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TMI Questions – Classic Edition: Let’s Go To The Movies

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: 
Let’s Go To The Movies

“Let’s all go to the lobby, let’s all go to lobby, let’s all go the lobby, to get ourselves a treat!”

More and more, movie going is not the treat it once was.  Today’s cinema multiplexes are nothing more than product market introduction centers, sterile egg cartons whose pods temporarily hold brightly-colored Easter eggs which contain little substance. It’s all flash and no content. 

Thanks to the likes of Michael Bay – who singlehandedly has ruined cinema forever - film going isn’t what it used to be.

It’s rarely about art. 

It’s always about money.

It’s always about noise, the latest technology, and appealing to the lowest common denominator.

So, I opt out.  For the most part.

Twice a year, or so, something will entice me enough to layout my hard-earned dough, but, typically? 

I’d rather sit on my boyfriend’s couch.

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

TMI Questions – Classic Edition: Let’s Go To The Movies

Do you still go to the movies? Why or Why not.

Yes, I still go.  But not as frequently as I once did.  It’s too expensive, there are cheaper and more pleasant ways to watch a movie, and I don’t really have the time to watch any movie.  Seriously, I’m lucky if I get to watch the evening news or catch an episode of ‘Judge Judy’. 

I used to be a television watcher, but… things change.  Haven’t been since I left the ex.  Since that time, there has been no time and no reason to sit on my old couch.  The only time I watch anything is at the boyfriend’s place and that is always a DVD, as he doesn’t watch regular television either. 

He has introduced me to a number of films that hadn't been on my radar – things that have terrified and enthralled me.  And movies I had never thought to watch.

He has excellent taste.

But, as far as going to a movie theatre?  I dislike people.  I dislike putting up with their crap.  I dislike sharing.  I dislike crowds.

The boyfriend’s couch is perfect for me.

Would you go by yourself?

Not these days… but there was a time when I lived in movie theatres.  It was during my dark days in L.A.  I was battling a rather catastrophic illness at the time and it was devastating me; physically, emotionally, and financially.  My career went down the crapper at the same time.  I worked for a man who was a super physical fitness nut, and once he realized how sick I was he shut me out – shut me out of meetings and all decision-making, stole my ideas, redirected my work, and withheld assignments.   He was an utter, self-absorbed asshole. 

Hanging on for the paycheck and the health insurance, I kept my mouth shut and ended up with a really fancy office in a really fancy building.  There was eventually a financial settlement of sorts which helped mr limp through when times got even darker during my eventual recovery.  The whole experience made me even more bitter than I already was – and, coming off of years in the theatre, I was hella bitter, trust me. 

Anyway, I ended up with a lot of time on my hands and nothing to do.  I had no one I considered a real friend and, due to my physical decline, sex of any kind, anonymous or otherwise, was out of the question.   So, being a creature who naturally sought out darkness, I ended up going to the movies. 

Independent films were the rage at the time and I pretty much consumed anything that showed up at the theatres in my area.  There was one theatre in this very, very cushy mall that catered to my tastes.  I spent a lot of time there.  I couldn’t eat anything, so popcorn and concessions were out of the question. 

During that time period, I remember I used to go to restaurants early, just before dinner rush and sit by myself at their least obvious booth or table.  I would order big meals, take a taste of it, realize I couldn’t eat any of it, leave a huge tip and leave all the food sitting there.  I hated wasting the food, but I did it anyway because I wanted to maintain some sense of normalcy in my life.

Going to the movies helped that, too.  For those couple of hours, I could completely forget my situation and leave my physical self behind.  It was blessed relief during a rather ugly chapter.

Once back in Minneapolis, as I began recovering, I continued this habit.  The Lagoon Theatres were rather new and catered to the indie-loving crowd, so I hid out there, going to matinee after matinee.

I saw some incredible films (‘Welcome to the Dollhouse’ being one of many), but the entire time all I really wanted was to resume a normal life.  Once I recovered and began rebuilding my life, my focus moved on and going to movies became more of a monthly thing… until it became a twice a year thing.

What was the last movie you saw?

In a theatre?  ‘Maleficent’ starring a totally wasted Angelina Jolie.

