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Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week: The AFA and The FRC

Wonderland Burlesque’s 
Turdscooters of the Week: 
The AFA and The FRC


You had to know - what with the Supreme Court set to rule on the validity of gay marriage bans - that there would be a rush of homophobic rhetoric.

Flapping their arms in the air like a bunch of frightened, lavender-haired grannies, the AFA (American Family Association) and the FRC (Family Research Council) have wasted no time scooting to the front of the line in order to hysterically babble their usual nonsense.

Last week, echoing sentiments expressed in October by mouthpiece Bryan Fisher, the AFA President Tim Wildmon demanded that Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Elena Kagan recuse themselves from the decision because “their impartiality has been severely compromised” due to all the “sodomy-based wedding ceremonies” the two have officiated.  

Of course, neither man has taken issue with allowing the likes of well-documented homophobe Antonin Scalia or the other conservative Justices from stepping down, but then those Justices support the outcome The AFA would like, so… ummm… yeah.

In other news, we have the FRC’s Tony Perkins claiming (yet again) that gay marriage will hurt Christians!  (Won’t somebody think of the Christians!)


Yes, it’s that same tired argument.  You know: the one for which they have no proof.  Not that it stops them from speaking in tongues - for that is what their argument sounds like those with more logical minds. 

It’s okay.  They can say what they wish.  This country’s constitution preserves their right to expose their own ignorance. 

If we are lucky, and the Justices do the right thing (their jobs), media appearances by both organizations may simply become a thing of the past, for, by making such panic-stricken leaps of logic, both organizations would seem to be ringing their own death knells.  I mean, faced with my own extinction, I’m sure I would lose my fucking mind and start spouting absurd rubbish, too. 

So, dearly beloved, as we are gathered here; let’s all don a black lace veil (of contempt), wipe a (jaundiced) tear from our eyes, and toss a thorny rose of hope in the hole as their caskets descend, as a means of saluting Wonderland Burlesque’s Turdscooters of the Week:  The American Family Association and The Family Research Council.

May these organizations soon R.I.P (Rest In Pieces).

Oh, I know that they will probably continue to hobble on, bumping into walls, feeding on the slow and lame - funded by the lunatic fringe : those people who refuse to accept reality.

But, no matter, for these groups will, indeed, be quite dead.  Zombies, all.

Which, if I remember correctly, is a state they have always wanted to attain - you know?  So they can truly live in the image of that original zombie who upon the third day rose from the dead, blah, blah, blah.

Eh, as Patron Saint of the Gays, George Michael once said: you gotta have faith.

1 comment:

anne marie in philly said...

yeah, the teabagistanis are getting their granny panties tied up in knots over the impending arguments/decision.

may the justices make equality the LAW once and for all!