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2011/02/05

Acquired Tastes, Chapter IV : Exhibitionism

Originally, I had planned to discuss exhibitionism and voyeurism in this week’s Acquired Tastes, but after further reflection, I realized that, while related, they are two very different beasts. So this week I will limit my exploration to exhibitionism in all its many forms.

I love the idea of exhibitionism. It’s a real turn on – in theory. Like last week’s topic, tea room sex, exhibitionism has its share of risk involved, however, while the risks involved in having sex in a mens room doesn’t stop me from engaging in that type of behavior, those involved in exhibitionism frequently stop me cold.

What’s the difference?

Well, in the case of tea room sex, I only go to rest rooms that are known for that type of activity. Restrooms are also rather insular in nature, cloistered – I can sit and hide in a stall if I want. The rooms themselves are also relatively small in size, so it is easy to scope out the situation and modify my behavior accordingly. Of course I still run the risk of being walked in on by a child or adult male who has come to use the facility for the purpose intended, but remaining aware of that possibility and by being a bit discreet about my activities I allow myself adequate ‘recovery’ time and the means to do so in order to escape detection or attention.

With exhibitionism that discretion is thrown to the wind. There are simply too many unknowns for me to personally be comfortable with it. I would never want to expose myself in a sexual manner to people who have no desire to experience that and just the thought that a child might wander upon the vision of me running around in the buff stops me cold. Given those distinct possibilities, I view exhibitionism as a form of psychosexual terrorism. Granted there are places where one can minimize the chances of being discovered, such as the prairie I frequent in the summer. However, even at the prairie, I err on the side of caution because you never know who is about – bicyclists, families on a hike, cops, etc. So even nude sunbathing is out of the question for me under most circumstances. Again, I would never want to inflict the sight of my naked physical self on the unwilling, even when such nudity is not sexually explicit.

Exhibitionism

Scope of Activity:

Involves the exposure of private parts in an environment where one (male or female) is likely to be seen by strangers. Intent may or may not be sexual in nature; however, this post will limit itself to only examining instances when the act is sexual in nature.

The Official Line:

Public exhibitionism has been recorded since classical times.
Exhibitionism as a disorder was first described in a scientific journal in 1877 by a French physician and psychiatrist Charles Lasègue (1809–1883).

In some situations exposing one’s privates in public is a crime of indecent exposure or public nuisance. Though the offense is not often prosecuted, it is taken especially seriously when the offender is male. In Minneapolis and St. Paul they take such offenses very seriously and frequently prosecute offenders to the fullest extent of the law.

Various types of male and female behavior classified as exhibitionism of a sexual nature include:

Anasyrma: the lifting of the skirt when not wearing underwear, to expose genitals
Apodysophilia: an undue eagerness to disrobe


Candaulism: when a person exposes their partner in a sexually explicit manner


Flashing: the momentary display of bare female breasts by a woman with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra or exposure of a man's or woman's genitalia

Martymachlia: a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act

Mooning: the display of bare buttocks by pulling down of trousers and underwear. There tends to be a gendered double standard here: with males, the act is most often done for the sake of humor, disparagement, and/or mockery rather than for sexual excitement, whereas with females, the reverse tends to be true, with the sexual arousal (or at least sexual attention) of those being mooned being the desired result

Streaking: the act of running nude through a public place

Psychological Aspects:

Some people have a psychological compulsion to sexually expose themselves. The condition is sometimes called apodysophilia.

A research team asked a sample of 185 exhibitionists, “How would you have preferred a person to react if you were to expose your privates to him or her?”

The most common responses were:
“Would want to have sexual intercourse” (35.1%)
“No reaction necessary at all” (19.5%)
“To show their privates also” (15.1%)
“Admiration” (14.1%), and “Any reaction” (11.9%)
“Anger and disgust” (3.8%)
“Fear” (0.5%)

My Experience:

In light of the definition we’re working with, many of the examples I would consider exhibitionism don’t qualify. Those include episodes in bathhouses and tea rooms – because even though I felt exposed in those circumstances and garnered the attention of a group of men (purposefully), anyone in attendance had a reasonable expectation of seeing public sexual acts in those environments. So I will limit my examples to times when I willfully and with sexual intent, risked exposing my naked body to others who had no reasonable expectation to see such a thing.

