TMI Questions: Does Size Matter?

What's in a number?  How is it relevant?  Is it simply a matter of comparison?  Why bother measuring?  

It's all a game of numbers.  

What do they mean?  To us?  To others?

What is the real measure of a man?

And... that's the thing about TMI Questions.  For me?  

They just raise more questions.

TMI QUESTIONS:

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

Link: http://tmiquestions.blogspot.com/  

TMI Questions: Does Size Matter?

How big is your TV screen?

44”

I finally broke down last year and bought a flat screen television.   Yes, just last year.  I saw nothing wrong with my big ass old CRT television.  But, I still have a tiny CRT in the kitchen, on top of my fridge and a giant old console unit in the basement.  I watch the 8” a lot more than the other two.  Mostly news, ‘Big Bang Theory’  and ‘Family Guy’ re-runs.  It’s a nice distraction while cooking or prepping the dogs’ food. 

I gave up cable this week.  It turns out there are all these alternative air channels, so in a way, it’s like I still have cable – if it were, say, 1968.  Most of these channels specialize in old movies or classic television programs.  It’s rather interesting.  Kind of a time warp.  And, of course, I still get the big networks, so I’m not missing anything. I plan on streaming Netflix as soon as a USB Wireless LAN Adapter arrives in the mail.  I will end up saving over $1,000 a year.

How big is your hard drive? Laptop or desktop?

Hard Drives: 8 MB

I store most of my stuff on memory sticks (I have a whole tiny bag of them I carry around at all times), so I am never in danger of needing more.  The sticks work great.  I have several that are nothing but pics from the net that I collect and file, saving them up for future blog posts.

Laptops: 12”, 14” and 14”

Three is a little excessive, but I like the convenience of always having one when I need it.  Also, if one goes down, I don’t need to stress too much about finding a solution to the problem (although, I must say, I get awful anxious whenever something tech-related goes awry – as in, illogically spastic and borderline hysterical).

How big is your home? Is it too big or too small?

A small, two-bedroom home built in 1952.  It still has its original blonde woodwork and blonde wooden windows.  It has a steel beam through the center in the basement.  And part of the basement has this funky old linoleum you find in old church basements.  I sort of adore it, though I consider other houses all the time.

Every time I rehab a house for the property company of which I am part owner, I fall in love with the house I’m working on and imagine moving in.  It will never happen, as my Mom and Dad are ensconced across the street (in one of my rehab projects) and it is simply too convenient a way to keep an eye on them. 

Nope, I’m stuck where I am until my Dad passes (Alzheimer’s), which we have been told should happen within the next year and a half.  Of course, he’s happy as a clam, playing with his toys and watching cartoons. My Mom is an excellent caretaker, so who knows?  He may be with us for much longer than expected.   

Oh, and the real reason I love my little, tiny house?  I’m fairly certain that when the zombies or Nazis come for me, I will be safe in my basement.  All the doors are solid oak. And that steel beam?  Good for when the meteors hit.

How big is your waistline? Is it too big or too small?

32” Perfect for me.  I think.  I guess it could be smaller, but I’m so tall.  Oh, and gravity.  Gravity is winning.

I have been a 32” for most of my life, save a couple of bad patches.

I had a 28” waist in the mid-eighties, due to a little eating disorder.  And then again, when everything went to hell in Cali in 1996.

I blossomed to a 34” waist during my years at Target Corp.  Too many fatty lunches.  I was going to the ‘Y’ every day at the time, but nothing seemed to offset all that restaurant and catered food.

How big are your pets?

Millie is 5 lbs. – She was seriously underweight when I got her.  How she managed to survive her first two and a half years, I will never know.  The people who owned her were monsters. Some people should never have children or dogs. Clueless?  Or intentionally cruel?  I don’t know.  I don’t really believe in heaven or hell, but if I did… those people have long-standing reservations in one of them.

