Acquired Tastes, XIX: Outdoor Sex

Introduction:

With the season definitely coming to a close (although I hear there is a chance of an Indian Summer in a couple of weeks), I thought it would be a good time to visit this particular Acquired Taste.  This one is certainly not one for the meek, prudish, or skittish.  Nor is it for those who dread dirt, sand, leaves, and mosquito bites.  Sure, one can do it in an urban setting outdoors, like say in a dim alley, but that is a different vibe with different consequences. 

Outdoor sex has a lot in common with Camping, another topic I covered earlier in this series.  However, camping is quite deliberate – like going to a destination restaurant – it takes preparation and is of sole purpose.  Outdoor sex is a lot more accidental and haphazard.  Sure, you can arrange with someone to meet at a certain park, but the fact is, you won’t have the privacy afforded with a tent, so an element of exhibitionism comes into play.  With camping, you have the safety of the tent, and although others might surmise what you’re doing in there, what you’re doing in there is not illegal.  Outdoor sex most certainly is… illegal.  And I think that’s part of what makes it so much fun.

So, let’s cruise on over to the local park, go down by the river, find a choice spot in the busiest parking lot, take a walk in the woods, and examine the allure and the moth-to-flame dynamics of…

Outdoor Sex

Scope of Activity:

For the sake of this article, we will only concern ourselves with fucking and sucking outdoors.  Breeders do it as much, or more than gay men, but when busted, heteros rarely get their names posted in the papers.  Outdoor sex may, or may not involve nudism, though it definitely involves naturism – as I define it, which is the attachment of an erotic element to nature (the woods, the beach, etc.). 

The Official Line:

It’s illegal, thanks to people like Reverend Lovejoy’s wife who are constantly screaming, “Think of the children! Won’t somebody please think of the children!”  And, yes, it is very important when pursuing outdoor sex that one keep in mind ‘the children’.  You should definitely avoid areas near playgrounds or public pools, or anywhere children may gather.  It should be noted that in many states, if caught, one must register as a sex offender – which is nonsense, but that threat keeps those faint of heart from pursuing this, which curtails traffic, and which in turn helps to cut down the number of times per year the local vice squad is forced to run through the bushes looking for offenders. 

From Wikipedia:

“Public sex refers to sexual acts that take place in public or semi-public places, and does not necessarily imply that the sexual activity takes place outdoors. Public places where sex acts can be performed include a car (commonly called parking), on a beach, in the woods, as well as in a theatre, bus, or street, besides other places. Other known places where public sex has taken place include a toilet, cubicle or a cemetery. Public sex can also refer to sexual activity which takes place in a private place but can be viewed in a public place. Such private places can include the back yard or even the bedroom with the curtains open.

Social views related to public sex and sexuality vary greatly between different cultures and different times. There are many and varied laws which apply to sex in public, which use a variety of terms such as indecent exposure, public lewdness, gross indecency beside others. In some jurisdictions an offense is committed only if the participants are seen by others.”

As mentioned, this post will deal only with outdoor sex that takes place in the woods, prairies, beaches and the like, and include an element of naturism.

Naturism or nudism is a cultural and political movement practicing, advocating and defending social nudity in private and in public. It may also refer to a lifestyle based on personal, family and/or social nudism.

Several other terms ("social nudity", "public nudity", "skinny dipping", "sunning", and, recently, "clothes-free") have been proposed as alternative terms for naturism, but none has found the same widespread public acceptance as the older terms "naturism" and (in much of the United States) "nudism".

Naturism can contain aspects of eroticism for some people, although many modern naturists and naturist organizations argue it need not. The lay public and the media often oversimplify this relationship.

Note: Farms can also be a wonderful opportunity for fun outdoors, too – and much safer, with less risk of discovery (provided you know the owner). 

My Experience:

There should be a book of rules. 

Unfortunately, there is not and one must learn how to navigate the treacherous waters of outdoor sex by feeling your way through it.  Fortunately, as you journey forth you will come in contact with other enthusiasts and they will most certainly offer insight and advice – that’s how I learned. 

Ideally, outdoor sex takes place in the summer and to a lesser extent in the spring and fall.  That said, I have had sex outdoors in the winter.  I love those days in winter when the skies are clear, the sun exceedingly bright, the snow pristine, and there is no wind; yes, the best days to ski are also the perfect days to get it on in the snow.  Winter excursions are fraught with issues, of course.  There’s the cold, for one thing, and snow melts, so being wet and cold?  Not very sex-friendly.   The nice thing about winter sex, rare though it is, is that you can usually get away with doing it right out in the open, without the sanctuary of trees because: 1/ it’s cold and less people are likely to be about and 2/ the cold generally encourages economy of movement and succinct sex. 

