Wonderland
Burlesque’s
Turdscooter of the Week:
Pastor James David Manning
(Again)
Pastor
Manning has the honor of being Wonderland Burlesque’s first back-to-back
winner! But read on and I think you will
see exactly why he’s so deserving.
Last week, Pastor
James David Manning of the Atlah Worldwide Church in Harlem, New York, renowned
homophobe and host of the online series ‘The Manning Report’, who believes,
among other things, that gays enjoying their lattes at Starbucks are spreading the
Ebola virus and that it would be appropriate to
stone gays “back to hell” dropped another little dingleberry of truth, claiming
that the appeal of Starbucks’ lattes has to do with a secret ingredient: the semen
of sodomites.
“Oh, this is the absolute truth, and I believe
that they were doing that.”
In his own
words:
“So my question is, where are they getting all
this semen from? My suspicion is that they're getting this semen from
sodomites. And somebody has discovered that semen, like cord blood, has the
opportunity and it has millions and millions of little zygotes in it and it
flavors up the coffee. And it makes you think you're having a good time
drinking that cup of latte with the semen in it. I'm not making this up!”
No, Pastor
Manning, you’re not making it up. But
the good folks at Huzlers.com, the humorous fake news site and source of your
information, sure did.
I would like
to believe that this latest folly would be enough to embarrass this supposed
man of God and cause him to disappear from the homophobic landscape, but I’m
not holding my breath.
I imagine
that Pastor Manning was so invigorated by all the attention garnered by his
last diatribe against gays and Starbucks, that he Googled exactly that and stumbled
upon Huzlers, falling for their bait hook, line, and sinker.
If Starbucks’
legal team has any time on their hands, I am thinking a nice little defamation
lawsuit might be the thing to put an end to Pastor Manning, his supposed ‘Worldwide’
church, and all his hate-baiting rhetoric.
So, let’s all unpack our gear and
cast our lines in the water as a means of saluting this week’s Turdscooter and
our very first back-to-back winner, Pastor James David Manning of the Atlah
Worldwide Church in Harlem New York.
2 comments:
I'd like to piss in his starbucks cup one morning!
I would love Starbucks to take him to court, take every dime he's got and give it away to LGBT organizations.
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