The Kinky Report: March 16, 2012 - March 15, 2013

Introduction

On March 16, 2009, I began keeping a diary of sorts in order to capture information regarding my sexual exploits.  I published the statistics I was able to glean from that recorded data in March of 2010, March of 2011, and March of 2012. 

The following is a list of statistics from this year’s (3/16/12 – 3/15/13) data.  The diary is fairly accurate as I did a good job of consistently recording my exploits.  I believe I managed to record every sexual encounter I had during this time period. 

It should be noted that this was the third year a ‘bath house’ was open in Minneapolis.  I put that in quotes because it really isn’t an official business; rather it’s something of a best kept secret/underground sensation.  I’ve visited seven times during its first year of operation, compared to six times during its second year.  This year, I visited three times, during which I engaged in some form of sexual play 36 times – which accounts for 17% of my total sexual encounters during this time period.  The most sex I had during this time period also occurred at the bath house (17). 

I’m thinking it might be important to compare this year’s stats to last year’s, so the data will be presented in the following format: This Year’s Stat / Last Year’s Stat / Second Year’s Stat / First Year’s Stat

Stats

Closed for Business: 0 / 17/ 34 / 40

Stood Up: 7 / 7/ 15 / 8

No, Didn’t Find Anything or Not in the Mood: 248 (68% of Year) / 213 (58% of Year) 195 (53% of Year / 205 (56% of Year)

Number of Days I Did Look and Found: 117 (1.8 men per day, 32% of Year), 152 (2.4 men per day, 42% of Year) / 170 (2.3 Men per Day, 47% of Year) / 160 (1.7 Men per Day, 44% of Year)

Total Number of Times I Participated in Sexual Activity: 215 / 368 / 388 / 267 (42% decrease from previous year!)  

Activity

No Cum: Number of Times Guys Failed or Chose Not to Cum: 69 / 157 / 99/ 38 (56% decrease)

Barebacking 88 (41% of all sexual encounters)

Flip Flop: 1 / 7 / 4 / 6 (86% decrease)

Me Top: 4 / 17 / 12 / 16 (76% decrease)

Oral on Me: 57 / 81 / 76 / 18 (30% decrease)

Oral:  96 / 187 / 181 / 148 (49% decrease)

Anal: 6 / 29 / 25 / 4 (79% decrease)

Oral and Anal: 92 / 113 / 137 / 92 (19% decrease)

Kiss: 84 / 99 / 125 / 65 (15% decrease)

Rim (me or them): 33 / 34 / 56 / 26 (3% decrease)

J/O: 25 / 37 / 46 / 19 (32% decrease)

Menage a trios: 6/ 23 / 28 /12 (74% decrease)

Group Activity: 3 / 8 / 15 / 5 (63 % decrease)

Blindfolded: 6 / 10 / 33 / 35 (40% decrease)

Location

Total Outdoors: 89 (41% of all sexual activity for year) / 170 (46% of all sexual activity for year) / 162 (42% of all sexual activity for year) / 160 (60% of all sexual activity for year) (48% decrease)

Bog/Wirth: 9 / 13 /27 / 50 (31% decrease)

Prairie: 20 / 35 / 81 / 74 (43% decrease)

St Paul: 0 / 0 / 0 / 3 (remained the same as the previous year)

East River Road: 59 / 115 / 54 / 33 (47% decrease)

Car: 14 / 34 / 29 / 14 (At the listed parks) (59% decrease)

Total Indoors: 126 (59% of all sexual activity for the year) / 198 (54% of all sexual activity for the year) / 226 (58% of all sexual activity for the year) / 107 (40% of all sexual activity for the year) (12% decrease)

Rehab House: 3 / 4 /48 / 33 (25% decrease)

My Place: 4 / 8 / 13 / 11 (50% decrease)

Their Place: 45 / 40 / 54 / 47 (13% increase)

Hotel: 4 / 3 / 14 / 4 (33% decrease)

Public (Garage, Restroom, Sauna, Gym, or Their Office, Bath House): 62 / 130 / 77 / 12 (52% decrease)

