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Friday, March 11, 2011

Acquired Tastes, Chapter IX : Size (Queen)

I think by now that I’ve gotten the idea across that Acquired Tastes are really all in the eye of the beholder. In this instance, there is nothing my eye likes to behold better than a big, fat juicy, dangling dick (or a hard one, if you please). That qualifies me for the title Size Queen; something I have fought and denied my whole life. But what’s the shame in that? I don’t understand. If a straight man likes big titties, he can say so with pride, but in the gay community, telling someone that you prefer a big dick to a small one is some kind of anathema. Why? Because there are many more moderately sized to tiny sized dudes out there than there are those who are truly blessed. So we compensate. We tell ourselves size doesn’t matter, so we can feel better about our own relatively average sizes.

In other words, we lie. We lie to ourselves. We lie to the world. We deny ourselves the pleasure of relishing in something we really enjoy. We deny ourselves the opportunity to celebrate it. We put others down in order to feel better about ourselves.

Fuck that. Man up.

Size Queens of the world? It’s time to unite. It’s time to free ourselves of the shame. I can’t tell you how many times someone has hurled the term size queen at me as if it was an insult meant to hurt (and it did – more the queen part than the size thing, but that’s a topic for another Acquired Tastes). But that’s my fault. I allowed that to happen. Fact is… liking a big dick pretty much goes with liking dick – as in – being gay. Why put up with all the bullshit you have to deal with being a gay male and then deny yourself one of the pleasures of being gay? There are enough people putting gays down out there as is; let’s not be part of that problem.

Do all dicks need to be big in order to qualify as nice? No. I can think of a number of really pretty cocks I have had the pleasure of seeing in the locker room or up close and personal. I may have not gotten the opportunity to help them rise to the occasion and fulfill their potential, but I certainly have appreciated just being able to look at them. That said if it happens to be a bit on the large side, swing with a healthy weight as in possessing a pendulous quality, then so much the better. Big can be pretty, too.

Now, I know there are those dudes on Craigslist that advertise that they are looking for those on the small side. Good for them. How commendable. When offered a smaller portion, I never turn it down; a free meal being a free meal. It just means that I have to make a few extra trips to the sex buffet that day, if you know what I mean (until I meet my meat quota – not). Nice thing is I always know when I’m full and when to stop. True, frequently my eyes are too big for what I can stomach, but then I just excuse myself and push away from the buffet.

It’s all a matter of perspective; you use your own size as the jumping off point for comparisons. If you’re six inches, then 7.5 seems large to you, than say me, someone who has 7.5. For me 8 is great, 8.5 is generous and anything over nine is huge. I like my dick. I like its size, shape, color and texture. It does the trick, so to speak. I wonder if that’s true for everyone? Do we consider what we have as the norm and everything else is different, pro or con, depending on our experience with different kinds of cocks? Does everyone wish they were larger?

Is this an adolescent thing to contemplate? Is that why size queens are put down so vigorously? Because being enamored of big cocks is considered juvenile?

Then I guess I’m still an adolescent, because I am.a…

Size (Queen)

Scope of Activity:
The objectification of the male penis (erect or not) based on length and width.

The Official Line:
From Wikipedia:

A study undertaken at Utrecht University found that the majority of homosexual men in the study regarded a large penis as ideal, and having one was linked to self esteem. One study analyzing the self-reported Kinsey data set found that homosexual men had statistically larger penises than their heterosexual counterparts. One potential explanation given is a difference in the exposure to androgen hormones in the developing embryo. Evidence points towards men of each of these two orientations being equally likely to exaggerate the size of their penis.

Perceptions of penis size are culture-specific. In Ancient Greece and in Renaissance art, an uncircumcised and small penis was culturally seen as desirable in a man, whereas a bigger or circumcised penis was viewed as comical or grotesque. Ancient Rome may have had a contrary view, and a larger penis size was preferred in medieval Arabic literature.

Another study, conducted at Groningen University Hospital, asked 375 sexually active women (who had recently given birth) the importance of penis size and concluded: "Although clearly in the minority, a nevertheless considerable percentage of the women respondents attached substantial importance to the size of the male sexual organ".

The term size queen is slang for a person who prefers their sexual partner(s) to have a larger-than-average penis.

Growers not show-ers: the phenomenon of penises that appear small or average when flaccid, but exceed expected length when fully erect.

There is evidence both for and against a link between penis size and the size of other body parts. One study found a weak correlation between the size of the stretched penis and foot size and height. Another investigation failed to find any evidence for a link between shoe size and stretched penis size. A potential explanation for a link is that the development of the penis in an embryo is controlled by some of the same Hox genes as those that control the development of the limbs. Mutations of some Hox genes that control the growth of limbs cause malformed genitalia (hand–foot–genital syndrome).

Most of human penis growth happens between infancy and the age of five, and in five years after the onset of puberty. Age is not believed to negatively correlate with penis size, and studies have not found a relation between penis size and race. There is evidence both for and against a link between penis size and the size of other body parts. Some environmental factors in addition to genetic, such as the presence of endocrine disruptors, can affect penis growth

Psychological Aspects:

When it comes to penis size, insecurity abounds. Society, as evidenced by television sitcom content, is obsessed with male genital size. There’s not an episode of Two and a Half Men that doesn’t crack at least one penis size related joke, most of which are at the expense of those less endowed.

Males may quite easily underestimate the size of their own penis relative to that of others, and many men who believe that their penis is of inadequate size have average-sized penises. The perception of having a large penis is often linked to higher self esteem.

For women, width rather than length is a more important factor of sexual stimulation. A study published in BMC Women's Health surveyed women's preferences concerning penis size and concluded that width rather than length is a more important factor of sexual stimulation. Similar results were found in a cover story published in Psychology Today, which surveyed 1,500 readers (about 2/3 women) about male body image. Many of the women were not particularly concerned with penis size and over 71% thought men overemphasized the importance of penis size and shape. Generally, the women polled cared more about width than men thought, and less about length. "...the number one reason women preferred a thicker penis was that it was more satisfying during intercourse."
Widespread private concerns related to penis size have led to a number of folklore sayings and popular culture reflections related to penis size.

Penis panic is a form of mass hysteria involving the believed removal or shrinking of the penis, known as genital retraction syndrome.

Products such as penis pumps, pills, and other dubious means of penis enlargement are some of the most marketed products in email spam.

At present there is no consensus in the scientific community of any non-surgical technique that permanently increases either the thickness or length of the erect penis that already falls into the normal range (4.5" to 7").

My Experience:
Based on my experience most dudes are 6-7 inches (and trust me, I’ve done a lot of independent research). Nothing wrong with that, but if that was all that life offered, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be such a damn sex addict.

For me, if a dude has a big penis it can make up for his other short comings – like say, the inability to carry on a conversation, or use words with more than two syllables, or having poor taste in music, movies or television, or poor hygiene.

Like everyone else, I remember checking out and comparing other guys penises since the first day of gym class. It was an absolutely innate thing to do. I began in fifth grade and have never stopped. I especially being infatuated with a couple of high school coaches with big members. As a kid, seeing an adult penis was like seeing a great painting; a locker room was like visiting a fine art museum – my eyes could simply not take it all in.

The biggest one I ever played with? Probably eight years ago? Fifteen inches - hard. Belonged to this really tall, really thin older white dude. We hit it off on-line and out of total curiosity, I decided I had to go and play with it. I get there and we end up talking, sitting opposite each other in his living room for about forty minutes. The entire time I’m thinking, hey, where’s the magic rod? Where’s the sex? Finally he gets the hint, or comes to his senses, and realizes that while the conversation is fine, this is a hook-up and he needs to serve up the salami. He walks me to his refrigerator and tells me to pick out a bottle of poppers. The butter holder on the fridge is filled with dozens of tiny brown bottles, all left, he tells me, by former tricks of his. I pick something out and then follow him to his bedroom. His bed is really, really high up from the ground and I don’t remember all the specifics, other than, he has no trouble getting his dick hard and keeping it hard. It’s definitely on the thin side, but when dealing with that length, maybe there is some type of optical illusion at play and it would turn out, if measured that his is quite average in width. At this time, I hadn’t been bottoming all that long, but I decided this was definitely a dick I had to experience. I think he said something like, “Well, now I suppose you’re going to want to sit on it. So, knock yourself out.” Or something to that affect; very nonchalant and rather bored with the whole thing. Ignoring this, I stood up on the bed and began sliding my way down his member, sucking down the poppers the whole time. It was intense and oddly soothing. Once I reached the bottom and was sitting firmly on his pubic bones… I immediately shot my load all over his face and chest. I mean, the stuff just flew out of my dick. I remember making some silly whooping noise as it happened and being rather amazed by the whole thing.