There is a degree of humiliation when getting caught naked. I remember getting caught several times when I was a football manager. The team would be out at the field, while I remained inside. Thinking I had the locker room to myself, I would sometimes strip off my clothes and either take a shower in the coach’s private shower in his office, or walk from locker to locker trying on the player’s underwear and jock straps before using the group shower. Being naked, I found the environment very stimulating and felt extremely naughty. I recall getting caught twice – once while taking a shower and jerking off in the main group shower and once when I was fooling around in the whirlpool (I liked to aim the jet stream at my dick). I managed to recover from both without drawing too much attention to myself, although it was awkward. Both times it was an instance where a player came back from the field unexpectedly – one had a family event he needed to attend and the other was injured. Each time I was quite embarrassed, but managed to cover up my hard-on and escape detection… at least I assume I did.

Last year, when I spending time out at the prairie in the summer and there is no one else around, I would challenge myself to get naked and walk around. In an area frequented by hikers, fishermen, mountain bikers and the like, one is never truly alone, so I hedged my bet, waiting until close to 6:00 pm before disrobing, figuring there is a good chance that everyone is headed home to dinner. The details of one such instance, when I was joined by a fellow ‘nature enthusiast’ can be found here: http://wonderlandburlesque.blogspot.com/2010/07/going-nude-having-balls-to-do-it-and.html

On a summer evening several years ago, I was cruising on-line, looking for something/someone interesting to do. A dude with no pic in his profile, but really decent stats hit on me. He was into exhibitionism. He wanted me to come over to his house, drive down the alley and park my car in his driveway, where I was to strip and then walk into his backyard through the back gate next to the garage. There, he promised, I would find him, running around naked, jerking off. I was intrigued and since it was such a lovely summer night, I thought it would be a gas.

I arrived at the appointed time. It was quite dark in the alley, save for the light above the garage door. After peeling off my clothes, I stole out of my car and made my way to the steps which led up to the back gate. The wooden gate opened onto a backyard surrounded by a solid, six foot fence. I could see the back of the house, which was uphill from the garage. There was a good 15’ of lawn in between the house and the garage. Slowly my eyes adjusted and I could make out a figure lying in a chaise lounge on the patio adjacent to the house. Enjoying the night air as it caressed my body; I leaned back against the garage and began playing with my dick. Even with the distance between us and the relative darkness I still got a sense that the figure in the chaise lounge was doing the same. Once I was hard, I made my way up to the patio. Soon I was standing a matter of feet from the man lying in the chair. Despite the heat of the night, he wore a ski mask; otherwise he was naked as he worked away at his dick. He was completely erect and looked to have a nice seven incher of average width. His body was taught and it was obvious he was a cyclist or a runner. Even in the dark of night I could tell he had a beautiful tan.

We’d agreed that there would be no physical contact between us; this was to be all about watching the other. We moved about the backyard parallel of each other, striking various poses for one another while showing off our various body parts. I kept waiting for him to shoot his load or to give some indication that I should. Instead, after about twenty minutes of play, he opened a side door to the garage and slipped inside, leaving the door wide open. I walked over to the doorway and peered in. He was standing in the middle of the second floor of garage. It looked like an unfinished attic and contained very little, save a rake and a lawn mower. Standing in the doorway, I watched as he continued to play with himself, unsure if I was meant to enter. He kept retreating into the space, drawing me in, and finally, after he actually disappeared through another open doorway, I walked inside. There was a window opposite the door and that is where I decided to go stand. As I did I imagined someone accidently looking up from their yard on the opposite side of the alley and catching a glimpse of me in profile, jerking my dick. My fellow exhibitionist returned and stood closer to me than he had previously. I turned and offered him a view of my ass, bending over and spreading my ass cheeks apart. He bent down and I could feel the warmth of his breath on my ass. Inhaling deeply through his nostrils, he took a whiff of my hole. Apparently that was all it took. He stood up and deposited his hot load all over my ass. Then without touching me, he crouched down again and took another whiff. I felt like a frosted cupcake. He remained crouching as I turned around and stood over him, working my dick and eventually baptizing him with a healthy load. Once I was spent, he rose, handed me a roll of paper towels and exited the garage. Game over. I wiped the cum from my backside before following him out and was about to exit via the gate when I heard a gruff voice coming from the direction of the house.