I remember two such occasions, when conditions were just right and winter sex was possible; both felt like drive-by shootings; so random, quick, and intense.  As is always the case with outdoor sex, the less clothing the better, this in winter certainly is a challenge. The one dude, a short, hairless, twink cutie whose skin was as pale as the snow, got around this by wearing only a one-piece snowmobile suit with a zipper down the front.  When he unzipped and let that puppy drop behind him, he was pretty much nude, which made raping his cute little butt all the easier.  I was wearing jeans without underwear and a zipper jacket minus shirt, so I, too had little to discard.  I remember the sun being as insanely intense as our coupling, with, once we got started, little regard of others discovering us.  It was like a scene out of one of those nature films where two animals come upon one another – it was swift, powerful, and slightly tinged with violence.  And then, just as quickly as it had begun, it ended and we walked our separate ways.  Barely a word had passed between us other than the usual demands for sexual compliance and submission. 

Sometimes I think that is the way all sex should be. 

However sweet that memory may be, my preference is for warmer days.  This summer I definitely took advantage of the wonderful weather.  Others may complain about those days when the humidity is unbearable and the sun intense, but I welcome them with open thighs.  A little sweat in the mix only adds to the allure of this rather animalistic practice; for there is something truly primal about being in nature, in the raw, fucking.  It takes us back to the days of the cavemen, but instead of bashing each other’s brains in, we’re fucking them out. 

I have my favorite haunts, and many of those exploits make up the bulk of my posts on this blog.  I never share the exact locations, for the most obvious of reasons.  The internet, which certainly did a lot to help connect people who were interested in pursuing sex outdoors with strangers by providing locations to do the dirty deed, also did a lot of harm.  Law enforcement got wind of the likes of Squirt, Cruising Gays, and even Yelp!, bringing a quick end to a lot of the tea room scene and many an outdoor cruising area.  However, gays getting it on in the great outdoors is really more of a nuisance crime, and it would reason that it’s rather low on the priority list of crimes against society (not that there aren’t certain vice cops in Minneapolis who make it their mission in life to ruin such fun).  So it pays to be careful out there.  Always be aware of your surroundings, stay as far away from playgrounds as possible, avoid family gathering places, stay on your toes, etc.  I would also caution you about pursuing sex in areas you know little about, such as, when travelling.  Knowing your territory well and being aware of whatever the local attitude is regarding outdoor sex can save you considerable time, embarrassment, and a trip back to headquarters with the local po-po. 

I pretty much surrendered the prairie, one of my usual haunts, this year.  The vibe was not right from the beginning of the season and attendance had dropped (according to those who still frequented the place) to an all-time low.  And that’s exactly the results the good people at The Parks and Wrecks Department had hoped for.  Pity.  In days of yore, that place, on a sunny weekend afternoon, was one giant orgy.  But trust me, no matter the current state or level of supposed enforcement/surveillance in any established cruising area, with perseverance, patience and a bit of luck and ingenuity, people will be and are still having sex in the great outdoors.

This summer my mode of operendi became sunning on a blanket wearing a cute little jock from Pistol Pete’s line of sexy wear.  Flipping over and getting on all fours at just the right moment pretty much guaranteed that I got me the action I was seeking.  That’s where the exhibitionistic part of all this comes into play.  In order to attract the kind of attention you want, you need to put the message out there by advertising your desires discreetly.  It’s a fine line to walk, for sure, but when it pays off, you get exactly what you came for.

Newbies always ask, but how do you know if someone is interested?  Well, you develop a kind of radar about it, I call it my ‘spidey’ senses.  When subtle, it’s in a look, a glance, a posture, or a gesture.  And when it’s not it’s a dick waving at you from behind a tree.  The newbies also always ask, how can you tell if it’s a cop?  Well, one rule is, never touch your groin area or expose yourself until they do.  Cops will rub their crotches; however they will not haul their willy out for viewing.  That said, if that’s the method you and everybody else chooses to employ, then nobody will ever take their dicks out and, hence, nobody will be getting off.  So here is another rule of thumb I use… if it seems too good to be true, then it could be a cop! But hey, these are tips for cruising, and probably best left for a different entry (pun unintended).

But before moving on, I would like to offer you one more word of caution… don’t be like the foolish man who recently bound himself spread eagle and blindfolded along a river trail.  He was hoping to be found by some adventurous soul who would humiliate and torture him in delicious and salacious ways.  Instead, he was discovered by the DNR who were canoeing about looking for people fishing without a license.  The story got picked up by the local television news shows and the dude’s mug shot got plastered everywhere.  I, of course, recognized him as this odd creeper who spent a lot of time in the cab of his truck watching porn on his laptop in the parking lot of one of my favorite hangs.  On occasion, he would leave me notes on my car instructing me to come down to the river’s edge and find him tied up.  Eh.  Not for me.  He was kind of gross.  And he couldn’t get it up (chain smoker).  A female friend of mine, who knew I was something of a park cruiser, alerted me to the story.  I was not surprised, but definitely chastened (There, for the grace, go I).  Poor guy.  All that drama for nothing.  That kind of brazen display rarely gets you the kind of attention you seek. So keep it subtle and under the radar kids.

