Happy Halloween - From Myrna Loy and Wonderland Burlesque!

Happy Halloween!

From Myrna Loy and Wonderland Burlesque!

Who better to help me wish you all a very Happy Halloween?

Myrna does it with a caliber of class I could never muster.

Such style. And you just know there's always a chilled martini waiting for you in her living room.

So, be like Myrna and me... shut off those outdoor lights. Let those pesky kiddies get their treats elsewhere tonight. You, I and Myrna have a date with a bottle of gin and a night of witty banter. 

Personally, I can't think of a better way to celebrate the night. 

Can you?

Wishing you all the very best.

Be safe.

But have fun!

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Myrna Loy and William Powell

Weekend Onesie: Mother's Little Helpers

Weekend Onesie: Mother's Little Helpers

Oh, yes, children... it is that time of year once again.

That horrible gaping yawn of a season known as... mid-winter.

The midwinter blues? Common as a 'KarCrashian', I'm afraid.

And everyone has their means of coping... exercise, outdoor activities, crafting, social clubs, museums, baking, eating, sex, Netflix... the list goes on and on. But the one that may come back to haunt is... self-medicating.

A little edible? A nice martini? A couple of mother's little helpers? All well and good - in moderation. Overdoing it? Never a good thing, my dears.

So, keep that in mind should you choose to go that route. After all, you want to be good and alert when spring does finally arrive. 

And it will. It's just a matter of time.

In the meantime? Look at it this way: at least we have Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras and St. Patrick's Day to distract us.

To celebrate?

Maybe.. bake a cake?

This has been a public service message from little old me.

Hang in there, sugar babies.

Spring is on it's way.

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Mother's Little Helper - The Rolling Stones

Recipe for A Wonderful Weekend: Good Music, Great Food, Martinis, and The Right Field Trip Buddy

I had a wonderful weekend, and hope you did, too! 

The Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus held their annual Holiday Concert at the Ted Mann Concert Hall this weekend and I had the pleasure of attending, not only the concert, but the after show celebration at the Downtown Minneapolis Hilton Garden Inn, as well.  I had a great time at both.   More on that later…

'Star of Wonder', TCGMC's holiday offering

It turned out to be a weekend filled with wonderful food, great company, and several marvelous martinis.

 

It was also filled with the kind of companionship I have always dreamed of.  My new ‘person of interest’ and I have been defining ourselves as ‘Field Trip Buddies’, though this weekend the term ‘boyfriend’, referring to yours truly, was used on several occasions (fingers crossed). 

Me?  Oh, hell yeah, I’m stupidly smitten, of course.  This dude is pretty much every fantasy/ romantic notion my 18 year-old self ever concocted.   Seriously, every treacle-filled, gooey infused love ballad I hear causes the corners of my eyes to brim with tears of joy these days; every day feels like I’m going to the prom on the arm of my dream date.  I truly could not be happier with the way things are going.

I fully recognize that we are still in the infatuation phase, but I have been very realistic and pragmatic about it as well; checking in with him periodically to see how he’s feeling about things, voicing my concerns, while communicating exactly how grateful I am for the time I get to spend with him.  We have a lot in common and I’m excited to see where this all might be headed.  Living with a sense of hope is an amazing feeling (and something I am not used to).

Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus

The most amazing thing for me?  I’ve never been more honest.  It feels damn good.  In fact, I can’t get over all the positive changes I’ve made in my life and the change in my outlook and general being. 

Matt Alber

My family?  They are still experiencing a kind of emotional whiplash, in light of the change in status of my 17 year relationship with my business partner.  I did my best to break the news as gently and slowly as possible, but apparently more time and reassurance is needed. 

You see, I have a history of sort of rebooting my life without warning.  Those kinds of ‘turn on a dime’ logistics tend to make others a tad leery, as they worry about my sanity, health, and well-being.  They also need time to adjust. 

My mother, for instance, is terribly worried that I will run off and abandon her and my father in North Minneapolis.  But she needn’t worry. 

For a change, I am actually giving everyone’s concerns credence and ample attention.  I no longer wish to be careless with people, as I cherish the relationships I have, including the one I enjoy with my business partner.   I’m doing all I can to ensure that everyone is as happy for me as I am happy.

One of the changes they are all struggling with?  I’m not sitting on my couch anymore.  I am actually going out and doing things – going to museums, concerts, restaurants, bars, tarot card readings, game nights, movie nights, parties, and the like. 

This weekend I got to see the Twin Cities Men’s Chorus with special guest artist Matt Alber. 

It was a lot of fun.  The Ted Mann Concert Hall is a great venue and TCGMC put it to good use.  The staging, overall, was very well done.  Stars, which hung overhead on stage, served as the overall theme for the evening, with many of the songs making reference to them.  It made for a pleasant evening, as the program featured a plethora of familiar seasonal tunes.

