The Problem with BB

What a conundrum. Okay, so there are many out there who would say that taking a stance on the practice of barebacking is a no-brainer. Barebacking is dangerous. It risks the individual’s health and the health of those that individual comes in contact with. It’s not just a matter of HIV – it’s also a matter of syphilis and HPV and any number of other STDs.

The syphilis epidemic among gay men is of concern. The legions of tweeked-out Tina lovers with their suppressed immune systems (due to drug use and sometimes HIV) are gaga for barebacking. And while I it is tempting to lay all of the blame on their morphed little pointed heads, I realize that would be unfair. You can contract syphilis through oral sex. You also needn’t be tweeked-out – just bareback.

So is the syphilis problem overstated?

Probably. Considering the number of people reported with syphilis compared to the size of the general population, or even the gay male population for that matter. But they claim there is the possibility of creating a drug-resistant strain, just like that other bogey man, the HIV SuperVirus, that the scientific community and the media have been promising us for years. Okay, so maybe I’m being a bit too snide. Hey… it could happen. The potential is there. According to the media. And science. And maybe common sense.

STDs are no fun. Period. Avoid if at all possible. That should be the bottom line. Right?

Keep in mind – we’re dealing with a scientific, social and moral conundrum here. I have the right to plead totally confused, don’t I? Confused, yes. Ignorant? No.

And HPV? The stuff that got Farah in the end (shameless pun, tasteless pun)(I love Farah). Now granted, according to my doctor, everyone – regardless of whether they are sexually active (actively taking it up the butt) or not – has HPV. It lays dormant and then suddenly it awakens and starts creating growths in your anal canal (Dat be dah butt, Bob). I know about this first hand, because I am now being probed and biopsied every three months and we are talking tender tissue, bubs. Those biopsies are majorly messing with my fun in the sun time. So fear the HPV, not just in the long run, but in the short run. Stupid biopsies.

And HIV? Well, no longer a death sentence, but still a major bummer. Those damn pill regimens really cut into one’s ability to be spontaneous. Not to mention the cost. Damn drug companies. Am I being serious? Sort of. Keep in mind, I’m confused. And a lot of people don’t have health coverage (Obama, are you listening? You’re being awful quiet these days.)

And then there is the social stigma involved. Being a barebacker is hell on one’s social standing. Fucking stupid snobby gays. Eh… we love to hate each other, huh?

So, okay… pretty much covered the STD downside of the whole BB scene, I think.

Ummm… the upside. It feels good. As a top, condoms are a hassle and I know a number of guys (including me) who have issues staying hard when their wiener is being suffocated in a latex cozy. As a bottom, I love them. They make for easy clean up and in the event that there is a little poop juice, no problemo. Just shuck off that messy rubber and you’re still good to go for a little oral. (Ahhh, poop juice – a bottom’s worse nightmare). But then, shit happens.

There is also the added pleasure of doing something frowned upon. There is something inherently fun doing something you’re not supposed to. Something dirty and sinful… you know, like butt sex. So butt sex minus condom equals icing on cake – or icing in butt, as the case may be. Icing on my chest. On my ass. On my face… but I digress.

There is also the allure of all the language associated with this practice. The notion of breeding someone and taking seed – very animal, no? And animal is sexy. Yes… yes it is. Grrr. Woof.

And – you get to belong to a community or scene, as the gay chat rooms like to call them. To be part of a scene within a community within a society – now that is self-definition in a nutshell. And you can splinter that down further by being a barebacking gay man who wears leather and is into feet worship. Or be a gimp (as in Pulp Fiction). I’m not sure what layer of gay hell gimps occupy, but I am sure it is not over populated.

And there it is… the ying and yang of barebacking. I understand it. I understand those that do it. I have done it on occasion and in the past, when I didn’t know better. I am guilty. I chose it. I own it. Go ahead and mark me with a scarlet BB.

I also understand the moral, ethical and biological threat that it presents. Morally, I am torn. The inner slut in me wants to ride in a sling all day wearing a blindfold with a bottle of poppers shoved up my nose taking loads until the jizz just runs out of much used hole. And the realist inside of me says… whoa! This is wrong. This is bad. This goes against the grain of common sense and self preservation.

You know what? I love reading blogs about people who practice barebacking. They are very proud of it. Flaunt it. Celebrate it. I don’t read them to feel superior – I am NOT. I read them because I enjoy them. It is sexy. It is dirty. It is trampy. It is fun. And because a majority of them are written by bottoms, I relate to them.

That said, there is one I read written by a young top. I relate to him, too. He has a power thing. He is also poz.

But top or bottom, they all seem to relish in one thing – power. It’s in their language – both those that are poz and are neg. They talk about pozzing people (sometimes unsuspecting people – but hey – when it comes to barebacking, is there really such a thing as an unsuspecting person?). They talk about charged juice and mixing it up. They talk about taking loads. There is something predatory about it. Something sadomasochistic about it. Dom and Sub. Something, maybe, a little evil. And because of this aspect of good and evil and their focus on it… to my mind they resemble comic book heroes (or villains, depending on your stance). It is an intoxicating world they live in.

