TMI Questions – Classic Edition: I Just Wanna Go To Sleep

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: 

I Just Wanna Go To Sleep

…and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd.

To die, to sleep;

To sleep, perchance to dream;

Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.

There's the respect that makes calamity of so long life…

- W. Shakespeare

I love to sleep.  Love to take naps.  Some days, that sweet escape is all I live for.

Those are the same times when sleep remains it’s most elusive.

No rest for the wicked.

No peace for the guilty.

Yes, it seems…

…a monster’s work is never done.

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: I Just Wanna Go To Sleep

What do you wear to bed?

Typically, if sleeping alone, boxer briefs and a white cotton tee. 

If it is super hot?  I will go without the tee. 

When sleeping with the boyfriend?  Nothing.  He doesn’t allow it.  Clothing gets between us.  We spoon pretty intensely throughout the night, which is something new for me, but, guess what?  I like it.  A lot.  Sort of live for it now.  It’s a case of; you don’t know what you’re missing.

Now that I found it?  I’m not giving it up.

Even if that means sleeping in the raw.

Who or what sleeps with you at night?

All my dogs used to sleep with me, but now they sleep with my ex. 

I sort of miss it, but I also had to accommodate them all the time.  Also, my restlessness tended to disturb their sleep.

Currently, my sleeping schedule goes like this:

Sunday thru Thursday: I sleep alone

Friday and Saturday: With the boyfriend

The boyfriend and I like to take naps, so we get those in there on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, usually after a workout or swimming. 

And, yes, we sleep in the buff then, too.

Do you like a cold room or a hot room?

I like a cold room. You can always add blankets.  Love sleeping in the winter.

That said, I get the chills really easily, especially in summer, so I have to be very vigilant about monitoring my body temperature, which runs on the cold side of things. 

Last night, it was warm, and I tried sleeping without any blanket.  Ended up waking up around 3:00 am, with a case of the chills – went right through me.  As per usual, it took me an hour to warm up.

So, I would rather sweat a little than get chilled.  Takes me forever to recover from those chills.

Lots of blankets or just one?

Two to three thick ones in the winter.  One light blanket in the summer.

In winter, when it is really cold?  I love piling on the blankets.   It’s like living in a fort.  I end up feeling so safe.

It also feels like I am hiding.

Do you hog the blankets?

No.  Never. 

And it’s funny – any time I have slept with a blanket hog? 

They never admit it.  You can point out the evidence the next morning, but they won’t cop to it. 

Dirty rotten blanket hogs.

What size is your bed and what kind of mattress is it?

I’m currently sleeping in a single bed.  It’s a daybed, but it suits me just fine.

To be honest, it is not very comfortable, but I also like to sleep on the floor or a hard, flat surface.  So, in a way, it’s just fine, for now.

Maybe in the future I will bother to get a real bed. 

But I don’t know what the future is about, at the moment, so…

…we’ll see.

Do you eat in bed?

Not really.

Sometimes I will sit on the bed and eat a bowl of cereal while I watch television, but that’s not very often. 

If I’m going to bed to sleep?  I don’t do anything else.  Maybe read.

Even when I’m sick, I will get up and sit on the couch and eat, rather than eat in bed. 

Eating in bed has simply never felt right, to me.

What kind of sleeper are you?

Horrible.

I don’t know how the boyfriend puts up with it, but he is a heavier sleeper, so that helps.

Unless I have taken a pill, or am exhausted to the point of coma, I toss and turn and run things through my mind, and make up stories, and fantasize about anonymous sex, or re-examine all my failings, or tear apart every relationship I have ever had, or relive theatre disasters, or…

Ugh.

I have a lot of nightmares.  Especially when sleeping alone. It is not uncommon for me to wake up two or three times in a single night, screaming. 

Sometimes, these nightmares follow me into waking.  The other night, when I opened my eyes, I was certain there were three slanty-eyed gremlins with three-pointed talons leaning over the back of my piano ready to pounce on me. I screamed and screamed and they went away.

