Acquired Tastes, Chapter XVII : Rimming: UPDATED

Speed it up, heat it up,

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Till I get, get enough,

You never know, never know, never know

I like that there, yeah that there…

A little more to the left

I like my kisses down low

Makes me arch my back

When you give it to me slow

Baby just like that

 - Kisses Down Low by Kelly Rowland

I have been meaning to get around to this for a while now.  Of all the Acquired Tastes I have written so far (40), this is the only one that did not represent what I really think, feel, and do.  I must have been in some weird mood or one of my more prudish personas must have taken charge of my head space that day, because… I love rimming.  Love eating ass.  If one is presented, I rarely pass it up (unless it doesn’t pass the nose test). 

I apologize for my previous post about this subject.  Whoever wrote that doesn’t represent my real views. 

One of the reasons I like it so much is because, hey, guess what – I’m good at it. Once committed, I am as creative at eating hole as when deepthroating a dick.  It’s all about technique, variety, commitment, and passion.  Yes, squeamishness may play a part on occasion – I typically have high standards for cleanliness, but it is rare that I take a pass when a sweet hole is presented for some tongue plundering.

So, let’s spread apart those twin mounds, see if it passes the sniff test, and dive on in tongue first, as we revisit the art of…

Rimming

Scope of Activity:

One gay man puts his mouth on the clean rectum of another gay man.  There is lots of tongue-play, lots of saliva, in other words: the gay male version of cunnilingus. 

The Official Line:

With information from Wikipedia:

Anilingus (from anus + lingus (Latin Lingere: to lick), also spelled analingus, also referred to or described as anal–oral contact or anal–oral sex, is a form of oral sex involving contact between the anus or perineum of one person and the mouth (lips) or tongue of another. Slang terms frequently used are rimming or rim-job. 

Anilingus can be performed by people of all sexual orientations and, depending upon the context in which it is performed, it may be used for personal pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.

Anilingus involves a variety of techniques to stimulate the anus including kissing, licking, and sliding the tongue up and down the insides of the cheeks and crack of the buttocks, and in and out of the anus itself. Pleasure for the giver is usually based more on the principle of the act.  Mutual anilingus can also be done in the position called 69.

                                               

Psychological Aspects:

The Wikipedia entry makes reference to “erotic humiliation” – I’m not all that sure humiliation plays into this activity, unless it’s a dom top making his sub bottom eat his hairy hole, as part of role play.   

While talking about man-on-man mouth-on-hole action may be a tad embarrassing for some, the actual act usually takes place with a real sense of purpose and drive.  In other words, dudes that eat ass really love to eat ass.  It’s primal.  It’s dirty fucking sex at its wildest. 

Psychologically what drives a man to eat another man’s hole?  Maybe it’s a desire to return to the ‘womb’ (the man womb?).  Maybe it has to do with creating a hyper kind of intimacy that can only be achieved via tongue on butt, a deeper connection, if you will.  Maybe it’s to demonstrate a willingness to go wherever necessary to please and give pleasure.  Maybe it’s a visual thing where the mind sees the general form of an ass (two sweet mounds) and the active partner feels the need to breathe life into it.  Or maybe the dude wants to plow that hole, so he needs to prime the soil a bit to ensure good planting.

Precautions, Risks, and Advice

Make sure that ass is clean.  Give it the sniff test.  Smells like shit?  Yep, there’s shit to be found there in some form. 

Many health problems that can result from practicing anilingus due to the presence of bacteria, viruses or parasites on or in the anus or rectum. These include:

Hepatitis A, B, & C
Intestinal Parasites
Chlamydia
Poliomyelitis
Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Gonorrhea
Herpes
Conjunctivitis
And other sexually transmitted diseases

That said, the HIV virus is not believed to be easily transmitted via rimming.

Wipe that thang down with a wet wipe before chowing down.  Sure, it’s not going to be a fix-all for a dirty ass, but some bottoms are half-assed (love the pun) douchers (careless, in a hurry, lazy, etc.), and while the inside may be as clean as it can be, sometimes they forget to wipe down the surrounding upholstery.

Advice for the active partner:  This is not an activity for the timid.  This requires commitment on your part.  Not feeling it?  Don’t bother.  Your partner will appreciate the fact that you know your limits and will not waste his time with an inept, squeamish, tentative attempt at eating ass.  Your partner will probably happily move on to something else.

But if you are good to go, then go at it like a pig at the trough.  In other words, dive in tongue first, use a reasonable amount of saliva, and go to town.  Vary your technique, amount of pressure applied, and tempo.  Think of it as deep kissing… it’s just a different kind of lip.  Anything that you do as part of kissing you should bring to the table when eating ass.  P.S. – it helps to be a great kisser.

