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Tuesday, October 04, 2022

Wonderland Burlesque's Back To School, Fool Quiz - Part II

Wonderland Burlesque's
Back To School, Fool Quiz - Part II

Second verse, same as the first...

All the little rugrats are back in classrooms where they belong and the streets are safe once more. We can return to our public parks, our favorite coffee shop, and the local library without fear.

As with last week's quiz, today, we look back on our own illustrious school careers, hitting every topic I could think of. So, here are another six topics to tackle.

Today? You get to grade yourself. College? High School? Grade School?

How did you do? What are your current skills?

Did you have a favorite teacher in that given subject? Perhaps one who inspired/one who frightened?

Let's take it one topic at a time!

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1/ Social Studies

I think every lousy teacher I had in high school taught Social Studies. All three were men and they each either had a weak spot or were absolute dicks. 

I learned nothing from them. I can't even tell you what the classes were about. Government? 

Isn't that funny? That I haven't a clue? But I remember the teachers well. 

It seems we may have had a bit of debate in the class I was in my junior year. The future valedictorian of our class, a good friend of mine, was there. We'd circle our desks and he would take one side of an issue - he was very well spoken, and I would purposely take the opposite viewpoint. 

It was frequently about things in the news, which I never watched - so I would have no idea what I was talking about. But when my friend spoke I would pepper him with gotcha! comments and questions. He found me quite annoying, and well should he; I was a bit of a pip.

But other than that? 

I don't know what I learned.

So, unsurprisingly, my senior year, in the last semester of my year as a high school student, I got my one and only C plus... social studies.  

2/ Phys Ed/Health

Oh, I had a time of it. 

First, I was a bit of a late bloomer. 

I'd spent years fighting off my older brother and failing miserably. I hated organized sports. The only ones I was interested in weren't offered at my high school.

Yes. I played basketball for three seasons and sucked at it. Yes, I ran the two-mile for the track team, but only so I could get a letter for my school jacket. And that was it. 

Today? I would probably have gone out for track fulltime. I loved running. And I would have hit the weight room, too. Today.

But then? What an uncoordinated sad little man I was. It was a pass/fail course, so all I had to do was cooperate and not cry. It was mandatory for 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. 

It was mandatory for sixth grade, too... but I didn't want to shower with the other boys, so I would go hide in the library. I was a great library helper, re-shelving books. But then the phys ed teacher caught on and I had to attend. It was awful. 

So, no... I did not like phys ed. Now? I think I might. 

The one thing we did do each year was dance. There was a week when the girls joined us and we learned to dance with them. I already knew what I was doing, so I had a ball. My waltz was the best of the bunch. 

And I did like the obstacle course in the gym. That was a team thing and it was the only time I enjoyed being part of one. 

3/ Shop Class/Home Economics

Boys had to take shop. 

We worked with acrylics and wood working and metal bending/welding. 

I was awful at all of it. Which is odd, because I grew up doing arts and crafts - for Boy Scouts, and making puppets, and just filling time during the summer months. 

But I was never good at any of it. Always used too much glue. Not patient enough with the sandpaper. Couldn't get the glass cutter to work. I made some nice candles, though. 

As for shop? Made a metal tool box with a hinge and latch. Acrylic icicle ornaments. A pair of wooden cranes to be hung on a wall. An acrylic molded spoon rest that resembled a turtle. Acrylic key chains. It was dumb stuff. 

I did alright. But the shop teacher hated me. 

4/ Art

I always did well in art class. I could sort of draw. My horses were beautifully shaded. And I did a very nice portrait of Vicki Lawrence. I think it was supposed to be Helen Reddy, because it's her peach chiffon gown that Vicki is wearing... but I got Helen's face all wrong, so that's when I decided it was Vicki Lawrence. 

I got very much into making clay pots on the wheel. Nothing fancy. Nothing thin. Big, thick pots. I would come in after school and work on things. That was very nice of the art teacher to let me. That way I didn't have to go home. But all my pots were awful. He would let me glaze and fire them anyway. 

I never did improve. 

I think art class is the reason I love pop art graphics so much. Or, graphics in general. 

5/ Chorus/Band/Music

Oh, dear. 

I did it all. Everything I could qualify for, I did. I think music was my thing. 

In high school, even though I was not that talented, I still won class musician at the senior awards banquet. There were two others, who I worked with a lot, who were both more deserving, but, I think because I always participated in every solo contest, every talent contest, every jazz band, glee club, whatever... I really thought life was a variety show - like The Helen Reddy/Paul Lynde/Hudson Brothers Flower Power Hour. 

All I wanted to do was sing, play piano, play my baritone, take voice lessons, write songs, arrange music, dance, and entertain. Acting fell in there, too... but only because I wanted to be like the Carol Burnett Show. 

It never occurred to me to think about it in terms of making money. I was absolutely clueless.

The fortunate thing was, back in my day, it was all included. There were no fees. It was all free. The only thing I ever paid for was piano lessons. 

Thank goodness for that.

6/ Performing Arts: Speech/Theatre/Dance

In college I became very serious about acting and dancing. And smoking cigarettes. 

It was awful. Awful pretentious. 

But then, I was also deeply depressed for the bulk of my first two years in college. But back then, no one recognized it as such. I remember reaching out to a counselor in the admissions office and they acted as if I was typhoid Mary. 

I never reached out again.

I had no one to talk to. So, I just threw myself into my acting and dancing. The more lost in it I became the less I had to deal with myself. 

I never ate. I just smoked cigarettes.

It did not end well, but I did manage to escape to Minneapolis before hurting myself too badly.

And speech? In high school I excelled in storytelling. I won quite a few awards, but not the one I wanted... that one I missed by one point. 

I think storytelling is the reason I like to write.

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And that's enough of me.

Your turn. You know what to do; leave your answers in the comments section or post on your blog and leave a link here.

Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and participating!

Tell Me A Story - 1927

The Story - Brandi Carlile