Two New Keys

There are two new keys on my key ring.  One is all multi-colored dots, like a clown suit, and the other is black with a small red heart on it and the word ‘home’. 

I guess he likes me.

Me: who, in a fit of technological-induced frustration hurls a tin of soup into my shopping cart in the self-check-out lane at the grocery store; all of which he witnesses.  But instead of reprimanding me and making me feel worse, he remains (wisely) silent until we get out to the car, where he chides me in a way that makes me laugh at myself.  He can do this, because he gets me. We have the same temperament and he understands all too well what it means to be horribly frustrated and feel thwarted by life.

Me: who shuts down emotionally at one point during a marathon board game night (seven hours!) when one of the other players suggests, none too subtly, that my sense of humor lacks even the tiniest degree of sophistication.  Up until that point, I had been having a grand time, talking rather boisterously and chuckling up a storm.  It has been awhile since anyone put ‘baby in the corner’, and it didn’t sit well with me.  At one point I go to the bathroom and he follows, making sure I’m okay.  He does this because he cares that I have a good time.  He makes excuses for the other player’s behavior and, of course, he’s right.    But he doesn’t chastise me for pouting, because he knows the value of a good pout.

Me: who snarls loudly at other drivers who make what I see as ‘stupid’ mistakes while navigating our city’s badly plowed streets and roads, swearing like a sailor, sparing no one. Rather than chastise me, he, who has never really driven a car and has no license, does the same and in just as caustic a manner.  This causes me to frequently and gleefully point out exactly how silly it is for me to engage in this kind of contained road rage, as we both disparage the city of its inability to keep our streets clear of snow and bemoan how awful and trying this year’s winter has been.  He does this because he, too, knows all too well the frustration that comes moving through traffic at this time of year – but he does so on a bicycle! (I kid you not.)

Yep.  He gets me.

And he keeps ‘getting’ me.  He's found the key; the one that gets me to lower my guard and let someone 'in'.  And he's found that other key; the one that unlocks my 'happy'.  

Every weekend is another three or four nights and days of amazingly easy co-existence filled with joy and pleasure.  He’s generous with the kisses and nap time has never been so fun.

We keep growing closer.  We keep being grateful.  He keeps being patient.

We keep: working out together, laughing, getting naked, taking naps, eating out, cooking at home, having cocktails, trying new things, talking about media and art, talking about dogs and cats, working on logistics, playing video and board games, snuggling while watching movies and BBC comedies…

And then, after our Sunday morning work-out, he surprises me by insisting that we stop at the local Menards where he has two keys made: one for the front door of his building and another for his apartment.

And so I have two new rings on my key ring, granting me access to his home.

And, if I’m lucky, and smart, and believe in fate, and trust the universe…

…his heart.

Fingers crossed.  

TMI Questions: There’s Something in the Air

Hmmm… here in Minnesota, we still seem years away from spring, so I certainly know what is not currently in the air.  We just spent 42 days below zero.  Do that, and the whole season begins to lose its appeal, trust me.  

However, winter does have its own interesting smells to offer and I enjoy them all – the comforting smell of a fire’s smoke billowing from a chimney,   the crisp sheerness of water freezing into icicles, the smell of snow melting on warm woolen mittens.

In fact, I enjoy all the seasons (even if I bitch about winter like everyone else).  The change of seasons is one of the reasons I live where I do.  I’ve gone without them and those of us who have, really do end up missing the variety of sensations that waft our way when ushering one season in and the other out.  Still, the older I get, the less I want to bother with any of it; especially winter.

And that is not the only attitude to change.

As I’m growing older, I find myself wanting more and more to get things down to their essence, to discard that which is faux and synthetic.  This is true of my food and clothing more and more.  No, I don’t want to be one of those smelly granola types, for hygiene is still very, very important to me.  But I am not a priss about bodily stuff either. 

I understand that the human body produces odors and am adult enough to accept that – within reason; that’s why it is not uncommon for me to shower three times a day.