Apologizing, I began sliding off his dick, thinking we would continue. “No problem,” he said, “happens all the time.” But that was it. Game over. I commented that I felt bad that he didn’t get to cum, to which he replied, “Oh, not a big deal. At my age, cumming is not that big of a deal.” I’m not sure if he meant that at his age orgasms were boring or if it was just not visually impressive. (I think he meant the latter.) We chatted a bit more. He showed me his extensive art collection and I left. So, been there, done that; saw the mountain and I climbed it; my volcano erupted, his did not.

Recently, I’ve gone through a period where all I seem to attract are those with really average dicks. They’re fun to play with and I am grateful for their efforts, it’s just some times what I really want is to have my hole stretched and filled to the brim. I was about to resign myself to living in a world of 6.5 inch dicks, when something in the universe shifted and I was granted access to a couple of fucking awesome cocks in a single day.

It’s late morning on a Thursday. My boss is out of town on business, so my schedule was really flexible. If it had been during the summer I would have been out at the prairie sunning myself and cruising. But it’s winter… that part they refer to as the dead of winter, which also adequately describes my recent run of luck when playing online. Bored, I go to a site I visit often. I immediately notice that there are two ‘quick ads’ posted for my area. Quick ads refer to notices members seeking instant gratification – as in ‘right now’ – post. Usually there are no more than three in my area at anytime and usually they are all bottoms, but I always check just in case. This time there is an ad posted by a dude called TotalTop. He’s on my ‘friends’ list, but I rarely see him online and have never had an opportunity to hook up with him. There’s not a lot of info in his profile and his pics are all headless body shots, featuring his big old nine inch pole. He’s in good shape, slim, tall, smooth and several years younger than me, but I decide it’s worth a shot, so I shoot him an email asking if he’s up for some ‘hot lunch’. Much to my surprise, he hits me back. His message is very cryptic and I am thinking this is probably not going to go anywhere. But what the hell, I have a limited number of emails on this particular site and wasn’t anywhere near my limit, so why not waste them on this dude? So I do. In his second email he mentions something about wanting to fuck somebody in his workroom. That triggers something in my head, but I’m not certain – maybe it is just a coincidence. I tell him where I am and ask for his location. When I read his reply I realize I know this dude – as a total bottom. Turns out he has two profiles on the site – one for when he is in a bottom mood and another when he wants to top. He tells me it is pretty rare for him to want to top, but it does happen and today he is definitely in the mood to seed some hole. I race to clean up and then set a time to meet.

It’s nice when you know where you’re going, especially when sex is on the mind. I pull into his parking lot, gather what I will need and head to a metal door that is cracked open. Last time I entered here, I found a nice, smooth bottom bent over a covered crate, waiting for my dick. It was hot and sweet. His workroom is like something out of a gay porno, in other words, it’s perfect. Even the lighting is cool. I loved working my dick into his hole amid all the tools and miscellaneous shit that collects in these kind of shops. Not having topped in a long time, I surprised myself by doing a pretty good job, changing it up, varying my tempo and thrust, and lasting just long enough to have made it worthwhile for both of us. We’d talked online before and he had claimed to be versatile, but based on the profile I knew him by, I doubted that was true, but I figured if I could do it, then this dude was capable of it, too.

Sneaking in, I immediately disrobe, letting my clothes fall to the floor right next to the door. I slip on a jock strap and my cock ring before moving toward the cloaked crate. Checking my ass one last time, I get up on the crate on all fours, crouching down low enough to spread my cheeks. Then I take a monster hit off the brand new bottle of poppers I happen to have with me. Immediately, I sense someone walking up behind me. He crouches down and places his tongue on my hole. Instinctively, I press back onto his mouth and allow myself to slip into the warmth of his talented mouth. After eating my hole for about five minutes, he stands and moves over to my left, so his crotch is right at the level of my mouth. I turn my head as he unzips his jeans. Big dicks, in their flaccid form, vary quite a bit. Some are growers, not showers, some hang pendulously, while others are just a cocoon of mouth watering temptation. His was the latter. Greedily, I take his soft dick in my mouth and begin massaging it with my tongue. In no time at all he’s skull fucking me, holding my head in place on the crate as he rams his full nine in and out of my mouth. I’m a tad surprised, because, in spite of his length and thickness I am still able to swallow the entire thing with no discomfort (Yay! I guess all that practice does pay off.) He’s really getting off on fucking my throat and there is a little voice inside my head that suddenly fears that he may fill up on the appetizer and skip the main course. But never fear, he eventual disengages my mouth and moves behind me.

