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TMI Questions: Happy Birthday!

TMI Questions: Happy Birthday!

My attitude toward getting older has changed drastically.  I used to be rather bitter, resentful, and overly concerned about aging.  In other words, a big old vain gay cow. 

Oh, I didn’t mind if someone else was older (in fact, I preferred them that way), so I was no ageist. 

No, I merely hated the idea that I was getting older.  I still had (and have) so much to do and experience.  Because ageism is so prevalent in our society, I thought that meant my options would become more limited and that certain parts of life would simply be closed to me, once I reached a certain age.

I don’t feel that way anymore. I’ve stopped being afraid.


I could really care less.  My age is merely a number (a large one, in my case), and it doesn’t define who I am, who I can become, or how I feel.  If the world is a place of endless possibilities, then my growing one year older in no way inhibits what I am able to create and bring into my life. 

If I’m to succeed, being smart about aging now, in the present, is going to be key.

I eat right.  I have learned to do things in moderation.  My head and heart are healthy and frequently self-examined.  I work out regularly and frequently while seeing my physician on a regular basis, in order to ensure that my body is in it for the long haul. 

Granted, the mirror is still not my friend. Never has been. 

I am getting older, but I am not old.  I figure I will be old when I am in my 90’s.  Until then, I look at it as a challenge.  I want my body to remain looking as good as possible for as long as possible.  I want to redefine what we need to accept about getting older.  I want to be able to bend and stretch and reach without limitations.   

And, I guess, that’s my whole point.  I want to live without limits.  And that includes those supposedly imposed by growing older. 

So, light those candles.  Sing that song.  Bring it on.

Birthdays equal validation, as in: I’m still here.

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information

TMI Questions: Happy Birthday!

Do you enjoy celebrating your birthday (forgetting about the getting older part)?

Not really. 

If someone else insists on it, I will go along with it, as long as not very many people are involved (six is my limit).  That’s because I’m such an introvert and people exhaust me.  I don’t want to be exhausted on my birthday.

Well wishes are appreciated.  Other than that, not much is required.

I do enjoy celebrating other people’s birthdays, in a social setting. 

But being the center of attention?  Not my thing.

What's your sign and is it accurate?


I am a Valentine’s Day baby!  That used to be the only part I like about my birthday.  I never had to suffer feeling overlooked on Valentine’s Day, because I would get attention, whether in a relationship or not.  Hence, no Valentine’s Day blues for this baby!

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Aquarian Traits
The humanitarians of the Zodiac, the Aquarius are inventive and modern individuals. Honest truth-seekers, they are broad-minded and creative people. The new, novel and modern have a magnetic allure in the amiable Aquarius’ world. Friendly, gregarious, candid, the Aquarius are popular people in their circles. No wonder they have innumerable friends!  However, the truth is, while Aquarius may have many acquaintances, they may not be really close to anyone in particular. In fact, they may be quite detached and changeable.

Positive Qualities of Aquarians
Veracity, Legitimacy, Investigative spirit, Pleasing personality, Candor and Innovation

Negative Qualities of Aquarius
Inconsistency, Disinclination, Detachment, Tendency to deviate, Inefficiency.

Famous Personalities
Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Boris Yeltsin, Dick Cheney, Franklin Roosevelt, Michael Jordan, Paris Hilton.

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Well… sure, I guess.  

Yes, I have so much in common with Albert Einstein (sex addiction), Boris Yeltsin (borderline alcoholic), Dick Cheney (delusional, mean asshole), Michael Jordan (rapist) and Paris Hilton (no-talent slut).   Gee… I feel so… special.

I must admit I am a total airhead, scatter-brained, and easily-distracted (oooh… shiny object).  My desire has always been to be creative, but I fear it’s a muscle that while exercised frequently, has never functioned properly (could be a birth defect, could be due to oxygen deprivation). 

I have met a lot of people whom have wanted to be my friend, but I seem incapable. Friendships used to happen frequently and easily, but they would not last for long.  I would burn them out.  

Also, as a total introvert, I tend to avoid crowds of people… or all people, actually.

The positive/negative traits listed are pretty on the nose, save for that ‘pleasing personality’ part.  And that ‘popular’ thing.  Yeah, I wouldn’t peg me as either.

But then that depends on your interpretation. I am eager to please others and be of service. However, personality-wise I tend to be a bit of a crabby-patty. 

Want to change that?

Hand me a boodles martini (up, olives, side of ice) and you will find I become an absolute delight to be around.

What's your Chinese zodiac sign and is it accurate?

Chinese Zodiac Sign: Metal Ox

The Metal Element allows the Metal Ox to be the most intense, determined and motivated of all the Ox signs. The Metal Ox needs to be engaged in practical pursuits, where it is then possible to display their passion. One must know that the toughness of the Metal Ox should go without question and the same can be said for their loyalty and dependability. More so than any of the other Ox's, the Metal Ox lives life with a foundation of morals and tradition.

-       (I have never been very practical.  Typically, I resort to such only in light of some catastrophic creative failure – call it my recovery mode.  Determined?  You betcha.  But these days I am more likely to spot the folly-to-come before committing any resources.  Yes, I am sadder, but wiser.  But, really – richer for it.  Experience is a great teacher.  And, boy, have I learned a lot.)


-       (Cah…. Wha?  Huh?  Oh, THAT thing.)

The highly motivated Metal Ox has very few limitations as long as they keep their passion. In this sense, the Metal Ox can pursue any genuine interest they desire. With a strong sense of values and justice, the Metal Ox could do well in politics or law, which is the case for Metal Ox Barack Obama. Similarly, there are been several successful entertainers, among them being George Clooney and Forest Whitaker.

