ‘Life In The Raw’ - a blog written by Mindtrip, a man I would characterize as something of a sexual warrior – and read his post on11/28/12.  Also, check the side of my blog site to discover the blogs of a number of other sexual warriors willing to share their personal exploits.  Even if you don’t agree with their personal sexual practices and world views, you’re sure to find a post that will have you jerking your gherkin.

Oh, and if you want specific stories related to my personal experiences taking raw dick up the ass, just flip through my past posts.  Yeah… I know – I’m a total butt slut.

These days, I only top bareback.  If that’s an issue, than I don’t wanna fuck ya.  As a bottom, I take it however my top wants to serve it up – and I love it.  I am kind of a modified ass pig.  I can’t seem to take it to the extreme like some dudes do.  I don’t seem to run with the right crowd or live in the right city for that to happen.   And, yes, I frequently regret my behavior.  I omit the truth when talking to my doctor about my sex life (she’s convinced I am a sex addict and wants me to seek ‘help’ – and yes, she has a point).  I have contracted several STDs in my lifetime (nothing life altering, yet).  I struggle with guilt and shame and know in my heart of heart’s that taking raw dick up the ass is simply not a good idea. 

But I do. I take raw dick up the ass.  And I can’t really rationalize it, explain it, or justify it.  I just do. 

You see, I think that in the world of gay sex, as large and varied a place as that is, it is every man for himself.  You get to do what you like to do, with whomever will do it with you/to you/for you.  I may not understand or share your particular interest, but I applaud you for having the courage to explore your sexual self.  I’m not going to pass judgment on you based on what you do sexually with others.  I do believe in taking responsibility for my actions. I do believe in acting responsibly where others are concerned.  And I do my best to do no harm. 

That said, if being a sanctimonious, self-righteous, fluid-phobic, hermetically sealed, snob-ass, internet trolling, safe sex advocate is what gets you off.  Have at it.  You have the right.  And there is a part of me that sees the good you are trying to do.  Yep, I get it.  Yours is the better way.  I’ll even salute you.  But please forgive me if, in that same breath, I also tell you to go fuck yourself.  Not because I don’t see the good you do, but because I just don’t like you.

So, back to that question re: barebacking as genocide.  Am I suicidal?  Probably.  On some deeper level that I am no longer interested in exploring, yes, I would like to see me wiped off the face of the earth.  But that living part of me?  That part that I actually feed and exercise and buzz and shave, and care for and nurture and educate?  The real me?

I bareback because I like it.  It feels good.  It makes me feel closer to man I’m with.  I think it’s sexy.  I think it’s dirty… and I like it dirty.

My Conclusion:

Safe sex is a personal choice.  So is barebacking.  You can’t respect the rights of one without respecting the rights of the other.  And it is possible to respect somebody and validate their right to do with their bodies what they want and still not agree with them or even buy into how they justify their behavior.  Barebacking isn’t for everyone.  It takes special ability to deal with fear of the unknown, anxiety, guilt, shame, self-loathing, and the realities of dealing with an STD. 

But then, safe sex is not for everyone either. 

Barebacking is sex at its most natural.  There isn’t that stupid awkward moment when the action stops and someone locates the condom, rips open the foil packet, rolls it down his rod, grabs the lube, smears the lube down the length of the sheathed shaft, and then play resumes.  There is no condom-related erectile dysfunction.  There is no ‘I am going to ram and ram and ram, but I am not going to cum until I withdraw, tear of this condom, and then jerk off on you’.  With barebacking the penis slides in, rams and jams and it all happens with a natural sense of fluidity, motion, and progression.

How can that be bad?

So, here are my final recommendations regarding barebacking:  

Act responsibly, even with anonymous strangers.  Disclose your status when asked.  
Do your best to do no harm.  
Get tested for all STDs on a regular basis. 
Don’t engage in sexual activity with others if you have or suspect you have a communicable STD.  
Never pressure others into engaging in unsafe sex. 

And stop hating yourself.  (There are plenty in the world doing that for you already.)

Be good to yourself.  Be better to others.

Happy fucking, men! 

May we all be happy fucking men.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Acquired Tastes Chapter XXI: Glory Holes


Is there anything more iconic for gay men than the glory hole?  With a wicked wink of the eye, 'Family Guy', 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia', and 'The Soup' have made numerous sly references to them, so they are hardly a well-kept secret anymore.  In light of that, one could say they've gone mainstream.  Not that such acceptance has translated into abundance, for they remain rare denizens of only the most tolerant adult bookstores, truck stops, and public restrooms.  Yes, they are a common feature at most bath houses, but in such an environment a certain level of convenience and sense of deviance becomes lost; elements that would seem to be important to the glory hole's very essence and justify their existence.  Getting away with something wicked is fun!  And if that something wicked takes place on the sly and in an environment where such sexual expression could only be termed non-traditional, then the experience is heightened (for some) even more. 