Hercules is 20 lbs. – Everyone thinks Herc is fat.  But he is a big-bodied boy.  I was told he was a Chihuahua / Jack Russell mix, but I think they got it wrong.  He has the Chihuahua head (small), but his body and legs remind me of a Corgi.  So, imagine that combo, and you have a dog whose body is much too large for his head.  He looks like a little football player.  Hercules is a constant challenge (mentally delayed), but he is also a very good dog.

Atula is 24 lbs. – Atula was seriously overweight when I got him at age 14.  He had spent most of his life in his kennel (18-20 hours a day) and was not socialized properly.  He was not used to being petted or held and, still to this day, has no concept of play.  He seems to have three main activities – sleep, eat, poop. He screams for food constantly, so taking the weight off him (7.5 lbs. in the last five months) has been a challenge.  Initially, I didn’t think his weight was a problem, but then he got pneumonia and his esophagus began to collapse – and his weight became a major factor.  His legs are weak from being kenneled so much; so long walks (at his age) are out of the question.  Cutting back on his food intake was the only thing I could do.  He now runs around the backyard like a crazy man and seems much happier. 

This is my second round of three rescued dogs. And I think it may be my last.  I love them, but they are a lot of work and limit my travelling quite a bit.  Between my father, the dogs, and a friend of mine who is ailing, my abilities as a care-giver are stretched to the point where I am beginning to feel ineffective.

I am burning out and the occasional weekend away isn’t enough to replenish that energy and patience.  I look at where I am in my life arc and realize only too well that the number of years I have left to fully experience certain things is dwindling.  Maybe that’s a selfish of me, but I yearn for things I can’t accomplish with things as they are.

Still, my heart also goes out to those dogs no one cares enough about.  I could imagine myself in the future being exposed on the local news channel as an ancient old man who is hoarding too many dogs. But that could never happen.  If I didn’t feel I could properly care for an animal I would do the right thing (turn them over to a shelter or find them a good home) rather than see them suffer. 

My heart bleeds, but common sense rules my world.

How big is your car?

2005 Silver Saturn Ion, 4-Door.  I own it outright and I love it.  It is well maintained and looks pretty damn good.  Rust is the number one killer of car bodies her in Minnesota due to the salt used on the roads in winter.  Having a care with a plastic body? 

One less eye-sore on the road.

I am also not one of those people whose sense of self is tied up in the car they drive.  That’s crap.  You in that giant SUV or oversized pickup truck?  Yeah, I know what that’s really about, dude.  You aren’t fooling anybody. 

And flashy sports cars and the like? 

Eh. There are better ways to spend money.  People who do that are trying to impress, but the impression they make on me isn’t the one they intended.

How big are your biceps?

16”.  I have no idea if that is big or not.  Something tells me it is not.  I had a dude walk up to me at The Eagle one night and tell me that I have “nice arms, small, but nice”.  His were stupidly huge.  I would love to have stupidly huge arms, but… I don’t think my body type supports that. 

Also, anytime that I have gone gung-ho on my biceps, I have ended up with some form of tennis elbow that eventually becomes so painful that I have to stop working my arms.  So, everything in moderation. 

My biceps don’t have to be huge; they just have to be toned. Oh, and by the way – triceps are where you can really make a difference in your arms.  I have concentrated on those in the past five years, adding a lot of dimension and depth to the look of my arms. 

Eh, I still have skinny boy arms.  Probably always will. 

My arms only look good after immediately working out.  Why is that?

How big is your ego?

Hmmm.  So, I am going to say that it is humongous – hence this blog, etc. However, I suffer from low self-esteem, so it makes for this volatile, clashing sort of existence. 

How did this come about? 

Simple.  When I was young, I had some innate talents that were recognized by others and in order to ‘perform’ one has to have a big ego.  A self-inflated sense of one’s self, if you will as a means of coping.  However, I was also constantly told by my handlers that I was ‘too big for my britches’, needed to be careful not to get a ‘swelled head’, etc.  Therefore, I recognized early on that nobody liked people who thought too much of themselves. 

