Friday Fun: Happy Be Bald And Be Free Day!

Friday Fun: 

Happy Be Bald And Be Free Day!

I don't know about you...

...but I want to rub them all for good luck!

Another weekend full of possibilities.

Get out there and grab some!

Enjoy!

- uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

Shiny Bald Headed People - Guppy Pie

Bald Guy - Nice Peter

Wonderland Burlesque's Let's All Go To The Movies: Women Behind Bars Part VII: Pure Sexploitation

Wonderland Burlesque's 

Let's All Go To The Movies: 

Women Behind Bars Part VII

Pure Sexploitation

This is the last dozen we'll be covering as part of this series.

I did find other films/posters... but they're so sleazy that very little information is available about them... and, as you know, I like my smut with a little dirt. 

These? They don't disappoint.

--- ---

Sweet Sugar

(1972)

"Sugar gets what she wants... when she wants it!

"Her machete isn't her only weapon."

"Their world... a plantation. Their battleground... a tropical inferno.

"They're women... they're warm... they're wildcats!"

(A prostitute is set up by a corrupt politician. Found guilty, she agrees to do her time on a chain gang run by a man named Dr. John who performs medical experiments on the prisoners.)

(This one stars Phyllis Davis, who did a lot of television, including a long stint on the Robert Ulrich series Vega$, where she played his girl Friday for three seasons. She also appears in Russ Meyer's notorious Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Throughout the 1970's she was in a long term relationship with Dean Martin.)

--- ---

Fugitive Girls

(1974)

AKA: Five Loose Women

"No prison bars could hold them!"

 Four hardened convicts and one wrongfully convicted inmate breakout of a remote minimum security prison. With the law in hot pursuit, the five women terrorize or kill anyone who stands in their way to freedom.

(This one was co-written by none other than the creator of Plan Nine From Outer Space, Ed Wood, Jr.! He also plays two roles onscreen - a gas station attendant called 'Pops' and a sheriff in hot pursuit - and does the voiceover for the movie trailer.)

(Rene Bond appeared  in about 300 adult films and loops. She began her career in the late 1960's, choosing to do porn for the quick cash. "I had some friends who were working in porno, and I needed the money. So they said they'd introduce me to some people, and they did. I got used to the money". She did most of her sex scenes with her boyfriend, Ric Lutze. She even had a stage show where she stripped, sang and danced - her mother and father accompanied  her to all shows. In 1978 she fell off the radar, only to be spotted in 1985 on a game show called Break The Bank, where she managed to win $9,000.)

--- ---

Savage Sisters

(1974)

"Beware! The are still at large..."

"The Brigadier General... The Colonel The Field Marshall..."

(Three women bond together to help raise money in order to fund an island revolution.)

(Shot in the Philippines, the film's budget was set at a quarter of a million dollars - unheard of for films of this type. The picture was originally going to be marketed as a martial arts film, but due to several such films underperforming at the box office, the focus was switched, presenting it as a 'Patty Hearst/Liberation Army' sort of affair.) 

(The film stars a Bond girl! Gloria Hendry played Rosie Carver in 1973's Live And Let Die. )

--- ---

Ilsa: She Wolf Of The SS

(1975)

"The most dreaded Nazi of them all."

"She committed crimes so terrible... even the SS feared her!"

(Ilsa wants to prove that women deserved to fight on the frontlines of battle because they can withstand more pain and misery than men. As the warden at a Nazi death camp, she conducts medical experiments on the prisoners in order to prove her case.)

(Filled to the brim with scenes of extreme torture - including castration and flogging - this Canadian film would prove so popular with the public that three sequels were made. Film critic Gene Siskel called it "the most degenerate picture I have seen to play downtown. Ilsa plays like a textbook for rapists and mutilation freaks."  The film's director, Don Edmonds, is on record describing the screenplay as "the worst piece of shit I ever read." The film was banned in the UK, Norway, Germany, and Australia.) 

(The film's star, Dyanne Thorne, would become a cult icon. The character of Ilsa is based on Ilse Koch, the wife of a real-life commandant at the Buchenwald concentration camp. Note: the producer's first choice for the role of Ilsa was Sweet Sugar's Phyllis Davis. Thorne was a longtime Las Vegas showgirl who had studied under famed acting teacher Stella Adler. At the time she got hired she was working as a chauffeur.)

(The film was shot in nine days on the set of the television program Hogan's Heroes, which had been cancelled. The television studio allowed the film to be shot on the set because the film called for it to be burned down, thus saving the studio demolition costs.)

--- ---

The Muthers

(1976)

"Out of the steaming slave markets come the ravaging sea savages... The Muthers!"