And what about the bug chasers? Well, what about them? They seem to be on a quest as well. They want to bring to fruition that promised SuperVirus. I relate less to them. HIV is not anything I would wish on anyone. But they are part of the world of BB as well.

So, I should be anti-barebacking, right? The smug, sexless, designer label fashionista gays have this stance down cold. But then, so do the common sense gays.

Are the barebackers rebels? Is that part of their appeal? Yes. They are and it is. And let’s face it, giving it to the man (pun intended) is really part of what being part of a counterculture is all about.

Well, that’s my very flawed argument. Flawed and flailing and failing.

But what about love?

What about preservation of the species?

What about survival of the fittest? You know, weeding out the weak via natural selection.

A moment’s joy. Is it worth all the possible consequences?

Boy, if you thought this entry was flawed and pointless… wait until I explore the world of those with HIV who have sex with other people, but fail to disclose! Yes? Uh-huh. Bring it on! Boy… that issue? Clear as an Ann Coulter anal pap smear. (Why Farah? Why not Ann Coulter?)

Isn’t life complex? And icky.

Ann Coulter / Anal Pap Smear: same thing?

Discuss.

A Memorable Memorial (Weekend) !

I’m so happy. My hole is back in business.

Giving it the time it needed really paid off. I think it is now better than ever.

The whole ‘less is more’ thing should become my mantra. I simply don’t have the energy, time or stamina needed to be a super slut. I will just have to settle for being a regular slut.

Memorial Weekend proved to be a return to form for me (which just goes to support my theory about everything being temporary). Of course, the surprising thing was that it was a return to familiar grounds that really tripped my trigger. I played with three guys – all of them repeat customers. One I had not seen for six years, one I had not seen in a year and one I had not seen for six months. I just happened into it. Each tryst was nothing I had to work hard at to arrange.

On Friday, I took a walk in the woods and wasn’t having any luck. I got hit on by a couple of guys – one whom actually sat naked on a rock pulling on his cock and telling me to ‘get over here and suck my dick, boy’. Normally, I’d be all over that, but this guys body was saggy and something told me I could do better. I wasn’t into any of the guys I saw and felt I should just keep walking rather than compromise. So I went and sat in the middle of this prairie area, and reminisced about all the incredible sights and experiences I had in that area. Due to current renovations the park is undergoing some major changes are being made. So those carefree days of boys in the trees are all but over for that area.

I was about to leave, when I spied a man on a bike headed toward this one area that is THE area to stand if you’re looking for a little something/something. I headed over to check him out. He was short and bald, with a good strong chin. His body was a bit stocky, but I liked his smile. And then I remembered where I knew him from. He had come over to my house to work out with me and take pictures. He has a very public job and was a bit on the down low, so I was surprised to see him in this setting, but hey – everything changes. I’m not sure he recognized me - not that it mattered to me.

He made a move for my crotch and soon we were deep kissing one another. It was way hot. And then I saw his dick. It is a big fatty, very pretty, very pink. After being walked up on by one of the guys I had declined earlier, I suggested that we head further back into the woods. I grabbed this large towel that someone had left in one of the sunning alcoves and dragged it along. We went to this spot I like near the mountain bike paths, but still sheltered enough so that passing bikers can’t see you. I laid down the towel and dropped my shorts. His mouth was on my dick in a matter of moments. I had poppers and supplies with me, but decided to hold off on the poppers, because I didn’t want to compromise my ability to hold my load. He was a pretty good cocksucker and had me as hard as a rock. I pulled out and crouched down so we could kiss more. He began to remove his clothing – he was wearing bike shorts and one of those lycra bike tops with the zipper in the front. Our mouths began to move over each other’s bodies, until we managed to get ourselves into a 69 position. His dick never seemed to get fully hard, but it was such a thick one that I was cool with it.

He then had me sit on his face… man could he eat ass! It felt incredible. At this point, due to the condition of his dick, I was pretty sure that fucking was off the table, in spite of the fact that he asked me if I had lube and condoms and then congratulated me on being such a good boy scout (always prepared). So at this point I hauled out the poppers. He took a couple of hits, too and it was way fun, crouching over his face, having my ass expertly eaten as men on mountain bikes whirled past us just a few yards away.

We returned to our knees again, facing each other, macking on each other mightily. I was jacking his dick, and it actually started to get rock hard, when he pushed away my hand and asked me to cum on him. I love the splatter effect of cum hitting a dude in the face and on the chest, so I was cool with doing that. Besides, I had not cum in 10 days, which is like an eternity for me. So as my climax approached, I stood over his kneeling body and blasted a huge load all over him. He reveled in it and as a finishing touch I crouched down and wacked my spent dick on his cum covered chest a few times. I don’t think he came, but at that point I didn’t care. We had both had a great time getting naked outdoors. We cleaned up, dressed and went our separate ways. I noticed then, that a cute Hispanic guy had been watching us. After the other guy went to get his bike, the Hispanic dude definitely wanted a go at me, but since I’d already cum, I thought I should just thank my stars and not be a pig about it.