That said… I like my food, clothing, and bodies as close to nature as possible – without any bad stank, socially unacceptable situations, or risk of food poisoning getting thrown into the mix.

Yeah… this from a kid who used to think his sister’s strawberry lip balm smelled so delicious that he would eat it.  I also thought tin foil and Styrofoam cups were edible, too.

I guess we can all change, huh? 

Maybe it is ‘something in the air’.

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Questions: There’s Something in the Air

Do you have a sensitive nose?

Very.

I seem to pick up on things that other people fail to notice.  The tiniest leak of natural gas, for example.  The person I was living with thought I was nuts, but I kept insisting that I could smell natural gas in the basement.   It turned out I was right.  No, we didn’t call it in, but we did end up having an issue with our dryer, which ran on gas, and the tech insisted on taking a look at our furnace at the same time… sure enough, there were leaks. 

This happened twice in a 17 year period.

My nose is also very good when it comes to wine. 

I think this is also why I am good at deciphering the spices in foods.

Do you have allergies?

I never used to, but ever since I quit smoking some twenty-odd years ago, they have just gotten worse and worse. 

I also went through a good five year period when I thought poppers were the bomb.  I don’t do them at all now (though my heart races at the thought).  My point being, I think they did quite a bit of damage.

My sinuses are awful.  Especially in the spring and fall.  It causes me a lot of pain and bother.  I hate it. 

Molds, mostly.  Some dust.  I also have issues with pet dander, not that it has dissuaded me from owning pets.

This past fall, I shoveled and spread a ton of wood chips in the backyard at one of my rentals.  I paid dearly.  I even wore one of those hypo-allergenic mask things on my face for some of it.  The results?  Weezy lungs, full-blown snot war, eyes afire, head full of pain… cursed that whole experience. 

Won’t be doing that again anytime soon. 

Do you have a big nose?

I don’t think so… but it’s not petite by any means. It is one of my more ‘normal’ features, and, taken alone, is not bad-looking.  In fact, I like it.

I love big noses.  So fucking sexy.  The same can be said of big hands and big feet.  I find myself inexplicably drawn to them.

Years ago, I had a partner who was 6’5” and he had the Great Dane of noses.  Unbelievably sexy on his handsome mug.  Of course, he had a huge dick, too… so maybe that cemented that association in my head. 

But, no, even as a child, I was attracted to big noses.  Hmmm.

I always want to bite them.

What’s up with that?

Are there any smells that trigger memories for you?

All the time.  Trying to ‘place a smell’ is something that I frequently do.  And they range in degrees of pleasantness, too. 

One of my favorite things is to save the little paper cups chocolates sit in – as in, a box of chocolates?  That smell takes me back to my childhood when such things were very rare. I would dig my Mom’s Valentine’s box out of the trash and hang onto it forever, just smelling those paper cups. Not much of a sweets guy here, but I sure like those papers.

Other favorite memory inducers:

A wet canvas tent.

Or a tent inside when the sun hits it hard.

Flannel-lined sleeping bags.

There are the smells in old houses that remind me of my childhood.  Like the way a room full of old dark woodwork smells when the sun hits it and heats it up.  Or the way very old carpet smells in large rooms when the sun hits it. 

Some of those memories are not so good, but those smells take me back to that time.

What are some of your favorite food aromas?

Wow.  There are a lot.

Garlic.  Cilantro. 

Love herbs: Sage and Rosemary.

Love fruits: Pink Grapefruit and pear.

Veggies: Cucumber (even though I can’t eat them), brussel sprouts, asparagus, avocadoes, and green peas.

Love the smell of walnuts.

I love all those in the raw.  But the smell of a busy kitchen?  That can be a comfort.  It makes me feel more secure, less anxious if there is something baking in the oven or boiling on the stove.

What are some of your favorite smells in nature?

Milkweed.

Grass.

Hot dried out wheat, or golden rod.

Wet rocks.

Wet black dirt.

Damp, rotting leaves in fall. 

Freshly melting snow. 

Certain crushed bitter tree buds. 

The river as it thaws – the ice, the fish.

(This list could go on for quite a long time.)

Do you use air fresheners?

Absolutely not.  Hate that stuff. 

It is unnatural and I can’t imagine that it is good for one’s system.  Most of it makes me quite nauseated.  That Febreeze, crap?  The absolute worse.  I had a partner who sprayed that on our couch once and that was the last time that stuff was allowed in my house. 

I believe that we, as a society, have no idea what we are doing with all these chemical-based scent substitutes. I think about that Todd Haynes movie, ‘Safe’ (starring Julianne Moore). See it. Constant exposure to all this stuff can’t be good for us.

I don’t use fabric softener in my clothing for that reason.

Or underarm deodorant.   

Do you like scented candles?

Only if they are scented naturally with essential oils.  Again, most of the synthetic crap makes me nauseated – especially floral scents.

Though I do like the smell of melting wax and the sulfur of the match.  I find it very comforting.

Which food smells make you want to hurl?

Parmesan cheese used to bother me, but no more.  In fact, I rather love it.  

There isn’t a food that I have that kind of reaction to.  Even horrible cheeses – I find them intriguing, like dipping my toe into a fetid pool.

I’m not eating red meat these days.  The smell of it still intrigues me, but, like fried foods and fast food (both of which smell wonderful), I know it’s not for me. 

I don’t like chemically enhanced foods or faux foods – for instance Cheetos?  That bright orange sawdust they are covered in is creepy; smell it, rather than taste it next time – it ain’t right.   In fact, I can think of a lot of synthetic foods that – while they do not turn my stomach – don’t pass the sniff test.

What is the absolute worst smell for you?

Perfume.  Colognes. Hate them all. 

Mainly because people are clueless on how to use it , and that goes for those who wear  essential oils as well.  A little goes a long way, folks.  Bathing beats covering up something every time.

Also: fabric softeners, deodorants, commercial soaps – anything that is not natural. 

Floral scents, as mentioned. 

I used to take the bus to downtown in the early morning.  There was a woman who would sit in front of me, sporting so much perfume – some floral abomination - I would have to open the window, no matter the weather.  Once, she complained (it was freezing out) and I was in a bad mood, so I let her have it, explaining that having the window open was infinitely preferable to me vomiting all over the back of her head.

She moved to the other side of the bus. 

But I could still smell her. 

Oh, and the worst?  Being perfume bombed walking into an elevator.  Nothing worse.  Trapped with no air flow.  Ugh.

Bonus

What smells or aromas turn you on?

Yay, man stuff!

Leather.  Love it, lick it, smell it, worship it.

Some feet.  Some boots.

I used to love poppers (sigh).  Used to.

Cum and pre-cum.

Armpits – fresh and natural.  Love it.  Licking, eating, smelling ‘em.  Has to be fresh, though. 

Man funk under the nuts.  Sometimes this is not a good thing… but a person’s overall hygiene should always be considered before diving nose or tongue first into any crevices in the first place, am I right?  If the hair on the top of their head is not right, or their breath is bad, then the rest of them is probably in no better condition, so explorer beware!

Black men have the nicest funk. 

And speaking of sweet funks: my boyfriend, a German-Ginger, has them all beat with the most beguiling scent thing going on.  It’s unlike anything I have come in contact with in the past, and I really dig it.  It’s subtle. 

Fortunately, on the weekends, he forgoes deodorant.  The only thing he ever wears scent-wise is a little Aqua Velva – something I don’t mind too much, as it has a nostalgic air to it… like Old Spice. 

I like the way flesh smells after a run or a work out in the rain.

I also like locker rooms and gyms.  The manlier the better.

A jock strap fresh off the jock?  Oh, yeah.  Gimme.

Even socks will do it for me sometimes. 

But there are limits (though not many from the look of things I’ve just listed).

Well, that’s me: an equal opportunity enjoyer!