Then, on top of that, I got the message that I ‘ruin everything’, that ‘it’s all my fault’, and that ‘I can’t do anything right’.

Add into that the message that it was better to be dead than be gay. 

Well, that’s quite a potent mixture, huh.  Yeah, I’m still trying to sort it all out, though I think that is the closest I have come to articulating it.  There’s also something in there about being ‘a total piece of shit’, but I try not to look at that too closely.

Yes, people are horribly complex. 

I frequently find myself envious of those who survived childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood unscathed and unscarred.  And, yes, I know you’re out there.  To you, people like me seem rather a muddle – damaged, toxic creatures who occupy the darkest corners of the attics and basements of life.

Well, we manage. 

What’s the alternative?

Who's currently the biggest ass?

Oh, geeze.. The field is so crowded.

Ted Cruz

Michele Bachmann

Jan Brewer

The Koch Brothers

Dick Cheney

Karl Rove

Donald Trump and Ann Coulter – they are in a league of their own.  Hall of fame members for many years.

But the current king?

Kevin Trudeau: the king of hubris, arrogance, and greed.  What a colossal ass-wipe.  He will get what’s due him.

Who's currently the biggest loser?

All the politicians and all the media-based, social-politicians masquerading as news reporters or pundits.

Why?  Because they have all become comfortable with half-truths, white lies and telling outright lies.  Distorting the truth has become an art.  And they are all losers because they don’t have the balls to tell the truth or call other people on their lies. It would have done my heart good if during the recent presidential debates, had Obama turned to Romney and said, “You are such a liar. Why do you tell such big fat lies?” 

And, in a way, I am the biggest loser.  Because, while I decry the dishonesty of others, I remain something of a liar, myself.

Well, life is messy and is all about living with paradoxes.

How big is your bank account?

I don’t know.  Ask my accountant.

After the disaster of ’96, I stopped managing my own money.  If that makes me weak, so be it.  But I’d rather cop to a weakness, do something about it, and survive/thrive, then go down with the ship out of arrogance and some misguided need to be ‘in control’. 

People count on me.  Therefore, one’s life has to have a semblance of integrity, even if that means purchasing said integrity.

 

Bonus

How big is your sexual organ and is it big enough?

7.5” x 5.5”. 

I like it just fine. Others seem to like it, too. 

Do I wish it were bigger?  I would love to be 8” or 8.5”.  I don’t know why.  I just think that size is pretty.

But mine, as is, is adequate.  I used to love playing with it all the time.  Now?  I just yearn for the days of unwanted erections embarrassing the hell out of me, popping up when least expected or wanted.  I remember cursing my dick back when I was 14 and 15.  Eh.  Careful what you wish for, huh?

How do you like your partner to be sized?

At least 7”.  Prefer 8” – 8.5”  But I’m flexible.  Whores have to be.

Can it be too big/small?

Yes, it can be too small.  I know of a rather famous theatrical costume designer whose penis is so small, it may be a pimple. You got four inches?  Hey, I can work with that.  Less?  Ummm.  It gets creepy and feels like child abuse. 

Too big?  Well, no, no such thing.  Not really. 

Trust me, I’ll find something to do with it. 

Does size really matter?

I’m not going to be that person that says, ‘No, not at all.’.  Because that’s bullshit. Of course it matters.  I love a big dick.  I like looking at them, playing with them, sucking on them, and getting fucked by them.

And there are those that say – that’s only because you are such a big whore that you can’t feel anything but the huge ones.  But that’s bullshit, too. 

The other day I discovered that 5” hits my insides in such a way that it will send me over the moon.  It is that weird, prostate thing.  I have to be on top, facing him.  And, yes, it surprised me.  That said… I’m not going to marry the dude because his penis hits my prostate at just the right angle.

I want to keep my options open.

I’m all about variety.

And paradoxes. 

Feel Like A Number - Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band