Acquired Tastes, XXXIII: Truckers

Introduction:

Off-hand, I can’t think of another job where the primary workplace can also serve as a conduit for hot hook-ups.   I mean, sure, people can have sex at their place of work within reason, but this particular profession brings with it a brand of unique devotees who hunger to climb into the back of a big rig at the local rest stop or trucker’s haven and get it on with the hunky driver.  There’s always something a little lurid and alluring about anonymous encounters, but with this particular scenario you get to experience in a bit of a gay male holy grail – sex in the back of a big rig with a long haul trucker .  

Sure, the reality rarely matches the fantasy.  That long haul trucker is rarely the testosterone-driven, man of steel we hope; typically it comes with a few days’ worth of unwashed scruff, a fair share of wrinkles, and a beer belly, but the romantic/erotic notion frequently outweighs and helps cast the crushing mediocrity that is reality in a much better light. 

So, let’s put that micro-bus in behind that suicide jockey, keep the bugs off our glass and the bears off our asses, climb on up into that big rig and take a looksee at the enduring appeal of

Truckers

Scope of Activity:

For the sake of this post, we will concentrate on the allure truckers and their mythology hold for gay men.

The Official Line:

From Wikipedia

A truck driver (commonly referred to as a trucker or driver in the United States and Canada; a truckie in Australia and New Zealand; a lorry driver or driver in Ireland, the United Kingdom, India and Pakistan), is a person who earns a living as the driver of a truck, usually a semi-truck, box truck, or dump truck.

Truck drivers provide an essential service to industrialized societies by transporting finished goods and raw materials over land, typically to and from manufacturing plants, retail and distribution centers. Truck drivers are also responsible for inspecting their vehicles for mechanical items or issues relating to safe operation. Others, such as driver/sales workers, are also responsible for sales and customer service.

Psychological Aspects:

There is a mythology attached to truckers.  They are a thing of legend, viewed in the same tradition as the American cowboy.  Lone drivers on the open road… untold vistas…masters of their own destinies - call it a romantic, modern adaptation or transference of sorts, swapping out that horse and the wild west for an eighteen wheeler and an endless trail of tar and cement. 

Truckers hold a special place in the hearts of Middle America.  And gay men. 

Blame it on Joe Gage.  His iconic film, Joe Gage’s ‘Kansas City Trucking Co.’ (1976) captures pretty much everything a lust-filled gay man wishes were true about truckers and their lifestyle.

Kansas City Trucking Co. is a 1976 American gay pornographic film directed by Tim Kincaid, better known as Joe Gage, starring Richard Locke, Steve Boyd and Jack Wrangler.  It is the first in what has come to be known as Gage's ‘Working Man Trilogy’, continuing with 1978's El Paso Wrecking Corp. and concluding with 1979's L.A. Tool & Die.  This film is, watersports scene included or not (not on the DVD), blue collar sexy at its most raw and basic. 

Part of the appeal of truckers has to do with that rig.  Is this merely an instance where the man becomes indelibly linked in the minds of the observer to his machine?  Is that the type of transference we are talking about here?   Big and powerful – they rule the road. The men that drive them don’t even need to load and unload what they haul.  They just have to command the power and magnitude of an eighteen-wheeler.  Sitting up high in that cab, looking down on all the regular commuters, all that metal and power at their fingertips – a pretty lofty place, wouldn’t you agree?

The trucker also represents the intersection of two very heady gay male aphrodisiacs: the blue collar man and the redneck.  For some gay men, these are an unattainable, but highly sought after prize, a sexual holy grail, if you will.  Show me a Mack Truck with a Rebel flag sticker and I can pretty much create my own dirty movie right in the privacy of my own head.  Of course, our romantic notions almost always pale in the light of reality (most blue collar rednecks do not tolerate any of ‘that gay crap’), but what is sexual fantasy if not an unrealistic notion of possible pleasure?