(In order to rescue their Captain's sister, a band of female pirates go undercover at a prison camp operating on a coffee plantation.)

A favorite of Quentin Tarantino, this film stars two Playboy Playmates of the Month, a Bond girl and a former Miss Ohio! Jeannie Bell and Rosanne Katon were Playboy Playmates for October, 1969 and September 1978, respectively. Trina Parks played the Bond girl 'Thumper' in 1971's Diamonds Are Forever. And Jayne Kennedy is an NAACP award winner who represented Ohio at the Miss USA Pageant, making it into the top ten.)

,

--- ---

Ilsa: Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks

(1976)

"Ilsa's back! ...more fierce than ever!"

"With brutal fury, she enslaved an empire and shocked the world!"

(Seductive and cruel, Ilsa manages a sex-trafficking ring for a diabolical sheikh who enjoys enslaving and torturing women for his personal entertainment.)

(Despite his misgivings with the first film, director Don Edmunds returns behind the camera.) 

(Note: None of these sequels have any story continuity with one another, depicting Ilsa in wildly differing locations and time periods, often ending in her death or incapacitation.)

--- ---

Ilsa: The Tigress of Siberia

(1977)

(Set in 1953, in the frozen Siberian Tundra, Gulag 14, under the command of the brutal Ilsa, serves as a rehabilitation center for political dissidents. Twenty years later, we find Ilsa retired, working as a brothel owner in Canada. Still, her past haunts her, as Gulag 14's sole survivor seeks their revenge!)

 

(Shot on-location in Canada, this one is unique in the series due to its "two-act" structure. Produced by Ivan Reitman of Ghostbuster's fame and Roger Corman under the shared alias 'Julius Parnell.')

--- ---

Wanda The Wicked Warden

(1977)

AKA: Greta: The Wicked Warden/Greta: The Mad Butcher/Ilsa: The Wicked Warden

"Her prison was hotter than hell!"

"Young girls chained... condemned to a life of torment at the hands of their beautiful, brutal captor!"

(In order to find her sister, a young woman goes undercover to infiltrate an asylum for sexually deviant women run by evil warden Ilsa/Greta/Wanda.)

 

(Directed by Jesús Franco, Wicked Warden was not originally an official part of the film series, it was an unrelated European film starring Dyanne Thorne as a similar warden character named Wanda. When released in North America, the rights were purchased by the official Ilsa rights holders, who redubbed the film, renaming the main character Ilsa in order to capitalize on that brand's popularity. It is the only entry in the series produced in Germany.)

"This time she is..."

"That infamous 'Ilsa' woman is back."

"Once committed to her care, you'll be too terrified to die!"

"You'll choke with fear! Recoil in horror from her unleashed fury!"

--- ---

Hotel Paradise

(1980)

(Revolutionaries disguise themselves as soldiers in order to rescue a group of women who are forced to dig for emeralds in appalling conditions for an evil tyrant.)

(Starring pioneer trannsexual actress Ajita Wilson, who appeared in numerous exploitation and hardcore porn films during the 1970's and 1980's. She started out as a drag entertainer in the red-light district of New York, completing her reassignment surgery in the mid 1970's. Sadly, she died of a brain hemorrhage at the age of 37.) 

--- ---

10 Violent Women

(1982)

"Lookout world... here they come... ten violent women!"

"Too hot to handle. Too cunning to catch. 

"No prison could hold them."

"They take what they want."

(Fed up with their jobs working the mines, eight women decide to give a life of crime a try. They successfully pull off a jewelry heist, only to get busted by narcs when they try to buy cocaine.)

(See? Drugs are bad.)

--- ---- 

Red Heat

(1985

(While visiting her fiancée in West Germany, a young American woman gets involved with a spy defecting from the east.  The two are captured and after hours of brutal interrogation they find themselves in a brutal prison at the mercy of the sadistic guards and inmates. As her fiancée desperately works through mountains of red tape to find her, she must survive in a world of deprivation, rape and torture.)

(This is the third prison movie for Linda Blair. She also starred in Chained Heat and the groundbreaking television movie Born Innocent. Blair, a vegan, is also an animal rights activist. In 2004, she founded the Linda Blair WorldHeart Foundation, a nonprofit organization that serves to rehabilitate and adopt rescue animals.)

(Dutch actress Sylvia Kristel is best remembered as Emmanuel. She was the first actress to play the soft core goddess, appearing in five out of the seven films in the series.)

---- ---

Vendetta

(1986)

"All she wants is justice."

"All it takes is murder."

(A sexy stuntwoman gets herself thrown into prison to avenge the death of her sister.)