Angelina can actually act.  She’s beautiful and talented.  Not a huge fan, but you have to give her props. In ‘Maleficent’, she was given one decent monologue and tore the walls up with it.  It was one of the few scenes in the movie where they didn’t CGI the crap out of her face.

And what is up with that? 

I hate CGI movies.  They are the worst.  I get it that it is cheaper and more interesting to sub such special effects for backgrounds or made-up monsters and the like, but now they are doing it to real actors’ faces and bodies.  They never look natural.  They always come off as alien creatures.  It’s off-putting and ruins my movie going experience.

The only thing worse?  Supposed 3-D movies.  No thank you. 

Sadly, ‘Maleficent’ was a total bore. 

Bad script, ridiculous dialogue.  Horribly intrusive CGI stuff.  It was a visual feast, but so what?   Twenty minutes into the film my senses were so overwhelmed I couldn’t appreciate any of it.   What was meant to enthrall and amaze came off as calculated, wrong-minded manipulation. 


Love that headpiece, though.

Recent recommendation(s)?

If you haven’t seen the claymation film, ‘Mary and Max’, it is a must see, as is ‘Up’; a great piece of animated storytelling, neither of which I would have seen had it not been for the boyfriend.

He has also introduced me to some of the most disturbing cinema I have ever seen. 

He hates torture porn, so he always goes for these dark psychological terror pieces.  I can’t remember the titles.  One was about this recovering heroin addict and a creepy farm house where this cult once resided.  Another all takes place in a small suburban home where there may or may not be demons stalking people. There are three people in the film and they end up playing into the paranoia and the results are unspeakable. 

Snacks? Buy, Bring or Boycott?

I rarely buy anything.  It is usually the person I am with who insists on popcorn and soda.  The popcorn is always wrong.  Hate that imitation butter crap.  Sometimes I will join in, grabbing a handful or two – or if I haven’t eaten, bogart the whole box.

I don’t typically drink soda.  Soda is liquid candy.  If I want a piece of candy, I will eat a piece of candy – something I rarely do, because sugar has a cocaine-like effect on me.  The combo of caffeine and sugar?  OMG, watch out.  So, no to soda. 

If I am truly thirsty, I will drink water or gin (!). 

Overall?  (And I know this is how movie theatres make their money, blah, blah, blah.)  I boycott it.

I think about bringing stuff in, but usually, if it’s anything more than a bottle of water, chicken out.  If I really want something, I feel I should buy it at concessions.

Teenagers used to go to the movies to make out. Have you ever and if so, when was the last time?


The boyfriend and I hold hands, but it hasn’t gone beyond that.

Given the movie theatres I go to these days, I would be uncomfortable making out; too many suburban rednecks.  I wouldn’t want to impose on their movie experience and would rather avoid any potential drama.  Their homophobia and judgment, I don’t need.  There’s enough out there to deal with, as is.

Besides… I’m there to watch the movie.

Which all-time favorite movie would you pay to see on the big screen again? (Of course cell phones, babies, and assholes are banned.)

I would like to see a restored copy of Orson Welles', ‘The Magnificent Amberson’s’.  Agnes Moorehead delivers an Academy-worthy turn in that film, and the story’s breadth and message remind me of Dickens’ ‘Great Expectations’. 

It was a potentially awesome film truncated due to closed minds and greedy, jealous hearts. 

If it had not been for the studio tinkering done to many of his films, I wonder if Orson Welles would have remained a vital filmmaker.  The experience of being thwarted definitely poisoned him, altering his vision his entire life.  In the end, I think he just gave up.

The other film I would like to see on the big screen, although I cannot imagine the impact it would have on my psyche, is ‘Requiem for a Dream’, one of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen.  Up there on the big screen?  I think it would be overwhelming in so many ways that my mind would simply short circuit right on the spot, turning me into a lobotomized zombie, leaving me void of any human warmth or empathy.

You know, like Michael Bay.

1 comment:

whkattk said...

Is does seem to be all about product placement and trying to take over the top money-making spot. I'm all for pure entertainment, but there's a limit to how many cities and people I care to see decimated in one sitting. But, every once in a while something comes along that really is about story telling.

"Lucy" is (partially) one and is the last film I saw. It surprised me; made me think.