So, let's now get down on our collective knees in the dark, lean a bit forward, and take a closer look through and at...

Glory Holes  

Scope of Activity

To engage in sexual activity utilizing a glory hole.  A  glory hole may be described as 'a hip-high hole drilled, punched or filed in a wall between stalls in a public restroom or adult bookstore peepshow; through this hole one man will insert his penis for sexual contact with another person, though anal and vaginal sex may also take place through the hole.'  For the sake of this post, we will be focusing on male to male sexual contact. 

The Official Line

From Wikipedia:

To use a glory hole a man puts his finger through the hole to indicate interest in sexual activity.  If the other party is interested, he will accept the offer and put his penis through the hole to be serviced. The most common activity is oral sex, and to a lesser extent anal intercourse, a handjob, or vaginal intercourse. Glory holes are today most commonly found in established adult video/bookstore arcades, sex clubs, gay bathhouses, and adult theaters.

If a glory hole is found between two booths in a video booth at an adult bookstore, the person who wishes to perform oral sex will normally be seated in a booth. The seated (and sometimes kneeling) position commonly signals to others that they are there in order to perform oral sex – which allows those who wish to receive oral sex to take the adjoining booth. That second person will normally remain standing.

Psychological Aspects

Anonymous encounters are a real turn on for some. What's more anonymous than being separated by a wall?  Sure, you could meet your sexual partner outside the booth and then lure them in, or take a peek through the hole before getting down to business (a glory hole etiquette no-no), but some dudes really get off on the idea of having no idea who they are sucking off. The lack of physical contact with your sexual partner ensures discretion, and while sexual satisfaction may be achieved, both parties are able to walk away from the experience without any knowledge of the other - not even being able to recognize them should they meet at a later time.

Lack of Intimacy:
This is the epitome of NSA (No Strings Attached) Fun.  Names are rarely exchanged, hell, it's rare that the sucker even gets the opportunity to see the suckee's face, so the likelihood of any type of prolonged relationship is extremely slight.  Each walks away with a limited sense of the actual physical condition or characteristics of the other person.  

Such encounters certainly boil sex down to its most basic elements: penis and hole.  And if it is a busy location known for this type of activity, then it's really no different than stopping at the local convenience store to pick up a 'slurpy' (which, when you think of it, would make an excellent slang term for a nice, wet blow job).  This is the ideal 'Cum N Go' experience; insert penis into hole, receive service, orgasm achieved, zip up and exit.  No muss, no fuss (though a little clean-up work may be recommended and/or required).  And this is also why real glory holes (as opposed to those manufactured in bath house settings) are located in such transient places such as public restrooms and truck stops.  These locations attract individuals who are just stopping by or blowing thru (pun intended) and typically do not represent any other facet of their life. 

Covering Up Physical Shortcomings:
What you can't see can't turn you off.  This of course works both ways.  In a true glory hole experience, neither party has any idea what the other looks like - so if you are overweight, horribly thin, old, out-of-shape, ugly, have big ears, a misshapen nose, or in any way do not meet society's typical notions of what constitutes physical attractiveness - it matters not.  If you have the skills to suck and/or a penis that gets hard, you're in business, buster.  

The rim of the actual glory hole, due to use, improper maintenance, or poor construction, can lead to a number of issues.  Pressing one's face and mouth against the surface or edging of the glory hole can put you in direct contact with former occupants' saliva and bodily fluids.  If the hole is made of metal and features jagged edges, or plywood and features un-sanded edges, the pressing of your lips and face against these surfaces in an aggressive manner can lead to possible skin irritation and abrasions, thus making one more susceptible to whatever STD might have been left behind by previous users.  This is also true for the dude sticking his penis through the hole; as such irritation and skin abrasions may occur anywhere in the groin region that comes in contact with the edges of the glory hole. True glory holes are often hastily and crudely constructed, therefore, such safety considerations are not high on the creator's priority list.  