(Sandy Martin, a popular character actress - Napoleon Dynamite, Big Love, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Ray Donovan - plays the sexually predatory inmate in this one.)

(Roberta Collins from The Big Doll House also has a featured role.)

--- ---

Bad Girls Dormitory

(1986)

"Too dangerous for juvenile hall!"

"...They don't get much sleep!"

(A corrupt warden and her gang of sadistic guards rule over the inmates at a women's prison until the women can take no more and come up with a plan to breakout.)

--- ---

And that does it for Women In Prison films.

I hope you've enjoyed this series.

Tune in next time...

Same place, same channel.

Bad Girls - M.I.A.

Who Did It Better? Say Goodbye To Hollywood

Who Did It Better? 

Say Goodbye To Hollywood

 Today's Who Did It Better? selection is an example of a boomerang! 

A little retro homage that, when first tossed out? Hard to say if it was actually going anywhere. 

It even managed to bounce off of three other major talents before returning home to roost. And when it did? It was to its original artist, going to prove, that you simply never know how a song is going to find its way into the popular lexicon until it finally lands

Say Goodbye To Hollywood is a song written by Billy Joel. He wrote the song after moving back to New York City  from L.A. in 1975. The reason he moved to L.A.? He was trying to extradite himself from a record deal with a label that had screwed up the release of his debut album, Cold Spring Harbor by mastering it at too high a speed. 

Joel has stated in his university lectures that he wrote the song with Ronnie Spector and The Ronettes' classic song Be My Baby in mind. In kind, the song was also produced using aspects of Phil Spector's 'Wall Of Sound' production technique.

It was first released in 1976 on his fourth studio album, Turnstiles. Originally delegated in the US as the B-side to his I've Loved These Days single, the powers that be at Columbia thought better of it and a month later re-released as an A-side single with Stop in Nevada on the flip side. It failed to chart in the states, but did nab the #45 spot in Australia. 

Things worked out better five years later, when a live version of the song was included on his compilation album, Songs In The Attic. Released as a single with Summer, Highland Falls as the B-side, Say Goodbye To Hollywood peaked at #17 on Billboard's Hot 100, #35 on the AC chart and #27 in Canada.

In the meantime, the song was not idle.

In 1976, Ronnie Spector sang a duet with Southside Johnny on a track for an Asbury Duke's album, You Mean So Much To Me, penned by Bruce Springsteen. So taken with her contribution, Springsteen's E Street Band decided to record a one-off with Spector singing lead. Recognizing that distinctive opening beat, Spector decided that Say Goodbye To Hollywood was to be the song and it was released as a single. Sadly, and somewhat surprisingly, given the popularity of anything associated with Springsteen at the time, it failed to chart.

Spector wasn't the only songstress to appreciate the retro vibe of the song.

 

Bette Midler, who was cobbling together her fourth studio album, thought the vintage flavor of the song was a perfect fit for her and decided to include it on her 1977 Broken Blossom album. 

In addition... Elton John's longtime drummer, Nigel Olsson had been toying with a solo career for some time. He'd released four solo albums - two on UNI, and two on Rocket Records; both  labels associated with John. For 1978's self-titled effort, he jumped ship and signed on with Columbia Records. For that album, he recorded a version of Say Goodbye To Hollywood and it was released as the album's second single. However, it failed to chart. 

And that's just as well. For that meant that the song remained unassociated with any other artist and, when Joel revisited the song as a part of Songs In The Attic, given his increased popularity, it was deemed a perfect single to be released from that collection. 

And that's the whole story.

Now? On to the competition.

The Song: Say Goodbye To Hollywood

The Competition: Joel vs. Spector vs. Midler vs. Olsson

Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Billy Joel

Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Bette Midler

Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Ronnie Spector

Say Goodbye To Hollywood - Nigel Olsson

Billy Joel

Love that big beat. Ronnie and The Ronettes, indeed.

Joel sounds like he's being recorded in another room, but that is the effect when trying duplicate Phil Spector's Wall of Sound. His voice has always been piercing and lacks color, but it is an effective pop means of breaking through on AM Radio. 

His band is in good form, they have always offered him the best support. I like the harmonies. This is straight ahead, meat and potatoes pop. 

Here, Joel seems to be more interested in shout/singing than actually singing. It's a tad off-putting. 

Adore the story lyrics. This is a well-crafted tune. 

Dislike the strings on the bridge. And the whole thing suffers from a somewhat awkward time signature change. It's like the record skips. 

And really hate the strings after the 'oh's.' 

Wow, as Joel goes on he becomes less and less tuneful. I dare say, there are pitch issues.

Oh, and the strings carry on into the final verse. Too bad. It's too much frosting for this cake. 