Garage: 9 / 15 / 20 (40% decrease)

The Experience

Exceptional: 32 (15% of experiences) / 46 (13% of experiences) / 46 (12% of experiences) /28 (10.5% of experiences)

Good: 62 (29% of experiences) / 104 (28% of experiences) / 99 (26% of experiences) / 74 (27.5% of experiences)

Average: 97 (45% of experiences) / 165 (45% of experiences) / 182 (47% of experiences) / 108 (40.5% of experiences)

Bad: 22 (11% of experiences) / 51 (14% of experiences) / 61 (16% of experiences) / 57 (21% of experiences)

Repeat: 82 (38% of experiences) / 133 (36% of experiences) / 115 (30% of experiences) / 122 (46% of experiences)

Race

White: 172 (80%) / 314 (85%) / 335 (86%) / 225 (84%)

Black: 22 (10%) / 15 (4%) / 18 (5%) / 20 (7.5%)

Asian: 7 (3%) / 17 (5%) / 5 (1%) / 2 (1%)

East Indian: 1 (.5%) / 2 (1%) / 6 (2%) / 6 (2%)

Hispanic: 13 (6%) / 18 (5%) / 24 (6%) / 14 (5%)

Size

Over 8: 30 (9 of which were over 9”) (14%), 58 (15 of which were over 9”) (16%) / 62 (16%) / 54 (20%)

7 to 8: 73 (34%) / 136 (37%) / 114 (29%) / 99 (37%)

Under 7: 82 (7-6) and 29 (52%) (< 6) / 122 (7-6) and 49 (< 6) (46%) / 144 (7 to 6) and 68 (< 6) (55%) / 114 (43%)

Age

20’s: 27 (13%) / 30 (8%) / 53 (14%) / 35 (13%)

30’s: 33(15%) / 75 (20%) / 98 (25%) / 74 (28%)

40’s: 69 (32%) / 141 (38%) / 167 (43%) / 102 (38%)

50’s: 76 (35%) / 103 (28%) / 60 (15%) / 53 (20%)

60’s: 10 (5%) / 14 (4%) / 10 (3%) / 3 (1%)

Physical Condition

Excellent Shape: 62 (29%) / 65 (18%) / 80 (21%) / N/A

Good Shape: 71 (33%) / 151 (41%) / 148 (38%) / 89 (33%) – (Means: This year 228 were in Good or Excellent Shape, which accounts for 59% of all experiences)

Okay Shape: 65 (30%) / 114 (31%) / 123 (32%) / 124 (46%)

Bad Shape: 17 (8%) / 33 (9%) / 37 (9%) / 54 (20%)

Long Time: 36 (17%) / (over an hour): 32 / 29 / N/A

Handsome: 60 (28%) / 78 (21%) / 98 (25%) / 64 (24%)

Bald: 32 (15%) 35 (10%) / 41 (11%) / 42 (16%)

Definition of Terms

Closed for Business: 0

I put off a bunch of medical stuff this year.  I’m not sure why.  It has something to do with the inconvenience and the planning necessary.  I also simply didn’t want to do all the things my doctor wanted me to do.  I’ve grown wary of medications and procedures. 

Stood Up: 7

These are occasions when I had plans with an individual and that individual failed to show.  This would not necessarily sour my mood and curtail activities for that day, but typically, it did.  I have less patience for people who behave this way. 

No, Didn’t Find Anything or Not in the Mood:  248

Data failed to distinguish between these two reasons for lack of sexual activity.

Flip Flop: 1

Describes occasions when an individual would perform anal sex as a top with me in the role of bottom and then I would perform anal sex as a top with them in the role of bottom.

Me Top: 4

Times I served as the only top during the encounter, describing occasions when I would perform anal sex as a top with them in the role of bottom.

Oral on Me: 57

Occasions when I received oral sex from another – this may, or may not have been done in conjunction with other types of sexual activity.

