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Acquired Tastes, Chapter I : Watersports

Throughout 2011 I will be writing a series of entries concerning various aspects of sexual behavior that fall outside the mainstream. This series will be titled, “Acquired Tastes”; and detail my experience with, understanding of, and reflection upon preferences and activities that enjoy a niche/cult fervor in the gay community. In an effort to remove my personal bias from the mix, I will approach each topic as impartially as possible and not pass judgment on those who partake and enjoy a given activity. It is not my intention to promote or condemn, but to explore and enlighten. Given my many sexual experiences, I think I’m in a unique position to lend some insight. I’ll try to remain as objective as possible and keep in mind that what qualifies as kink for some is pure vanilla for others. Whatever I have to say on a given topic is pure conjecture on my part (outside of my personal experience) and my comments are totally subjective in nature.

Why am I doing this? Because I like writing about dirty, sexy, filthy stuff and this allows me a new outlet and forum. It’s all for kicks and giggles.

Let’s dive in. As a jumping off point, I choose…


Scope of Activity:

Watersports involves urine and can include any of the following activities:

Pissing on yourself – wearing jeans or jock straps, on your chest, or naked
Pissing into your mouth and swallowing or spitting it out
Pissing on someone else - in their mouths, on their body, or in their ass (piss enema)
Being pissed on by someone else - in your mouth, body or ass
And, to a lesser extent: Pissing on buildings, in the woods, on automobiles, etc.

The Official Line:

Urolagnia (aka: urophilia, undinism, golden shower and watersports) is a
paraphilia in which sexual excitement is associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination.

This activity is somewhat common, engaged in by both heterosexuals and homosexuals and is categorized as a type of BDSM, although not all urologic sexual activity is BDSM in nature.

It should be noted that some people drink urine as part of a cleansing regime, without any sexual connotation.

Psychological Aspects:
The BDSM tag is not as misleading as one might first think. When two or more people are involved there certainly is an aspect of submission on the part of the person being pissed on, as well as a tint of domination on the part of the pisser.

I also suspect there may be, for some, an aspect of humiliation for the one being pissed on, especially if the pisser is dominant, verbal or if there is some type of role play involved where there is an inequality of power or the pisser is being ‘subjected’ to the whims of the pisser.

An observation: there seems to be a lot of older (read over 40 years of age) men participating in this activity. It may have something to do with the evolution of a man’s sexual development in relationship to aging. Like, cum, piss is a bodily fluid that is emitted from the penis. Perhaps proximity and association is enough to cause one to view urination as a sexual act. I think part of the reason it appeals to older men has to do the ease in which one can engage in it. In the same manner that a man is more likely to bottom, rather than top (personal observation) as he ages – perhaps he is also more likely to seek out new avenues for sexual expression due to physical limitations that inhibit typical/standard sexual activities previously and commonly engaged in prior to aging. Everybody pees (watersports), everybody has an asshole (to bottom) – those are constants no matter how old we become, but not everybody of a certain age can achieve a hard-on consistently (to top). I realize that there are those older men for whom urination is a challenge, as well as those who are unable to bottom, but in such cases those activities would not options for them, and again, I surmise, they will find some new means of sexual expression.

An email photo group that I belong to recently had an influx of watersport photos come down the pike. Some of the members were outraged, as the photos featured previously had (generally) been rather vanilla in nature. In response to the photos, member asked for someone to explain the appeal of watersports and the answers were quite enlightening and entertaining (and subsequently derided by those who refused to entertain the notion that someone might view urination in a sexual light). Among those replies that spoke favorably of watersports and attempted to define their appeal, the general consensus was that it brought two people closer together and that it simply felt good. The notion that piss play could be an intimate activity was rather new to me. In many of the photos that I have seen depicting it, the environments typically featured men in leather harnesses, bondage gear and the like, surrounded by slings, and bondage devices. Upon further reflection, I can certainly see how this activity could be viewed as a shared intimacy and part of a couple’s regular sex life in an ordinary home environment, such as the bathroom.

My Experience:
On the essence of urine: I have an appreciation for its warmth and that warmth pouring forth on my body and face. I also enjoy its fresh, musky, earthy, tangy aroma. Yellow is a healthy, happy color.

However, urine gets loses its heat fast. I don’t like being wet and cold and I do not like the smell of old, stale urine – in those circumstances, I do not find it sexy in the least.

Chewing on the pouch of a lightly urine-stained jock strap does have its appeal, but only if the jock is filled with a cock, the cock is getting hard, and the jock strap does not reek of stale urine

There is something sexual about unexpectedly walking up on and catching someone peeing outside. I have always enjoyed peeing in the woods. To this day, I still get a cheap thrill out of it.

Animals piss on things in order to mark territory. I’m sure that is what is at play when humans do it as well. In fact, on several occasions, people pissing in public in my presence have referred to it as such: marking territory.

