Today’s
lot is pretty much akin to one of those so-called ‘energy’ drinks: a dab of
nutritional nonsense, a bunch of eye-searing neon colors, a dose of chemically inspired
flavor, and a ton of sugar and caffeine.
Empty
calories, indeed.
Choke
this down.
Fever – The Black Keys
This
one surprised me. This is not The Black
Keys I remember. On ‘Fever’, their first
single from their latest album, ‘True Blue’, they’re aiming for radio
play. Sure, that vintage sixties vibe is
still there, but the Hammond organ part is tweaked, sounding more like
something an 80’s band would have played on a synth. In fact, synths do come into the mix later,
adding a hazy depth to the whole proceedings.
This
reminds me of what Franz Ferdinand and Phoenix served up in 2013. That’s not a bad thing, just surprising
coming from The Black Keys. Whether it
takes the duo where they want to go remains to be seen… things haven’t panned
out well top-40-wise for the likes of The Artic Monkeys and Arcade Fire, or the
aforementioned groups, but this is welcome relief from all the tween garbage
currently taking up the airwaves.
Weighted
by the rich, full vocals of Dan Auerbach, the song is basic enough and good
enough that at a future date it could be rescued from all its current
production values that pin it to this specific time period, and be presented as
the kick-ass song it really is.
You’re Mine (Eternal) – Mariah Carey
Released
on Valentine’s Day, this single finds Ms. Carey in love goddess mode, cooing
and whispering away in that feathery, lighter than air, croaky sound that now
passes as her voice. This is for fans
only. There’s nothing about this song
that earmarks it as anything other than pleasant filler.
There
is a remix version featuring Trey Songz where Mariah ends up as little more
than lace on the curtains, but that proves unsatisfying as well. Vocally, a shadow of her former self, this
diva is going to have to try a lot harder if she wants to maintain her status. This? This is about as entertaining as a television
holding pattern.
Give Life Back To Music – Daft Punk
Not a
lot to going on here; some sped up Chic guitar action, a pleasant enough chorus
and… that’s all she wrote. It keeps a
steady course, maintaining and going nowhere.
Yes, it’s a classic disco homage, but a little too on-the-nose and
vacant to keep my interest. Like
marshmallow fluff, it’s fun, but not very filling and you certainly wouldn’t
want to make a meal of this sort of thing.
Move that Doh – Future feat. Pharrell Williams and Pusha T (and Casino,
on the extended version)
Originally
titled, ‘Move that Dope’, this is the dumbed down title that makes it onto the
Billboard 100. We all know what they’re
referring to, but in order to make nice and get it on the shelves at Wal-Mart,
they have to ‘smiley face’ it up.
Future
makes like a mushy-mouthed Pitbull over a relentlessly busy assembly line beat with
synth splashes which keeps the whole thing edgy and twitching. That is until Pusha T arrives on the scene, delivering
exactly what you would expect from someone named Pusha T; some nonsense about
dealing drugs for life along with a bunch of other dull, predictable hype.
Pharrell
then manages some pretty trippy word flow, instilling life back into the scene,
though I’m not exactly sure what doing naked yoga with a bunch of ‘girls’ has
to do with anything. Ultimately his
contribution dissolves into that horrible ‘N’ word repeated ad nauseam, but by
that point the phrase ‘Move dat dope’ has been mumbled a billion times by
Future (that serves as the whole of the chorus), so repetition is not really
the issue here (except, of cours, it is).
On the
extended version, Casino shows up, overstaying his welcome while contributing
nothing of value, though I do admire his flow, which is at least unique and mildly
interesting.
I
assume Pharrell is on board to gain some of that all-important street cred, but
he should hang his head in shame for being associated with this cliché-ridden
tripe. Damn embarrassing. You all need to ask more of yourself.
Trophies – Young Money feat. Drake
Drake
tries to prove something on this so-so track, and had me laughing from the get
go. See him in the video and you will laugh
(for all the wrong reasons) even more.
He is such a total poser, lacking authenticity.
Young
Money has the real skills and sound, but the clichés abound and overwhelm.
It’s a
total wash making no impact whatsoever (though I do like the tiny bit of
horns).
Okay, I
would like to hear a rap song that includes NONE of the following:
Designer
names
Celebrity
names
Brands
of Liquor
Brands
of automobiles
That
nasty-ass ‘N’ word
References
to money
References
to ‘pimpin’
References
to ‘bling’
References
to ‘swag’
References
to drugs
References
to guns
References
to murder
References
to woman as: ho’s, bitches, skanks, gold diggers, or strippers
References
to genitalia
References
to sexual acts
Is that
asking too much?
