Total Pageviews

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

TMI Questions: Sock It To Me!

Do you remember that poster/photo of the group Red Hot Chili Peppers where the band members are completely naked except for the white athletic socks they wear on their johnsons?  It was near the beginning of their career.  They were young and lean and dirty/sexy and that photo lit a fire in me.  To this day, when I am at the gym and feeling horny, I contemplate putting one of my athletic socks on my dick - I kid you not.

Socks are on my ‘Acquired Tastes’ list for a future post and I can’t wait to delve into it. 

TMI Questions: Sock It To Me!

Questions designed to reveal Too Much Information


Sock It To Me!

What's your shoe size?


That speaks for itself on so many levels.  A little above average, but not so much that it gives me bragging rights.

Worst experience from a shoe size perspective?  A ditzy choreographer who forced me to learn a tap routine in size 9 and1/2 tap shoes (cheap bastards).  Talk about painful.   I made it through four rehearsals before I announced that I would be choreographing my own number and that tap shoes would play no part. 

It was a production of ‘Once Upon A Mattress’ and I played the court jester.  I had a solo number, ‘Very Soft Shoes’, which I thought should be an old-style vaudeville soft shoe routine (think ‘Tea for Two’) – not tap!  I’ve seen it done both ways since, and I still think soft shoe is the way to go.  

Yes, I got my way, but, it was the start of some bad mojo – it was definitely a prima donna move on my part.  By the time the show closed I was the stinky cheese sitting in the corner alone.  Most of the company hated me and I was never asked back.

Do your socks and shoes stink?

No. After a long, rigorous hike there may be a definite slight masculine odor to them, but they do not stink.

I do have a pair of Asics runners that I wear for zumba.  I’ve noticed when I am choreographing a new routine they do have a tendency to pack a stink.  I just bleach those suckers.  My work out shoes, on the other hand, do not stink. 

And there is nothing worse.  While I do enjoy certain kinds of fresh funk belonging to others garnered via shoes, socks, jock straps, balls – too much, is too much.  Fresh is the key to sexy.  Old funk and old stink?  So not sexy.

I know some men/boys are turned on by that old kind of stink stank and actually seek to cultivate it.  It’s not unlike certain cheeses – and not for me.

I worked with a photographer once who was into that.  His expensive designer sneaks smelled something fierce and, I suspect, he was very proud of it.  But I find most people with stinky footwear are simply clueless clods who need to be given a nudge to buy a new pair of sneakers or work boots.

I did summerstock with this set designer for four seasons who was a clueless straight dude.  His work boots were notorious.  You’d get within two feet of him and wonder: what’s that smell?  I remember every summer he would develop this huge ass crush on some actress, lavishing her with flowers on opening nights, only to be rejected when he made his move.  He was a hygienic mess until he met a woman who saw through his funk and recognized his potential as breeding stock.  The first thing she did?  Bought him a new pair of work boots and a couple of bags of those red and gray work socks.  She was not technically a beauty, but, boy, she sure knew how turn his world upside down.  And she put out, so all told, he did well for himself.

Around the house do you wear socks, slippers, or go barefoot?

Depends on the weather and my mood.

I have to take my dogs out a lot, so either a pair of sneakers or slippers need to be on my feet at all times.  Except in summer – then I will go out barefoot.

I never paddle around the house in socks, because I typically wear either black cotton (work) or white cotton socks.  The black socks come off the moment I get home from work to extend their life.  And it strikes me as unseemly to dirty the bottoms of white socks walking around my house.  It’s hard on the socks and shortens their life span.  Also, with the dogs, my floors are not pristine at all times.  I don’t want to use my socks as dirt collectors. Ick.

What length and color are your athletic socks?

Mine are white with gray toes and heels.  They hit me mid-calf, but I scoot them down so they bunch around my ankle, unless I’m wearing boots.  I love white socks.

I love knee-high athletic socks from the seventies with the colored rings at the top – on others.

I hate those little bootie things that dudes wear.  They look girlish and are horribly unattractive (to my eyes) – especially when having sex.   When they take them off the look like a used condom.

Do you wear normal dress socks or do you have some fun ones?

Black cotton socks for work.

White cotton socks for working out or every day wear.

I have some grey socks with red tops that I wear with my leather fuck-me boots which I sport on leather nights at the eagle or… other places when they are called for.

I have a couple of pair of super thick socks that I think are sexy on others, but I have yet to wear.

And I have two pairs of cotton tan socks, in the event that I ever have to wear khakis again in this life.  Target Corporation’s standard when walking a store is red shirt and khakis.  I hated it, but complied for six and a half years.  I must be suffering from PTSD, because the thought of donning a red shirt or khakis or those tan socks causes me panic attacks, and yet… I cannot bring myself to throw them away!  Stockholm syndrome, perhaps?  I did drink the Kool-Aid for a number of years.

Do you sleep with socks on or off?


Unless it’s really, really cold, which it does get here in Minnesota.  We always have a week in January when the temps are twenty to forty below.  Socks on at all times are the only way to survive.  Plus blankets.  My dogs hate to go out during that week, but they sure love those blankets.

In summer, I typically sleep either with only my feet out from under the covers or my whole self completely on top of the covers.  Feels so good.  I love summer.

During the summer do you go sockless?

Yes.  As of last summer (2013), I started to sun minus socks –wearing only an old pair of running shoes.  That said, I rarely go barefoot, except in my backyard or my bathroom. 

When I hike, it depends on the seriousness of the hike.  If it is just a walk on an established trail, I will go sans socks, wearing just the running shoes.  This has resulted in me having lots of tiny cuts and abrasions on the front of my legs, right above my ankles due to brush.  Some of those prickly weeds not only hurt, but can do some serious damage.  Wearing socks significantly impacts the severity of those wounds.

Are socks on a man sexy?


When it comes to others, I have a kind of sock fetish.  My favorite?  Naked, dark or ginger-haired/furred men wearing nothing but those really, really thick wool, speckled socks. 

Sexy as fuck.  Especially if the dude has a nicely trimmed beard.

I imagine Sean, the creator of TMI Questions, would look sexy as fuck in a pair of those.

Now there’s a post I’d like to see… (And I suspect I am not alone!)

Have you ever used garters with socks?

Only once.  For a summerstock production of some bedroom farce where there was a scene in the middle of the night when the entire cast had to run about in the dark trying to hook-up with one another.  It’s a standard scene in such comedies and the British really know how do this well.  Therefore, men in dress socks with garters wearing night shirts or boxers and a wife beater are the norm for this.

I didn’t find them sexy.  Just silly.  Think - ‘Monty Python’.

Have you ever darned a sock?

Oh, yeah.  Growing up, we had to.  No money for new.  My mother had this room where she hoarded things like broken toys that she would someday send “to a place” to be repaired, magazine and newspaper articles she would “get around to reading”, and clothing that she was “going to fix”. 

I looked at it as my own private garage sale.  When it came time for back-to-school or finding a costume for some show, that room was my go to place.  I couldn’t sew at all, but I managed.

These days?  Once a sock has a hole in it, in the trash it goes.  I’m not repopulating this planet, so, while I recycle like a tree-hugger, I have no qualms about creating a landfill full of my used socks.

Sex - socks on or socks off?


How bad are their feet?  Crusty?  Old, discolored toe nails?  Deformed or damaged appendages?  If that’s the case, then as long as those socks are clean and don’t make you look like a clown, leave them on. 

That said, I do typically cover my feet during sex.  I hate my feet.  And since I rarely have sex in an actual bed, it is not an issue.  I make sure my socks are clean and draw minimal attention to themselves – almost always scooting them down to the ankle; mid-calf white athletic socks – gray toe and heel. 

Sex in black dress socks?  Tacky, unless they are gold-toe black socks and that is part of the scene.  I used to meet up with this suit-freek and I would jerk him off with my feet wearing a pair of gold-toe black nylon dress socks.  It was kind of hot, but, when it turned out that was the only thing that got him off, it ended after four sessions.

Older men in dress socks remind me of John Cleese, which brings a smile to my face, but does not make me want to do dirty things to their body.

Young feet or pristinely cared for feet?  Yes.  Leave them naked.  Put them in my mouth.  Let me suck those toes, lick those arches. 

Naked, nicely cared for, feet?  Super sexy.


Mistress Maddie said...

An interesting post. I have to say socks don't do it for me. Now hot muscular slightly hair legs.....thats another story! I wear socks for work. But other than that, at home, bare almost 100% of the time. Summer? Barefoot alot. I did have one guy though that liked me to wear "catholic boy striped" socks once,while he had my legs up doing the deed. Drove him nuts! Ah, what the hell, who am I to begrudge?

whkattk said...

What?!? Wait... They expected you to do a TAP number in that scene, wearing taps shoes that were too small??? Then, when you refused, YOU were ostracized? Following through on their demands could have damaged your feet - permanently. Thank your lucky stars you were never asked back! Were it me, even had they asked me back, I would have told them to stuff it.

OK, that rant is over. I'm barefoot as much as possible; summer, winter, it doesn't matter. I'll wear short athletic socks with my sneakers. Used to wear black cotton when working. Had thick white cotton/wool blend for my hiking boots. In my younger days, I went sockless - - but, then again, it was all the rage.

Anonymous said...

Great answers as always! I find that photos make socks seem sexier than the real thing plus traction could be an issue.

Stan said...

Interesting as always.
Now that you mention it in the Bonus question, I can't remember the last time I had sex anywhere near a bed either.

BlkJack said...

Socks do nothing for me, except when someone has dirty white ones on....sorry. Btw, does a bed in a bathhouse count?