“Let’s do this again some time.”

I nodded in the darkness and then left. We never did get together again. C’est La vie.

Another summer night, I got picked up by a dude with a mustache and an honest-to-God mullet. He was the epitome of some California 70’s porn star, dressed in a pair of raveled, very short, cut-off jeans. Out of the legging of those cut-offs hung the tip of his dick and a pair of nice lowhangers. I hopped in wearing only a ball cap and a pair of work out shorts. We were going to strip down and drive around on the highway, jerking ourselves and each other off while showing off for the truckers. To this day, I like the idea of doing this, and admire those who are brave enough, but I’m always afraid of getting pulled over by the cops or having a trucker take offense, write down the car’s license plate and report it to the police. That night we drove around for about an hour before parking in the parking lot of a grocery story and spewing our loads.

As I mentioned previously, timing plays an important part for me when contemplating any type of nudity outdoors. I’ve found early morning, as in, on my way to work around 5:30 am, to be a safe bet. I once set up an assignation with a skinny, hairless bottom I fancied. We were to meet on the top of a hill in a park in Golden Valley. We both dared the other to make our way naked up the hill which meant parking on a residential street that ran along one side of the park and stealing in unnoticed, as the park was not even open to the public at that time in the morning. Once in the park, I realized that it was quite dark and while I knew the place like the back of my hand during daylight and dusk, wandering about in the pitch was another matter. Everything looked different. After some struggle, I found the bottom of the hill, dropped my shorts and climbed to the top. There, perched on all fours on a picnic table with his beautiful bubble butt in the air was my chosen target serving up his hole like a Martha Stewart Christmas dinner. I dove in face first, before slipping on a condom and doing the deed. It was short, sweet and to the point, but the dawn that greeted us made for a great, climatic, special effect.

For a time I had a bud who was partnered and we would meet super early in the morning for naked romps. He had this specific site along the shore of the Mississippi he liked to meet up at in the heart of North Minneapolis. I would arrive before he would and park my car quite a distance from the site. Changing into my work out gear I’d then head across the lawn of the park until I found an entrance to the trail that ran parallel to the river. Some mornings the dew hung so heavy in the air I felt like a swollen sponge by the time I reached my destination. All along the trail I would leave a bit of my clothing – my shorts, my t-shirt, a sock before arriving at my favorite log, where I would hang my jock strap from a low hanging branch to indicate I was good and ready. Then I would lube up my ass, bend over the log and wait for my bud to walk up behind me.

It was a little risky. The area was frequented by homeless people; their debris lay all over the ground including food tins, empty liquor bottles and abandoned, burnt-out campfires. A railroad bridge ran the expanse of the area. I always worried that a train would pass by and that the engineer would see me with my ass in the air.

My bud would eventually arrive, having picked up my trail of clothing along the way. He would deposit it on the ground with his own before walking up behind me, lying down on top of me and wrapping his arms around me; his fat dick nestling ever so sweetly between the cheeks of my ass. We’d have a great time fucking, sucking and kissing. He was about a foot shorter than me, with boyish looks and a nice, firm body. It felt great to be so exposed; very earthy and primal. Once we were done, despite the garbage strew about us, we always took great care to pick up whatever we brought in with us (used condoms, used wet wipes, etc.), taking it with us so as to not leave a trace.

My Conclusion:

I have a feeling as I am getting older, I am also getting braver. This summer could feature a lot more risk taking on my part, especially out at the prairie. When I see others bravely strutting their stuff, or lying out in the nude, I admire their courage and am a bit envious, wishing I could be so bold. Of course, it could be that at this point in my life nobody would want to see my naked body. I can definitely think of a few folks who hang out at the prairie who should reconsider baring all (http://wonderlandburlesque.blogspot.com/2010/05/prairie-homo-companion-meet-irregulars.html), but to each their own. If I don’t want to see it, I can always avert my eyes (and do). Those that don’t want to look at me can do the same.

I wish we lived in a more permissible society, one more comfortable with nudity, but we don’t. And this is one area where forcing change is definitely not a good idea – doing so will only get you in deep trouble. So my advice is to always err on the side of caution when letting this particular freak flag fly. Be on your guard and be considerate.

Next week: Underwear

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