Then there is also actual STD transmission that could occur participant to participant.  A visual physical inventory of an anonymous sexual partner is no guarantee of weeding out those with STDs.  But when considering those that frequent glory holes - either as suckers or suckees - you have to keep in mind that this type of activity on an on-going basis likely magnifies one's possibility of contracting or having contracted something (herpes, gonorrhea) when engaging in this type of activity.  That sucker on the other side of the hole could have been there for a number of hours before you happened on him. Who knows how many loads he's swallowed before you arrived or just how chafed his chin and lip areas have become as a result of on-going contact with that glory hole.  And, for the sucker - the person on the other side could have any number of STDs, including HIV and syphilis - you have no idea where that beautiful, hard cock jutting through that hole has been. 

Sex in public remains illegal.  You get caught in the act or snagged during a police sting operation and you can find yourself with legal headaches that may include court appearances, fines.  Plus you run the risk of having your name and/or picture planted in the local newspaper or on that night's local newscast which could result in possible damage to your reputation (unless your reputation is that of a cock-sucking slut) and being ostracized by society (not always a bad thing).  


·     For reasons of personal safety, as well as etiquette, men typically wait for a signal from the receptive partner to come through the hole before inserting any part of their genitals through a glory hole.
·     No peeking.  It's bad form and can ruin the experience for the dude on the other side of that wall. 
·     Don't offer up your ass unless asked, or if that is the only thing you're interested in doing.  Anal sex is usually something that does not occur until after oral sex and usually only at the bidding of the active partner.

My Experience

My personal experience if very limited. Those few encounters that I have had, have already been shared in past posts, but will be revisited now, for the sake of this post

The first glory hole I ever saw was in a restroom in Austin, MN when I was 13 or 14 years old.  I had no idea what it was.  I'd gone to this restroom with the expressed intent of jerking off; an activity that I had only recently taken up, yet had already discovered the privacy afforded one in a bathroom stall.  Plopping my ass on the can, I lost no time, but stopped short once I noted the odd, large hole that had been created between my stall and the one adjoining.  I realized almost immediately that there was someone in the next stall, so I decided to risk a peek.  Even before I was able to see anything, two fingers came through the hole.  Well, I shot alright... I shot right out of there.  My heart was racing and I had no idea what I'd just been a part of, but it intrigued me.

I never revisited that restroom.  Odd, huh?

I have played with glory holes at bath houses.  At the local warehouse party they have plywood stand-alone booths.  Once, early in the evening, I knelt outside one and boing!, there appeared a nice sizeable dick.  So I sucked on it.  Six dicks later, I had a return visit from the first dude.  Then something came through the hole that did not please my eye and that was it.  I was done.  Did any of them cum?  No.  It was early in the evening and, I think, in such settings being serviced through a glory hole is akin to appetizers being served and consumed at a party with a more substantial meal in the offing later in the proceedings.  Still, this was a reverse glory hole situation - others could see me sucking dick and the suckee was cloaked in anonymity.

So, for the purposes of this article (right - wink, wink), I journeyed back to the warehouse last Friday and decided that I would take up residence inside one of the booths to experience the true glory behind the hole.

These booths: they have three sides, are eight feet high and about five feet wide, made out of plywood that has been painted black, and have a five inch diameter hole cut into the three sides.  They change things up at the warehouse all the time and I had not been back since last July.  The booths are housed in one of the main rooms in the basement.  This week they had them set up where they were separated by a kind of twelve foot fuck bed, with one of the holes facing the bed.  That was a little disappointing, as it meant anyone walking around the perimeter of the room could see me inside the box, but you work with what you got, am I right?  I set up camp, bringing my full fuck bag with me - mouth wash, wet wipes, poppers, lube, lip balm, first aid kit, etc.  Wearing only my Pistol Pete jock, cap, and kick-ass leather boots, I squatted down and placed my hands in two of the holes.  (Note – squatting in a glory hole?  Hard on the knees and thighs.  Be sure to take breaks and stretch.  I had to.) Through the third one I watched whatever was taking place on the fuck bed. 

I had assumed because it was so early that I would have to wait.  I watched as this really cute dude with a full head of hair and a killer, hairless body posed and stretched his stuff on top of the fuck bed.  He reminded me of a stripper on a pole.  Sure enough, two balding eagles soon landed and began to fuck the shit out of his hole every which way they could. It was fun to watch because the kid was really cute and an exceptional bottom boy, arching his back and stretching his ligaments to their greatest advantage.  So mesmerizing were his antics that it shocked the hell out of me when I happen to turn to the right and discover an appendage sticking though the hole awaiting service.  I fell upon it and immediately felt awkward and uncoordinated. 