And, also, last week, I woke in a fright, and felt something rush past me and dart under my bed.  I actually felt the air move and, therefore, spent the next hour or so, convinced that something was under my bed.

This, my night terrors, has only happened a few times with the boyfriend.  I think he termed it, ‘cute’.  It happens less when I’m with him; the longer I am with him.  I feel safer in his arms.  He has big, strong arms.

So, that’s what happens on those nights when sleep does come. 

Those nights, when it will not?

I used to spend a lot of time in bed concocting revenge scenarios or attempting to rewrite history, but no more.  I don’t believe in either.  The truth is fine by me, even if it’s ugly.  I own all my ugly.  And revenge?  That is so not me.  In this lifetime, my duty is to identify what is important and get over the rest of it, which is something I continue to get better and better at.

However, because I have spent a lifetime in the role of observer and witness, my mind tends to hold on to details that I would just as soon forget.  It likes to hurl these memories at me, like poisoned darts, in the dark, when I am least capable of fending them off. 

That said… recently, I believe I’ve taken on a new role.  A much simpler one, where drama doesn’t register on the radar at all.  Now, if the old world intrudes on the new one, I simply refocus on what is truly beautiful in the given moment, and appreciate the joy that is to be found there.

And, if that fails, I pour myself a gin martini the size of my head and sip slowly.

Ah, gin. 

Cures all ills.

What is under your bed?

Monsters.

No, seriously.

Nothing else.

No boxes, no electronics, no bedding, no porn, no slippers, no dust bunnies.

Just monsters. 

Lots and lots of monsters.

Bonus

What won't you do in bed?

Hmmm.

During that time period when I was expanding my whore-izons, there wasn’t much that was off the table (no blood, no scat, no permanent scars, no excessive pain)…

But that’s changed.

I’m no prude, far from it, but I’ve narrowed the field quite a bit.

For the most part:

No drugs.

No food.

No props.

No costumes.

No instruments of torture.

No porn.

No toys.

Unless I can do it with my mind or my body, it’s probably not going to be happening.

Yep, I’ve gone back to basics.

And, I’m lovin’ it!

Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooter of the Week’: Archbishop John C. Nienstedt

 

Wonderland Burlesque’s 
‘Turdscooter of the Week’:

Archbishop John C. Nienstedt

Last week, John C. Nienstedt, Roman Catholic Archbishop of St. Paul and Minneapolis, went on a media blitz in order to save his job and neck, telling the world he won't be resigning his position, despite criticism over the mishandling of sexual abuse claims involving priests.

As part of his spin campaign, he offered up an apology to those victims; an apology that has been dismissed by victim advocates, including Barbara Dorris, the outreach director of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests, who responded: “He continues to pretend that his deliberately deceptive behavior — over years — is just well-intentioned laxness, when ample evidence shows that’s just not true. He has repeatedly and knowingly protected predators and endangered kids.”

And she’s not alone in that opinion:

Jeff Anderson, the Minnesota lawyer representing a number of victims of clergy sexual abuse around the country, said “This guy is every bit the center of a serious and longstanding problem,” and that the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis’ cover-up was “among the most grave we’ve ever encountered.”

Which is why, among other sins, that John C. Nienstedt is Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooter of the Week’. 

Dear John,

As you know, I have had issues with the way you’ve handled your job for a number of years, dating back to the days when you spent over a million and a half dollars in support of banning gay marriage, here, in Minnesota. 

Let’s revisit your words at that time:

“Today many evil forces have set their sights on the dissolution of marriage and the debasing of family life. Sodomy, abortion, contraception, pornography, the redefinition of marriage, and the denial of objective truth are just some of the forces threatening the stability of our civilization. The source of these machinations is none other than the Father of Lies. Satan knows all too well the value that the family contributes to the fabric of a good solid society, as well as the future of God’s work on earth.”

A million and a half dollars, John - money that could have gone to help the poor, the hungry, the sick.  It was spent on mailing out a DVD full of misinformation, hate speech disguised as theology, self-justification, and manifestations of your misguided attempt to divide people. Your rhetoric actually called marriage equality the Devil's handiwork.