Precautions, Misconceptions, Fallacies, and Encouraged Practices

Truckers do not drink a lot, or take a lot of drugs

Truckers are not bad drivers

Truckers do not have loose morals

Truckers do not have bad hygiene

Most Truckers are upstanding citizens

Not all truckers are looking for a quick blow job at the local rest stop, and wishing it were so does not make it true

You should not approach a trucker at a local rest stop or truck stop and proposition him for sex, for the same reasons you do not walk into your local police station and start hitting on every hot cop you see

According to a really hot black trucker I talked with via Scruff and then text, most hook-ups between truckers and gay men now take place on the internet – with the trucker letting his potential sexual partner know where to meet him as he is on his way to his load out (pun intended).  That said, you may be wasting a lot of time sitting at that local rest stop in the hopes that you will catch a trucker’s eye.  You’ll have better luck using the internet on your phone.

Yes, really hot truckers exist, but they are few and far between.  And the ones that are hot and want to fuck you in the back of their big rig?  Even fewer and further.

Sitting at that local rest stop?  A good way to call attention to yourself and get noticed by the highway patrol or sheriff’s department.  At least that is my experience here in Minnesota.

Flashing a trucker?  I know there are dudes out there who get off on driving around naked, jerking off while getting the attention of that big rig in the lane next to them.  Dangerous?  You bet.  First off, there is the whole driving 60 miles an hour thing side-by-side with one of those eighteen wheelers.  Then there is the whole – but what if he’s a bible-thumping, gay-hating pimple of a man who likes to call the highway patrol and give them your license number?  Yep, I have seen the videos on Xtube, too.  But that doesn’t mean it’s a very smart thing to do. 

My Experience:

I’ve seen movies.  I’ve seen clips on Xtube.  I’ve heard stories.  And I had a long conversation with that hot black trucker who lives in Illinois.  I really should have pursued that more and kept his phone number in my system.  I mean, how many times am I likely to run across someone like that?

I have spent time at a local rest stop off 94 that used to be a hotbed for all sorts of man on man action.  But developers bought the land surrounding the rest stop, built apartments and people started complaining enough about all the naked gay men fucking in the woods that the state of Minnesota saw fit to actually fence off the entire woods.  They then spent a lot of money upgrading the restrooms in order to ensure that no sexual activity could possibly take place.  It was a very sad transition to witness.  And as usual, I arrived at the party just as it was ending. 

I have heard lots of stories, and did witness a few things, and experienced a few things there.  But it was short-lived.  I think that only helped fuel my desire to be invited up into one of those big rigs.  Highway patrol can’t say shit about what two men do in the privacy of one of those, as long as you are somewhat discreet.  However, hanging around that rest stop in the hopes of some trucker taking a shine to you?  Well, that can lead to all sorts of harassment. 

And then, think about it… put the shoe on the other foot.  I’m sure those truckers are sick of local horny gay men hitting on them all the time. So keep that in mind when trolling for truckers.

That said, my ultimate goal?  To get fucked in the back of a big rig owned by one of those truckers hauling for Wal-Mart.  That would be a sort of ‘fuck you’ to those creepy, greedy Walton’s with their screwed up priorities and supposed morals. 

Well, a man can dream.

And watch his VHS copy of Kansas City Trucking Co. – over and over and over again…

Use the comments section to share your trucker related sexual experiences.  I would love to hear about them (more masturbatory fuel). Giggity!

My Conclusion:

Is it just me?  I don’t think so.

The American trucker holds a special place in the hearts and minds of gay men.  It has to do with our romance with the open road and the power we bestow upon the men gutsy enough to drive those big rigs. 

I know there are gay websites/blogs devoted to this topic, and there are even some gay-dating sites for truckers – so get your Google on and find them.

That said, maybe some things are best left to fantasy.  That may be a case of sour grapes, on my part, but just a thought.

Well, that’s all I got, so, catch you at the flip-flop, that’s a big 10-4!

And now, the whole reason for this post… here… come… the pictures!  Enjoy!