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2014/03/26

TMI Question: Let Me See Your True Colors

Understanding color involves work.  In order to wear color well you really must be smart, pretty and/or in excellent shape. 

Then you can get away with just about anything. 

Or, just don’t give a rat’s ass.  Then you can get away with just about anything, too.  Which helps explain all those ‘Walmart’ types. 

And much of the south.

Black.

Black, on the other hand, is the friend of lazy, misshapen people everywhere.    

It is our friend.

Especially at night. 

(You will never see us coming…)

TMI QUESTIONS:
Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/

TMI Question: Let Me See Your True Colors

What is your favorite color?

I don’t have one.  Honest.

I like them all.  I like some less than others, but I could not pick a single color.  That would be like getting a packet of Skittles and only eating the red ones.

Eat the rainbow!

(I hate Skittles.)

What color are your eyes?

Long answer: Depends on the sky, the color of the walls around me, what I’m wearing, and, I think, my mood.  They range from blue to green to grey and everything in between.   I have been told they are my best feature.  I have been told that they are quite fascinating.

But then, I’ve been told a lot of things…

Also – that doesn’t fit on a driver’s license (or at least that’s what the crabby lady at the DMV told me).  So…

Short answer: Blue

What color is your hair?

Growing up I was the truest of blondes.  All of my siblings were.  When we performed together onstage, it was blinding.   Think ‘The Partridge Family’ meets ‘Children of the Damned’ meets the Von Trapp family.

Yes.  We were delusional (and truly loved in nursing homes throughout the tri-state area). 

I began losing my hair in my late twenties, probably due to all the clueless abuse I heaped upon it and genetics. 

Now, I buzz my head almost every day.  If it has a color it is a combination of white, silver, dark grey, black, gold, and blonde.  But I will never really know because if I have anything to say about it, my head will be buzzed for the rest of my life.

No eagle’s nest for this dude.

I’m not that delusional.

What color is your bedroom?

White.  I think all walls should be white.  Any other color is an abomination.

White hides cum stains the best.

Which color do you look best in?

None, really. 

Black, maybe. 

And preferably something with a hood that covers my face and head.  I consider myself something of a humanitarian and there’s enough ugly in the world already.

Is there a color you never wear?

Pink.  Hate it. 

Real men don’t wear it. 

It never looks right.  Makes most men look like a cartoon pig.

Ble-ble-ble-ble that’s all folks!

How did you pick the color of your car?

I wanted a boring car.

I wanted something no one would steal and would blend in with the scenery. 

I wanted a car that would not make a statement, attract attention, or be a reflection of who I am.

I wanted a car that would get me from here to there and not use too much gas.

I wanted a car that would start when I wanted it to, go where I needed it to, and stop when I got where I needed to go.

I got a silver Saturn Ion.  It was the most boring dependable car I could find.

I do not regret it.

For those that see vehicles as a means of personal expression: A car is not a reflection of who you are, it is a reflection of your most prevailing neurosis and your ego.

Are your eyes ever green with envy?

Yes.

Of all those people driving around in a reflection of their most prevailing neurosis and their ego.

Sometimes I envy the young gays.  But then I see how stupid, spoiled, and full of themselves they are and I secretly smile knowing that one day the fist of life is going to ram its way up their stupid butt holes and make sock puppets of them all.

Sometimes I envy the rich.  But then I realize that I am lazy and lazy people rarely become rich.  And that if being rich is what is truly important to me I’d better get on with it already.  Clock’s ticking, babe.

Sometimes I envy the powerful.  But then that looks like a lot of work, and I remind myself how lazy I am, and then I go on the net and look at some free porn.

Basically I can talk myself out of envying anything and anyone.

All that free porn helps.

Because, basically, I do like myself, enjoy the hell out of my life, and get a kick out of flying under the radar.

So, fuck you all; you young, rich, powerful things. 

Now, where’s the gin?

Do you have a signature color?

Black. 

And other muted, solid colors (though the occasional horizontal stripe will sneak through).

Patterned clothing confuses and frightens me. 

Me, and that unfrozen caveman lawyer.

How much do you love Cyndi Lauper?

I ‘heart’ her so much!

She rocks.  And kicks major ass when performing live (I’ve seen her only once).  

And she still has her voice!  No small feat for someone with her vocal style.

Favorite songs:        

  • Same Old F*cking Story
  • Hat Full of Stars
  • My First Night Without You
  • Change of Heart
  • Money Changes Everything

I have enjoyed everything this woman has ever recorded.  That said… that musical she did about the cha cha heels, or whatever?  That did not speak to me on any level.  Yet.

And what a friend to the gay community!   Her work on our behalf has been absolutely amazing. 

I nominate her for gay sainthood.

Bonus
Gray hair is sexy here_______, there_________ but never ________.

A full head of nicely groomed gray hair is very sexy.  Silver fox time.

A chest full of grey can be sexy, provided things are maintained.  Wiry, weird occasional one-off’s are strange to behold and never sexy.  That goes for pubes as well, only the trimming is a must here.   Same goes for beards, mustaches, and eye brows.  All can be sexy, if properly maintained, cleaned, and trimmed.

A nice ass covered in grey?  Not a bad thing, if said ass is at least reasonably toned.  Same goes for legs.

Grey hair is never sexy as follows:


  • In a ponytail
  •  In an eagles nest surrounding the back of your head
  •  In an eagles nest surrounding the back of your head that ends in  a ponytail

  • Worn long, thin and straggly on your head, face, or chin
  •  On your back
  • In your ear
  • In your nose


Note: If you are over the age of 36, do yourself and those who may find you sexually attractive a big favor: purchase a hair trimmer, learn how to use it, and then use it – daily.  Maintenance becomes a daily thing after a certain point.  Find the time and take the time. 

If you think you are getting by with that ‘casual’ look, allowing things to naturally take their course – oh, boy… are you fooling yourself.  Sure, maybe you will find some granola type with a Daddy fetish that digs that sort of thing, but you’re also repelling a lot of other types.

Why look like a homeless person unless you are, indeed, homeless?












2 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

long grey stringy greasy hair in a ponytail is WRONG on every level.

whkattk said...

My eyes are blue - and can change shade depending on the shades of clothing I wear. Blue is also my favorite color.
I wear mostly black, greys, and blues. Black is my choice of color for clothing though - I started my theatre career in Tech, which might explain my black wardrobe. Though, once I got on stage and then in front of it, I'm not sure why I haven't branched out.
Gave up Envy green years ago...