Your arrogance was on full display then, and, even though it’s spun in a softer manner these days, it remains your Achilles heel. I find your recent attempts to justify keeping your job self-serving and dishonest.

Claiming, now, that your efforts to ban gay marriage in Minnesota was nothing more than a desire, on your part, to preserve the rite as a heterosexual union and that, “it wasn't to put down people with same-sex attractions”, is nothing more than an attempt to rewrite history.

And, while I’m glad you finally admit that, “it is very clear that we did not handle all complaints the way we should have in the past”, I don’t believe for a moment that you “never knowingly covered up clergy sexual abuse.”   

John, all the polished spin in the world won’t make these ‘turds of truth’ vanish, nor will they erase the many skid marks you have left in the hallowed halls of the Catholic Church.

Given the current climate and circumstances, a wiser leader and man would realize that his continued presence in a leadership role in the church would do more harm than good.  A good leader and man would acknowledge his missteps, misdeeds, and mismanagement, and then step down. 

But you are neither a good nor wise leader or man, John.

“I have no doubt that my administrative and personal style, with its strong point of view, may have offended some. I apologize to those I have hurt. The last year has helped me realize I need to change my administrative style, soften my words, and get out from behind the desk to spend more time with the faithful. 

I have…, been too trusting of our internal process and not as hands-on as I could have been in matters of priest misconduct.” – Archbishop, John C. Nienstedt

Those sound like the words of a very flawed leader, John.

As to whether you’re gay or have engaged in sexual relations with other men?  I don’t care.  That’s your business.  If true, then you are a fraud, a hypocrite, and a self-hating homo.  I know you’ve denied these accusations, telling the Star Tribune, “I'm not gay,” but then you added, “And I'm not anti-gay” - something that your actions,  deeds, history, and past statements would seem to contradict. 

I don’t believe that an internal investigation, looking into the truth regarding “multiple allegations” accusing you of inappropriate sexual conduct with seminarians, priests and other men, as instigated by the archdiocese, will accomplish anything, other than spending more of the church’s money. 

The truth?  I don’t think you or your constituents are capable of recognizing it anymore.  And that’s why church members the world over a calling for resignation.  We no longer trust you, John.  And, at this point, your efforts to win back our trust are nothing more than a waste of your time and the church’s money.

So, do the right thing, John. 

Resign.

--- ---

So, dear readers, because we all know that ain’t never gonna happen, please raise a loving cup of comeuppance as we salute deceiver, spin artist, and established homophobe, Archbishop John C. Nienstadt as Wonderland Burlesque’s ‘Turdscooter of the Week!

John?  It’s not too late to change your evil ways! 

Repent.

And then, resign!

Friday Fun: Going My Way?

Friday Fun: Going My Way?

Would you?  Could you? 

You’re on a road trip.  It’s been a long, hard week. The tunes are blaring and the sun is shining, as you feel the weight of the world being whisked away by the rush of air around you as you accelerate out onto the open highway.  Where are you headed?  You don’t care, as long as ‘the real world’ gets left behind in the dust you’re wheels are kicking up.  You’re in a mood; the mood for a little fantasy.

Oh, but what’s this? Or, more accurately… who is this?

You don’t know him from Adam, but he looks like a big slice of paradise lost.  He’s got his thumb out, and, wait a minute... is that what it looks like?  Seems he’s in need of a little roadside assistance. You know you’ve got the skills, but do you have the time?  And what of the risk?

But then, isn’t that what road trips are about?  Taking risks?

Still, what would people say? 

They would remind you how dangerous it is, picking up strangers.  But then, you remind yourself, isn’t that exactly what you do every once in a while at your favorite bar?  Your favorite cruising spot?  That certain section of your local park?  Your local rest stop?

And he doesn’t exactly look dangerous.  More like mischievous, as if he knows exactly what he’s putting out there on display; a stellar road side attraction not found on any map.

So… what’s it going to be?

Offer a helping hand, or more, to a stranger in need?

Or cruise on by?

It’s the open road… and the choice is all yours…

Have a happy and safe weekend!

Wishing you all the very best.

- Uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque