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2014/09/19

Friday Fun: Goes Down So Smooth


Friday Fun: Goes Down So Smooth

It’s been on your mind all day.  You live for it; counting the moments.  From the minute you woke up this morning and all through your workday, it’s all you’ve been thinking about. 

Your throat aches for it; your thirst is that palpable. 

Sometimes you think maybe you have a bit of a problem, but such thoughts get pushed aside anytime the opportunity to indulge arises.  And there are certainly worse things to be addicted to, am I right?

Like it or not, there’s only one thing that really satisfies that need.  And, oh, yeah… you need it.  Need it bad.

The vessel and taste of its contents may vary, but the payoff is always the same, the instant it passes your lips, fills your mouth, and hits the back of your throat.

So, what’s your pleasure?  Name your poison.  Don’t be shy.  It’s all right there for the taking.

Go on, reach in there and grab one.  You know you want it.

And don’t make the mistake of hurrying.  Take your time.  Be sure to savor every second.  No need to rush it.

Oh, yeah.

There it is. 

Your lips part in anticipation.  In your mind, you can already taste it.  A lifetime of experience fills your head - a reflex reaction, for you’re primed, awaiting that sensation you know will transport you to the place you long to visit.

You wish you could live there.

The moment it touches your lips, you know you’re in for a good time.

It’s the look and feel of it in your hands, the weight, the girth, the pure satisfaction you know comes from such things.

It’s an experience you indulge in and relish whenever and wherever possible.  You’re greedy for it, huh?  You laugh.  How many times have others called you a greedy little pig?

Yeah, little piggy… go to town.  Get a little sloppy with it.  It’s all good.

Don’t you love it?  How it goes down so smooth?  Cascading through you, fulfilling, elevating, and transporting you like nothing else in this whole messed up world?

Don’t hold back.  You deserve it.   

All of it.

Right down to the very last drop.

--- ---

Have a great weekend.
Wishing you all the very best.


- Uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque











































2014/09/17

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: What Do You Hate To…?


 TMI Questions – Classic Edition: 
What Do You Hate To…?

The thing I love about Sean’s ‘TMI Questions’ is that, in answering them, one never quite knows where they will end up.  That’s very true for yours truly because I have a tendency to go off on tangents and bring in a lot of unrelated material.  That’s just the way my mind works.

Take, for example, today’s entry:

Smell?

Perfume / Cologne

It makes me nauseated. 

I find it unnecessary.  It always makes me think that the person wearing it has something to hide.  They’re covering something up, right?  I trust my nose.

Floral scents are the very worst. But almost all perfumes and colognes bother me, while scented lotions make my eyes water and hurt.

I enjoy natural smells – soaps and lotions made with essential oils.

And real, natural man smells.  Grr.

Taste?

Nicotine

Nothing worse than kissing someone with nicotine breath.  Blech.  The taste is not good either.  That’s why messing about with a smoker is such a downer: their skin tastes like an ashtray, too.

I know smokers get all defensive when they hear that, but… reality sort of trumps someone’s inability to accept something as fact.

A foul smelling/tasting mouth is a big turn off.  There was a time when I would put up with just about anything, but these days I have no trouble pointing out to someone that they need to use some mouth wash.

And a mint ain’t gonna cut it.  Sugar is no substitute for a good rinsing or brushing.

Eat?

Uncut Apples

What?  Me?  Not like something uncut? 

But, yes, uncut apples are a pain – as in, it hurts to bite into them.  Something about the skin, the hard pulp scraping against my gums, and they are messy, with the juice dripping down.  And the seeds and the core.  It’s not a user friendly fruit.

Unlike me. 

I’m very user friendly.


Clean?

My hoard.

I love to clean.  Love to get the bleach water out and spray down the shower.  Love scrubbing my sink and toilet.  Love wiping down the kitchen and getting that porcelain on the stove nice and white. 

I don’t necessarily like all of it.  The inside of the fridge, for instance is a pain in the ass to clean, but I find that small-effort, constant maintenance beats having to deal with a neglected mess.

Love the simplicity of doing laundry.

I like organizing my garage.  My CDs.  My clothing.

But I stop dead in my tracks when I contemplate parting with, what I have to refer to as, my hoard.

It’s not all that much stuff, really – probably much less than most.  And on rare occasions, I have actually managed to load up my car and dump a bunch of it at a non-profit thrift store.  But it is a painful process – and I know this is true for many people. 

It’s about emotional attachment.  It’s about my gifting inanimate things with emotions and intellect.  It also has to do with “I may need this someday”, decision making, an inability to divide such work into doable increments, a need to honor the memories of others and the value they have placed on items, and an inability to let go of the past.

In the end, unless I am really well rested and have absolutely nothing else to do, I can’t seem to get started.  I stand there and look at it and get overwhelmed. 

Nope.

I’d rather play Civ5.

Cook?

Meat.

I haven’t been eating red meat for quite some time, but I have to cook chicken thighs for my dogs on a daily basis.  I dislike it, but they are carnivores and have certain dietary needs.  I can live with that.

Some switch in my head was moved to the ‘off’ position at some point, for now, the idea of eating bacon or a steak or beef roast or fried chicken really repulses me.   It’s the juices and the tendons and the muscle; the fact that it was once a living creature walking this earth does a number on my head. 

The same is not true of creatures of the sea.

Not sure why that disconnect exists, but it does.

Watch on TV?

Reality Television / Entertainment News

I have never sat through an entire episode or gotten hooked on any reality television show or entertainment news program.

I find them both crass and more a matter of manipulation, than entertainment.

In either case, they are not an exploration of the human spirit, but the crushing, packaging and degrading of it.  This is soulless stuff, folks – bottom of the barrel crap that wastes a lot of valuable resources and time.

It’s the nature of our new celebrity culture and an example of how desperate people are to become a part of it.  It (they) mean nothing.  They have no value.  We learn nothing.  It’s a form of titillation and nothing more.

I wish it would all stop, but, no… it’s only going to get worse.  The product placements on my morning news cast horrify me.  How does the fact that Taco Bell has a new egg scramble breakfast burrito qualify as news?  I know we all have holes to feed and need to make a living, but come on…

…have a little self-respect.  A little integrity.

We are but mere steps away from having a reality show where people hunt down reality television show stars for sport.

They could call it ‘Community Service’.

Do for your significant other?

Nothing.

It’s the things that I want to do for him that we don’t  seem to see eye to eye on – like vacuuming.

I like a clean house.  And, I admit, I’m a bit particular.  I enjoy vacuuming and straightening up and doing the dishes.  Once that stuff is done, then I can truly relax.

The other day, I accidentally vacuumed up (and ruined) the tiny headset for his PS4.  Based on his reaction, I was pretty sure I was going to be shown the door, but we worked through it.  Turns out he had a different headset, and it works just as well.

Since that incident, I am no longer allowed to vacuum at his place.

Oh, well.

As Marsha Mason once sang in ‘Only When I Laugh’, “Well, I guess I’ll have to change my plans, la dah dah di, la dah dah di, la dah dah dah….”

I totally get that it’s his space and that I need to respect his wishes.

Hmmm…

Good thing there’s a bottle of gin in the freezer.

Bonus
Do sexually?

Bother with condoms.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I do… now. 

But there were several years recently where I was fairly lackadaisical about the whole thing, which, I now realize, was very destructive and disrespectful.  I didn’t like myself very much and apparently didn’t like the people I was screwing around with either.  In instances where it was mutually agreed that condoms were not going to be used, I guess that feeling was mutual.

These days?  If I want some, I’m only too happy to put up with the slight annoyance of using a condom.

That change in attitude demonstrates that I like myself a lot more these days.

That… and I’m beginning to understand what it means to truly love someone.

I loved barebacking, but….

…I love him more.