Obligatory sax and not as soulful as one would wish. Clarence Clemons would have done this right.

As this goes on, seems less polished and more amateurish. Like any bar band in any small town could knock this out. You know, except for those hideous Neil Diamond strings.

I know the play-off is meant to make us feel a big swell of emotion... and maybe it would have worked if they'd saved the strings for then and only then. As is? Feels like padding. Not interested. 

Well, this didn't go as I remembered. 

And I can't blame the producer... Joel produced this album himself.

Bette Midler

That intro is disco dreck. Very messy.

Oh, dear... that tempo misses the point of the song.

And the backing vocals. Sort of a yelp there. Midler sounds like she's on helium or mastered at the wrong speed.

Everything feels awfully rushed.

Now, I like the 'doot do-its' on the second verse.

You know, if I remember correctly, this was a lot more fun live than it is on record. But then, that was the case with a lot of Bette's material back in the day. She'd work it out live, finding things in a song that escaped her in the studio.

Always enjoy the weird little breaks in her voice that occurred when she sings. You never knew what or when. But it was always very human and interesting.

Ick. That little guitar bit into the bridge. Hope that goes away and stays away.

The strings are annoying. Love the backing vocals. Midler sounds so tiny, I wish they'd slowed this down an allowed her to sit in the song a bit more. She's hitting all the notes, but it feels like a very surface reading, very rushed. 

The string stings suck ass. 

Is that a male vocalist doing a bullfrog beneath the second half of verse three? 

Interesting vocal arrangement at the end of that chorus. Does it work? And it continues into the play off. Odd choice, but it does add a certain element. I would have killed this at the 2:30 mark.

Maybe this hasn't aged well?

Ronnie Spector

Speaking of the late Clarence Clemons.

Messy intro, but very E Street. Jury is out on the strings. Really? Strings that early.

Ronnie sounds right at home. Huh. Who would have guessed. 

Okay, the sax is a little in the way, but Ronnie is still holding her own. It's a definite Springsteen-sounding arrangement. Huh, I like the interplay between the piano and the strings. It works.

During the second verse, the arrangement is overwhelming the singer a bit too much. Too bad. 

Okay... the strings are going way overboard on the bridge. I wish they'd trusted Ronnie more. 

Damn. What a missed opportunity. Those strings are just awful. They're destroying the beat and washing out the entire song. 

Still, this is a great moment for Ronnie. She sounds right at home. 

Damn.

Nigel Olsson

He's a drummer, so he gets the intro right. I even rather like that programmed sequencer bit. 

I'll be damned. He's getting this right. It's very clean, and I like that. It's that space between the big beats - it needs to be respected. 

I even like his voice. Though it's a little like Shaun Cassidy.

The backing vocal arrangement is interesting. A bit heavy-handed. 

He sort of misses the vocal fun inherent in the melody of the bridge. Rhythmically, he's smoothed away all the edges. Oh, don't know what he's doing with that second half, though. Shrill. 

Weird little vocal flourish with that programmed sequencer to take us into the third verse. It's all a bit much? This started out so well.

He gets back on track only to allow that hoary organ to well up out of nowhere. This is truly overproduced. So many elements thrown in, none of it consistently so or in focus. 

I do love the Ronnie Spector like 'Oh-oh-oh-oh's.'  Nice touch. 

Boy, too bad. It sure got messy at times. 

The Verdict

Wow. Some 'almosts' in the lot, but no real winner.

I like Joel's arrangement and production the best. I rather loath his vocals though. They are frequently tuneless, bringing none of the fun of the era he's evoking. He's just shouting in a rather unmusical manner.

Midler misses the point of the song. Her arrangement washes out all the fun of the era it evokes, leaving us with a glossy, polished nothing burger. It's that tempo, too. She could have had a lot of fun with this had she done with this what she did with Leader Of The Pack.

Ronnie is in great voice, and sounds perfectly at home. But between those strings and the sax player, she tends to get drowned out. It's a wasted opportunity.

And Olsson starts out on the right foot, but quickly loses his way in a very unfocused arrangement. They simply kept throwing in too many differing elements. None of it stayed long enough to make an impression nor did half of it work. 

So... I'm going with Ronnie, despite the lousy arrangement. She still taps what's important here, evoking an era that begs to be romanticized. I wish Billy Joel had produced her version... his arrangement and production with her vocals? That would have been perfection.

--- ---

And that's enough of me.

Okay, your turn. You know what to do. Leave your thoughts and choice in the comments section. I love to hear what you're hearing!

That's all for now. Until next time...

Thanks for reading... and listening!

Say Good-Bye To Hollywood - Billy Joel

Say Good-Bye To Hollywood - Ronnie Spector