Because,
if that is what you want to define as a ‘culture’, then honey, it is time for a
revolution. Life truly ought to mean
more and you all need to be bringing something fresh to the table at this stage
in the game.
Please
leave your submissions in the comment section.
Anything
with Macklemore does not count. Nor does
MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice. Childish
Gambino and Frank Ocean I am already aware of (and celebrate).
She Looks So
Perfect - 5 Seconds Of Summer
Sounds great on the radio. Edgy power pop which could have meant
something had anybody bothered to infuse the lyrics with anything other than most
harmless of tween preoccupations. Those pseudo-menacing sounding guitars
can’t mask the fact that the melody of the chorus is a carbon copy of billion
other Taylor-Swift-ish songs currently flooding the pop and modern country
markets.
And all the guitar poses, stupid piercings, skunk-punk
do’s, and skinny jeans can’t disguise the fact that this is merely another
manufactured quartet of too-cute tween boys who want you to ‘heart’ them with
your credit card. Given the age of those singing this piece of glop, I have a
hard time imagining them having lived long enough to ‘work too damn hard to just
it give up now’ anything.
Kudos though for inclusion of the word ‘underwear’. As in, she’s standing there wearing yours…yeah. Edgy, huh?
Roll eyes here.
Fancy – Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX
Hmmm. Her rhymes are fine. No complaints, really. Yes, she presents herself as a pleasure
object, dropping low and all that crap.
Apparently she takes her liquor straight which is… something to brag
about? And of course there is swag and
shopping and money thrown in the mix, because without that it simply would not
be ‘real’ enough, or speak to whoever her target audience might be. Sigh.
The
repetitive bass riff that powers the whole thing wears on me just a bit, but
there’s enough going on to keep my interest.
Charli XCX, last heard on Icona Pop’s ‘I Love It’, does no harm with a
slight, sing-song-y chorus and bridge.
Call this Brat Rap.
Stay With Me –
Sam Smith
Another pudgy, pale brit with enough vocal tics to pass
as something original. Put Boy George, F.Y.C.’s
Roland Gift, Simply Red’s Mick Hucknall,
and Level 42’s Mark King in a blender
and you have Sam Smith. That he’s a
talent cannot be argued. Along with John
Newman, this could be the tipping point of another British blue-eyed soul
invasion.
This song? We’ve
heard it a million times before, right down to the overpowering gospel-like
choir. The lyrics are clever, fine and
heartfelt, as is the performance. This
is Mr. Smith’s third entry on the Top 100 in as many weeks and his first as a
solo artist, so it looks like he may well be the next big thing.
Play It
Again - Luke Bryan
Baseball cap wearing, good-time charley, Luke Bryan
continues his winning streak with country loving frat boys and the like. What is the appeal? His weighty baritone goes down as smooth as
expensive bourbon while his songs hit all the right buttons – pick-up trucks, listening
to the radio, gentlemanly courtship, sweet-as-pie dewy-eyed girls… ugh. So boring.
I’ve looked at pictures of this dude up close. With those
bags under his eyes and that weird twinkly smile, he looks like he smokes a ton
of weed, as in, he is to country music what Matthew McConaughey is to movies.
‘Play It Again’ lopes along pleasantly, taking it’s time,
and acting like it has no place to go, quickly or otherwise. It’s harmless… and deadly boring.
Ride – SoMo
This boiler plate, slow seduction jam sounds like the many others that have preceded it. The treated vocals are annoying as fuck – dude sounds like a tinny bleating goat. It detracts what could have been a very nice, if unoriginal entry to the genre.
Prince has done it better. So has R. Kelly. It’s that whole treated vocal thing that robs
SoMo (that’s a name?) of the opportunity to establish a personality; something
vitally necessary for this kind of track to click with the listener. Not that it matters though… his passable poster
boy ready looks (and incredible abs) pretty much guarantee him a place on the
walls of teenage girls everywhere.
Sing – Ed Sheeran
Another surprise.
This syncopated slice of dance infused pop moves with a propulsion
unexpected. He catches the listener
totally off guard with an odd acoustic first verse before the back beat lands,
filling out and anchoring this little juggernaut. Then, once he breaks into his crooning falsetto
for the bridge to the chorus, a total revelation, there’s little doubt he’s got
the listener hooked.
Coming from the man who last was heard crooning moon-June
stuff with Taylor Swift and playing it all acoustical with his ode to a crack
whore, ‘Sing’ feels like it comes from out of left field. No doubt about it, Mr. Sheeran is here to
seduce and, for the most part, he succeeds, in a peppy Dave Matthews kind of
way.
With his eye on the prize and hungry for more mainstream
success; something tells me that ‘Sing’ is just the ticket Ed needs to board
that train.
