Pop, Pop

I’ve been using poppers on and off during sex for the past six years. More on than off.

I like them when I bottom or suck cock. They help me relax my hole and throat. I think that is the main reason anyone uses them. I have seen depictions in movies and heard real life stories from individuals where they were snorted on the dance floor, but my club days are pretty much behind me, and the idea of doing so would never hold any appeal to me.

So I don’t do them at any other time. I only use them for sex.

I have made huge mistakes with them.

• They have spilled on the floor (ruining the floor - once).
• I have used too much and ended up being a really bad sex partner.
• They have splashed up my nose on occasion.
• And resulted in the occasional headache/hangover.
• And, let's face it, these can't be healthy.
  

Recently I had a hemoglobin test that came back high enough to raise concern. Hemoglobin can be affected in this way when one is exposed to toxins, which I am sure is what poppers is to be considered. It was a first, but gave me pause.

Recently I have been using a brand called ‘Real Poppers’. It has a bunch of writing in German on its silver foil label. It bears no logo or any information regarding what is in it. It is a far different type of inhalant than the poppers I have become used to. I normally buy brands such as ‘Jungle Juice’, ‘ManScent’, or ‘Rush’. I like those just fine, but I was intrigued by the whole concept of ‘Real Poppers’. I know that at one point poppers were made with amyl nitrate, which has since been deemed restricted use (prescription only) and they are now made using cyclohexyl nitrite, which is not part of the same class of nitrates as amyl. I’m not sure this bottle of ‘Real Poppers’ is the amyl nitrate of old, but it is definitely not the cyclohexyl nitrite I first was introduced to and am used to.

I’m thinking of throwing away the bottle of ‘Real Poppers’. I have had several sexual experiences using them. One was really quite amazing. The man I was with at the time, a great top with a huge dick, raved about them. Me? I’ve been less enthralled. Since that episode, I’ve come to dislike ‘Real Poppers’. They give me a hair-trigger and I come too soon. That wasn’t the case the time I had quite an amazing sexual episode using them (I remained rock hard and didn’t come until the top did), but it has been the norm since.

Actually, I think I should do away with them altogether. They are an expense and bother I could do without. I always fear being stopped by the cops in a park and having to explain why they are on my person (why else would they be on my person?).

I have gone through time periods when I have not used them. Usually this is a time period where sexual activity is not a quite constant thing (rare), or during a period when I have consciously chosen to not use them.

Are they a drug? And do I yearn for them because I really want sex, or do I want sex so that I can use them?

Chicken / Egg?

I was having sex and enjoying sex before I ever did poppers. I was a hard core top who on rare occasions bottomed. Now that scenario has reversed itself. I have become more of a bottom since I began using poppers. I also have become better at deep-throating and really taken to sucking cock since I began using poppers. Before poppers I was never that interested in sucking cock. I liked mine sucked (still do), but pre-poppers I always thought of sucking cock as something you did in order to get yours sucked (so little did I know).

If I stop using poppers, I don’t expect to become a hard core top again. I think that boat has sailed. But I do think letting go of ‘Real Poppers’ is probably a good idea. I don’t even know what’s in them? I could be snorting paint thinner. Kind of stupid now that I think about it.

But I do think I’ll go get a bottle of one of my regular brands.

I like the rush. I like the promise of release.

Hmmm… I really want sex.