Weekend Onesie: All Gods Are False

Weekend Onesie: 

All Gods Are False

I woke with that thought one morning; 'All gods are false.' And thought, 'well, this is going to prove to be an interesting day.' 

However, other than sending me running to my laptop to write it down, because the above image of Donald Duck yawning as he walks past the 'God Of Gab' immediately sprang to mind, it really didn't affect my day. 

Thus is the concept of 'god' in my life... most days. Today, though... I had another thought.

The notion that "Thou shalt have no other gods before ye," strikes me as rather silly.

 

Alluding that there is such a thing as a 'false' god, tends to lend credence to the idea that they're all made from the same vat of fat. I've always marveled at people's tenacity when it comes to their belief that, when choosing a religion, they 'got it right.'

How do they know?

Faith, they will reply.

Faith is nothing more than blind belief. Just because you can believe in something doesn't mean you should. I have a number of emotional scars that prove that to be the case. No, I don't need a 'god' to relieve me of my suffering. 

That's what gin is for.

I have a lot of faith in gin. I have faith in a few other things, too.

I have faith that common sense will one day return to Washington D.C. I have faith that people like Putin and the orange ogre will one day have their comeuppance. I have faith that The Supreme Court of The United States will one day snap to and realize the error of their ways. But, and call me a doubting Thomas (no, not that Thomas) if you must, but I have reason to believe none of that will be happening any time soon, or in my lifetime, for that matter. 

So much for faith.

And for those believers who think we atheists are haters, well, you could not be more wrong. We don't hate you for your beliefs. We just think you're Silly Billies to believe what you believe.

See, I believe that a large percentage of life is going to suck, whether I give ten percent of my money to a religious organization or not. So, erring on the side of common sense, I'd rather keep my money. 

To buy more gin.

And it's not just the money, honey. It's the time and energy. If I need a sense of community? I'll join a book club. If they pick a book I don't particularly care for? I just won't go that month.

Sometimes I wonder if atheists are more involved with the dissection of religious dogma than the average church goer. Oh, I know those bible groups meet up all the time, but I view those gatherings as a sort of book club where everyone sits around, mentally masturbating and salivating as they try to one-up each other on just how 'boned' up they are when it comes to that particular book.  

If I belong to a book club, I want it to be one where we have a different book, on a different topic, every month. No need getting obsessed with words someone - very human - wrote. Particularly if that writer is a straight man with a bug up his ass. 

Straight men tend to think with their 'little brain' (some littler than others.)

I'm sure you've all heard about 'small town minds.' Yeah, well, where I grew up, the smaller the mind, the smaller the penis. Oh, don't take my word for it. You can do your own research. Just move to someplace like Iowa Falls for a year. Spend enough time on your knees and... you'll see what I mean. 

I enjoy doing my own research. 

And I did. For years and years, after having spent my first eighteen years as a Catholic, I began to look around and check out some of these other 'gods.' It took years. I was a Methodist, a pagan, an old age spiritualist, a new age spiritualist, a prosperity theologist. I researched the Torah and the Qur'an. I went to therapists. I read up on all the philosophers. Then I came back to Catholicism, because I thought maybe 'god' could save my Dad's Alzheimer-ravaged mind. 

And I tried for three years. Seemed like thirty. Felt like forty.   

Yes, through it all, I listened a lot and did my own homework. 

And watched others. Yes...

Observation is a great teacher.

See, that's the thing about most atheists. We're a pretty self-reliant bunch. Oh, sure, we grapple with the same emotional turmoil the average religious sort deals with, but we deal with it using common sense and well-being practices, such as exercise, volunteering, reading...  and little helpers like THC and gin martinis. 

All in moderation. We wouldn't want to get fanatical. 

You've all taught us what that can lead to.

I have to send a shout out to my friend, Rick, over at SickoRicko'sCrap. 

Once a week, he preaches the good word, posting all sorts of memes exploring the fallibility of religions and poking holes in the fabric of religious life.  

I appreciate it. 

Helps keep me on the 'right' path.

We wouldn't want any of that magical thinking sneaking its way back in.

And so, to close today's sermon, we recall the words of our blessed sister, the late Anne Marie In Philly from the Church of the Blogosphere (or was it the Church of the Poisoned Mind?), as we all say...

Gay-men!

Atheists Don't Have No Songs - Steve Martin 

& The Steep Canyon Rangers

Wonderland Burlesque's Turdscooter of the Week: Rick Wiles

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Turdscooter of the Week

Rick Wiles

“Who you gonna call?”

That is the burning question this week, according to one Rick Wiles.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as long as there are ‘men of god’ and self-righteous conservatives, so shall there be a “Turdscooter of the Week”.  And what would right-wing nut jobs do if it were not for the bilious pockets of shelter afforded them by American radio?

This week’s winner?  

Trunews radio host Rick Wiles, who seems to believe that when old dubba-u, dubba-u three breaks out, God won’t be saving the neck of America like he did last time during dubba-u dubba-u two.

Who knows, maybe it’s because God doesn’t care for sequels of a sequel? 

But, no, Mr. Wiles insists it’s because of the gays.  In his way of thinking, granting gays equal rights and allowing them to marry has doomed this country.

But, never fear… there’s hope, according to Wiles and his vision of this inevitable future:

“Worse case scenario is the submarines come up on the west coast and the east coast and just obliterate us while we sleep at night.”

Wait.  Is that a ‘worse’ case or a ‘best’?  Hmmm.  Apples, oranges?

Whatever the case, Wiles is certain that those pesky ruskies will soon be aiming their nuclear warheads at our golden shores (you know, as soon as the ruble stabilizes and, oh, I don’t know, Sony Pictures’ ‘The Interview’ wins an Oscar for best motion picture).

“We are on the edge of World War III,” claims Wiles. “And this time the United States of America does not have divine protection because we've become a nation of homosexuals and atheists and lesbians and God-haters.”

Did I forget to mention the atheists, lesbians and God-haters? 

Well, at least the gays are in good company. 

Mr. Wiles rants on:

“What are you going to do America?  If he (God) left and the Russian nukes show up? If the Russian submarines show up and you find out God left? Who you gonna call on, all you atheists? All you homosexuals?  All you God-haters?  Is your ‘gay god’ going to come and save you?”

Who you gonna call, indeed!

Well, not “gay god”.  That’s for sure. 

He still can't throw a baseball worth shit.

But Gay Jesus, on the other hand...