Be sure to stay in tune with the needs of your partner.  This isn’t just about you performing this incredible feat.  It should be about giving pleasure as much as receiving it.  So keep your ears tuned to the sounds your partner’s making. Pick up on shifts in body posture and breathing.  Doing something wrong?  Your partner will let you know. Not sure?  Ask.

Advice for the receiver: Be vocal, not stoic.  You like?  Let them know.  You no like?  Let them know.  The active partner is there for your pleasure as much as his.  Give him feedback.

Push back on that face.  Sit on that face.  Grind on that face.  The active partner will let you know when to take control, or, be brave and suggest. 

I would like to say you can make this work for you no matter what, but the sad fact is, just as when one is stuck sucking face with a bad kisser, the same will be true for a bad or timid ass eater; there’s very little you can do about it.  It could be a teaching opportunity, but if it’s just a one-time thing, do you really want to spend your energy enriching the sexual life of someone you will never see again? Sure, if you have the time and energy.  Sure, if you are feeling generous.  But, for me, it’s never worth it, so I just shift their attention elsewhere as soon as I can.  Sure, let them try, let them put in a little effort. Let them think they are rocking your world and then spin about and suck their big fat cock.  Everybody doesn’t need to be good at everything. 

Re: cleanliness.   This is primarily your responsibility.  Don’t be offering up your hole for eating if the kitchen isn’t clean.  Not only should you do a thorough douche, you should also shower or at least wipe that thing down with a sanitizing wet wipe before letting your partner go downtown.  Keeping our ass eaters nice and healthy?  Oh, yeah, that’s part of your job.

My Experience:

I do liken eating ass to eating pussy – something that I have actually done (and didn’t care for).  There is that animal energy that takes over; that same energy that finds you doing all sorts of nasty things you would never consider doing unless your clothes are off and you are in the midst of some hot man-to-man fun.

Being on the receiving end is just as fun as playing the active partner. Granted, I have suffered numerous sessions where the dude back there had not a clue of what he was doing, but then I have also had my share of encounters where the dude became so intent on his task that he stopped picking up my signals and my less than enthusiastic response.  In short, it ended up feeling like a cat’s tongue working my hole (ouch!). I have also been privileged to find my hole worked over by a true artist.  It’s rare, but it does happen.  These instances have become more frequent and I have come to truly embrace having my hole worked over by a great mouth.

My favorite?  Doing a walk-in scene, where my hole is presented for whoever comes through the door.  Typically this happens in my garage.  I like playing in my garage.  When a top enters and immediately goes down on my hole?  That’s trust.  That’s hot.  And if the skill level is up to par, then I know I am in for a good time down the line as well.  It’s the anonymity aspect that gets me hot – because typically I don’t turn around.  Instead, I hit the poppers and melt into the moment, so I concentrate on the sensation and pleasure being given and not what the dude looks like.

My recent enthusiasm for having my hole eaten has also reawakened and inspired me as an active partner.  This could have something to do my reawakened desire to be more versatile.  Yes, the die-hard top in me has been brought back to life!  While I never promise anything, once I’m naked with someone, I will want to see their ass.  And once I see their ass: Imma-gonna-wanna do something with it.  This has brought out my aggressive side, a side which I have always liked.  That said, it should be noted that I’m also a terribly aggressive bottom – or maybe that should be termed, a terribly committed, passionate bottom. 

I know the dangers of this particular activity: the parasites – parasites which I have at one time in my life been treated for.  Whether that was because of some food handler who failed to wash his hands, or me drinking contaminated water from a creek, or all that ass eating I’d been doing, I can’t say for sure (but let’s blame that food handler, okay, doc?).  I have read that dental dams are a possible solution: available from a wide variety of retailers on Amazon.  But that sounds a lot less sexy than condoms (and I don’t find condoms sexy, sorry).  And I have yet to find anyone that would warm to the idea of using cling wrap on their hole (pity, might be interesting).

Last Friday, in the evening, I had a date of sorts with Mr. Dungeon Master.  It had been a couple of months since we’d seen each other due to his many singing-related activities.  I gave him fair warning that I was in a mood to top his ass and that it had best be ready.  He was cool with that and promised to give just as good as he got.

Walking in, he greets me, sitting on the steps in his harness and boots, 7.5 beauty at the ready.  With his sweet pecs and v-shaped torso, rock solid jaw, and phy ed coach hair, he looks the epitome of a leather dom top.  I tried to top him the last time we played, but when the moment came I experienced engine failure in part due to the cold.  I was certain that was not going to be a problem tonight and proceeded to dom him as much as he dommed me.  He had told me the second time we met that he kind of gets off on being challenged.  We suck and spit on each other, kissing deeply in between transitions, making animal noises and semi-wrestling.  I’ve missed him and make no bones about it.  We have a very good rapport with one another and I feel comfortable sharing almost everything with him. 