In the late 90’s, during my first forays into the world of the internet, I met a man in a chat room who asked that I come over on my lunch hour and piss on him while he lay in his tub. Afterwards, he would gladly suck me off. I was curious, so I traveled to South Minneapolis and met him. He was a short, dumpy middle-aged man with a big droopy mustache. We got right down to business. Normally I am quite pee shy, so I saw this as an opportunity to prove otherwise. He undressed, keeping on a jock strap, and laid down in the tub. I unzipped and let it flow, hitting him on his face, open mouth, chest and the pouch of his jock. The entire time I was pissing on him he moaned. When I was done he took my dick in his mouth, got me hard and sucked me off. After I came, I picked up my stuff and walked out of his house, leaving him in the tub. It was short and sweet and rather… unremarkable. I thought it would be more fun. It wasn’t.

After that I would catch glimpse of the occasional watersports photo, but in general they did very little for me.

Several years after my first experience, I met a man on the internet who also expressed an interest in watersports. This man was at least 10 years my junior. I went to his apartment to tie him up. He had leather wrist and ankle restraints fitted to his bed. I bound him as he lay face down and then was supposed to fuck him, but before commencing, I mentioned that I had to take a wicked piss and he requested that I piss inside his ass. I was flummoxed. Hard as a rock, I was pretty sure I couldn’t piss with a hard-on and I knew I probably couldn’t get my dick in his ass without it being hard. It also meant entering his ass without a condom, and that was something I was not going to do at that time in my life. He convinced me to put on a condom and piss in the condom while in his ass. I slipped on a condom and into his ass and… I tried. I really, really did, but as I suspected, I simply could not piss with a hard on. After a period of about 10 agonizing minutes, I gave up, withdrew, and retreated to the bathroom where I willed my dick down to a semi so I could eke the urine out. The whole failure thing colored me with shame and the remainder of our session together was rather less than I’d hoped.

There was a period of time in the early 00’s that I had an on/off affair with a very attractive graduate student near the U of M. When I first met him I was under the impression that he was Middle Eastern; he had a dark, exotic, handsome look about him that made me swoon. However, during subsequent conversations, I was to learn he was, in fact, Hispanic. He was extremely athletic, with broad shoulders, huge calves, a well-defined chest, nice arms and the sweetest, cutest ass. Our sessions were filled with passion and vigor. Never certain of what he saw in me, I enjoyed being manhandled by him. He was quite dominant in both a physical and psychological manner and our sessions frequently bordered on the violent, leaving me with teeth marks, scratches and minor bruises. We almost always showered together after sex and that is when he would usually ask me to get on my knees before him so he could piss on me. In this context, I found the whole thing highly erotic, and while it wasn’t an activity that I necessarily looked forward to, expected or requested, it didn’t put a pale our interactions. Rather, it was the physical abuse that was part of our play that soured me on the relationship and, after a year of semi-weekly trysts, we fell out of touch.

This summer (?) a rather short, squat, balding, older man approached me as I was sunning at the prairie. He had been stalking about my blanket for some time before finally stopping and talking to me. Our conversation was stilted and polite, until he told me that what he would really love is for someone to piss on him. I played stupid and told him I didn’t have to pee, so I couldn’t help him out. Even if I had been attracted to him I doubt I would have granted his request because to this day I remain rather pee shy.

After discovering Xtube, I quickly noticed the preponderance of amateur piss vids featuring individuals pissing on themselves: in their mouths or on their chest, while wearing a jock strap or a pair of jeans. Sometimes these jeans and jock straps appeared reserved strictly for this purpose as they clearly showed signs of having been used repeatedly without the benefit of washing. Watching several of these vids did nothing for me, and now I don’t bother with them, in spite of their proliferation.

Within the past six months I met a man on-line who seemed good to go for any number of activities. His basement was equipped with all sorts of playthings and equipment, including an open shower. I had to pee and he desperately wanted me to pee on him. I complied, but again, other than being proud of myself for being able to in front of someone; it did very little for me and actually seemed to dampen any future enthusiasm I might have mustered concerning this individual. We’ve never met up again.

When the warehouse first began hosting parties, they had an old claw foot bathtub in one of the rooms. I think its intended audience was those wishing to engage in watersports. But, as it was not hooked up to a water source, or drain, I never saw anyone use it and it disappeared after about a month.

A friend from the prairie told me of a night club in Chicago (Hole) where, in the main part of the bar, where an anything goes attitude presides, individuals would serve as human urinals – kneeling while keeping their mouths open for anyone who cared to use them.

Recently, and I’m not sure what prompted this, I experimented with pissing on myself, in the shower - at home or at the gym. Initially it took the form of urinating while showering, but then I began to piss on my feet and then my legs and torso. Then, for about a week’s time, I would race into the locker room after a work out, strip out of my work out clothes, and, provided no one else was around and that there was little chance of anyone catching me, I would lie down on the shower floor (big open room multiple shower heads) and pee on my chest, face and in my mouth. It was thrilling, in a juvenile sort of way, but quickly lost its appeal. In a way, I knew I was exploring watersports as a possible a substitute for jerking off. Once this occurred to me, I stopped. Quitting also may have had something to do with the aftertaste of having piss in my mouth which I didn’t enjoy, for even after brushing my teeth and gargling with mouth wash, the aftertaste, at least psychologically, seemed to linger.