Oral: 96

Occasions when the only activity engaged in, other than kissing, fondling or frottage, was me performing oral sex on an individual

Anal: 6

Occasions when the only activity engaged in was me being topped by (receiving anal sex or bottoming) an individual (no kissing, fondling or frottage).

Oral and Anal: 92

Occasions when I performed oral sex on and individual and received anal sex from the same individual.

Kiss: 84

Occasions when kissing was involved.

Rim (me or them): 33

Occasions when rimming was involved and I performed it on them and/or they performed it on me.

J/O: 25

Occasions when masturbation (mutual or solo) – this may, or may not have been done in conjunction with other types of sexual activity.

Menage a trios: 6

Occasions when two individuals and myself participated in sexual activities with one another at the same time.

Group Activity: 3

Occasions when 3 or more individuals and myself participated in sexual activities with one another at the same time. Least number present (includes self) to qualify as Group Activity: 4. 

Blindfolded: 6

Occasions when I wore a blindfold during sexual activity.  Typical scenario featured me wearing blindfold before other(s) arrived, until other(s) departed.

Total Outdoors: 89

Number of sexual encounters that took place outside, typically in wooded areas

Bog/Wirth: 9, Prairie: 20, St Paul: 0, East River Road: 59

Parks/Wooded Areas where sexual activity took place

Car: 14 (At the listed parks)

This number in included in the number of total outdoor sexual encounters and is accounted for as they related to the park/wooded area where initial contact and subsequent agreement to engage in sexual activity took place.

Total Indoors: 126

Number of sexual encounters that took place indoors (Private House or Public Building)

Rehab House: 3

Occasions when an individual(s) would come to a house I was rehabbing for the purposes of sexual activity

Hotel: 4

Scenario where I traveled to their (out of town visitor) hotel room, here in the Twin Cities

Public (Garage, Restroom, Sauna, Gym, or Their Office): 71 (15 of which were in a garage)

Occasions when sex took place in a non-traditional location other than outdoors

The Experience (Exceptional: 32, Good: 62, Average: 97, Bad: 22)

These ratings are defined by my personal likes and dislikes as relating to sexual activity and/or the physical attributes or behavior of the individual(s) involved.  Ratings are of a purely subjective nature.

Repeat: 82

Occasions when I engaged in sexual activity with a given individual on more than one occasion. It includes individuals with whom I engaged in sexual activity with prior to the beginning of the defined year, but had occasion to have engage in sexual activity during the defined year. 

Size (Over 8: 30, 7 to 8: 73, 7-6: 82, Under 6: 29)

As it relates to the length of an individuals fully erect penis in units of inches. Measurements based on personal visual determination or claims of individual as stated in emails and then verified via personal visual determination. (Note: First year there was not a category labeled “Under 6”, First and Second years there was not a category labeled “Over 9”.)

Age (20’s:  27, 30’s: 33, 40’s:  69, 50’s:  76, 60’s: 10)

In terms of years, based on personal visual determination or claims of individual as stated in emails or during conversation and then verified via personal visual determination.

Physical Condition:

As it relates to an individual’s body in terms of muscle tone, percentage of body fat and a visual determination of physical health.  Determination subjective in nature. (Note: The first year there was not a category labeled “Excellent”.)

Excellent Shape: 62

Individual displayed one or more of the following attributes: Very Muscular Physique, Washboard Abs.  A build that could be described as Extremely Athletic or Very Muscular.

Good Shape: 71

Individual displayed one or more of the following attributes: Muscular Physique, Toned Physique, Low % of Body Fat, Flat Abdomen.  A Build that could be described as: Muscular, Toned, Trim, Worked-Out, Somewhat Worked-Out, Buff, Swimmers, Thin, Wiry, Athletic, Jock, Slim, Twink

Okay Shape: 65

Individual displayed one or more of the following attributes: A Somewhat Muscular Physique, A Somewhat Toned Physique, Average to Somewhat More Than Average % of Body Fat, A Slightly Protruding Belly (Hard). A Build that could be described as: Beefy, Bear, Average,

Bad Shape: 17

Individual displayed one or more of the following attributes: A Lack of Muscular Tone, More Than Average to Excessive % of Body Fat, A Distended Belly (Soft). A Build that could be described as: Flabby, Large, Big, Fat, Obese, Soft, Unkempt

Long Time: 36

Sexual encounters that lasted over an hour in length

Handsome: 60

As it relates to the construction and contours of an individuals face, determination subjective in nature.