However, not all was well.  Problems within the choir became glaringly apparent by the fourth number, a superb arrangement of ‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’, as director Dr. Ben Riggs failed to reign in his singers or achieve the type of balance necessary to pull off such a striking take on this familiar holiday favorite.  Pitch prob

Dr. Ben Riggs, Director

lems also plagued this particular number.

Based on what I witnessed, what may be at the root of the balance issue lies with the choir’s lack of attention paid to their director.  Many of the singers, excited by the prospects of opening night, tended to have their eyes glued forward, playing to the audience and rarely checking in with their director.  That style of presentation works in small ensembles, like a glee club, but this is a large choir and it was clear throughout the night, that Riggs did not have proper control over his singers, as the issue of balance raised havoc with a couple of the selections.

However, the choir redeemed themselves a number of times throughout the evening.  When they were on, such as their backing of 'Ave Maria', their sound was stellar, solid, and fully realized.  By the second half of the program, this wealth of sound became more the norm. 

Unsurprisingly, I had little patience for the novelty choreography that populated a few of the numbers, nor did I care much for the small ensemble group, OUTLOUD!, who performed two numbers – the first, an unlistenable mess.  I can’t imagine this particular grouping of singers sustaining a whole evening of song.   The featured soloists were also a mixed bag.  Several of them possessed nice voices, but were obviously in need of a bit more coaching. 

Small Ensemble, OUTLOUD!

Special guest, Matt Alber proved to be a great match for TCGMC.  He opened solo, in front of a scrim, with a Joni Mitchell tune in a key not suited for his lovely, warm voice.  That fact became even more apparent once he sang one of his signature tunes, ‘Velvet Goldmine’, which found him in great form.  His overall affect was downhome and approachable throughout the evening, adding a great deal of warmth to the proceedings. 

The highlight of Matt’s contributions came in the second half of the evening, when he sang a very interesting arrangement featuring Bette Midler’s staple, ‘The Rose’  sung atop  the choir singing ‘Lo, How a Rose E’er Bloom’.  Had that been Matt’s final contribution, the evening would have ended on a spectacular high. 

Unfortunately, Mr. Alber has a fancy for gospel (?) or at least what he apparently thinks passes for gospel.  A rather ill-advised arrangement of ‘O Holy Night’, significantly marred by some rather awkward vocal runs by Matt, made for a disappointing end to the whole affair.  (Mr Alber?  Gospel is NOT your thing.  So stop doing that, okay?)

Overall, I sure am glad I got to see this concert.  And I have it on good authority that by the Sunday Matinee, the choir had settled in, giving their best performance of the run.

I got to meet Matt Alber at the closing night party. That was kind of a letdown, as is meeting most of the performers I admire.  My few words of praise regarding his most famous composition, ‘End of the World’ seemed to fall on deaf ears and didn’t even warrant so much as a thank you (though he mumbled something about letting his people know).  Maybe he was tired (or tired of people complimenting him for that song).  Although Matt sure seemed to muster up enough energy to hang on every word spoken by the cute twink who was talking to him before me.   Hmmm.  (Et tu, Matt?)

In any event, I had a truly marvelous weekend.  And that happiness managed to spill over to the next day.  Even with the snow and the bitter temperatures this morning (on a Monday, no less), I found myself sitting in my frozen car exclaiming aloud, ‘What a wonderful world this is!’

And the amazing thing?

I honestly meant it. 

Field Trip Buddy - Matt Alber

Velvet Goldmine - Matt Alber

Silent Night - TCGMC (2011)

TMI Questions: How Do You Like….?

Picky?  Fickle?  Choosy?  Discerning?  

If you'd asked me before answering this week's TMI Questions, I would have said.... 'Who? Me?  No Way!'

But now?  Now, I'm not so sure.

Is it a matter of taste?  Age?  Experience?  

Now?  All I want to know is: How Do You Like...

...me now?

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: How Do You Like….?

Your coffee?

One cup in the morning, before 7:00 am.  Black.  Columbian.  Must be fresh. Preferably the first cup out of the pot. 

At home, I turn off the coffee maker right after it brews.  I dislike coffee that sits on a heating unit; it burns the coffee, altering the flavor.  I also dislike microwaved coffee.

If, on some rare occasion, I want a treat or am sitting at a coffee shop - (which, I suspect, will be the case this winter, since that is the time I tend to write more and get to be outside less) - and decide to have a coffee it would be: a decaf (if decaffeinated using a natural process) latte, 2% Milk, with a quarter shot of caramel (I don’t like it sweet). 

My favorite coffee?  It’s at Eli’s in downtown Minneapolis.  Perfect roast, always hot, and the perfect end to a meal there.  I will put half and half in it as a treat. 