Throughout our playtime, he’s been huffing poppers as much as I have. There is something about a top who can stay hard and snort poppers that is such a turn on for me. As he stands behind me now, he’s got the bottle to his nose and I decide to do the same. He pulls me down from the crate, which is a little on the high side and makes me bend over it. I do and manage to push my ass up in the air, which gives the small of my back just the sweetest bend (or at least I hope it does). I ask him to go slow and he does. I’m sucking poppers the entire time until I feel that thing – whatever it is – deep inside me, relax, and that when my insides go all liquid. Dude turns out to be a first class top, dicking me with all sorts of variations on my favorite theme – ram and jam. We alternate who’s doing the work, too. As far as I’m concerned, unless asked not to, fucking back is part of a bottom’s responsibility. I love bouncing my ass back on a dude’s rod with as much intensity as possible before slowing down, tightening my sphincter and languidly milking a dude’s fuck stick with my hole. Nice thing about big dicks? They really give you something to work with!

His dick feels so good in my hole I’m thinking this won’t last long at all. But it does. He puts me on my back and works me that way for about ten minutes. I love looking into his eyes and there actually does seem to be some kind of connection between us, even though neither of us makes a move to kiss or make this a more intimate fuck. I usually don’t push the issue of kissing unless we’ve discussed it specifically before meeting. Some dudes don’t want to lock lips unless they’re in love with you and I respect that. That, however, doesn’t mean we can’t fuck.

TotalTop manages to live up to his name. I’m loving every minute he’s using my hole right up to the moment when he announces that he’s going to cum. Egging him on like a gay porn cheerleader, he plows my hole deep, delivering a hot four-day load. He’s one of those guys who rams up until the moment he starts to shoot and then freezes, allowing the cum to pump it’s way out of his dick head on it’s own accord.. He stays in me until I jerk off my own and then pulls out. I immediately drop to my knees to clean his dick with my mouth, working out the last of his sweet load. We talk. Sweet and somewhat shy, he’s a super nice guy. Discussion centers around his two profiles, how likely it is he’ll be topping again anytime soon, if he’s planning on going to the warehouse party that Friday and this other nine inch dude we both know who used to be a die hard top, but recently has become something of a hard core bottom. I dress, pick-up my stuff and head back to work, reasoning that I can grab a quick shower in the locker room at my gym when I get there. I’m pretty fucking satiated and really would have called it a day… if I hadn’t already made other plans.

There’s this other dude, another TotalTop. I have known(?) him for a number of years. He’s stood me up, blown me off and in general jerked me around like a fucking string puppet for quite awhile now. At one point I was convinced that his profile was a complete con job and that he got off on setting dudes up and standing them up. I even began to think that the dude in the pics on his profile (headless body and dick pics) didn’t actually exist. We fucked once six years ago. It was okay, as I remember, but, at the time, I sensed he wasn’t all that enthused. It was one of those hook ups where it took me forever to get there and the whole affair felt rushed and more about the poppers than the sex. After that, we would chat on line, but I felt he was holding me at arms length. Turns out he has a partner, blah, blah, blah. 

Fast forward four years, I’ve had his profile blocked and been ignoring him as best I could. That’s when I join a new site, which he is already a member of, and he starts hitting on me again. I’m pretty cool towards him, but he really seems interested and so we set up a time to meet. I’m to come into his condo, strip, go into the spare bedroom, get on the bed on all fours, don a blindfold and wait for him. Things are going really well. His dick is a definite nine inches, but it is also super thick, which makes giving head difficult, but certainly not anything I’m not capable of. I swallow him down to the root, stretching my mouth and throat to their absolute limits, and that seems to impress him. He likes getting head, which is good, because that particular day my douching is less than perfect and I have left my kit in the car. I excuse myself, go the bathroom and do the best I can to rectify (cool pun intended) the situation, but to no avail. Once I take getting fucked off the table, he dismisses me and, dejected, I head home without getting any.

So for the next six months, he ignores me, before going on yet another campaign to get me to his place. I finally agree. He’s moved to yet another building (his fourth in the time that I have known him). It’s another case of too little information (in fact, the wrong info – wrong apartment number, wrong floor, etc.), and everything is rush, rush. I finally find his apartment door only to learn he decided I took too long and got another dude to come over and fuck. I’m standing outside his apartment door, knocking, but he won’t come to the door. And… that’s it, right. End of story. I go back home and block him all over again. Enough is enough.