At one point, still seated on the stairs, he spins me about and goes to town on my hole.  The man is a master rimmer.  He really should teach at a university.  And the thing is… he loves his work and it shows.  I don’t even bother with poppers when with him, because I am usually too enthralled with whatever he’s serving up.  This is particularly true when he’s eating my ass.  The man makes me melt, naturally.

At about the forty minute mark, he suggests we head to his dungeon in the basement.  I’m good to go.  It’s a bit chilly down there, not a problem in summer, but this has been a very, very cool spring.  We continue with the oral stuff, taking turns and then I coax him into the sling.  I take my time eating his ass, treating him to much of what he had just done to me upstairs.  My style is a little different.  I tend to really mouth the pucker and sometimes suck in, like one would suck on a dude’s tongue.  Some men go all shrilly when I do this and some fucking love it.  It is an odd sensation I am sure, and very different from the typical tongue work; licking and penetrating.  But he’s game and things are good.

Then I go to enter him.  I know to use a lot of lube; dude does not bottom very often, but even that is not enough.  I end up having to really, really, really take my time with him.  And I do because I want his ass and it’s not going to be any fun for me if it’s not good for him.  He’s feeling bad, and I keep reassuring him that I am more than happy to go slow; I’m having a good time, plus, I know that eventually I will be rewarded for my patience.  And I am.  After about fifteen minutes of testing the waters, he finally relaxes enough and starts to enjoy my full dick in him.  Soon I’m pushing and pulling on those chains, very lightly at first… and then I wait. 

I wait for him to beg for it.

Once he does, I play coy.  I question if he’s ready for it.  If he’s worthy of it. 

And he is.  Of course, he is…

Once I’m psychologically satisfied and feeling as full of myself as he is feeling full of my cock, I go to work; destination: poundtown.  After a point he’s begging me to cum like a needy, porn star bottom, partly because he wants my load and partly because I am tearing up his hole something fierce.  As I feel myself reaching the point of no return, I abruptly still the sling and hold him in place with my dick shoved deep in his ass.  Then I throb and release, throb and release, throb and release… it feels like the world has stopped spinning; that time is standing still.  And then I resume pounding his hole, as a fierce roar comes from my belly.  I feel so fucking powerful. 

And spent.

I leave my dick in him, lean over and kiss him, deep. Passionately.  It is his final reward.

My dick is still rock hard (a rarity after cumming) and I tease him with the idea that I may want to just continue fucking him until I lose a second load.  That makes him a little nervous and he begs off.  Still, I have a good time poking that opened up fuck hole.  Who knows when I might get another chance to dom him?  I want him to remember me.

We switch places.  He eats my hole and sort of half-attempts to start fucking me, but I can tell he’s feeling it – but not feeling it.  It’s at this point that he confesses that he would actually rather rim someone than fuck them.  I’m good with that.  I am totally satisfied.  He eats my hole some more until we drop off into casual conversation.  We shower, dress, and go to dinner.  The conversation is good. I like spending time with him.  He’s good company.  As I drop him off, we kiss in the car.  

The perfect date.  It had been awhile (for me).  I don’t date.  This? I enjoyed.  And something tells me that another two months won’t go by without me seeing him. 

Yeah, it was in his kiss.

My Conclusion:

So… liar, liar… pants on fire!

I had to out myself as an ass eater.  I had to come clean (so to speak).  And I’m glad I did.  There’s no shame to it, no matter what the Christian right and the media has to say about it.  Hey, straights do it, too!  It’s an orifice, so it demands some sexual attention, be it fingers, dick, or tongue.

Use the comments section to share any tips, stories, or ideas you might have regarding your experience and expertise on the topic.

I enjoy the animal aspects of it.  Or perhaps liken it to eating watermelon from the rind, when you don’t give a shit (icky pun) how messy and slurpy and wet things get.  Sometimes sex is not supposed to be neat and clean and pretty. 

While I understand it’s not for everyone, I still think everyone should give it a try.  Why?  Because it is one of those jumping off points; if you can get into eating ass and come to appreciate its value as a sexual activity, then you have passed a certain gateway – you grow more comfortable in your skin, gain confidence, and become a little more daring and open in the sack.  You might even say that you begin your journey into the realm of more hardcore sex. 

Isn’t that a scary term?  Hardcore?  It sounds painful.  But hardcore is merely a way of saying “being fully committed” and has little to do with vanilla vs. kink.  And that said, I’m really not all that sure which term applies to eating ass.  For me, personally, it falls on the vanilla side of things.  Others may not agree. What say you?

What does matter is how it makes you feel – giving or receiving.  Does it bring you pleasure?  Yes, ass is certainly an acquired taste – and excuse me for getting a tad gross here – in the literal sense.  But trust me.  Once you make it over that hurdle – a world of kinky delights await you.  

Yep… that hole is not just for fucking anymore.

Slurp!