Bald: 32

Includes individuals with shaved, closely buzzed or naturally bald heads. Does not include individuals who are balding or have an “eagles nest” hair style. 

Observations / Conclusions

I had 153 less sexual experiences this year than the year previous, resulting in a 42% drop in activity. 

I’m very proud of that.  It means I have a handle on my sexual compulsivity.  And if you think the numbers are low this year, wait until you see next year’s.  Why?  Because it was only near the end of summer 2012 that I started getting choosy.  That’s right, I’ve developed standards. 

Another contributing factor in this decrease?  I have grown weary of all the prep involved.  It seems, as I age, I am having to do more and more maintenance work.  It’s not just the douching.  It’s the shaving and trimming and oiling.  Frequently?  I find myself weighing whether all that effort is going to be worth whatever trick I am considering getting it on with.  And this is not just on the weekdays – but prime weekend fuck time, when the most dudes are on-line looking for a little something something.  Many a Friday night during the winter months I find myself in the chatrooms, striking up conversations, but with no intention of hooking up.  I don’t lead people on, I tell them right up front that I am not really looking.  Still they ask.

And they do ask.

In the past week (and these stats go towards next year’s report), I got hit on an average of three times a day, thanks to Grindr and Scruff, along with my new stable of regulars, but I only played with one dude, one time.

Bottom line: 248 days this year I simply was not in the mood – that’s 68% of the year.  Wow.

Okay, maybe that has to do with getting older, but I don’t think so.  I think it has to do with being more likely to let the boys pass on by.  At the end of the summer I found myself sitting on my blanket a lot more, less likely to go running after possible tricks. I was even turning down sure things.  I just don’t feel the need to prove that part of myself anymore.  Which is why I say, if you think my numbers are slipping this year, wait until you get a load of next year’s. 

That said, if you look at the physical condition of my tricks, the quality, percentage-wise, is on the rise.  Another indication that I’m getting picky.

Other than that, I didn’t see any significant change percentage-wise.  Totals are on the decrease, but percentage per total remains pretty consistent.  What can I say, I like what I like

Oh, the number of big dicks (over 8) fell.  That’s because I wrote off two of my regulars this year – both nine inchers.  Blocked them on all the sites we share and stopped taking their texts or calls.  I didn’t like the way they treated me.  Sometimes, I would be waiting outside of their place, in my car, waiting for them to get back to me.  I was where they told me to be.  They would just choose to stand me up or play some dick ass mind game.  Well, fuck them.  There are more big dicked dudes out there.

I was surprised to see that I only visited the bathhouse three times during this period.  I certainly intended on going more, but it has to do with that Friday night, sit-on-my-ass, tired from the week, thing.  Yes, I could take a nap and go later, but I don’t.  It’s a fun scene, but not something I feel compelled to experience on a weekly or even monthly basis. 

So, maybe you find these numbers still rather on the high end.  I get that.  I am a very sexual person, and have spent the past four years exploring a lot of stuff (still crossing stuff of my sexual bucket list).  But there is a definite trend here, and I suspect next year, my numbers will look almost normal for a sexually adventurous, technically savvy dude like myself. 

Three years ago?  My focus was on sex.  Today?  Not so much.  I have other irons in the fire, and lots of responsibilities.  So, maybe for the first time in my life I realize, it’s not all about me.  Which, for a narcissist like myself, is a huge change.

That said, I seem happier, less manic, more content. And, I suspect, I will grow only more so in the coming year.

Of course, summer is coming.  Less clothing, more sunning, more time outdoors….

…hey, I didn’t say I was gonna become a nun.