It was odd.  Sucking dick?  Something I pride myself on.  I have skills.  However, take away access to the other parts of the suckee's body and I suddenly found myself rapidly recalculating my attack.  It took some getting used to.  Normally there are balls and the dude's ass, his feet, thighs and calves to hang onto.  Feeling like I was in a boat without a paddle, it took me a while to get used to using the plywood wall for leverage.  Not that my mouth seemed to notice - it went on auto pilot, working its way through every trick it had ever been taught.. the deep plunge, the head tickle, the head glom, the tongue run, the throat clench, the fake gag, the mouth waggle, the suck and swirl, etc.  Seriously, I have a number of rather specific techniques and am rarely at a loss of what to do with a cock.  That said, in relation to the actual glory hole - there are only two means of activity: 1/ the sucker actively sucks on the cock, bobbing his head up and down while the suckee remains basically motionless or 2/ the suckee decides to drive and basically fucks the suckee's relatively stationary mouth.  Trust me, there's enough variety to keep things interesting.

So I stuck it out in that booth for a total number of 12 dicks.  At one point I had four dudes pressing down upon me from the open wall-side, a silver daddy with a nice club dick, a leather otter, a leather eagle, and some non-descript blonde guy with a soft bod.  I did what I had to do, sucking on them all, but after a point I let them know that I was there to service the holes.  The silver daddy wanted my hole, but due to the fact that it was still in recovery mode, I did not give it up to him.  I sucked the leather otter until he was ready to shoot at which point he hit the trail and the leather eagle just wanted a big old bear hug and some kisses before he drifted off. 

As for those I got to suck through the hole, while I may not remember the order, I do remember some of the details. Sure, I didn't get a strong sense of these men, but I defintely got familiar with their dicks and on occasion caught sight of them as they were walking away.

Here's a partial list (what I remember):

Dude #1: Entered soft, grew to about 7", nice width, cut dick with very slight upward curve.  As he walked away I noted that he was probably in his early 40's, had a nice body except for his middle-aged belly - or maybe it was due to bad posture.  Fairly hairless.  Shaved pubes.  No cum.

Dude #2: Entered hard, about 7".  Full black bush.  Talked to me, kept asking if I liked his ripe crotch (it was not ripe, but rather smelled of talc, I played along).  He was doing heavy poppers.  Surprisingly, this is one of only two times that I took a hit of them.  Usually, I found, I was too busy.  He went soft on me, I put his balls and his cock in my mouth.  He shot when only semi-hard, but it was hot.  He had a lot of tattoos. 

Dude #3: A thin long one, 8".  No cum.  Nice looking dude.  Wearing a traditional jock and a cap.  Very midwestern, with a buzz cut.

Dude#4: Short dude, soft to hard.  7".  No cum.  Mid 30's.  Nice solid body.  Pretty hairless.

Dude#5: A tiny one.  Maybe 4" max, but hey, they can't all be over 6", right?  No cum.

Dude#6: Enters hole wearing one of those white, spandex like thong things that shape to your cock.  I think there were globular beads of dried cum on it, which, while a bit gross, kind of appealed to the cum pig in me.  I wet that fucker and licked it for all it was worth.  Then he withdrew, unsheathed it, and stuck it back in.  What a beautiful white worm.  Softest skin I would work on all night and one of the fattest dicks.  I really liked it.  It was dark, but I could still tell just how pretty pink that head was.  So, I have no idea how old this dude was, but that dick came back for seconds and I would happily suck on it any time.  Really got into it.  9".

Dudes #7, #8, #9, and #10: These are the four dudes I mentioned above, who eventually came around to the open side and wanted to just have regular sex, as opposed to glory hole sex.  Had my hole been 100% and had I been in the mood for it, it could have turned out to be a hell of a scene, and might have even escalated because we gathered quite a crowd almost instantly.  Started at the hole with the silver daddy with the club dick.  What do I mean by a club dick?  Seriously ugly dick, misshapen, but huge and thick.  I kind of liked slurping on it through the hole and would have preferred that had been the end of it.  Let's see: silver daddy - 8.5 uncut, thick, leather otter - 7.5, cut, leather eagle - 6.5, cut, and nondescript blonde - 7, cut.  When the silver daddy comes around for seconds through the hole, he shoots in my mouth. Otherwise, no cum.

Dude #11: Wearing a long sleeved blue dress shirt.  Tiny dick 3".  He just kept walking around me and around me.  Had kind of a black mullet, a goatee, and a huge hard belly.  Not my thing and the glory hole began to lose it's appeal.