My Conclusion:
So, as you can see, my personal experience with watersports is quite limited, although sufficient enough for me reason that this is probably not an activity that I have a great desire to explore further. If some big, dom top wanted to piss on me, or for that matter, a whole group of them, I would probably be titillated as hell, but I can leave this world without fulfilling that vision all the same. That said, watersports remain an acquired taste that I have not acquired, though I do think I have a good grasp of both the physical and psychological mechanics involved. Whether aging has any impact on my desire to participate in such activities some time in the future remains to be seen, but at this time I have very little, if any, interest.

Next week: Acquired Tates, Chapter II: Arm Pits


Anonymous said...

I just found your blog a couple of weeks ago, and found it was funny-well done, but come on, do you think we are THAT STUPID to buy your salacious stories everytime, truste me, i've been sex addicted (like u seem to be) for a couple of years,and even when you cruise everyday online you can't all the men you say...
plus, i assume your face is not really attractive,otherwise you would show it instead of showing your average-i-do-abit-of-gym-veryday-body...
face plays a lot, so i can buy the fcat you shag a couple of randoms a week, but stop telling its amazing and itw as like this and like this, yuou are just makign a fool of yourself and last but no least,


never heard of it ? maybe u don't care, but think about young readers...

get some help

Upton King said...

So... it's been awhile since some anonymous troll has tried to take me down a peg or two and put me in my (supposed) place. Thanks for reading. Glad you like my writing and see the humor in what I do. But had you actually read my blog you would know that - 1/ all the sex I have had has not been good. I’ve written many times about the cringing soul crush of mercy fucks, being stood-up, lousy lays, rejection, etc. 2/ that I have frequently mentioned in my writings and readily admit that I'm nothing to look at. I often have no idea what the guys I hook-up with see in me, 3/I have made frequent reference to the fact that I'm a sex addict. All one has to do is consider the stats I've reported and one can't help but come to that conclusion. Just wait until you see the stats for this year, 4/ my body is very average, but I'm proud of it and get lots of compliments on its condition. I'm not a photographer, so maybe the pictures don't do it justice. I do work out 4-5 times a week for over an hour each time, as documented here and do a hell of a lot more than just "a bit". And for someone my age? Fuck, dude, my bod is stellar. Is it the reason people hit on me? Probably. I know it's not because of my face.

I'm making an effort to get away from simple accounts of my sexual exploits. That said, I will still report the occasional great fuck because there are a number of people who enjoy what I write. Am I making a fool of myself? Who cares? You want to judge me? That’s your choice. I do my best not to judge others, too harshly, with the exception of those that harm animals or children. Because I believe we all need gardens to grow in, and there must always be room enough for all of us, even those we disagree with.

As for the barebacking thing? I’ve waffled on that for a long time. It's a choice everyone needs to make for themselves. I don't condemn it, I don't endorse it. It is something that has evolved. I’m simply trying to be more honest about it and with those I have sex with. If you’d read all my entries you would see there was a time when I only fucked with condoms. Now? Not so much, if ever. Condoms – safe sex? They’re a choice. So is reading this blog.

As for my young readers(?)- I'm not setting myself up as anybody’s role model. If anything I am a cautionary tale. The young will do whatever they want and I hardly think anything I have to say or write in this tiny, insignificant blog is going to influence anyone.

Get help? Like what? I don't want a house boy or a maid. At this point in my life I'm as healthy as I am going to get, sweetie. So fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I wasn’t put on this earth to help some headshrinker pay his inflated mortgage. But thanks for the suggestion.

Here's a suggestion for you - go start your own blog and once you've published over a hundred entries I will drop in and let you know what I think of you and your work. Until then? Shut the fuck up. Evil trolls like you are just something that comes with the territory for bloggers. Those of us who have been out here for awhile? We're onto you. But, hey... we appreciate the drama.

Oh, and another suggestion? Get laid. Seriously, it may be at the root of your problem. Or is your problem that you can't get laid? If so, don't take your frustration out on those of us who can. That shade of green is not flattering on anyone. Fact is: I'm good in bed. It is one of the few talents I’ve been blessed with. And some anonymous, no-faced, no-email address, little bitch like you can’t take that away from me. Ever.

So... in light of the fact that no one will lower their standards long enough to do the deed... one last suggestion: please... go fuck yourself.

Kisses. And thanks for writing, babycakes.

Now... fuck off.

Skilled4Men said...

HA!!! "You Go, Upton!" I'm putting you right up there with Iron Man -for Bravery, Conviction, and Utterly Sexy Finesse! "BRAVO!!!"