My favorite fuck this summer was definitely my cute black dude with the Eurasian eyes.  We fucked four times and each one was a little more out there, a little longer, a little more daring.  He’s cute as hell and cocky.  From his very first approach I was sold.  He had his finger on my button within moments of ‘hello’.  We were careful when in the view of others, but that didn’t stop me from mounting his dick or finger right out in the open, there on my sunning blanket.  Not that we wanted anyone to see.  He was so cute; I really did want to keep him all to myself.  Other cruisers would tell me he was fucking about with anything that moved, and that put me off him for about a month, but his pull was too great.  I couldn’t resist him. 

It was in his kiss.  And in the care he took when fucking me.  Sure, we were outdoors, but that is never a reason to go all roadrunner on my ass.  I loved his dick.  It had the sweetest curve, a great width, and perfect length (8”).  He was young, but really smart about the world.  Where others tend to be a tiny bit anxious when having sex outdoors, he simply took everything in stride.  We talked.  AND THAT is a true rarity in outdoor sex scenarios. But from the word go, I never felt there was a topic off limits or things that should remain unsaid.  I spoke my mind and he listened.  He shared his plans and dreams.  It was sort of a great summer romance – you know, except for that part where he was fucking around with anything that moved.  Still… he was sexy and he belonged to the whole summer, not just me.  

The sex was great.  We must have fucked in every position possible.  I never felt more flexible, more confident (in my body), and, at the same time, more vulnerable. But that’s a great way to feel.  Exhilarating, actually.  I haven’t seen him in over a month and I worry that something bad happened, and that is the reason he’s not hanging around the park anymore.  I hope that’s not the case.

I miss him. 

Anonymity certainly plays a part in the thrill of outdoor sex.  I’ve fooled around with so many dudes outside that their faces actually seem to be, for the most part, one big blur (although there were certainly a number of very memorable appendages).   I’ve stopped trying to remember people’s names – when names are shared.  I never get them right.  The anonymity, urgency with which the deed is often done, and lack of conversation does not make for a situation conducive to discussions re: safe sex.  Therefore, be safe, not sorry.  Condoms not only help prevent you from bringing something unwanted home with you, but they also make for easy clean up.  Trust me, shit on your dick is one thing in the privacy of your home or their home… but it is an entirely different type of headache (and a likely one, if not using condoms, given the spur-of-the-moment nature of outdoor sex) and a total hassle when fucking in the splendor of Mother Nature.  Have you ever tried to wipe shit off your dick with a leaf?  If yes, then you know what I’m talking about.  Don’t want to contemplate having to put a shit covered dick back in your pants?  Then use a condom!  Of course, handy, pocket-sized wet wipes are always an option – but, if you choose that option, hey… do us all a favor and follow camper’s rule number one – whatever you bring into the forest, leaves with you.  Don’t litter.  It’s gross, draws unwanted attention to an area, and is morally wrong. 

Oh, and another bit of advice – if the bugs are bad and it bugs you to get bit?  Stay home.  Seriously, getting down and dirty with a dude covered in bug spray is gawd awful.  You get that stuff in your mouth and trust me, the last thing you are going to want to do is fuck like bunnies.  So, lay off the OFF if you want to get off. Got it?

When I first started blogging, I posted a piece about my travelling sex kit.  Check the archives.  It may need to be updated, but there are a lot of great suggestions of things to have on hand when pursuing sex in the great outdoors, so I encourage you to read it. 

Finally, and not to get go all new age on you, but there is something about sex in nature that speaks to my very soul.  It goes beyond the excitement of gay porn being acted out in real life.  It goes beyond the mere thrill of anonymous sex or the possibility of discovery.  It is even mightier than the orgasm itself.  Yes, it does have something to do with that primal part of me, but also, there is a spiritual part to it.  The sun, the shadows, the smell of the earth, the bountiful textures and sights… it fills me with a kind of love that flourishes no matter (and sometimes in spite of) the person I’m with.

It is my life’s romance. 

My Conclusion:

Communing with nature is a marvelous thing.  Thank the heavens for the beauty that is this nation’s parks system.  It has provided me with untold hours of fun, and yes, on occasion, frustration (which is sort of part of the fun).  Sure, the way is fraught with risk, but then sex – if really delved into - is not for the faint of heart, and nowhere is that truer than when it comes to sex outdoors. 

I have experienced great joy on rocks and logs, amidst trees and tall grass, on sand, in surf, and with celestial views.  I’ve been really fortunate, in so many ways.  For example, I have never been arrested for having sex outdoors.  And I hope it stays that way; for I would hate to be banished from a park for life, just as I would hate to miss out on a summer in fun. 

I’ve touched on a few of the most glaring issues facing those brave enough to dip their toes in these perilous waters.  And, again, I caution you: this activity is not for the skittish – for if fear of being discovered is foremost in your mind, you will not enjoy the experience.  For those foolhardy enough to give it a try, I hope you discover the kind of spiritual excitement that I have found. 

I believe outdoor sex is more than just a cheap thrill.  It can be a means of spiritual fulfillment.

Okay, kids… time to hit the trails.