I won’t drink coffee just to have coffee.  I’d rather do without, and have a glass of water.  Or herbal tea.

Pet Peeve: Worst coffee?  Those crap-pocinos that Starbucks, McDonalds and the like foist on the public.  Sugared-up frozen garbage, that’s what they are. 

Also – flavored coffees like: Chocolate-Cherry Vanilla-Crème Brulee-Dutch Apple hybrids.  Blech.

Your sandwich cut? In half, square or diagonal? Crust or no crust?

Diagonal.  I like stacking it off-kilter on a plate like it was being photographed. It makes me feel like I know how to cook (seriously – I am that delusional in the kitchen).

Definitely with crust.  Love crust.  I usually toast the bread, so the crust plays an important part in the crunch/fiber factor.

Current faves:

Toasted Cheese (Swiss, Cheddar, Provolone, or Marble) on Whole Grain

Toasted Rye with sprouts, tomato, and avocado

Toasted 9-Grain with Seeds and natural peanut butter

Pet Peeve: Soggy bread.  Mayo.  Excessive condiments (I don’t use them).  Meat. Soggy vegan/grilled vegetable sandwiches.  Tuna fish and egg salad made with too much mayo or greek yogurt.

Your coffee or tea?

After my one cup of coffee in the morning, I typically drink lemon herbal tea all day long.  It makes me happy and I like the hot liquid in my throat.  It also helps with my sinus issues.  I bet I drink at least seven cups throughout my workday (plus lots of water).

Pet Peeve:  Restaurants that don’t offer herbal tea.  Decaf tea is not the same as herbal tea.  Also – restaurants that offer chamomile tea as their only herbal choice.  What?  Do I look like I want to fall asleep?  What do you mean, ‘calm down’?

Your alcoholic beverages?

I’ve become rather singular in my alcoholic desires.  Keep in mind that I probably have two drinks a month, tops.

Boodles (or Hendricks) gin martini, up, side of ice, three olives (plain).  It must be super cold.  When that first sip hits the back of my throat?  I swear my head expands for five minutes.  Love that feeling, especially when the drink is well-deserved.

I like my booze straight forward and unadorned.  The sole exception: Bloody Marys – which I have made with gin. I like all the little food things you get with them – cheese chunks, celery, pepperoncini, etc., along with the spicy tomato mix.

Pet Peeves: Dislike flavored vodka things and sweet drinks, along with those well-meaning people who think I should give them a try.  That’s a little like being gay and being told ‘You just haven’t met the right girl, yet’.

Your ice-cream served: cup, cone, soft or hard?

Huh.

I don’t eat ice cream these days.  Whenever someone offers me ice cream with pie or cake, I always decline.  I don’t have it in the house, either.  Never have. It is not on my radar.

When I did eat ice cream, I liked those small, brown sugar, waffle cones.  Those huge things they serve today?  What is up with that?  It’s gross.

Vanilla was always my go-to flavor, though I did like nuts in it or fruit/fruit infused ice cream.  And it had to be the real thing – no chemicals, additives, pseudo-dairy substitutes or artificial anything

Dairy queen soft serve vanilla.  Otherwise hard.

Pet Peeve: Ice cream with candy bits (gummy worms, Skittles, peanut butter cups, etc.).  Hey, if you want that, go eat a candy bar.

And… People who think they can eat ice cream anywhere – such as while shopping for clothing.  Really?  Yeah, you dripping chocolate schmootz all over those cashmere sweaters your grubby hands are pawing through?  Yeah, that’s really helpful to the merchants.  Get a clue.

Your hair–long or short? Up or down? Straight or curly? Permed or natural?

What hair?

What’s left is buzzed down to nothing daily. I have come to appreciate my chrome dome.  Saves a lot of money and time.

Do I wish I had hair?  Yeah, of course. But there’s an upside to not having it, too.  Like not having to deal with people cutting your hair.  Or buying shampoo.  Or hair product.  Or looking like you belong in a boy band.

Pet Peeve:  Ball caps are designed to fit people with hair.  Therefore, they ride on top of my ears and that hurts.  They also look bad (ill-fitted, wrinkly).  Maybe it’s just me.  I might have a small head.

Your cell phone?

I just upgraded to a new Motorola Droid RAZR (CE0168) 4G Lite Verizon – and, yes, I am aware that it is already obsolete. 

I haven’t warmed to it yet.  I keep it charged and have taken a few pics of my dogs with it.  Otherwise, I use it to text (infrequently) and answer calls (hardly ever).  I simply don’t care for phones.  I feel they are a means of communication that is unnecessary.  I’d rather email.

Pet Peeve: Other people’s cell phone use.  What is wrong with you?  While you drive?  Really?  You can merge onto the highway with that phone planted in your left ear?  And those of you who text while driving – you are one accident away from having your own PSA on the television!

I once witnessed a dude on his cell phone approach a pharmacy cashier, fling money at her, never greet her, never speak a word to her.  It was appalling to watch.  Dude was talking to his friend about some pussy he got the previous night, so it wasn’t even an important call. 

Cell phones have created a whole new generation of rude and reckless behavior. 

I hate them. (Except when dudes take pics of themselves in the bathroom mirror.  Love those!)

Your computer?

Dell Laptops.  I keep upgrading, giving my old ones to nieces in need.

Tried others, including Apple products, but, eh.  For what I use it for, Dell has what I need.

I have one for work, one for home, and one in the trunk of my car.

I keep them pretty simple.  I don’t play games.  I don’t watch movies on them.  I don’t do any of the usual facebook/social media stuff.  And as of three months ago, I no longer use them to visit gay sites to hook-up.  I write (Wonderland Burlesque is a type of writing exercise for me).  That’s all I do with them.  Plus work-related spreadsheets and the like.  Email.  Some budget stuff. 

I never know when I will have an opportunity to write, so I have fashioned my life so I have access to a laptop at all times. 

Pet Peeve: Wireless internet servers that need to be re-booted to ensure maximum speed.  Coffee shops don’t seem to understand that you need to do that on occasion.  And, sometimes, trying to explain this to the baristas is like talking to a mounted deer head. 

Your web browser?

Explorer: Huffington Post, Billboard Magazine, The A.V. Club, Amazon

Chrome: Blogger, Hotmail, Porn Blogs

Pet Peeve: Chrome behaves differently in relation to Blogger on all three of my laptops.  It is weird.  Fonts, alignment, uploading, etc.  Always problematic.  And always an issue when I am in a hurry.

Your car?

I have a 2005 Silver Saturn Ion that I have maintained to the utmost of my ability. I have taken it to the same certified shop since day one. It has great get-up-and-go power.  It is paid for.  I love it. 

I used to lease a new Saturn every three years, which was nice; I liked having a new car. And I probably would have continued to do so, but GMC bought the brand, proceeded to over-design the crap out of them, lowered the MPG, and raised the price, until Saturn lovers said, “Screw this.”

I saw the writing on the wall in 2009/2009.  I did a test drive of a couple of the new models and decided I better stick with what I had.  Glad I did.

I keep it as clean as possible.  No trash.  No smudginess.  I wipe things down all the time.  I don’t eat in it.  No smoking (of course).  The dogs are a little hard on it (one sheds a lot).  And there tends to be a lot of nature-related debris (leaves, twigs, pebbles) and the like on the seats and floor boards which I have dragged in when hiking. 

I love washing it and vacuuming it out at home.

I love that most of the body (with the exception of the hood and roof) is made of plastic.

I wish GMC had never bought Saturn and trashed the brand.   

Favorite vehicle ever: an old Ford pickup.  Loved that thing... to death.  It was an old landscaping truck and I just loved it.  Appealed to the country boy in me.   

Pet Peeve:  City/State/Nation Park Stickers, which are stuck in the lower right hand side of my windshield, have left this weird, opaque adhesive aftermath.  I have yet to tackle this.  Anyone have any suggestions or experience dealing with this issue?  It’s unsightly.

Bonus

Your sex? Position? How often? Mild or wild? One or more?

Position?

Doggy-Style (standing up or on all fours), Missionary, any which way.  Tops get extra points for creativity and comfort.

How often?

Used to be almost every day (see past posts dealing yearly sex stats), but, I have gotten much better about controlling my impulses.  Typically, now, three times a week will do me fine – and it’s not all about the butt anymore!

Mild or Wild? 

Either.  I love both.  There are qualities to both that appeal to me. I’m pretty open to experimenting or playing it vanilla; anything from cuddling with clothes on to hang me from the ceiling and let your friends… ummm.  Well, you get the idea. Like Billy Joel, “I just go to extremes” (and everything in between.

One or more? 

More what?  Fucks in a day.  Been there, done that (and, on rare occasion, still do).  More than one at a time?  Yeah, guilty, but less likely these days.  My days of going to the warehouse parties and taking all cummers are gone for good.  These days, I am cherishing the manufactured intimacy two sexually-active, sexually-experienced, consenting adults (me, being one of them) can create within moments of meeting one another.  Lately, it seems, it’s all about the kissing.  Playing without it?  Over it. 

You expect me to put my lips on your dick, but you won’t put your lips on mine? 

Hmmm… you got another thing coming.

You see?  This is what happens with age.  You get pickier and pickier.  You distill everything down to what pleases you and discard/destroy/dismiss the rest.

Sigh.

So, what I want to know is…

…what am I missing out on?