TMI Questions: Do You Wanna Play Doctor?
I’d rather play house.
And I don’t mean the television show.
Role play is an acquired taste, informed by our earliest experiences. It’s a kink I am familiar with, but my focus has never been physician based. I don’t find necessary things sexy, I guess. And going to the doctors? That would be very necessary, especially as we age.
That said, it’s all good.
But give me a good old blue collar situation if you wanna sex me up.
Or let’s play farm boys. Or Scout master (bators).
I do get off on power imbalances… and that’s why at this stage of my life I do not find doctor’s sexy.
As a patient, I am an equal partner in regards to my healthcare. So, there is no power imbalance. Ultimately, when it comes to my health… I am in control.
Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information
TMI Questions: Do You Wanna Play Doctor?
Do you remember playing doctor when you were a kid?
Yep. Just once. It was with a female cousin of mine who was two years older than me. I was sleeping over at her place, a horse ranch. We were sleeping out in this tiny shed near the main barn, when, just before dawn, we decided to get naked. I felt her up and I know we checked out what we both had and I think we kissed, but that was the extent of it.
As dawn approached, we moved our naked selves to the roof of the shed and watched the sun come up.
When choosing a doctor, is their gender or sexual orientation a factor?
I have both male and female physicians – and have good relationships with both.
Truth is, I prefer a female physician – they tend to come in three types: the tough love sort, the understanding friend, and the nurturing earth mother. I respond well under the care of all three.
Back when I had need of a therapist, I used to seek out lesbians, for, in my experience, I found them to be goal-oriented, employing a nice balance of tough love, common sense, and sympathetic understanding.
Bottom line, I have no preference. You just need to know what the hell you are doing and exhibit a degree of empathy.
How do you feel about needles?
They don’t bother me at all. I’ve been poked so many times I could be employed as a pin cushion.
I have suffered under the hands of a number of really poor phlebotomists. I had one come to my home and not want to give up, so she poked me over a dozen times (which is so against the rules). I also had a mean one once in the emergency room in Santa Monica, who insisted on giving me I.V. fluids via a port on the top of my hand – which is extremely painful and, in this instance, absolutely unnecessary. He was a total dick - either in a bad mood or hated me because I was gay, I could not tell.
I have great veins due to lack of body fat and working out, so typically they get me on the first jab. I never look away; in fact, I watch what they are doing very closely. I’m at the point where I think I could actually do it myself.
Mother's, especially Jewish ones, always seem to want doctors for son-in-laws. Did you ever dream about dating/marrying a doctor?
No, though I used to have sexual fantasies about some of my male doctors when I was younger.
I always wanted that yearly sports physical to morph into something from a porn movie, with me springing a big old embarrassing hard on when the doc asks me to ‘cough’. Once my doc had properly ‘instructed’ me regarding how to manage such a condition (by demonstrating on himself, of course), then my Phys. Ed. Teacher would have to be brought in for a…. ummm… second opinion.
Oddly enough, I’ve never had a fantasy about marrying anyone based on their position or status.
Who do you take to the doctor faster, yourself or your pet?
My business partner/ex and I are rather over-the-top when it comes to taking our dogs to the vet. He tends to push the emergency button more quickly and frequently than I, but I am all for spending money to keep my critters happy and healthy.
In the past five months I have put the brakes on that. In fact, I believe we may have doctored one of our former dogs too much – guilt I wrestle with to this day. At the time I just wanted the situation ‘fixed’ – I wanted the dog to be pain-free and happy - and sort of went through the motions of whatever my business partner or the vet told me to do.
In the end, it was not good and did not result in the outcome I had hoped. That failure – to practice a bit of common sense – haunts me.
I have always taken my responsibilities as a pet owner very seriously, but, in this instance, I was without a compass and had lost my way.
I drag my own ass to the physician on a regular basis. At this point in my life, it’s like upkeep on a house – if you don’t stay ahead of it, you will find yourself without a domicile to hang your hat.
Do you consider yourself a good patient?
I do what is healthy and makes sense. I avoid taking suggested medications unless they are absolutely necessary, always pushing back, asking questions, and resisting the current mandate to over-medicate. I also, despite seeing my physician on a regular basis, stretch the time between visits as much as possible and avoid going to specialists at all costs.
I see it all as a money-making scheme for the clinic I go to, but it may have more to do with the fact that I am simply ‘doctored-out’ at this point in my life. So I pick and choose my battles. I realize that my future health is in my hands and dependent upon the choices I make. That’s why I exercise, eat well, don’t drink to excess, and avoid unhealthy situations (now).
My current focus is reducing my exposure to anxiety. I’ve come to see it as a real negative influence in my life. Typically, in the past, I would put myself in situations that produce a great deal of anxiety or surround myself with people who operate with a great deal of anxiety – and, I have found, my body cannot handle it.
I get horrible stomach pains, body pains, and headaches. My heart pounds and I find myself on the edge of rage fueled by fear in situations where anxiety is allowed to grow unheeded.
Oddly enough, this is a rather recent focus. Looking back, I have come to see it as the leading protagonist in many a melt-down situation.
Passive aggressive people tend to create the most anxiety in me. I expect people to state their needs and expectations clearly.
I don’t think that is too much to expect.
Have you been to a plastic surgeon?
No. And I never will.
We all see the horror that results from plastic surgery – it’s like wrong sounding Muppets.
I don’t see the point of it.
Recently, the boyfriend and I were watching the BBC series ‘Jam and Jerusalem’.
Well, it seems that television series over there are not produced like series over here, in that, they will take off a year or two between seasons.
I was in love with this series at the end of season two. One of the things I loved about it was how the BBC is not afraid to feature older actresses in major roles that feel natural and have little to do with age – as in, they do not struggle to defy it or are punished for it, but live full lives.
However, a few years had gone by before they filmed season three of ‘Jam and Jerusalem’ and the lead, a sixty year old actress, had some cheek and chin implants put in during the break. It was off-putting and I spent most of the series trying to get used to this odd looking person taking over one of my favorite characters.
It just seemed so unnecessary.
If money weren't an issue, what work would you have done?
Why invite pain? Why invite horror? Why walk around looking like a corpse?
Aging naturally and healthily is a gift, a blessing, and a wonderful challenge. I embrace it. Yes, I hate the crow’s feet and deep lines on my forehead and around my mouth, but, in the end, they are mine – I earned them. Those of you who are convinced that you are only valued for your physical youth and beauty are sorely out of touch with reality. Substance matters. The rest is window dressing.
And having plastic surgery does not make you look younger – it makes you look like you’ve had plastic surgery.
How do you feel about going to the dentist?
It’s a pain in the ass.
But I get gas, even to have my teeth cleaned, so it’s cool. Once comfortably under the influence they can root around in my mouth all they like.
Sometimes, though, I think they are trying to kill me with that damn gas. I keep telling them to go light. The hygienists listen, but I have a dental assistant who maxes out that gas every time, to the point where I once literally convulsed in the chair.
I have no problem bravely moving toward that bright light, but I’d really rather not die in a damn dentist chair, thank you very much.
Do you ever play Doctor now?
I might make a joke about it, as in, ‘cough, cough’, but other than that, such role play holds no pleasure for me.
I see pictures on-line from porn related to physical exams and such and it does nothing for me. I’ve also read a number of Craigslist ads seeking ‘patients’ for that type of role play, but never felt compelled to explore it.
Eh, to each their own.