Saturday, I was busy with family stuff all day. When I got home in the late afternoon, I had a few hours to kill before I had to be somewhere at 6:00 pm. I got on-line, but was not having any success. I wasn’t seeing anyone I knew or that I was interested in and the only ones hitting on my profile were guys I had no interest in (sometimes it’s a vibe thing). I was just about to sign off, when I refreshed my browser and there appeared a guy that I have played with on and off for the past five years. I hadn’t played with him for over a year and I decided to contact him. After just three exchanges we had set up a time and place to meet. I was excited, because I hadn’t been fucked in ages and I knew that he would definitely be up for doing that.

I set it up at this house I am currently rehabbing. I left the gate and front door unlocked and told him to just walk in and find me. I raced over to the house, stripped, got my supplies set up and then peaked through the blinds to see when his car pulled up. Once his car came to view I got on all fours with my ass pointed toward the door and put a blindfold on. He loved it.

This guy is a cute black bear. Very sweet, with pretty eyes, a nice furry chest, a great mouth and a nice sized dick. When we get together I usually get a little carried away with the poppers, but I was really restrained this time and only used them when he first entered me.

He walked in and immediately took off his clothes. He then kneeled behind me and placed the head of his dick on my hole. OMG. That felt incredible. His touch was very firm, but gentle. Then he toyed some more with my hole using both the head of his dick and his fingers. Finally I leaned back, turned my head and he kissed me. I had forgotten what a good kisser he is. Whenever we’re together it is always very good. We seem to be in sync with one another from the word go. The blindfold just seemed to heighten everything – my sense of touch and smell and taste, plus it had made the anticipation of his arrival absolutely heart-racing. I sucked on him, he sucked on me. Then, in the middle of a passionate kiss, I took off the blindfold. We melted into each other. He slipped on a magnum condom and took my ass slowly. It was a great fuck. I felt full and used and well, loved. When he first entered me doggy style, my dick got rock – rock hard. I was amazed and after about five minutes he had me on the edge of coming without touching myself. I eased off him and took a little break, kissing him the entire time. We changed positions. I loved looking into his eyes as I lay on my back with him pounding into me. Then we changed positions again with me riding on top of him. At this point he took a couple of hits of poppers – which always does it for me. I just love a top who takes a hit – the sound is so sexy. He stayed in me long after he came. And then kissed me and played with my balls until I shot my load. We continued to kiss for some time and then began small talk. He is so sweet.

Sunday, I got on the net in the morning for a couple of hours. Nothing was happening, which was fine, as I had a pre-arranged fuck date in the afternoon. I was going out to the country to this farm and we were going to fuck naked in the woods.



This guy is a real salt and pepper cutie: great fur, okay dick, nice body. I love his smile, his sense of adventure and his sense of humor. I arrived and we walked out to the woods together. He had pre-selected a spot and had laid out an open sleeping bag for our comfort. It was fine. He is a really nice guy, but I have to say that he is not the most relaxed kisser and the sex itself is always a bit of a struggle.

He really likes frottage, which I am cool with, but he likes to use a lot of lube, which for some reason puts me on the edge way too much. He also kind of wears me out. Whenever we complete a session I feel like I have just been beat up. He also can’t give a blow job worth shit – too much teeth – which really irritates my dick to the point where I just don’t enjoy it. But he does throw a smooth fuck. He loves to mash me face down and work his way on top of me. It feels great, but I think all that force, discomfort and odd friction robs me of my stamina.

The mosquitoes were bad, so that may have also impacted my enjoyment of the whole thing. He also doesn’t believe in fucking around standing up… always in the horizontal, which really gets old fast and limits what you can do. In any event, I had a good time. We both came and then walked back to the main house naked. He had guy working on the roof of the main house and we walked right under his gaze buck naked. We showered and after more small talk, I left. It was a nice afternoon.

Bottom line, it was a good weekend. I took Monday off from fucking, because my hole was just getting used to it again and I didn’t want to risk wearing it out. It looks better than ever and is behaving totally normally now. I am so relieved. I am not getting fucked without a condom ever again. That HPV stuff is scary stuff. I mean, I know we all have it in our systems (any sexually active individual – whether they have butt sex or not carries it)… but this is just another selling point for condoms – which I have really come to respect and enjoy. And as I’ve noted here before – they also make for easy clean up.

All-in-all, not a bad return to form; Memorial weekend was indeed memorable. It’s so nice to be back in the saddle again. I promise not to take my hole for granted and will be more choosey about my partners in the future.

More to cum… hopefully.