Last month I joined yet another site, and he’s on it (of course he is, we’re both raging sex-aholics, what do you expect?). He hits on me. I decide to give it one more shot, and that shot ends up on the day that I hook up with the dude I just talked about above.

Fortunately, this guy hasn’t moved, and is still in the same building and apartment. Cool. Advantage; me. I know the lay of the land and arrive a half hour early, park in guest parking and sit in my car (last time, I didn’t know about guest parking and spent 40 minutes trying to find on-the-street parking). Another thing? This time I have a new phone – my Droid, which has internet access, so I am in communication with the dude the entire time. I actually see him drive his truck into the parking garage, so I know he’s there. At the agreed upon time, he summons me up to his apartment. He’s left the door unlocked, so I let myself in, strip, and slip into the bathroom to check my ass. When I come out, he’s lying naked on the bed. His cock isn’t hard, but I’m pretty sure I know how to fix that.

Kneeling before him, I take his dick in my mouth and work my magic on it. This guy is one of those tall, super thin, not an ounce of body fat, types. There’s something very blue collar and Midwestern about him. He reminds me of a lot of guys that live a few hours north of St. Cloud. As he’s working the bottle of poppers like it’s a tank of oxygen and he’s on life support, he compliments me on my dick sucking skills, talking frequently and calling me ‘baby’ in this super sexy, masculine, former-smoker’s voice. It makes me work all the harder. I think it’s rare that he finds a cocksucker he’s attracted to and possesses the skills necessary to deep throat him. He’s enjoying the head so much I start to wonder if he’s ever going to get around to fucking my ass.

After twenty minutes of head, he orders me to my feet and tells me to bend over and show him my hole. Taking a huge snort of poppers, he lines up the head of his dick with my hole and fucking drives that huge mother deep in me all in one, massively hard thrust. I’m seeing stars, but he could give a fuck. There is nothing subtle about this dude’s technique. His attack is brutal and straight forward. The whole thing lasts about three minutes and then he deposits his load in my ass. I know that he’s in a hurry for me to get out of there; his partner is on his way home from work, so he pulls out immediately. I turn around, drop to my knees and shove his spent dick in my mouth; hey, I want to get off, too. Just as I’m about to shoot my load, he reminds me to make sure to shoot it on the small area rug we’ve been playing on. He doesn’t want any strange DNA on his carpet. No worries. As soon as I’m finished, I jet to the bathroom, do a quick hole rinse, wash up and start getting dressed. When I come out, he’s dressed in a pair of sweat pants and suddenly in a chatty mood. The conversation is nice – about our animals, how we can’t wait for summer to get here, how sick we both are of the winter… As soon as I’m put back together, I double check to make sure I’m taking with me everything I brought with me and bolt. We have plans to see each other again in two weeks and I’m thinking that’s cool. Having a big dick that wants your ass again? That’s a nice feeling.

My Conclusion:
I’ve come to embrace my inner size queen and think we all should. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s like being offered a two layer cake or a wedding cake – same cake, same frosting. Which would you choose? If you’re being honest with yourself, you will say you would take the wedding cake – hey, more cake for everyone, right? (Not to mention more frosting… so not true). Truthfully, when I eat a meal I want to leave feeling not just satiated, but a tiny bit stuffed. It makes me feel secure, and when I’m feeling secure I sleep much better. And when I get a good night’s sleep? I am a much happier person.

Sure, there are those out there who seek out tiny dicks, but I think their numbers are much smaller (no pun intended) than those preferring big cocks. I just don’t feel there should be any shame any longer in saying, “Hey world… I want more!”

Next week: I take a break from Acquired Tastes and delve into my personal sex stats for the year, which ended on 3/10/11. There will be some eye opening surprises revealed (or not – yeah, I’m a whore, like you didn’t know that already) and perhaps some life changing conclusions made (or not – could a year of celibacy be in the cards?). In any event, it will serve as a kind of state of the union address. Where do I go from here? I think I will probably just keep treading water and work on the Acquired Tastes series for awhile. You know… until spring, when the snow begins to disappear along with most of my clothes and sense of modesty.


Ron Buckmire said...

Great post. Thanks for sharing, literally!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

This was soooo illuminating!
I have had relationships with two men with big dicks. It did take time to get used to them. One of them used his dick like a ramrod. No finesse. No technique. The other was slightly better but still, he relied on that dick too much.
A big dick is really nice to look at. And it's awesome if the man the dick's attached to is not, well, a dick.