-       (Very passionate when I want to do something.  However, there are fewer and fewer things I want to do.  Politics?  Ummm, only if you want a big juicy scandal.  And yes, let me entertain you – wink, wink.  We’ll have a real good time…)


-       (I like that this comes with a warning! I should come with one, too.)

At times, the Metal Ox can seem arrogant, but realize that this is a product of their determination turning into impenetrable stubbornness. To overcome this potential downfall, the Metal Ox has to spend time to develop an open mind. In the same sense, the Metal Ox can often be too blunt for most people's taste and should be aware of their ability to offend. Be aware that when the Metal Ox is too committed to their own views, it is not unusual for clashes to occur!

-       (I have been accused of being intimidating and once, by a passive aggressive manager of being physically intimidating (I can’t see how.). These days, I am the first to recognize when I am being pig-headed and have therefore come limit the number of things in this world that I insist upon. That’s why I am good a big picture thinking/planning, because I can see most sides of an issue, due to a kind of empathy.  I am also good at debating issues, because I am truly interested in what the other person believes in and why they believe it.  They may be totally wrong, but that’s the only way to find the chinks in their reasoning – to be empathetic.

-       I am blunt (horribly so), and have a tendency to offend. This has caused a lot of trouble for me in my lifetime, so I have learned to mind my words now.  My opinion isn’t always important.  I do love a good debate, so clashing with others is rather second nature for me. I can be horribly contrary, on purpose, simply for effect.  The human condition is of great interest to me, so on occasion I will do or say something in order to get the balls in rolling.)  

Those born under the Metal Ox sign have the added benefit of strengthened lungs and large intestines. Metal Ox's are encouraged to not threaten these vital systems with unhealthy habits.

-       (I am happy to learn of the vigor of my large intestines. I only hope my liver is also well fortified.  My lungs, on the other hand, are not what they used to be (one of them is a bit crushed on the bottom).  Sigh.  Was really hoping that a different organ of mine would have been of significant size. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m above average, and have never received a complaint.  Still… it would have been nice to have been given one physical characteristic that I could have built a career on.  You, know… John Holmes style.)

-       (Wait a minute… if I remember right, that didn’t turn out all that well.)

Do you celebrate your pet's Birthday?

I do acknowledge them.  But, no.  

As much as I love them: no cakes, no parties.  Just lots of love.

What was your best birthday?

The one to come.

I simply look forward to time passing.  I want to be here.  I want to experience it all.  So, if growing older is part of that deal, then sign me up. 

I’m not being stupid about it, either.  I’m planning for my future.  I see my life path, and some of it - I have a say in, and some of it - I must accept and honor. 

Bring it on.  I’m simply grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere.

I can be young in my heart forever.  I can believe in the power of love for the rest of my life.  I’m not reliving anything.  I’m not trying to hang on to anything either. 

What’s to come, what’s down the road, what can I make happen next? 

Those are the things that matter to me.

What was your worst birthday?

When I was ten my folks insisted we go to these friends of theirs on the night of my birthday – which meant no cake, no special meal for me.  No friends to stay overnight either.  So, I was in a pissy mood and acted up quite a bit, which angered my mother – a force to be reckoned with in those days. You did not want to mess with her (hormonal imbalance). 

But, I was distraught because no one seemed interested in celebrating my birthday.   

My mom yelled at me the entire way home and once we got in the house gave me the spanking to end all spankings.  Not only did it hurt, but I really felt way too old to be spanked.  So, I was outraged, embarrassed, frustrated, and emotionally hurt.

Then – kaboom – my mom drops all these presents on me; a ton of Hot Wheels related items that I had been dreaming of – and a cake.  I could not believe she had gotten me what I wanted and had found a way to afford to do so. 

That said, the whole thrill was tainted by what had preceded it.  It was emotional whiplash.  Here: I will beat your ass. Here: now be joyously happy.  Well, I couldn’t be happy.  It all felt creepy and sad and I hated every bit of it, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I pretended to be deliriously happy. 

You know the album cover for that Hole album, ‘Live Through This?’ 

Yeah, that’s how I felt.

And – here’s the thing about all those toys I so loved…

They never worked the way they showed them on T.V.  

There was always something wrong with them: they wouldn’t stay on the track, they were out of balance, the batteries ran out too fast or wouldn’t hold a charge – always something.  Same goes for those electric race car sets.  I just had no luck with that kind of thing, and that made for many a frustrating disappointment. 

Frustrating disappointments…

…you know, kind of like birthdays used to be.

What has been your best age so far?

My current one. 

I live in the moment because it is the only way I am sure I’m still alive.

Therefore, I tend to like wherever I am, whenever I am.

I remain grateful. 

Because… in so many ways, I really shouldn’t still be here at all. 

Birthday cake?

Not a fan. 

Dislike icing, frosting and the like.  I do like real whipped cream.  And I do like certain kinds of cake – the simpler, the better. 

White.  Fresh.  With whipped cream and some fruit compote, maybe strawberries.  Small portion. 


I’d rather have an ice cold martini.



That way there is always a reason for me to blow on my birthday!

Is birthday sex expected, a present or a rarity? Do you get spanked?

This year, I got laid on my birthday!  For the first time.  Ever.

It pays to have a great boyfriend. 


…I do.


1 comment:

anne marie in philly said...

I'd like to see several of those boyz jump out of a cake for me!

congrats on getting laid on your birthday; that ship sailed for me many years ago. :(