Dude #12: Tall thin dude in leather harness and black jock.  I think I know him from the prairie.  Nice cock, shaved.  8.5. No cum.

Total: 83" of dick and two loads.

At that point a really old dude stuck his withered dick through the hole and I just kind of lost heart.  I was done.  Went upstairs and sat on a couch.  Talked to three dudes, all nice looking, one of them being Dude #12.  I sucked on the first one, he's some kind of teacher and has to work the next day, had already been fucked by this dude I know, and was ready to go home.  The third guy?  Handsome - traditionally so, stupid tan, great bod, lean, tall and kind of a shitty princess attitude.  We seemed to hit it off right away.  I saw him arrive and we made eye contact then.  I know he likes what he sees.  He kept circling back until the other dudes were gone.  We sat on the couch and wasted no time getting down to business.  I sucked him... nice 8" cut dick.  His bod seemed as nice as mine.  I worked his nips and then moved in for the kiss.  The kiss.  Ugh.  He's a mean kisser.  Weird.  Does this thing where he kind of sucked super hard on a section of my lip until it stung so much I had to pull away.  I'm thinking - WTF?  I look at him and I can tell he thinks that's hot!  That's his technique.  I know this because he keeps doing it, even after I changed my approach several times.  So the kissing thing was not working for me.  And I think he sensed it.  I pulled away from him and waited for him to leave.

Then I went and laid down on a couch in one of the blackout rooms.  Had a couple of offers, but really was not in the mood for overweight dudes or anyone I wasn't attracted to touching me, so turned them all down.  Keeping an eye on the time, I was about to leave when who should show up, but the pretty twink with the great bod that was getting gang banged on the fuck bed outside my glory hole earlier in the evening.  He stuck his dick in my mouth.  Blech.  It was wet and cold and had no life.  Instead, I positioned his ass over my face and ate the fuck out of it.  All of the sudden this dom top came roaring out of me and I just took control of the kid and kept his hole on my mouth for like ten solid minutes, chewing, sucking, licking, and tonguing his well-used cum hole. 
I didn't get a sense that there is any cum in him, so I decided to fix that.  I pushed his ass down and poised him over my dick, which was rock hard for the first time that night.  The kid wanted to suck it, but I wouldn't let him... I only wanted one thing.  Using only the spit I left on his hole, I eased him down on my cock.  He protested and tried to get away, but I didn't let him.  I was lying on my back and just impaled his bod on my dick.  He sort of yelped, which only made me more determined, and then he relaxed into it.  He was lying on top of me, his back to my chest.  His body just happened to be incredibly light or I was feeling incredibly strong, not sure which, but I seemed to be able to manipulate him any way I wanted.  I just moved him up and down the length of my pole until he made me shoot.  The cum acted as a nice lube and I simply continued fucking him long after orgasm has been reached.  In my head I was calling him every slut name I could think of, but otherwise remained silent.  I felt like I was raping him, even though that was far from the truth.  I think he liked the violence.  I pushed him off me and told him I was done with him.  He told me how much he liked it before twinking his ass away, no doubt in search of more cock.  I wondered if he was tweeking or on something, but, eh... when in Rome. 

I don't care because now I'm spent and lighter one load.  Overall, not a great evening, but I got what I came for.

My Conclusion

I get the whole anonymous thing, but glory holes are definitely not something I would pursue if some other kind of sexual contact was made available.  It felt like only part of an equation.  I kept waiting for the rest of it to arrive. 

Also, as a sucker, those holes are kind of hard on your lower lip.  I didn't think about the consequences of that kind of irritation until later in the week.  Even taking the time to gargle and using wet wipes on my face (which I did do between tricks), I still ended up feeling that an extended session servicing whatever came through those holes was not a good idea. 

Bottom line: it left me wanting, as did the whole evening.  I'm starting to think that the warehouse scene is not for me, no matter my motives or permitted activities. I like it in theory, but not in actuality.  I think the anonymity afforded me in the glory hole only served to heighten my desire for sexual contact on a more personal, intimate level.

But that's my conclusion.  I get why these exist.  I understand their allure and the purpose they serve in our society.  Maybe I simply over did it, as is my modus operandi - I always tend to want too much or to take something over the line.  As a one or two cock activity - not bad.  But a dozen?  That's ten too many.  So, in the end, perhaps it is my own lack of discipline and need for excess that robbed my glory hole experience of its glory.

And then again, maybe once (or in this case twelve times) is enough!