Wonderland Burlesque: Carol Burnett

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip: Carol Burnett

Sunday Diva/Three From The Hip

Carol Burnett

In my big gay church, there are many, many wings. One such wing houses The Women Of Television. These ladies came into our living rooms each week to add a bit of glamor, perhaps some humor, to our dull, gray lives. Oh, they may have also graced the silver screen or trod the boards, but their greatest gift to the world has been the glimpse of magic they shared with us week after week.

One such queen?

Carol Burnett.

Multi-talented with a gift for laughter.

She kept us in stitches for years and it felt as though the magic would never go away.

During the reign of her variety show, with the help of her gifted, in sync ensemble, whether she was spoofing a Hollywood classic, singing a song or doing a sketch featuring one of her iconic characters, she kept America glued to the tube.

Maybe it was the Bob Mackie gowns? Who can say?

And then, with a final tug of an ear lobe... it was over.

She moved on... to do film and stage work.

And though her life has seen it's share of heartache, she shouldered it and carried on. She even took on the tabloids and won.

Yes, our lady of laughter could never be kept down for long.

And her legacy will live forever... just ask her ten year-old fans.

The gospel according to her?

Well, here's three from the hip, dropping from her lips.

The topic? Becoming Carol

"I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas."

"Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief."

"My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved."

"My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres."

"On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing."

"My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too."

"My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run."

"I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland."

"I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw."

"My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen."

"I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism."

"I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper."

"Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up."

"I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will."

"I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts."

"When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?'"

"I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany."

"I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.'"

"When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen."

"In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door."

"I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called Once Upon a Mattress, that kind of put me on the map."

Shy - Carol Burnette

from the musical Once Upon A Mattress

(1964)

I'm Still Here - Carol Burnett

from the musical Follies

(1985)

The Ladies Who Lunch - Carol Burnett

from the musical Company
(1999)

And one last parting shot...

"My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?"

"I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today."

"When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh."

"It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony."

"Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids."

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Weekend Onesie: There's No Business For Fur Business

Weekend Onesie:

There's No Business For Fur Business

A sign of the times?

The world has given Ribnick Furs the cold shoulder.

Announced last September, the landmark Ribnick Luxury Outerwear in North Loop has sold its building and shut its fur coat store for good last December, ending a stunning 76-year run and bragging rights as the last surviving fur retailer in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

Is this a war PETA has won?

Let's hope so. There are better ways to keep warm, be fashionable, demonstrate privilege, and adorn one's self. I would like to think that being born into this world, raised in a cage, and then slaughtered, so a company can harvest your skin, sew it into a coat in order to make a profit is no longer something that takes place. There's certainly no need for it. There are synthetic, man-made alternatives.

In any event, this is a step in the right direction.

Who knows? If all goes well, one day plant-based foods will render another horribly abusive industry needless, as well.

This little victory brought to mind an iconic ad campaign; one that has persevered for decades. The faces that have presented themselves wrapped in a luxurious coat of death are all, indeed, legendary, as are the timeless photos of Richard Avedon, Bill King, and Rocco Laspata.

Here's a bit of trivia about the Blackglama ad campaign:

Began in 1968 and ended in 2017.

As of 1980, the models were never paid nor did their names appear on the ads. Instead, they each received a coat of their choice.

Carol Burnett was the only one to turn down a coat and instead asked for the money to be donated to charity.

Dolly Parton, Katharine Hepburn and Jackie Onassis turned down repeated offers to star in the campaign.

Liza Minelli, Lillian Hellman and Bette Davis all posed with lit cigarettes.

Janet Jackson was featured in the campaign two consecutive years in a row (2010 and 2011.) Claudette Colbert also appeared twice (1970 and 1971.)

Andy Warhol was so fond of the Judy Garland ad in the campaign that he turned it into one of his famous colored silkscreens.

The only men to ever pose for the campaign were Ray Charles, Tommy Tune, Luciano Pavorotti and Rudolf Nureyev. Frank Sinatra bowed out at the last minute.

Three years after appearing in the ads, Brigette Bardot would retire from the industry and become an ardent animal rights activist.

In 1984 Joan Rivers did an homage of a Blackglama ad for the cover of her comedy album with the line altered to read "What Becomes a Semi-Legend Most?"

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Ah, yes... there's nothing like a famous face to sell death. Here are a few of the greats: